The Hitchhiker's Guide to an Active Archive/Audience Engagement Protocol
🎵 Play transition jingle: jingle
🎵 Play background Music: background_static.mp3
Navigator: [SIGHS] Performer: Yeah, you're right, two hours is a long time for everyone after all, I am also getting quite bored here. Navigator: There are a lot of buttons we could press to entertain ourselves, but I am not sure how that will be interesting for our audience. Protocoller: That would be a breach of protocol. Performer: Oh come on, it'll be fun! Protocoller: I guess the Guide does say 'unexpected adventures can be fun'... Performer: Let's just go for it, what is the worst that can happen? Navigator: Agreed! I'll initiate Protocol 'Randomly Pressing Buttons for Unexpected Sounds'. Protocoller: Protocol: Randomly Pressing Buttons for Unexpected Sounds. Expected the expected what to expect when you are unexpecting. For our sensitive listening devices: please be aware of loud noises.
🎵 Play button bashing: pressing-buttons.mp3
Performer: Euhmm... what was that? Navigator: Protocoller, I'm afraid we're experiencing issues in our communication with Ground Control. Protocoller: We triggered an unexpected pathway, have you performed a Mic Check recently? Maybe that could help us get back into the flow of the flowchart.
If no Mic Check has been performed this iteration:
Performer: No, it's been a while. Let's initiate a Mic Check. Navigator: Smart move. Redirecting to Mic Check...
Otherwise:
Performer: Yes, we've done a Mic Check not too long ago. I'm afraid the audience has stopped caring about the broadcast and is not listening anymore. Navigator: Yeah... Performer: Protocoller, do you have a solution for that? Protocoller: Of course. Initiate Audience Engagement Protocol. Protocoller: Step 1: Invent the wheel Performer: 'The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, "'And the wheel,' said the Captain, 'what about this wheel thingy? It sounds a terribly interesting project.' 'Ah,' said the marketing girl, 'well, we're having a little difficulty there.' 'Difficulty?' exclaimed Ford. 'Difficulty? What do you mean difficulty? It is the single simplest machine in the entire Universe!' The marketing girl soured him with a look 'All right, Mr Wiseguy,' she said, 'you're so clever, you tell us what colour it should be.'"
Protocoller: Step 2: Spin the Wheel of Fortune! Performer: Will Ground Control please message STOP in the pad to stop the wheel of fortune? Navigator, let's get readyyy toooo rumble!! (add with echo effect on vocal)
🎵 Play Gameshow Music UNTILL STOP HAS BEEN MESSAGED
The Presenter announces all options on a loop during the gameshow music
Presenter: Option 1: Rapidly move channels. Option 2: Go back to the start and do not receive any prize! Option 3: Introduction of our mystery guest! Option 42: Win a towel! Option 5: Call to the aquarium! Option 6: Extra dice rolls! Option 7: Free breakfast!
IF PAD has messaged stop!
Pause gameshow music
Protocoller: Step 3: Announce the winner. Performer: And the winner is...
🎵 Play Drumroll: Drumroll
Performer: Option 7: Free breakfast!!! Performer: The breakfast should be in your space RIGHT NOW! Performer, Protocoller and Navigator applaud
Protocoller: Audience Engagement Protocol completed. You must feel engaged now.