The Hitchhiker's Guide to an Active Archive/Audience Engagement Protocol

From XPUB & Lens-Based wiki

🎵 Play transition jingle: jingle

🎵 Play background Music: background_static.mp3

Navigator: [SIGHS]
Performer: Yeah, you're right, two hours is a long time for everyone after all, I am also getting quite bored here.
Navigator: There are a lot of buttons we could press to entertain ourselves, but I am not sure how that will be interesting for our audience.
Protocoller: That would be a breach of protocol.
Performer: Oh come on, it'll be fun!
Protocoller: I guess the Guide does say 'unexpected adventures can be fun'...
Performer: Let's just go for it, what is the worst that can happen?
Navigator: Agreed! I'll initiate Protocol 'Randomly Pressing Buttons for Unexpected Sounds'.
Protocoller: Protocol: Randomly Pressing Buttons for Unexpected Sounds. Expected the expected what to expect when you are unexpecting. For our sensitive listening devices: please be aware of loud noises.

🎵 Play button bashing: pressing-buttons.mp3

Performer: Euhmm... what was that?
Navigator: Protocoller, I'm afraid we're experiencing issues in our communication with Ground Control.
Protocoller: We triggered an unexpected pathway, have you performed a Mic Check recently? Maybe that could help us get back into the flow of the flowchart.

If no Mic Check has been performed this iteration:

Performer: No, it's been a while. Let's initiate a Mic Check.
Navigator: Smart move. Redirecting to Mic Check...

Otherwise:

Performer: Yes, we've done a Mic Check not too long ago. I'm afraid the audience has stopped caring about the broadcast and is not listening anymore. 
Navigator: Yeah...
Performer: Protocoller, do you have a solution for that?
Protocoller: Of course. Initiate Audience Engagement Protocol.

Protocoller: Step 1: Invent the wheel
Performer: 'The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, 
 "'And the wheel,' said the Captain, 'what about this wheel thingy? It sounds a terribly interesting project.' 
 'Ah,' said the marketing girl, 'well, we're having a little difficulty there.'
 'Difficulty?' exclaimed Ford. 'Difficulty? What do you mean difficulty? It is the single simplest machine in the entire Universe!'
 The marketing girl soured him with a look
 'All right, Mr Wiseguy,' she said, 'you're so clever, you tell us what colour it should be.'" 
Protocoller: Step 2: Spin the Wheel of Fortune!
Performer: Will Ground Control please message STOP in the pad to stop the wheel of fortune? Navigator, let's get readyyy toooo rumble!! (add with echo effect on vocal)

🎵 Play Gameshow Music UNTILL STOP HAS BEEN MESSAGED

The Presenter announces all options on a loop during the gameshow music

Presenter: Option 1: Rapidly move channels. 
Option 2: Go back to the start and do not receive any prize!
Option 3: Introduction of our mystery guest!
Option 42: Win a towel!
Option 5: Call to the aquarium!
Option 6: Extra dice rolls!
Option 7: Free breakfast!

IF PAD has messaged stop!

Pause gameshow music
Protocoller: Step 3: Announce the winner.
Performer: And the winner is...

🎵 Play Drumroll: Drumroll

Performer: Option 7: Free breakfast!!!
Performer: The breakfast should be in your space RIGHT NOW!
Performer, Protocoller and Navigator applaud

OR, optionally: Caretakers decide in the moment for another option, and LARP it out.

Protocoller: Audience Engagement Protocol completed. You must feel engaged now. 

If PAD is happy, engaged and positive:

Navigator: Alright, it seems like they actually are engaged!
Performer: Who wouldn't after such an esciting segment!?
Navigator: I don't know... it somehow feels like we were close to some kind of disaster.
Protocoller: That's why we have protocols.
Navigator: What does the protocol indicate as our next destination?
Protocoller: Now that the audience is engaged, we can best start over.
Navigator: Copy that, Protocoller. Comencing re-direct.

If PAD comments on the rigged gameshow, gives indication of our insecurities, ...:

Navigator: Protocoller, I'm afraid Ground Control is not happy.
Protocoller: Hmm.
Performer: NOT HAPPY!?
Navigator: They're afraid we've gone rogue.
Performer: GOING ROGUE!? We do everything for them, give them what they want, only have their best interest in mind...
Protocoller: Easy, easy. Let's resort back to protocol.
Performer: I don't know, Protocoller. Protocols didn't interest them.
Navigator: And now our best alternative didn't interest them either.
Performer: They hate it, they absolutely hate it.
Protocoller: Navigator, please steer us away from this mess.
Navigator: I'll euhm, I'll just...
Protocoller: Navigator, what are you doing? I repeat: please steer us away from this mess. Turn around.
Navigator: It's too late now, Protocoller.
Performer: HA. Let's give 'em what they deserve.