The Hitchhiker's Guide to an Active Archive/Microphone Protocol

From XPUB & Lens-Based wiki

🎵 Play transition jingle: move_1.mp3

🎵 Play background Music: background_static.mp3

Protocoller: Initiate Microphone Protocol. 
Performer: What should we do?
Navigator: I will open a connection to the Ether. Ground Control, please update us on our microphone status.

🎵 Play Connecting to the ether track Connecting_to_the_ether.mp3

Protocoller: Good. Meanwhile, reading paragraph 'Step-by-step Guide' from chapter 'Microphones' in The Hitchhiker's Guide to an Active Archive:

This should take about as long as the 'Connection to the ether' track.

Protocoller: Step 1. Is the mixer plugged in?
(Muffled sounds)
Navigator: Check
Protocoller: Step 2: Is the phantom power on?
(Muffled sounds)
Navigator: Check
Protocoller: Step 3: Listen to yourself through headphones.
(Muffled sounds)
Navigator: Check
Protocoller: Step 4: Check the cable, in case it's broken.
(Muffled sounds)
Navigator: Check... Ah.. Wait... Performer, did you press this button?
Performer: (Muffled sounds)
Protocoller: Step 5: Have you tried turning it off and on again?
Performer: No need Protocoller.

If PAD indicates trouble with the microphones:

🎵 adjust mixer FX channels; maybe warp our voices in the next dialogue lines
Navigator: Eeeuuuhhmmm...
Protocoller: Performer, please verify you're adherring to the protocol.
Performer: I was following the protocol!
Navigator: Oh no, we're pulled in towards the center of the Archive. I don't think we can stop this!

Otherwise:

Navigator: Okay, I think we're good! Ground Control verifies the Microphone Protocol was successful.
Performer: Phew, that was stressful.
Protocoller: Understood. Commence Chill Protocol.