User:Miriam

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Miriam Schöb

No one is gonna read this Wiki page, so...

  • I once accidentally burnt my tongue from drinking hot soup, then wanted to cool it by licking the inside of a freezer, then my tongue got stuck on the frozen surface and I had to rip it off
  • Tried to improvise at a spoken word performance and ended up trying to imitate cheese that fell on the floor and it was the most unfunny thing ever
  • I once ate instant noodles for three days straight and got constipated afterwards
  • I met a person that kinda looked familiar and I asked her if she's the cousin of my father (that I never met in real life) and she said yes because she thought I was joking and I didn't get the joke and addressed her as a "family member" for the rest of the evening and she didn't correct me because she thought I'm being ironic, so I ended up thinking that a complete stranger is related to me
  • Went to the school psychologist because I thought "Hey, it's for free, maybe I'll find out something funny about myself" and ended up being transferred to a neurologist for an ADHD diagnosis
  • I had an appendicitis when I was 7 years old and when I had to go to the hospital, I brought an empty jar with me and I asked the doctors whether they could put my appendix in the empty jar so I could have a look at it after the operation
  • Worked as a student at a restaurant next to a store that sells massage chairs and I'd regularly go in and tell them that I have chronic back pain and rich parents that are considering buying me a massage chair because I thought they would not let me try the massage chairs if I didn't make up that story and I am a 100% sure they knew I lied
  • As a kid I thought that Anne Hathaway in Princess Diaries had the most beautiful smile ever so I tried to smile like her all the time and now my smile looks super stiff and creepy on all the pictures taken during my childhood
  • I love going to the dentist, the warm light almost always makes me super sleepy and relaxed

Special Issue 16

...and I wish that your question has been answered.[1]

This project is an act of persistent resistance. We created a few functions to facilitate an iterative process of refusal towards PM Kryakos Mitsotakis and PM Mark Rutte's answers during a Press Conference and any of their possible versions. We invite you to play as much as you want with these functions and create your own answers as counter-reaction to Mark Rutte's final sentence: "So this is my answer and I wish that your question has been answered". Every new answer, every new iteration, can be submitted to our Archive of Repetitive Answers. Although they will never be good enough, nor shall they be accepted as exhaustive, we consider the modified answers as a trigger for a never-ending dialogue.

Our tool is a filter to process and alter texts. By targeting specific words and replacing them, either for another word, for specific characters or for blank spaces, the reader or user of the tool can change the text in many ways. The tool includes three functions The function “respell” receives as input a text (string type) and substitute all the occurrences of a target word with a replacement chosen by the user. The function “stitch” is very similar to the previous one but replaces all the occurrences of a target word with a single character (it can also be a blank space) that is repeated as many times as the length of the target. The third function “reveal” also works very similar but deletes all input text except the target word(s) and replaces the deleted text with blank spaces.