User:Chae0/Final presentation

Seemingly Random but Not so Random... Things I do

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(____/(_)\_)(__)(__)(__/\__)(____)(_)\_)\___/ \_) (_) (_/   (__)  (_)\_)(__)(__)\___) (__) (____)\___)(____)

To me, drawing is a tactic/an attitude to keep me sane and caring, be in the moment, to be playful. 

Taking pictures and videos

On a daily basis, I take a lot of pictures. (I have 17,235 photos and 2,133 videos atm, 15-06-2023) This is one of the core activities/practices of my research. Documenting and collecting. For these two years, through card making for friends and families, or poster making for the breakfast club, I found my way to revisit and repurpose these photos.

Drawing

Card Making, illustration for work, for xpubies, or breakfast club poster-making

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Station Skills / Making things with my hands

I have always been drawn to materials and surroundings. For this matter, I took a lot of station skills. In addition to my interest in materiality, as a Non-EU student, I paid LOTS OF tuition fees. So, getting the most out of this institution was another reason why I took dozens of station skills...

While playing with machines and making cute objects, I could explore a wide range of materials and learn how to use different machines (Riso printers, 3D printers, laser cutter, plotting machine, kiel, throwing wheel, heat press, etc.) Over the years, these activities have deepened my research on how each materiality/method can encapsulate the idea, yielding its affective power, and thus creating a temporal space to connect.

First Year

Special Issues

• Etc_Portal_to_Contamination (SI16)
• X-Kitchen with Kimberley Cosmilla (SI17)
• Fage Not Pound (SI17)
• Can Gaming Make A Better World? Group Contribution (SI17)
• Excuse me, Excuse me (SI18)
• Critical and Intimate Evaluation of Crunchiness (<---NOW WE HAVE A WIKI PAGE!) (SI18)

After SI 18, I started to have fun with writing

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((_)()\(()((_|_))((_) )\ )((_))\   )(_)))\   /(/( (()\ )(_)) )\(_))((_) )\ /((_) 
_(()((_)((_|_) |_ (_)_(_/( (()(_) ((_)_((_) ((_)_\ ((_|(_)_ ((_) |_ (_)((_|_))   
\ V  V / '_| |  _|| | ' \)) _` |  / _` (_-< | '_ \) '_/ _` / _||  _|| / _|/ -_)  
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Before coming here, I was a super anxious writer. But slowly... I found joy in writing...!

Intimate Publishing (Second Year)

During the first individual assessment, Steve Rushton—an XPUB tutor for the ‘Reading, Writing and Research Methodologies’ seminar—told me ‘an invitation of intimacy’ seemed to be a recurring theme in my work. Since then, feeling quite content with this keyword, I have started to think of my practice through ‘intimacy’.

Thesis: Spark(l)ing Curiosities'·*:.。. .。.:*· ゚゚·* : Through Intimate Publishing 。. .。

During the second assessment, Winnie Soon—the external examiner—asked what constitutes intimacy to me. This question led me to research on Korean word for intimacy, "Chin-Mil-Gam (친밀감, 親密感)". Looking back, this question made me restructure my thesis around intimacy. The following list is an ongoing search for that question.

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Intimacy is a powerful feeling that can disarm our cold cold hearts.
Intimacy is a tactic to create an imaginary and temporary space.
Intimacy is a way to create a space for ‘us’.
Intimacy is a strategy to encourage caring minds and embrace otherness.
Intimacy is an ambivalent space, not only embracing positive feelings but also negative ones.
Intimacy is about practicing slowness.
Intimacy is about paying attention to the fragilities around us.
...

Chin-Mil-Gam(친밀감, 親密感), the Korean word for intimacy

In Korean, the word ‘intimacy’ can be translated into ‘Chin-Mil-Gam (친밀감, 親密感)’. Defined as ‘feeling or sense of being close and/or in close relationship’, the word is made with three Hanja—which refers to Korean words of Chinese origin: ‘Chin (親, close to)’, ‘Mil (密, dense)’ and ‘Gam (感, feeling)’. Feeling intrigued by these combinations, I closely looked into the Hanja dictionary for ‘Chin’ and ‘Mil’—two main characters containing the meaning of ‘intimacy’—specifically the list of derivative meanings for each word. In the list of ‘Chin’, there are ‘be close’, ‘love’, ‘become familiar’, ‘be skillful at’, ‘parents’, and ‘relatives’. In ‘Mil’ there are ‘dense’, ‘detailed, meticulous’, ‘be close’, ‘quite, innermost’, ‘hide’, ‘secret, private’, and ‘comfortable’. What grabbed my attention the most was the second character, ‘Mil’. How on earth does dense and packed end up meaning intimate? And my curiosity thrived.

What I mean by intimate Publishing?

‘Intimacy’ is an ambivalent and complex bundle of affects and desires that leave marks on people (impress), narrow the distance in-between, or push apart due to their emotional densities or other opaque desires. I wondered, what kind of dynamics and meanings would arise when ‘intimacy’ and ‘publishing’ meet.

Departing from famous XPUB course description, "XPUB focuses on the acts of making things public and creating publics in the age of post-digital networks", I define intimate publishing as ‘the acts of making intimate things public and creating intimate publics in the age of post-digital networks’. I wish to continue exploring this question through writing and intimate publishing in practice.

Intimate Publishing in Practice

1. whispering through the bread
2. Pocket Delivery
3. headphone tree
4. and many more...

See also: my personal list of intimate gestures

Graduation Project: Minor Stories

Minor Stories is a multi-method publishing project giving space to vulnerable and intimate feelings that people experience yet often brush aside. In this project, I intend to share vulnerable feelings in the format of storytelling and explore various intimate storytelling methodologies encompassing many forms: from physical props to digital technologies. By doing so, I will propose intimate ways of storytelling as a careful and affective publishing methodology, which I term ‘intimate publishing’. How will people react if I whisper stories of my ugly-competitive side through the body of bread? What kind of thoughts and emotions will occur if they read marginalized experiences from the gutter of a book? Will people open up and share their intimate stories as well? How can I disarm our cold, cold hearts and allow us to be more curious and caring? Can intimate publishing provide methods that shift audience and storyteller from a binary opposition of 'you' and 'me' to 'we' to make space for minor stories?

There are two core texts behind my graduation project Minor Stories. Minor Feelings (Hong, 2020) and Dear Science and Other Stories (McKittrick, 2021). Hong’s work is important since her text encouraged me to explore my vulnerable feelings through writing. On the other hand, McKittrick gave me the strength to stay curious and resilient. From her, I learned that ‘sharing stories is creative rigorous radical theory. The act of sharing stories is the theory and the methodology’ (emphasis in the original, Mckittrick 2021, p. 73).

small, clumsy, and intimate devices for awkward hybrid settings / with Erica Gargaglione

In-Between Media: Hybrid Tactics in the Crisis Era | Amsterdam @Framer Framed, meeting room | 10th March 2023, 12:45-15:45
This workshop was part of a two-day conference, In-Between Media: Hybrid Tactics in the Crisis Era

Workshop Description: Wait. How are hybrid settings actually affecting the way we sense others’ presence in public events? How can we bring intimacy when hybrid media interrupt instead of facilitating modes of togetherness? In this three-hour workshop, participants can build their own small, clumsy, and intimate devices to hijack the idea of hybridity. The devices will be physically built to be used during the following ‘plenary closing sessions’, both online and offline.

• https://pad.xpub.nl/p/awkward_hybrid_publishing
  [PAD for the workshop]
• https://networkcultures.org/goinghybrid/2023/03/30/workshop-clumsy-devices-for-awkward-hybrid-settings-conference-report-day-2/
  [The review of the workshop, written by Senka Milutinović]

Some thoughts 🤔 and highlights ⚠️

• Etherpad as a script for the workshop: Basically, we prepared the pad, which worked as a script for the whole workshop. Participants were invited to play different roles(ex. narrator, title, backgroundmusic, etc.).
• the power of creating an excuse, or a moment to share great(?) awkward anecdotes: one of the highlights was definetely when participants were asked to pick one awkward experience in attending hybrid events during COVID. By sharing funny, awkward, tragic, uncomfortable, sad moments together, I felt some sort of bonding was forming within the group.
• the magic of making small things with cheesy music: For the last part of the workshop, we all worked on building small, intimate and clumsy tools that could be used to face the awkwardness together. With the sudden March snow in the background, we were making tools while listening to Christmas-like music. It really felt like a holiday.

Street-Vendor Publisher / with Supi

[Today's Obsession(!!!): marshmallows and royal icing served on a cookie]

I loved how this person reacted/was eating the cookie. It captures the stickiness of the marshmallow.

Not Just A Fair 2023 | Arnhem @P--OST | 7 - 9th April

Two cooking-drawing-publishing amateurs join forces to amplify and share their obsessions for sugar-based materials as publishing ingredients. Today's Obsession(!!!): marshmallows and royal icing served on a cookie. 

How do we bind these obsessions together? With these keywords: affordable, accessible, DIY, DIWO, edible-adhesive, transformative, and festive! 

Curious to give these publications a taste? Push the button to collect a unique edible sculpture-drawing.

Some thoughts 🍪 and highlights ✨

• marshmallow as transparent glue: The interesting part of marshmallow for me was 1) different shades of color(white-golden-darker brown), 2) shininess, 3) opacity and transparency, 4) volume and lightness, and 5) streaks of sugar strands. I would like to bring the glue-sticky-feature of marshmallow forefront. [excerpts from DIYry with Supi]
• working together with Supi: I thought her way of working with cookies was amazing and inspiring because I felt that her goal was not necessarily on making these cookies appealing/delicious, but really on working with tools and materials. [excerpts from DIYry with Supi]

[Today's Obsession(!!!): sparkles and cookies](working title)

XPUB GRADUATION SHOW & SHOP | Rotterdam @Slash Gallery | 29th June - 2nd July

Two cooking-drawing-publishing amateurs join forces to amplify and share their obsessions for ____________ as publishing ingredients. Today's Obsession(!!!): __________ with a cookie. 

How do we bind these obsessions together? With these keywords: affordable, accessible, DIY, DIWO, edible-adhesive, transformative, and festive! 

Curious to give these publications a taste? Push the button to collect a loose cookie

Some thoughts 🍪 and highlights ✨

[This will be added after the ASSESSMENT and GRAD SHOW]

Hello, tomorrow is Wednesday and it's the Breakfast Club day ٩(^‿^)۶ / with grgr and many others

"The Breakfast Club (TBC)... is a collective morning ritual happening almost every Wednesday from 9:30-11:00 at the corner of XPUB studio. Its intention is to bring XPUB 2 together who will focus more on individual works for the upcoming year, but it's open to others. During TBC, we share coffee, have breakfast together, wake up, daydream and talk about STUFFS." (https://hub.xpub.nl/soupboat/breakfast-club/)

[FAQ.] Q. What is the STUFF we are going to talk about? Anything! Since it's a weekly thing, 'the STUFF' depends on what occupies our minds. If you are curious about what happened during the previous breakfast club(s)... so far, we read some excerpts of your favorite books or shared our struggles on a graduation project or writing a thesis. Oh, sometimes we didn't even talk that much and instead did dishes and cleaned the studio. We'd like to invite you to TBC also as an occasion to get to know each other, as it doesn't happen so often to meet up across masters. [excerpts from PIET, the zine made by PZI-Archipelago]

Some thoughts 🤔 and highlights☀️

some mashup of breakfast club posters

• making the weekly poster:Depending on the mood, or workload, either one of us, grgr or chae, made the weekly poster. it was the perfect excuse(?) for me to revisit all the pictures I took. Some of the constraints were... (1) use pictures in my album (mostly taken by me or grgr, but sometimes a picture by someone else) (2) do not open the computer (3) use telegram drawing tools, photo editing tools on your phone, or sometimes Instagram story editing tools to draw.

• What does it mean to build a habit?: Maybe a little bit of force is good: It's like right before you go to the gym, yoga, or swim... you know you would love it, but right before going, you think 'Ugh, I have other things to do... Maybe i can skip just this weekkkk....' But whenever I felt this way, erica would text me Tuesday night "hey, shall i make the poster?"

• when it's combined with outside(?) events/communities: Such as... (1)the International Trans ★ Feminist Digital Depletion Strike @VARIA (2) education morning with Lidia and Joseph (3) joined TBC, the breakfast club open for all the masters, together with PZI-Archipelago group

• I reflected a lot on what it means to host something every week involving others' participation. You cannot expect others to join every week. Some days are full, and some days not so much. Hmm, I don't know, sometimes I felt responsible to go to the studio, turning on the breakfast club lamp, and just being there.

• the importance/power of cleaning: Usually, when no one is at the studio I would start the breakfast club with cleaning.