User:Loes van Dorp/Thoughts Project

14 may

sentences for tent

In her work,Loes van Dorp is playing with space and time. She is experimenting how to show different times and different worlds in one image. In her last projects she shows how memory is something we always carry with us and how a space can reveal these memories. It plays with the unreliable nature of memories. Her work is a combination of drawings, animation and film.

This short animation film will visualize how a women deals with her memories, when returning to her childhood house after the death of her father.

titles:

• Getekend verleden
• Drawn to the past
• Drawn past

• Drawn Memories
• remember me
• Drawings of the past
• The present past
• Going back
• Father's house
• To get and forget
• House of Kees
• The House 'memory'

• Remember me

examples

Landschapsarchitect Ernst van der Hoeven en kunstenaar Frank Bruggeman en grafisch vormgever Samira Ben Lalouazijn de initiatiefnemers van Club Donny. Ernst van der Hoeven creëerde in 2011 de tuinsculptuur voor het Nederlands Paviljoen in de Biënnale van Venetië. Frank Bruggeman maakte in 2011 de solotentoonstelling Botanical Pleasure voor het Zeeuws Museum. Club Donny geniet in groeiende kring bekendheid als een origineel magazine over persoonlijke natuurervaringen in de stedelijke omgeving.

Ontwerper Samira Ben Laloua (Club Donny) is verbonden aan bureau Ben Laloua/Didier Pascal. Ze schrijft regelmatig interviews voor designtijdschrift Morf en Metropolis M.

Janine Schrijver is documentairefotograaf en doet in haar serie ‘Stories from the City’ onderzoek naar stadsparken in grote steden. In oktober verschijnt haar boek ‘Stories from the City’ bij NAi Publishers. Eerder maakte Schrijver onder andere foto-essays voor het boek ‘Pret’ van Tracy Metz en voor Dokument Nederland van het Rijksmuseum.

Het werk van fotograaf Wim van Egmond begeeft zich op het grensvlak tussen kunst en wetenschap. Van Egmond voer twee weken mee op VPRO’s Beagle en maakte opnames van microscopisch leven voor de kust van Tunesië. Zijn foto’s brengt hij bijeen in het ‘Micropolitan Museum of microscopic artforms’, een online archief van en over microscopische fotografie.

Wouter Venema studeerde Fine Arts aan ArtEZ, Arnhem en het Sandberg, Amsterdam. In het werk van Venema spreekt een melancholiek verlangen; in zijn zwart-wit beelden verstrijkt de tijd in onbestemde omgevingen. Zijn werk bestaat uit korte films, tekeningen en animaties, die zowel worden gepresenteerd in tentoonstellingsruimtes als op filmfestivals.

Traumatized Child drawings

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Paul Klee en Cobra--> children drawings

child drawing therapie [[1]]

child therapy booklist [2]

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23 april

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Buy blue tooth keypad for dragonframe, so I could work on my own too.

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Assessment comments

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Annette:

Thinking about open questions we still have, there are quit a few, we have the story line but we all had a lot of questions I think about what is the motivation and esspially to this second layer of memory and how this memories are beeing mediated through the glass and the choise of tool you want to use, the existing one and also the layer you wnat to introduce with the glas of frame you will walk around and I think there are st ill quit a few points that we see that need some thinking or expellenation. Where we are curious about because we think it is very important to talk about. Like you were almsot sayting that some of the memories are interchangeable but we think maybe th are not, you have a short story and itis very crusially in what you wnat to teel en where you want to go with this story and so the story line of the house is clea but the second layer is I thinkreally important.

Simon: We general felt that it is an interesting technique to explore and that you have been reearching and developping this pretty well and it has alot off potential and you have a kind of fram work to tell this story which in the haert of it has this disturbing memories. But I think that you are quit polite about that, you don't really dig into what those memories are and then you don't push that animation in response of that either. a sheet of glass you can do alot of things with , yu can smash and break it you can recohere this animation.When you think of the quee's and svankmeijer and even willima kentridge. William kentridge is politacally charged, it deal with the appratheid and the violence being a white man in south afrika in a very confrontational way. The ques really deal with the psygo sexually teritory which is kind of disterbing Svankmeijer the same , his ALice is really disturbing and about childhood fears and I gues the sexualisation of those fears is part of it. So it feels a bit polite , like there is a vacuum you don't want to get hold on in the middle of the project. It is circling, but you could really confront. What you want to make youre project about.

Steve: The real drama of the piece, the real motivation of the piece will be in the coontent what the memories are. we have a framework. We have the frame work, which is a lady going to a house there is a lot of material evidence which spark of memories but is the memories that should be the motivation.

Loes:

Than it should be one returning memory...

Anette: It could be that it increases in intensity for example.

Simon:

I think you could profitly do some research in the kind of ways people work with desterbed kids . You could ectually find sequences of drawings that the psygotherapist made with kids who are traumatiset in some way and how they often drift and circel around a memory but get closer slowly that is what we are missing. You have to persuate me if that women is going to sit down and have a panic attakc from something she sees on the window. Why is she having a panic attack

Loes: That is what I felt too when I told you tat: why is she panicing?

Barend: We can fill a lot of that in but you don't want to juxapose that and have us gues.

Anette: It is excatly that subconcious level that we are missing in the sotry now. The idea of Simon about this drawings is interesting because there is al ot of archetipical drawing with this kids which you have to do a lot of interpetation. Like abstract in a sense.

Simon: it is transformed but it contains the charge of pain or anxiety . And then you have something interesting going in terems of drifting beteween more positive drawings and more negative memories. If you start to really get hold of thos e memories.

Michael:I am fascinated , inpressed by your technique, but I don't know you that well, but I do remember that seeing your work at the open day and that really stayed in my mind. But somehow to play with the galss in the fact that glass can reflect is maybe interseting, maybe do soemthing more that used the fact that it gives you a way to draw soemthing . But also the fact that you are ding this kind of intesnive stop motion that ofcourse also opens up. The fact that you an play with time, that real time goos by really fast when you make a stop motion. If this somehow could interplay it seems like to make it really rich.

Annette:

I think it is used a mather of layers if it used stays on this glass mediated layer or if it really comes to some stronger interaction between the real .

Loes : There should be a real struggle, between those two.

Simon:

What is very interesting is that this, you are shining away from some sense of violence , which is in the middle iof your story and even the technique at the mometn you are using is quit politely, You can have her stand outside throwing painted glasses of memories on the floor. If you go back at svankmajer, what he captures the violence of childhood in memroies that they are shocking and then he tense to formally shocking us some way. The quallity of eins comes into the technique not only in the content. And that feels like you could push it.

Anette:

Why hould you use this glass frame you are holding rather than only the object trouwve kind of aprroach that you use the glass and the reflections of the elements in the house that might trigger the memory. and that are there already.

Loes:

Because she chooses to be confronted with them and if you wnat to be in control that youwant to have the window yourself. And not just somewhere on different places in the house. Because than she can't control where she wants to look at.

Michael: Love the technique but why is she walking around with this glass, it becomes such a kind of artificually. Narratively it doesn't make sense.

Steve: The keything about this memories is she is not in controll of them and that is theviolence and that is the drama. She needs to be out of control.

Barend:

For her to be in the end to confront conciousley, in the beginning she is vconfronted with these memories that she walks away from or destroyes by throwing away the glass, but once she figger out, litterarely the glass is the window to her memory . Also the long drink glass on the table. And she sees this glass pain somewhere lying around that is like going into a dark space where you are afraid of with a flashlight and saying okee I overcome this.

The risk that doesn't become clear narratively that is a challenge. I still think that is a usefull idea to have the charachter turn thi thing around and conciously going back into the space that she flad from.

Michael:

I think it is clear but it seems really artificual.

Simon: If she finds a half broken window and that she would pick that up. The risk is if you take her through the house as an audiance for your animation, your using her as a proxy for us where there is no resistence build in and I think it is the lack of resistance that he finds a plain of glass and that makes you feel that she is used as proxy. Wich has to do with the resistnace and violence .confronting what the story is about. You can push it further.

Steve: Because than you loose her motivation because she is leterally behind the plain of glass, she needs to be connected. as if the glass wasn't there.

Simon: I totally see what you are saying but I thin that one of the things that could happen naratively is that you can set things up in such a way that you no longer feel this as artificually. You could insert that artificiellity into. in a certain way . If she is in the .... of this thousand of plains of glass and finally picks one up than you would go with that.

Annette : Than it makes narratively sense.

Simon: Everything is very unresistent at the moment. I think thats it.....the problem. I think the good news, because it probably sounds like a lot of critisism . That actually most of it is about taking what you are doing further. There is not a sound bases to the project, youre not yet letting yourself go as far as. I think that has soething to do with really confronting.

Loes;

That is funny, because that is where the story is about. That she has a hard time confronting. I am not liking the confrontaion either....

SimonOne way to approach it is to push it much much further, That is what horror cinema does a lot there is a really interesting film about childhood memories about parent , possibly obusive parents, parent become basically canibals so it becomes a kind of a horror filmn where basically the childs memory is that his parents are eating people and it is really disturbing and it captures brialliantly this ideau of disfunctionll family, But it takes it like 500 procenbt further and therefore becomes a huge kind of horoor film. It captures the sphere of disfunciotn, excaturation. I wonder if you shouold exacurate and then pull back. What would be the most extreem version of the film you would make, what would the father do.

Annette: I also think it is nice if there is space for interpetation for the viewer, this athmosphere needs to be really

Barend; You need to tell me hat you want to hint at

Simon: if you would be totally explicit and literal what would the father do and than pull back a bit....

Tutorial with Vincent meessen

http://pzwart.wdka.nl/fine-art/2012/03/23/screening-at-worm-with-guest-tutors-vincent-meessen-and-sophie-berrebi/

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20 april

After tutorials with Simon, Aymeric and Barend

Simon: The women needs something to do in the house, not only wondering around to see memories. Why is she there? She needs to have a job there and during this she will find the memories. Bringing in boxes, clean the house.

It would be good to have somebody to help me with the light, a cinematographer.

Is the film stop motion, made out of pictures, or are the frames of a film dropped? What would you like to do?

Aymeric

Figure out how the woman finds out that it is through glass that the memories appear. Give a hint for the people. It is a normal girl ( not business women, it is to clice and to obvious and distracting)

It is through glasses the memories appear. First abstract. Childhood with bad memories about the dad. Whenever the father comes in, she wants to escape, or does not want to remember him and leaves the space or the object.

There is a crisis, she sees him everywhere, breaks something.

Then there is a moment of contemplation, plays with the glass. Maybe the hand of the father reach for her and tkae her too the memories to let her she that they were nice.

Barend ( recorded this tutorial, so A bit more elaborated than the others are..)

The action ( looking through the mail, touching stuff) and the way how she does it has to show something about her.

Make sure you feel that it is a mans house.

About the light. Working with longer shutter will do something with the balance between dark and light. Not having to work with two shutters: ND filter, will let less light through windows.

Alternative for letting her taking the window. Because it is not clear for us why she is taking that window with her when you see the memories on all other windows. Let her walking around in the room is a visual thing you want to do and it is nice idea that the glass makes the memory visual. It is like a glasses ( bril) The direct link with the other glass earlier in the story is not directly clear, only when they photographed are from the outside to the inside. unless you use the outside space as a place where the memory takes place. That makes the concept more clear. Maybe it is not a big deal. But I would expect that the memories take place on the spot where the window is facing. Try to keep this consistent, or you can make pictures from the outside to the inside.

Is it a mirror? Or is it looking back through glas..... Maybe you do not have to be that strict.

If you are able to use every glass surface ( drinking glasses) will it be conceptual stronger. So something that she first puts away or breaks she will after realizing that she is to curious and want to see it, wants to go back with something that shows her something. ( Like in a cave a flashlight, going back with flashlight after being scared of the dark) You can make this clear by showing from the beginning that glass will give her the memory. And se will be scared by what she sees.

If it is also on a mirror as on glass than it is conceptual more clear.

If you use a child drawing in the end for her to take with her, would be a nice way to explain the drawn memories.

She has a bad memories and gets rid of it ( break it ), confronted later with a normal memory makes her think back about that time and she doesn't want to have memories at all. There will be a moment that she overcomes her fear.

so:

• introduction of the memories appearing,
• than Panic reaction ; breaking the glass
• than memory which is not bad but still wants not to be confronted with it.
• Than a moment of contemplation, to give the character space for transition.
• She is curious, she wants to know. Where she first pushes a memory away for the second time, does she want to go back.
• Than she takes a glass and puts it in front of the window to get back to that memory she saw on it
• and than she will walk around in the space, going back to those memories she had before to see them finished. To her panic moment, to confront herself with it.

Where does the glass come from. Use a glass of a 'wissellijst' which she takes?

Start of the film:

• Details of the house in time lapse. To see it empty and light changing. Close ups. Open book, thee cups e.d.
• you hear a car coming and maybe see it through the glass of a window.

Doesn't have to be explicit, you can work with much closer shots and suggestions, not everything very visible. Picture everything more tight, not in wide shots.

Low angles, back light

You do not have to show everything what people do. For instance, after you heard the car coming, you can cut to the women coming in.

Unless the way how see opens the door tells something more than just opening the door. For the character opening the door will a difficult/important moment. Maybe a hesitation is visible. a shot of the face.

She has a lot of boxes and will give you the feeling of alienation. Make sure that you see that she knows the surrounding, she is not totally stranger in the house.

Maybe use some childhood pictures, baby father pictures.....

Technique.... Filming and dropping frames, or all in stop motion?

Filming and dropping frames will give an other feeling to the movement... If you do stop motion, you have to move slow motion.

Stop motion doesn't give motion blur and you can picture the out of balance moment when walking. This will make the movement different.

Long scenes doing stop motion will cost a lot of time to write away the information.

Whatever works for you...it will save you a lot of time when filming, although it might feel like sheeting.

You have to walk slowly, to avoid motion blur. You also walk differently when doing it slow.

If you can make it less complicated for yourself, you should consider it.

BUying or borrowing a camera..... Check which students have one you can borrow.....

17 april

Thinking about the end.

• It should end positive. The main memory will be about her father and mother fighting. and her and her mother leaving, while her father ignored her and didn't kiss her goodbye.
• Maybe in the end she will draw her father in the door opening waving her goodbye. She leaves the window while getting in the car and wave her father goodbye for the last time.
• Or she will change a memory which we have seen before into something good....
• During the story she will remember herself drawing a picture for her father. And now she finds the drawing in the kitchen. He saved the drawing all those years.....She will take this drawing with her.
• Where-ever the window is over the reality, the drawing can interact with the objects.
• Are there pictures of her? When see was small? together with her father? her mother torn from the image.

12 april

Barend tutorial

• How do you explain visually the relation between the women and the house? This should be tangible.
• As Actor you must make this really concrete, without making it to explicit visually.
• For sale sign maybe already in the beginning of the film, subtle not to obvious.
• Positive experience, it made her two what she is now.
• Think about what you want to tell

Conversation with Karin

• She has the key. Does she have it with her? Or in a envelope of her Notary with the key in it? The house is inheritance of her father

• Walking through the old house of my grandmother changed the view I had of her. She was really strict. But by walking through the house in places I wasn't allowed to come as a child, I was confronted with a Grandmother I didn't know and I felt sad about that, because I had a lot of questions and would have loved to know the other person better. You can use this in the project, that there is one memory that rules all the others. She remembers the abuse as if this was what he always did, but finds out it was just one occasion. This got blown up by selective memory and stories from her mother and others about him.

• In the beginning when she is touching an object and she is not aware of the memory, it might be good to show the connection between those two. For instance, when she is picking up an object this object also appears in the window animation. This way people see the connection and will understand sooner that the drawings are part of her.

• Maybe she finds that he had pictures of her, or cherished objects she made for him ( drawings. ed. ) and starts to realize that he did care about him. And now it is to late.

• Starring the Mazda mx5 of my boyfriend!

11 april

Tutorial Karel Doing

• death plants, to make the place looking abandoned.
• Woman is really in fight with the drawing physical. She starts with being a tied up business woman and in the course of the story she will get less neat and her ice queen mask will melt, Somewhere near the end there must be an escalation in this fight.

Because me being the woman and the creator of the painted drawings, will give an extra layer, because the woman will get smutty before she ever touched the memory psychically.

• Extra strong lights? In order to keep the sharpness, the high depth of field.
• In the end she will take the window with her? to keep the memories, to cherish them instead of destroying them.
• Playing with the time by shooting some scenes reversed ( so instead of breaking something, it will get mended)

• maybe one room will not be able to open, or she doesn't want it to open. She runs downstairs before it got the change.
• Wind through the room when she pulls out the window?

• Exhibition, how to show it?
• Imitate an room of the old house? So you enter the old house as public?
• a miniature?

night writing

• What secret does she carry with her?
• By her body language you see that the women doesn't look forward going in the house. She takes a deep breath.
• Does she nervously search for the key? No ! She is a well organized woman, who does like to have control over situations.
• The house is from her childhood, she has lived there with her parent. They are divorced.
• Is her mother abused by her father? Did they escape together from her dad. Leaving him alone and only return in the house after he past away?
• protected by her mother
• What does she not want to know? Maybe it is easier for her to see her father as a monster and by walking through the house she finds that she has been to selective in her memory, that there were good things about her father which got screamed over by this bad memory.
• She is denying the unconditional love for her father.
• being torn between her father and mother, not being able to choose? Or she only choose for one and left the other forever.
• A lot of Mail in the postbox or in house.
• for sale sign

10 april

One person, one screen. See *sketches installation For the ideas how to do this.

Had some problems with getting the drawing on the foreground and the space behind it in focus. Should try to find a way that will give me more depth of field. Which camera/lenses? And I really need a good working camera in combination with dragon stop motion.

Maybe the one I rented from school last year. Have to reserve it before it is gone!

The story has to develop more. Thinking about how to introduce the screen as memory filter and where the story starts.

Still insecure about it, but I feel I get somewhere. Want to have some tests done before the assessment.

And I found out that the white board markers are not dark enough and thick enough, so I should try to find better ones. or consider using oil-paint again...

Fore the script development go to this page: *Script 'Memory'

tonight Watch the others and 6th sence again. to research which memories stay in the places to hunt persons...

9 April

Okee, Still a bit scared to start though....

Writing a script while being afraid that I the story I want to tell, is not a story I am allowed to tell, because this is not how I ever experienced the world.....

But why am I thinking that it should be about real things what happened to me? Why does it feel like telling lies????

This afternoon I will go and experiment in the house. Do more constructive thinking. But first write some more of the story and thinking how to show it. And what I want to show.

Synopses of the story:

A women visiting her childhood house. It is were she was born, grew up, her parents got divorced and her father died, alone... She is saying goodbye to the house, walking through it for the last time. Memories come and go.Good Memories are alternated by bad ones. The bad ones she rather not remember and she changes them into something less bad or pushes them away replacing them for a nice memory. It ends with her, packing last small things in an old suitcase and walking away leaving the house behind her. There is a 'for Sale' sign in the garden. She doesn't look over her shoulder.

The memories are drawn upon a screen which the woman carries with her. The screen shows the colored view of the woman. The filter shows how we see the world through our experience. Everything we have seen and experienced before will color it.

Not all the time the screen is there. It comes in now and then. Interacts with the real world, by moving things like closing the curtain.

How is the screen connected with the woman?

Is it a screen she holds and we than some in onto it and she it while she is holding it in her hands (like in Paper memories, the picture is hold by the old man)

Will it be with her when she leaves, or does she leave it behind, next to the for sale sign?

8 April

Okee... time for something constructive. It doesn't even feel that bad, I do not feel lost, the opposite. I feel free again, floating on the possibilities. I did some thinking while playing and that helped a lot.

I edited the photo film of the location and will go and think while drawing. Draw some different memories related to the rooms.

With which room should I start? I think I will first draw and play with the different memories fighting over there accuracy....

I start with the bedroom and try to think how the drawing interacts with the space, opens doors, push furniture around, breaking things..

some questions and answers concerning my project

• why do I want to have multiple screens?

Because I wanted to show the different memories of the same space, from different people. But now I do not know anymore if I want to do this. At the moment I will start with one persons memory in the space but keep it open for changes, additional methods. It is good to build the table, because I can use it either with just one screen or with several.

• Why on a table and not as big screens?

During the masterclass animation I made in Tilburg I worked on a smaller surface is much easier and faster than with the big frame.So in order to keep the work flow going, it is better to work smaller and closer to the camera.Using white board markers is much friendlier than using oil paint. Less struggle as possible, because the project will cost enough effort as it is already .

• Should the table be locked to the camera? This will give an other image than the big frame moving in the space.

As I see it now, will this give more piece and rest to the image. As long as I make the plexiglass moveable on the table it is not a problem. But now I think about telling a story with a protagonist in it, whos memories it are, maybe the screen should not be locked with the camera.

• Should there still be a protagonist pushing this thing around? Showing us the memories?And influence the memories?

I think so. I think it is easier to understand that it is about memories when you see the person showing it to us.

• Is there sound. a voice over or music?

Maybe only one side of the story is told and the other layers are showed visually, or the animation show semthing different than what there is told. Shows the hidden parts of the memory, to make it dramatic and interesting

6 April

⟳↻⟳↻⟳ BIG TURN ↻⟳↻⟳↻⟳↻⟳↻

Change of scenery

Lets not stay captured in editing sound which will not provide the blueprint for the project. Give it a Turn by returning to the idea where you started with.

Where did you wanted it to be about?

Think about the multiple layers of memory you wanted to give a space.

Look again to Niles Atallah's animation, which brought me there in the first place.

• User:Loes van Dorp/Things I am looking at

The more suggestive, provocative and drama it has the more it will communicate.

The interview sound you have now are not dramatic enough, there is not enough friction.

It doesn't mean that you will not use the interviews anymore. You can use the interviews as inspiration in this new turn or let them come back later....

Sound can say something different than the image does, this will make it more subjective.

It feels like walking in rounds looking for a straight path which will bring me to the center. Like a labyrinth, or being stuck on a roundabout. But hey, what else is new...... Been there done that, should be used to this by now.......

But I do not feel very bad about it, but I am just afraid to start. Afraid of not being able to find it......Afraid to fail....

2 April

After listening to the previous soundscape with Timo, we came to the conclusion that it is hard to recognize voices if they come in again and that by mixing all the stories, the relation between two people is not longer sensible.

So therefore I made another mix where I tried to mix it in a way that the memories would go from one set of person to the other, without mixing people who are not related as much as I did in the one of 1 april. This time with different footage, but maybe I will remix the footage from 1 april again more like this..... It might be a bit too long to animate, but I will try to put some images with it to see how sound and image work together.

see the sound page to listen to the results

• sound editing

29 march

Tutorial with Barend:

Do not forget what the project is about. It is about subjectivity and collectivity of the memory.

It is not reality but truth where you are looking for in the project. You are not making a documentary.

It is the truth intensified. Bringing it in a new context, finding a new truth.

A interesting question: what is true and what is reality?

Try to make a sound-scape and leave parts quiet to be able to let the image speak.

'De trap als kapstok voor de verhalen.'

I have a lot of stories about stairs: being pushed from the stairs, jumped of it, fall down from it , climbing it or remembering it.

I will start with the edits I have on this subject and try to build a interesting 3 minutes sound-scape out of that.

Try to keep the air in the story, do not make it to subjective. Try to make it fragmented, and untouchable not to concrete, in between lines.

• Layered

The screen installation must be workable and not to big, considering the time it will take to make the animation on the three screens.

It also will take a lot of planning to get the timing of the focus of the camera work with the story.

I have to work fast now. Ready to storyboard by the end of this week.

To have myself in the image I could also use the reflection of the glass. This will be another layer on top of the layers.

Location

I have found a location where I can work on this project.

It is in a empty house of good friends of mine. The man who lived there (Kees) died a couple months ago and is has the same weird emptiness, sadness and quietness as my grandfathers house I used in 'Portrait of an empty house'.

Nothing is going on there and I am allowed to work there coming months. Electricity, water and everything is still working.

If the weather allows it I can even go outside. The garden and the space around it are pretty and privet property, so I can work without beeing disturbed.

• location

to do

• Make a new design for the installation, contact Stock about this.
• Edit the sound while maybe already do a bit of storyboarding
• Make test animations on glass to find the right material to draw with and to experiment with the changing of the focus

Material

• Find out how to get a good camera and laptop. Should I buy it? rent it? What are the possibilities with renting stuff from school or other rentals.

The camera has to be able to work with dragon stop-motion and the laptop should be able to have dragon stop motion installed.

28 march

Sketches multi screen installation

Sketches of Simons explanation

Sketches of Stock and me trying to get to a model

Sketches after seeing the inspiration. Maybe It doesn't have to be as big, because I want as less as construction works like iron rails blocking the view of the camera. So maybe a table where the glass is only connected at the bottom I am going to talk with Barend about this tomorrow.

27 march

Tutorial Simon today:

We came till a great idea, something that will be in line of my last project. There I played around with one screen and this time it might be interesting to use for each point of view of the story a separate frame.

So I will have max. three screens with stories drawn on it and the camera will alternate the focus between the screens. Kinda like the multiplane camera, but than bigger and shot sidewards instead from above.

• sketches installation

Speaking about the different stories in one image made me think about the film Timecode from Mike Figgis where the screen is split into four screens. You see different point of views and the important parts for the story is accampied with sound. The rest of the screens just went one with out sound. This is the only thing I remember of the film. I do not know the story, I only know I found it a refreshing way of looking at one story. I was very suprised by that effect.

It is a long time ago I saw this movie. I was 17 or 18 and visiting London where we went randomly to a cinema and This film was showed and there was even an artist talk in the end. I do not remember the story line or what was asked to Mike Figgis. Simon reminded me the title and because it has a connection with what I am going to do, I will watch it again more closely.

• Link via Tomas special fx via glas paintings.... very cool indead. You do not even notice...

special effect painting on glass

• history special ffx animation: [3]

inspiration images:

26 march

Tutorial Aymeric.

DO NOT GET LOST IN DETAILS

Try to focus on the location, subject and story.

Try to find a common thing to connect the different memories. Like a story about a balloon of one person and than it goes into an other small story where the balloon is in too. Try to find one space where it takes place ( stairs, sleepingroom e.d.)

Later dive more into the story for details. Do not cut that much than you loose the dynamics of the spoken words.

See if you can make it into one bigger story or els try to make several shorts..

my problem

My problem with rewriting about my project is that I do not know if I am going to use this screen thing and do not know yet how to animate it.....Its really hard to not be in control yet......

My planning will be more tight now. Working till late, get up early.

Dillemma Should I save time or money? ( should I go by train or by bike?)

The weather is great and it will make me feel good, but will make me very tired and loose a lot of time by cycling a lot.... What should I do??????

Monday Tuesday Wednesday

• Write in the morning from 7 houre till 8.45
• than get on my bike to the train of 9:04 at 10:00 at school.
• edit sound, have tutorials
• 18.37 train home ( or sooner to Den Haag at Wednesday)

Thursday, Friday

• morning working at home
• afternoon working for money
• Study on the evening

Saturday

• working at home, home related stuff, buying food e.d.

Sunday

• study home till 12.30
• 13.04 train Rotterdam Sound We See

25 March

In need for some tutor advise.

Feels like time is slipping away to fast...

I have moments where I feel waisting my time, alternated with euphoric feelings. I feel a little manic.

High tops and deep downers.. ( hoge toppen diepe dalen )

I did annotate and some sound editing today, instead of joining in on the SoundweSee project. Is better for my feeling of rest to be able to use this whole day for my own things.....

But if I used this time well is not really stated. Yes the annotation is good, and yes some sound things I am happy about...

Time for some advise, because next week I want to start thinking through the story and the week after I want to make it......

Time to let it get its shape, and thats making me nervous.

While writing about my project 'Portrait of an empty house' I considered redoing this piece in a proper way, so it can be a beautiful animated story.... But maybe that is not good to do now..and I need an empty house..... ( maybe in Kees his house...)

Back to listening and organizing sound again. Tomorrow tutorials and in the evening annotating and writing! Lets use this time!!!

Some nice words I wrote while annotating:

The past is present

Maybe a good tittle???

22 March

About my work.... let me think....

Maybe that I like the magic of animation and playing with different realities in one image. I prefer working in a way that sort of reveals the process of the making, but without losing the magic of the illusion of life.

20 march

Springtime! Hell Yeah! Back on my bike!!!!

Finished editing my first try out thing, now I have too find out how to put a audio file on the wiki.... Try to get that done today, so I can send this to the tutors to listen to it...

It is more then six minutes long now, but it probably will be less when looking and hearing at it again later this day/week.

It feels good again, I can smile again....

Now I have the urge to do this with all the interviews, but that will be a one year project. Maybe something to go on with after graduation. Or work so F%^%&king hard that i will be able to make at least a series of two ( or three) But probably my enthusiasm makes me overconfident and not seeing the time as sharp en short as it is.

Now I get on my bike and cycle in the sun to Rotterdam! Get movement in my body and brain!

And than start writing!!! Heel yeah, this will be a productive day after all!!

Thomson and Craighead tutorials: http://www.thomson-craighead.net/

Tutorial today ! Some new names I have to look at. It is nice to talk to people who do not know your work,

My work is about :

• revealing the process ( but what else? There is probably more behind this)

• Work Labor, Time

• markmaking

• try to answer the question why am I in it? What is interesting about me being in it?

• Is about the use of material

• Think about youre audience, for who are you making the work and how do you ideally want to show it?

Some names to look at:

• David Shrigley,
• semiconductor
• Dryden Goodwin
• Robert Breer

Sound designing is not composing music.

16 March

After the tutorial with Barend, I felt a bit more secure again. Looking forward to work on the project.

Instead of over-thinking , I have to follow my intuition. I am going to make a sound collage of the interviews I recorded. By taking out parts I find interesting and putting them together in a random order.

My project is about subjectivity of the memory and I am not making a documentary! (although it felt Like I was going to that direction)

I can make several hints of content and try to work on it like I did with the observation Animation. Fragments and poetic an d in that way creating a new reality. .

Incomplete, fragmentary and subjective, contradictions.

Things do not have to relate, because the brain will search for an connection

Not linear or logically.... work on feeling..

I listened to 5 interviews now and wrote them all out. But how I am going to do it now is to edit while listening. Because just listening and typing the text out makes me feel like I am wasting my time.

Next week I want to have a soundtrack of max five minutes. Not using all the interviews, maybe just start with two persons....

To do:

Install adobe premiere again (where did I put that disk..? ... can´t remember!!! argh)

edit!!!!!!! according to my time schedule I had to bee done with animating by now and working on my sound. Seems like I am working the other way around now.

Looking forward to it, but first have to work for money, write for the deadline and party for fun!

13 march

O his is the moment I am getting nervous and start feeling really insecure about my project....

the feeling that I have been wasting my time in a search to nothing......

I am waiting for that magically feeling of the pieces falling in the right spot...... waiting and waiting....

Maybe I should just have been writing a story myself which visualizes my theory. Than I would have been more in control than I am at this moment. I feel like I am standing still, not moving forward but going back.....Wishing I had more time and using it in a more efficient way.......

Uselesss!!!!

I still have to listen to the text of a lot of people and I have the urge to write it all down to get grip on it, but maybe that is a waist of time aswell.....

AAAARRRRGGGGGG

lets make something this weekend.. just to get out of my head........ Lets try to make an animatic where the voice over tells a story but the drawings tell something different..... Lets see how that works.... I have to make something or else I think I will get mad...... I am getting mad......

Mad mad mad

advice of Daan: write down where you think it went wrong and what you wanted to do with your project. Where you think you are and where you want to go....

Maybe I am to inpatient but not having anything psysically now makes me nervous and unhappy and makes me not seeing where it is going.....

I wish already had something to show to Barend tomorrow......

But lets write tonight and fall assleep with a lighter heart..

9 march

During a recording session with my parents yesterday, I found out that the differences in the memories of people who experienced soemthing together aren't that big. I am afraid that this recordings will not give me something I can work with.

I do not feel comfortable about this project anymore. I get insecure and feeling the urge of running away from it as hard as I can. But instead I sleep a lot and shift my focus to my other duties.

Lets not give up!!!!

Because during that same recording, my parents spoke about my uncle. He is autistic and is the youngest brother of my father. My parents took him in, to help out his mother. She was not capable of taking care of him. So my parents had lots of memories about him.

My dad gave me a big pile of notebooks with years of communication between my parents and the school where Richard ( my uncle) was placed.

This weekend Richard is staying at my parents house and my father wanted to talk with him about the old house, grandfathers house, which is sold now. And about the death of there father a couple months ago.

Richards seems to have trouble accepting this big changes, although he didn't visit the house for years anymore.... He is very scared of getting hurt and doesn't want to speak about death. He doesn't want to die. And he can't handle it when things are broken.

I will be there to record this conversation and maybe ask Richard to tell me some memories.

My project is about different point of views of an event, and an autistic person really sees the world very differently. Maybe this will give my project the contrast it needs......

21 February

For real project: Real space combining the theatrical piece.

Event/ Subjects for interviews:

• Father
• Mother

• Funeral
• marriage

Or about a space?

• How did your room look like?
• What did you do on the loft?
• What do you know of your childhood house?

• Your saddest memory
• Your happiest memory

I decided that I had to find a lot of family structured people and find per family a couple subjects/events where they have something to say about.

See Participants & Schedule

18 February

I haven't been writing down things lately, although the project gets more developed, small staps forward and big steps back.

A bit stuck in my head, I decided (again) to start making things, going out to get material and then play with that.

creauture comforts is one of the things that got me to think about the possibility of using recorded stories as core of my memory project.

I Have been thinking about this before, but sometimes it is good to take a step backwards in order to get on the right path.

What I will do now is:

Find people who want to cooperate.

Make a good question/subject list

Find a good strategy for getting the best interview result.

Recording couples talking together about the same thing, but also think about the possibility to mix different stories into one to make my own story.

Creatur comforts Making of

31 januari

Gebakken mannetjes: [4]

Filmfestival gekeken films.

Orkater theater herinneringen museum: [5] [6]

18 januari

walt-disneys-multiplane-camera

17 Januari

Spoke with Simon Yesterday about my project.

30 December

• Piotr Dumala Notes

24 nov

Three storyboard sketches are on this page, as well as the first drawings of the girl character:

User:Loes_van_Dorp/drawings

23 nov

interaction with the drawing like La Linea, but then less gimmick?

21 nov

Be clean, less noisy!

Liz

Hotel Modern Hotel Modernis a theater production who use a lot of minature and small camera's to perform life on the set. They have very inspiring projects.

17 November

• Good ideas always come when I am in motion. Running, cycling, training (as sitting in the train).

• At this moment I still do not have a location to experiment with, to base my research of general history upon.

To be able to try some stuff out and think with my hands, I really need a space other than my studio. I did write to some organization and probably will be able to use an old empty school in Leiden: St Josef school.

• While waiting I want to stay productive and therefore had this great idea while sitting in the train.

I do own a doll house! Why not use a miniature as place to practice. A doll house is already revering to the past because it is something I had when I was little. If it works properly, I might even use this element in the film. Playing with scale is something I have been interested in for a long time... Let's try this out and see what comes out of it!

My passion for stop-motion miniature animation might be able to grow into something usable.

I think that besides drawing as my core, small worlds and puppets and the crafts of creating them and give them live is also a part of my core, but maybe not as developed.

• DOLL HOUSE

The story behind this doll House is very funny and weird. My father and I bought it at a second hand store ( kringloopwinkel) When I was around 8 years old. I decoraded it again with my mother, using sample pieces of an wallpaper shop book. We also went to a doll house store, where we bought paper for on the floor that looked like a wooden floor and also some dollhouse carpet. I saved my money to buy the puppets and made a lot of decoration myself.

Because my collection of furniture became very big, my dad builded an other floor for it so it had 6 rooms instead of 4.

In my graduation year of the KABK I shot a serie of photo's in the doll house with my pet mouse.

These are pictures I still really like and like to show. ( as you can see on my front page )

Two years ago my mother and father went to my brothers grilfriends (Nancy) parents. They showed a lot of pictures of Nancy when she was little and they found out that the doll house they bought for me years ago was made by the father of Nancy (my brothers girlfriend). ! How funny is that!!!!

• For now I am trying some stuff out with the big screen.

It is funny that I always come into the studio with a plan, but as soon as I start, I forget about that and improvise. Maybe that is the way of working what fits me the best. William Kentridge way of working is similar. He comes in the studio with one image and let the drawings and hands do the thinking.

Link to my storyboard

• There is no One truth

I also asked my parents and brother to tell their memory of the ones I wrote down and I already have fn reading them and the different interpretation they had.

6 november

• Associatief memory, Memory comes in fragments.

Objects are connected and deformable.

Thinking about a way to reveal just parts of different memories by using objects who start the memory.

Write down different memories and use one to focus on. Think through making.

a normalday is stuffed with memories, everythingyou do is because of things you did before or did not do before.

Youre brain automates a lot of processes you need to do when cycling or walking, typing, reading.

• Everything is connected.

Find a way to connect this different memories

Innerworld and outside world combined is how people perceive and therefor everybody conceives things differently.

• The after image.

How can I show the load of memory people carry with them all the time...

How can I show what goes on in poeples head.

2 november

• I mailed the director of Old-Poelgeest with questions about the jagerswoning.

Geachte Heer P.V. Hofweegen,

Na aanleiding van telefonisch contact met Oud-Poelgeest, werd mij aangeraden via de mail contact met u op te nemen. Mijn naam is Loes van Dorp en ben woonachtig in Oegstgeest. In 2006 ben ik afgestudeerd als beelden kunstenaar aan de KABK te Den Haag. Op dit moment zit ik mijn laatste jaar van mijn Master studie Lens-based Media aan het Piet Zwart Instituut te Rotterdam. Deze Master is gericht op film, fotografie en animatie. Voor mijn afstudeer-project wil ik me gaan focussen op gebouwen en hun herinneringen/geschiedenis en onderzoek ik hoe ik dit het beste kan laten zien. Door middel van het combineren van een animatie techniek en film, probeer ik gebouwen een persoonlijkheid te geven met een eigen verhaal en verleden. Afgelopen jaar heb ik een filmpje gemaakt waarin ik deze techniek uitprobeer. Via deze link: http://vimeo.com/25672828 kunt u de schets bekijken.

In mijn zoektocht naar gebouwen met een geschiedenis welke geschikt zijn om te portretteren, herinnerde ik mij het Jagershuisje. Al jaren heb ik het jagershuisje gepasseerd en ben altijd al benieuwd geweest naar zijn geschiedenis. Mijn vraag aan u is of u wat in het idee ziet om het Jagershuisje te laten portretteren en of u in de mogelijkheid bent hem beschikbaar te stellen voor het uitvoeren van mijn film/animatie? Verder vroeg ik mij af of er een archief is over de geschiedenis van dit huisje? Bijvoorbeeld verhalen/documenten over de families die er hebben gewoond. Ik hoop dat u iets voor mij kunt betekenen.

Indien u vragen heeft of meer informatie wilt hebben kunt u ook telefonisch contact met mij opnemen. Alvast heel erg bedankt voor uw tijd. In afwachting van uw reactie verblijf ik met vriendelijke groet,

Loes van Dorp 0614409392

answer

Geachte mevrouw van Dorp,

De jagerswoning is ooit gebouwd als kapel door de heer Gerrit Willink. De eerste steen verwijst hier nog naar. Er is wel onderzoek naar gedaan. Dan kunt u het beste terecht bij mevrouw Rink, historica te Sassenheim.

Via google is zij te traceren. Er is niet zo heel veel documentatie over. Een foto met de jager en zijn familie, gefotografeerd vanaf de kwaakbrug is alles wat ik mij herinner.

Ik kan echter geen toestemming verlenen om binnen te filmen. Het staat u vrij om de kapel/jagershuis van buiten te filmen.

Met vriendelijke groet,

Peter van Hofweegen Directeur Kasteel Oud-Poelgeest

Poelgeesterweg 1 2341 NM Oegstgeest

Postbus 1145 2340 BC Oegstgeest

T 071 517 4224 M 06 2468 40 58 E p.v.hofweegen@oudpoelgeest.nl I www.oudpoelgeest.nl

31 October

• De daltons, child serie...' Nieuwe Buren'

part one part from 9.17

part two till 2.17

In this episode the boy walks in the empty house of the neighbors who just moved out after one of them died. While walking in the house he imagined how and where the neighbor could have died.

A way to project the imagination of the brain into the space.

• fantasy and memory

What is real and what is made up by the brain?

30 October

Memory: What triggers a memory to appear? A smell, an object, a space. Or is memory there all the time? What we remember and what we forget forms us who we are and how we will response on situations in the future.

Why should the memories to use be bad, can't they be happy? Or is it a matter of using both in the right balance... Isn't it easier to remember the nice things of the past? I tend to forget the bad things. For example, I went hiking every year with the scouts. Every year I was very eager to go again, only to find out that I forgot about the negative things during these hikes.

Which way to go with this interest?

• Autobiographical,

use my own memory as starting point for a fiction.

Use My own memory as the story

• Bigger history about a building,

using its archives and imagination to create a story.

• Use the same location/space, but several generation talking about there memory of that place.

In the town where my grandmother lives, my aunt grew up there and still lives there as well as her daughter(my cousin) and her grand daughter. so that are four generations I could work with.

• One event, two sides of the story, both rel but contradicting... rashomon like, what to believe

Places to use

• Old police station Leiden
• Jagerswoning Oud Poelgeest, oegstgeest
• Home Kees in Voorhout

The use of Time

• Past, present future
• Real time v.s. time of creating.

Brainstorm 9 October

What I like about memory is how little we know about the function and how important it is for creating a personality. How easy memory is manipulated and how memories of the past will be adjusted by experience in the future. For example: When I was around 7 years old I was walking to school in the morning, I saw to cats fighting. There was one little one and the other one was very big and obvious stronger than the little one. Te small one was crying very loudly. After I pulled the cats apart I felt pretty good about myself, because I saved that little cat. A couple of years later I wrote about cats and got hit by the fact how cats mate and realized I didn't see to cats fighting and saved the little cat. I was a interrupter of a mating session. ..

The fact that my uncle always tickled me in a funny way, changed its meaning when I heard years later that he was a pedophile.

No- one has exact the same memory. Would it be interesting to let different memories about the same thing fight each other. As in the film Zusje and Rashomon.

Memories are unreliable.

I want to play around whit these facts and make a story which takes place in one building, one spot.

Memory of space, you easily forget how it was before.

It is also interesting How people want to archive life, save everything, information, making libraries. Like how I want to write and draw things down and keep it with me.

The screen memory/ false memory......Which are reel and which are projections of memory who is not yours..

collective memory, you use other peoples experience to make your own work on. The media influences this collective memory .

Memory keeper. When you write down memories, you change the memory because you have to translate it in words. The proces os verstarring will occur sooner when written down, because it displaces the memory, like pictures do become the memory, instead of the memory itself. I think I rememner when I walked for the first time,or the moment that I didn't want to pee in my diper when I was one, but I do remember it because my mother told me that story and know it feels like my own memory.

Old buildings I can use:

• Old policebuilding langebrug. A lot of things happened here.
• Meel fabriek

• Huis Kees ( next to jaap studio), Only I do not know when it is going to be sold...

• Contact 'stadlab 'for using old buildings.site stadslab

5 september

Screen memory False Memory

Memory of space , how it looked like before. When you see a space which has been looking differently before, in your mind you keep the memory of how it looked before. But not for long. After a while the old memory lose form and disappear.

You have memories of actions in a space which hasn't changed at all. Which could be many.

haunting for memories, haunting the past. True the screen you see the past. Was that the real past? Or was it differently, did you remember it wrong? By whipping this memory of the screen, another one appears. This time a memory which is not that good and that I fight to get rid of it by scratching on the screen.. Chased by memories, Looking for the good memories, memories who turn into bad memories....

Should I use my own past? Make a story based on my own memories? Things I want to forget and things I do not remember. How do I show something I cannot remember ? In which space?

Or should I dive into a history of a building and make a story of my search to the memories of that building? This by talking to people and about there memory. In that way I will have a lot of memories different ones about the same place. They might contradict each other. Like Marcia and mine idea about visiting grandmother and father is very different, but both true. So I can search for one happening or one space and collect memories and create a search animation with that. something historical in Leiden , like 'de waag'. There is history and now because they rent it out, a lot of party memories.... What is interesting about that? Isn't it more interesting to keep it more close to myself? But it is more difficult to use my own inner conflicts of memory. I do not know if Ii want to confront other people with myself......

30 augustus 2011

What do I want to do with this technique? Where can I use it for ? and how can I use it differently than I did in my test last year?

Hunting memories.

Searching for memories.

The process s of trying to remember.

The struggle during this search.

Of myself or somebody else?

Two different people fighting over the accuracy of their memory of one event. ( jaap and I- Annie and Jannie) Like in the film Zusje, where an awful memory about a girls childhood turned out to be not as bad as she remembered it. -->FALSE MEMORY. Zusje

Or different generations living in the same village, telling their memory about one specific place.--> ( Oma, Annie of Jannie, Doortje, Guusje)

The process of forgetting. Fading of the memory. We forget more than we remember. For a reason, we will not be smarter if we would remember everything, we will only be more confused. Memory is something that forms you, who you are and how you react in certain situations.

'Memory of the future' can we already have an image of the future? And therefore remember it when we are in that future. You can make decisions for the future, the memory about what you want to become when you are older is a memory of the future....

Memory of the future is just as unreliable as the memories of the past. Both are changing all the time during live experience. Memory of dreams..

What were my first memories? Are these pure or influenced by stories told about them? Or collective memory? What could bring you back into a memory? An action, a space, a smell, a feeling...

Projection of memory in time and space... Memories of my own past in my old neighborhood? Like I wanted to make when I was in the 3th year of KABK. That house in the 'pinksterbloemstraat' is a house that still returns in my dreams. It is a house where I have lived in a very big and important part of my live.

Must it be autobiographical? Documentary like? That also I do not know on forehand where the story will go? A documentation of the my Memories? Or should I make a story based on my own memories, but then adjust to fit in a good story?

Memories never come in one clean story, they are like a dream, like brakhage films. In new build houses are no memories yet. There are no ghosts of the past yet, there are ghost, but very fresh ones.....

How?

Better prepared than the test. Maybe first go on the hount for memories with the frame, but without the memories. After that work out the memories I came along and do the same thing again, but then with the animation in the frame....

Why?

to show the extra layer we see when we come in a familiar or unfamiliar place. To show what our brain does. A way to show how memory is like a ghost, it haunts you or you haunt it... It gives a place a extra dimension, you see the different times, the real time, the time of producing the memory and the time in the memory. It is past and present together. It makes you look in a other persons head. It shows the projection in the brain.... Screen memory is a memory that is there to replace a memory you do not want to have. Which of the memories are reliable? Which are the screen memories?