User:Thijshijsijsjss/Notes on SI22

This page reports on my explorations, findings, unfindings and (more) during Special Issue 22. In the spirit of the wiki, I will resist my current urge to write this introduction in detail -- because I can't write it in detail, yet.

Next trimester's notes -->

Week 1

Tour at WORM

Monday 2023 - 09 - 18 we (XPUB1, Michael and Steve) gathered at Worm for a tour led by Lukas Simonis, Ash Kilmartin and Florian Cramer.

A visit from future Thijs: no imagery. The tour is a human experience, not an archivably summarizable sequence of statics.

Field Recording task

Monday afternoon, we started to discuss the concept post-digital, with the presence of a physical analogy in the form of a cassette player. We went on to take a look at Radio aporee and where tasked with finding a field recording that triggered a memory. This is to be used in the first radio show. My work on this task can be found here:

My field recording explorations

Show

Maria, Victor and Bernadette are this show's Caretakers. They are present in the Radio WORM studio, while the rest of us are gathered around stereo boxes connected to the (previously tellingly broken) digital screen. Communication between Caretakers and the Caretakers' caretakers goes via an Etherpad. This communication is semi-continuous. I notice I am hesitant to write in it.

(Retroactive) playlist

Time	Data	Content
0-25	20.6MB	About Radio Aporee
25-27	3MB	Chat from Victor, Bernadette
27-53	23MB	Collective Audio Field Recording
53- 57	~3MB	Studio Field Recording
57 -65	~11.5MB	Cassette Tape Recording
65-68	1.5MB	Bells
68-70	1MB	Victor: making the mixtape
70-77	4MB	Riffusion Jingle
77-86	8.5MB	Maria Reads a text (might be called 'Snow', might be by 'Ina Blom')
86-98	~11MB?	Aporee Mix / Voices / Westminster
98-105	6MB	droning windows movie maker music + voices
105-120	15MB?	The remainder

Shownotes discussion

In the afternoon after the show, we had a discussion with the classroom, this show's caretakers, Michael and Joseph. There are some important takeaways (for me):

• We all like the tension between a preprogrammed playlist and improvisation and the mysterious dynamic it creates for the listerner.
  • Personally, I was impressed by the cohesion of the show.
• We liked the overlays between music / sounds / voices. There is some balancing here that is important, it is easy to overwhelm the listener.
• One of the highlights of the show was when the caretakers used the etherpad as a script. This back-and-forth between the caretakers and the classroom is something to be fleshed out over the coming week(s).

We have chosen new caretakers already. Actually, my first instinct was not to pick them already. It will be interesting to see how this will change the dynamic between programmed and improvisational radio. Something to reflect on next week.

Prototyping

Tuesday afternoon we had our first prototyping session. In it, we set up a Raspberry Pi and create our own personal user profiles on it. Some useful commands we used today:

• Log in to the pi: ssh thijsoid@145.24.139.16
• Broadcast a message: wall [message]
• Print to the lineprinter: echo "[message]" > /dev/usb/lp0

Methods

Selected gear I use for annotating (zoom in for a description of this layout)

What is annotating? In it's simplest form: shouting at your TV. We spend some time thinking about the way we currently annotate (examining this Protocol). How do I annotate?

• It depends on the origin of the to-be-annotated work and the purpose of my annotation, but the common denominator tends to be the use of color to structure both the work as well as my notes.
• I tend to prefer physical annotation, because it feels like my annotations are more transformative: my digital notes feel separate from the work, but physical notes feel like a transformation of it.

Some nice quotes from / through Steve:

• Notetaking can be an act of generosity.
• Every text creates a reader.

Together with Victor, Bernadette and Rosa, I read the text On the data set's ruins. We spend quite a big portion of the allocated time on creating, adhering to and reflecting on a reading Protocol (see pad). I noticed I felt more at ease during this discussion. I figure it might have to do with the following aspects:

• Me being more familiar with the article's contents, and hence feeling more confident to speak
• The smaller group size being less intimidating to speak up -- and more easily invited to engage.
• In particular, it might be interesting to reflect on whether the presence of our Protocol had an effect on my at-easeness. It might have, in the sense that I did not have to worry about internally deciding when or where to make a comment: I just had to follow the Protocol.

After this group discussion, we met back with the whole class to discuss our findings (on Protocols and subject matter). In this plenary session, I felt more inclined to speak up than earlier that day. Is this me getting used to the implied Protocols of this class?

Miscellaneous Findings

It is now the weekend. If I'm honest, it has been a lot to take in, and I don't think my brain has caught up with processing the changes yet, let alone the contents of our conversations this week. That said, I'm very excited.

It might be useful -- in a way maybe even necessary -- to fix in time my current thoughts on why I am here. I cannot present an exhaustive list (which to me is wonderful, I hope to find new reasons as time goes on), but it includes:

the collaborative process speaks to me

it seems to allow -- encourage, even -- experimentation with and the use of multiple media

I expect xpub's attitude to help me with some paralyzing struggles of self-curation

I was looking forward to the methods class, and really enjoyed it. In particular, the group's still finding its dynamic, and this was showcase during this class. I'm excited to see this dynamic develop and the undoubtedly interesting conversations we're all going to have.

(AAAHH I'm self-curating again. I'm making this section super small because I'm usure what to do with it but have decided that I should do something to combat this paralysis.)

I have detected the presence of certain social insecurities from which I hoped I had moved on. I'm also terribly self-aware of my English, which is a self-fulfilling prophecy for disaster.

I notice I'm using my desk at home differently than before. Instead of being the 'home base' in my room, it has been a place governed by temporality. I don't think it will remain this way. It is the result of me having to get used to this new routine -- this new Protocol.

Week 2

Collaborative_Emacs

A_case_for_chopchop

Another Tour at Worm

A voice recorder recording a conversation the surrounding feet are having at WORM

This Monday we met at WORM again, this time to tour the radio studio and to talk with Lieuwe Zelle. There, Michael tried to copy the contents of a harddrive with material from radio WORM. This caused the system to fail -- presumably due to moving keyboard messing up the setup: a weird post-digitally rooted scenario.

Lieuwe made an offhand mention of the relationship between radio and podcasts that I think was interesting in the light of Phelan's paper The Ontology of Performance: podcast is to radio what a recording (or otherwise documented work) is to performance. I've been a bit nervous for the radio show, and the Phelan paper and this comment comforted me in the idea that such a show is just that: a performance. The act of doing is what's important, and is in many ways not comparable to the other shows we've done, or, for that matter, to any plans you had for the show beforehand.

Senka brought up a good point on authorship rights and informed consent. Interestingly, Lieuwe felt comfortable using the recordings of other shows by argument of implicit consent. I imagine we'll have to be consiously considerate of these concepts when working with the archive.

The conversation -- and the process of copying the harddrive -- was recorded (see image).

In the afternoon we talked about active archiving, constant, licensing, and more.

Show

For this show, I contributed by being part of the collaborative reading of Barthes's Death of the Author. This show's Caretakers were Anita, Mania and Wang. They decided to surprise us. I was meaning to ask what had prompted this decision, but didn't get to it. If I were to speculate, it was to hide an interactive element. This element was quite well received -- I hope we can expand on the interactive possibilities, maybe even by covering multiple media.

The element of surprise adds a nuanced element to the dynamic between the Caretakers and the Caretakers' caretakers. Michael expressed a worry this might lead to groups trying to 1-up eachother. While I don't think the surprise was necessarily hindering this time, I do agree with this worry. Rosa raised a question on this topic after the show. I expect to continue the group conversation on this next week.

More details can be found in this show's shownotes and the script.

Prototyping

We spend some time naming the server using a new protocol, with names suggested over the weekend in a pad. Ultimately, we chose chopchop (but threadgoat lives on!).

We then set up the server, getting a crashcourse in terminal gymnastics in the meantime -- a nice refresher. I can now create publicly accessible webpages by using placing them in /home/thijsoid/public_html/! After getting set up, the group split in half. The subgroup I was in tried to set up a collaborative emacs session (to little avail) to start tinkering on a soundboard.

The xpub studio. The greenish arrow points to the desk I've been sitting at. Beware the yellow arrow, it is a misdirection.

Start from the middle

Miscellaneous Findings

I had a meeting with Manetta and Michael to dicuss some anxiety I am experiencing. This was a comforting meeting.

This week, we created quite a few new protocols. In particular I had in depth involvement with the Collaborative Emacs and A case for chopchop protocols. In making these, and while having some conversations with my classmates about the start of the program and each other's involvement in the group dynamic, I wonder if we should be more rigorous in the creation of 'social protocols', too. We did introduce (at least) one such protocol: voting by show of hands.

I had the opportunity to spend some time in the studio this week: to work with Riviera, Victor and Alessia on a case for chopchop, to document my findings for the week, but also as a place to process my thoughts and socialize. This final element, in particular, has been nice!

Week 3

EtherPatches

Zinecampprepcamp

Monday morning we talked about zinecamp, the possibilities for a live radio show, tie ins to the Special Issue, and everyone's interests. I feel like there is special opportunuity for (live) interaction during such a show -- something I'm eager to explore.

The Caretakers of this week's show gave a demonstration of Tidal Cycles and we discussed how they explored the Worm Radio archive to select samples: semi randomly.

Show

How do we look at something that is both fish and water? Both means and meaning?

This show was more 'being made' than 'made'. I felt like it invited reflection on what we consider protocols, and how we might apply them (see pad). In particular, some of the Personal Protocols were intimate.

As per protocol, we scheduled an hour of reflection on the show Tuesday afternoon. Maria suggested the 'natural extension' of a radio play -- a thing I like. Maybe the physicality of being in the studio can be part of that, as well as new ways of engaging with the show.

This conversation led to one about protocols, and how we feel about incorporating some in our group. This is a difficult question: at times it might come natural (e.g. when voting), while at other times it doesn't. Maybe the question isn't whether we want protocols, but rather how specific we would want them to be, and to what extend we would want to adher to them. We can think of these protocols not as a current list of rules, but as an archive of experiments. We can start to think about protocols as a verb, rather than a noun.

Raspberry Radio

We are going to broadcast radio with a Raspberry Pi. First, clone a Git repository:

 sudo apt install git
 git clone https://github.com/markondej/fm_transmitter

Now, compile the transmitter using make

 cd fm_transmitter/
 sudo apt install make
 sudo apt install build-essential
 cat makefile
 make

Test an example:

 ./fm_transmitter acoustic_guitar_duet.wav

Wow.

Put a USB soundcard into your Pi and get your mixtable ready:

1. Connect a microphone.
2. Connect one of the mixtable's audio outputs to the soundcard's input.
3. (you might want to look at alsamixer)

We will need an antenna to transmit the signal:

1. Inspect your Pi and find its model number.
2. Search online for the functions of the pins.
3. Connect your antenna to the pin associated with GPIO 4.

Start broadcasting:

 arecord -D hw:1,0 -c 1 -d 0 -r 22050 -f S16_LE | sudo ./fm_transmitter -f 100.6 -

(This is a utopian guide. It's ambiguous if we got it to work...^{However, today I did find out that I have trouble making loud noises.})

Methods

We (Victor, Bernadette, Rosa and I) continued our readings of On the Dataset's Ruins, joined by Riviera. This was good, though I didn't feel as comfortable as I did last Methods class. I think this had to do with my general state of mind of the day. This continued in the afternoon session, where we started a visual map. In retrospect, I didn't feel comfortable during this activity either*. My hypothesis is this: a normal group conversation is almost ethereal. Now, there was a physical aspect. Not only the tanglible writings, but more so the physical act of conveying your words: physically moving in the group, on the paper, and writing. I deem this worth mentioning here, as I did not expect these feelings to trouble me, and is might prove insightful in looking at my position within the group.

(*Lídia did a great job keeping an eye out throughout the day though. Thank you Lídia :))

Oh, and I tried out the free printing today by printing the text! Amazing!

Miscellaneous Findings

EtherPatches

On Monday I discussed the aesthetic of the Etherpads with Mania -- we both love it. We wondered how it might look without the text, so I created a a program to remove it. The result is pretty cute, and can maybe be connected to our current special issue: it present an archive of our learning. Mania suggested this archive might become active (1) as a zine, or (2) by allowing people to write new text on the patched pads. I look forward to exploring this more -- I am happy to have found an opportunity to 'use my expertise'.

Plotting Pen plotters

Lineart selfie we made using some code I wrote last year.

Penplotted lineart selfie.

Victor, Alessia and I were excited to try out the pen plotters in the studio. It took quite some testing (thank you Stephen, Manetta and Victor for your help and dedication), but we figured it out. I might write a wiki page at some point (or not, see miscmisc). Here is a (pretty spectacular) result.

Setting up the Studio

(no photo of new setup goes here)

Uncategorized Findings (Miscmisc)

I feel like the Wiki has captured my attention -- nice, but I seem to give it more priority than I should.

A Carefree Caretaker Scares Me (Onzeker)

I have not been a Caretaker yet (I wanted to, but maybe I've not been adamant enough). As we take turns, this means I will probably be one at the show of October 17. If I'm honest with myself -- and everyone (the wiki's public nature remains a tension I intend to explore) -- if I'm honest with ourselves, I feel conflicted. This show will broadcasted be during our autumn break. Although I have nothing planned yet for that day, my overwhelmdness these last weeks and my inability to let go of the study material at home suggest (demand?) that I maybe should honor the break as that: a break. However, (1) I wouldn't feel comfortable to call upon my classmates as replacements Caretaker, and more importantly (2) if I were a Caretaker, I would feel opposed to make requests for content for the show during their free days -- I feel the need to honor their break too. Moreover, if we we're to do the show on the 17th, there's maybe individuals, but no class listening. This I find sad.

On the other hand, maybe this is an opportunity to explore possibilities with the show with less pressure.

All in all, the circumstances are unfortunate. It is weird how I have somehow gotten a feeling of responsibility for this.

Update: on Monday it was brought up by Manetta, and I expressed some of my conflicting feelings. We decided to have a 'holiday special' during the break -- something I may or may not be a part of -- and then the next real show would be October 24.

Week 4

Reading and Conversations

Monday we started with the possibility to discuss the reading material (A text on Georges Perec and one by Simon Yuill, see Ethereal Library). I really was quite fond of the Perec text, in general for the playful constrained creativity it presented, and in particular for all the ideas it spawned for the radio show I will Caretake October 24th. I've really enjoyed the reading material so far; every week -- especially the first -- I thought: how come these texts cross my path only now!? I think this is a very good sign, a sign that this program is pushing my boundaries in a direction I feel passionate about / I feel is important / I was hoping for? / ...

I want to make 3 notes on our group conversations:

• Sometimes, they do not reach a conclusion. We tend to pick up these topics later, creating a fluid conversation that invites associativity. A part of me likes this, another part struggles with this open-endedness (maybe it's a fear of failure; without a conclusion, what should I do?)
• With so many voices, a conversation can move at lightspeed. My thoughts tend to linger for a while, before they are fully formed. (hmm maybe I should make a reading corner so I can reference Elaine Aron here)
• I think I am more present than earlier. This is a good thing. I still feel uncomfortable most of the time im speaking, but I'm glad there's a positive trend. I briefly talked about this with Senka on Wednesday. Starting to feel comofortable with the individuals helps me to feel comfortable with the group.

On that last note: when Manetta asked us at the start of the week if we had any suggestions for protocols, I proposed it would be nice to have a moment to update eachother with projects related to the special issue. We had a moment for this Monday afternoon. I think a moment like this is nice and necessary, but I felt weird 'presenting' the EtherPatches and the case for chopchop projects. I worry my classnotes might not have appreciated this moment as much. But maybe this is anxiety talking. It probably is.

We had breakfast during our radio show and I laid on the floor meditating

See header title.

Prototyping

curl and grep and sed and weasyprint

We used curl and weasyprint:

 $ curl https://pad.xpub.nl/p/SI22-Monday-Oct-09/export/html  > todays-pad.html 
 $ weasyprint todays-pad.html todays-pad.pdf

You can also use a stylesheet. In fact, we can use a pad as a collaborative stylesheet. This blew my mind.

 $ weasyprint -s https://pad.xpub.nl/p/print.css/export/txt todays-pad.html todays-pad.pdf

Also, we used grep and sed. I want to make some poetRE.

• Link to the syllabus of my Languages and Automata class, which uses RegEx as an entrypoint to automata theory.

Graphviz and Pens not Plotting

We used graphviz for diagrams, which I was somewhat familiar with as there's a CTAN package for it I've used in LaTeX. The plan was to plot these with some pen plotters. For this, I wanted to setup Inkscape for HPGL conversion. I ran into the usual Linux shenanigans. I tried to manually set the Python version:

<group
    id="extensions"
    python-interpreter="/usr/bin/python2.7"
    ...
>

Hypothetically, this is how one could plot using chiplotle

1. connect to plotter to computer with usb
2. Start the plotter
3. Wait! until it is started
4. Activate the venv you made: ~/Documents/xpub/penplotter-venv/bin/activate
5. Start chiplotle: chiplotle3
6. send hpgl file to plotter: plotter.write_file('FILENAME.hpgl')
7. when you're done, close chiplote: exit()

We also (tried to?) make chopchop a printing station. It didn't work. But I think we made a virtual environment here: var/www/penplotter-venv. A support message by Manetta.

Autumn break

PoetRE

I recorded some introductions for segments in the holiday special.

A 'you're listening to' intro: 

The 'Call to Victor' segment: 

The 'Sleep protocol' segment: 

Tuesday I went to the radio studio to be there during the show with Rosa. Most of my time this week was spend on the radioshows, in fact. More on that here: Caretaking show 5

Week 5 or 6 I'm not sure whether we're counting the break as a week honestly

Looping tape

Open tape player

Monday

• I was unsure whether there was a pad, so I made a pad.
• Agenda: SI (yt-dlp, Caretaker update (still not quite comfortable in these 'presenting' moments, but an exciting conversation on CYOA games and books and my wiki project), A Computer Glossary, discussing our INC contributions); Prototyping with Joseph and Michael (manipulating tape, I made a 7.7s looping tape with Anita).
• If you don't specify what you want, it makes a decision it thinks is intelligent. I don't always like this.
• 'Planned Obsolescence'

Instances of Performer, Navigator and Protocoller about to get WORMHOLEd

Tuesday

• Agenda: radioshow; DOING A RADIOSHOW?; yes a radioshow; Prototyping with Joseph (examples of tape in art; audio example with js); show discussion.
• Even the earliest taperecorders were able to capture three piano notes faithfully. However, is was the possibility to unfatithfully recreate sounds that were particularly exciting. (paraphrased)

A place to document some thoughts on (making / being on / living through) the radioshow. (But you don't have to) (The live aspect was significant)

• Also a zinecamp meeting. I'm excited to work on a possible radio show (more modes of interaction, live soundboard? with Bernadette and Rosa), a zine to as an extension to this Tuesday's show (with Anita) and more, maybe.

Wednesday

• Agenda: methods with Lídia (working in subgroups for paraphrasing; ...)
• Bernadette, Rosa, Victor and I were tasked to paraphrase On the Dataset's Ruins, which led to a conversation on the definition of datasets and their ontology. I noticed there's still a fierce mathematical fire burning inside me, relating my personal view of datasets to the mathematical concept of a set. Hence, I tend to include context-free sets (those that exist without human involvement, or otherwise wordly involvement, really) in my mental association to the word 'dataset'. It is then intereseting to compare this to my associations to the word 'archive', a concept that, in my mind, has instances that cannot exist context-free. I proposed this to Senka -- who had challenged me to think about these concepts in an earlier Methods class -- as the characterizing difference between datasets. Senka disagreed, which to me speaks to the messyness of these concepts. I want to acknowledge that I don't think the author of On the Dataset's Ruins would agree either, as they suggest that a dataset is always a reaction. I think I can understand their argument, and agree to an extent, but for myself include a broader idea of 'sets', including those 'hypothetical objects' that are 'merely' singular representatives of conceptual collectives -- again, without any worldly involvement.
• I'd say the exercice in this class proved to engage me in the Special Issue in a way the previous exercises maybe had not. Interesting. Why could this be? Did it trigger my analytical modus operandi? In what way do I / should I balance this with the otherwise often encouraged mode of rapid, experimental creation?

Meeting with Anita

• CYOA zine; adapting our broadcast is maybe too ambitious, so a smaller, new project that extends our experimentation.
• Turn the 'your' in CYOA plural: target it at multiple people (zine camp being a social event)
  • pieces of one story that are completed by other zines; treasure hunt
• Senka messaged me yesterday with a nice message about how the CYOA broadcast gave a feeling that protocols need not be so strict

• Different copies of the zine; find eachother irl to get 'all pieces of the puzzle'
• Continue with Protocoller, Navigator, Performer
• 8-page zine with script, and a connecting visual on the back

• Story about them suddenly being unable to communicate: the 'translator fish in their ear escapes'
  • blacked out lines for the other roles
  • visual with the 'ocean of files / archives'
  • Front Cover: I AM THE [ROLE1] [ROLE2] [ROLE3] (with two blacked out)
  • Back Cover: AND I AM LOOKING FOR [ROLE1] [ROLE2] [ROLE3] (with the one on the front blacked out)

Week 7

The yoga nidra setup

Monday

We have entered 'support mode': we can bring our own soundboards (?) and discuss them with Michael and Manetta. I have been busy preparing for zinecamp, and have therefore not been spending much time outside of class to work on these soundboards. That's okay, I don't think I'm struggling with them. However, I did feel a bit uncomfortable to discuss the zinecamp radio show with Rosa and Bernadette during the support session, even though this was the thing we needed support for. Manetta helped us out. Maybe I'm still too relient on 'feeling instructed', I want to work on setting my own goals.

Tuesday

We were encouraged to listen to today's radio show not in the aquarium, but in a comfortable place. Alessia and I did a yoga nidra exercise before the show to get comfortable (-> ◠‿◠). This was really nice -- the studio was ambient. The show's context and structure, combined with this yoga exercise, invited an intimate conversation, which I greatly appreciated.

Throughout the day it was decided that we would merge the presentation and radioshow for zinecamp. I think it works better this way for me as well. Now I will be able to focus on the zines with Anita, with Maria and my own. Pressure has been high. I have not felt a moment to breath between last week's radio show and zinecamp. But it's exciting. These balls we're juggling -- the tasks, but more so the feelings that come with them -- remain hard to separate from each other. I feel like, for the first time in many years, I have felt a sense of purpose in what I'm doing. But doing it consumes me. My overview is limited. It makes me feel restless and at not-ease.

Wednesday

AS OF TODAY I AM AN EXPERIENCED USED, ACCORDING TO THE WIKI. 500 EDITS. I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS DAY.

With Steve we worked on the Wordhole Glossary (<-- I learned how to create an internal link to a category page!), this time in a more 'lenient' manner: not just definitions of concepts, but rather a highly subjective documentation of our practises. I feel like this, while not immediately useful to the group, was a nice way to go about doing things. Just like we've discovered that a large part of archives are the intangible actions that surround the materialistic end results that end up in an archive, we, too, are creating a lot, tangible and intangible.

ZINECAMP

Plotting the volume live at sinecamp

Making friends at zinecamp

My backpack

Portable zinestation

Temporary Image

XPUB stand / box (nested)

Teabreakers in teabox

Presentation

Week 8

Monday

The past few weeks, I was really tiring myself out -- first the broadcast I was caretaker for, then the preparations for zinecmp and eventually zinecamp itself. I have not been sleeping well (maar dat behoort misschien een andere wiki entry toe) and really didn't feel well Sunday evening. I felt the need to give myself some space after zinecamp, so I didn't set my alarm. Omdat ik zo slecht slaap, ben ik vaak bang om naar bed te gaan. Deze angst kan alsmaar opbouwen. In de laatste jaren, zeker sinds ik op kamers zit, merk ik dat de wetenschap dat ik morgen vroeg op moet staan genoeg druk kan zijn om niet in slaap te kunnen vallen. Deze druk wilde ik mezelf besparen die zondagavond na zinecamp.

I ended up being there after the break. I felt weird (bad?) (though I'm proud (?) I made this decision), I didn't really know how I should have communicated my absence. At the end of the day, I asked Michael about this: just send a Zulip message, it is appreciated! Deze dingen worden soms groter in mijn hoofd dan ze hoeven te zijn, en blijven langer hangen dan nodig is.

With Joseph we (a subgroup of the class) discussed the possibilities of the Special Issues 'form'; we have a space to deal with, I'm very escited to utilize that. We spend a little more time on a picknick basket idea. I have to be honest, the way we reached the point of this idea is kind of mysterious to me, but it was a nice playful exercise in letting your fantasy run wild (and sharing this with the others).

Tuesday

This morning we were all at Worm to make / listen to the radio show. As a result, the energy during the show was totally different. Some notes I want to highlight from today's pad:

• There were other people there as well -- people not related to xpub or today's show -- and while it didn't seem like they were at worm specifically to listen to the broadcast, it was nice to experience some energy from other people while listening to / working on the broadcast. This defintely changed the way I was listening to our own show.
• While I feel like the unplanned quality of today's show was nice, and worked well in combination with the interviews, I do feel like figuring out what we're doing on the fly limits the possibilities of what we can explore and to what depth.

I felt like, interestingly enough, this second point didn't really resonate with most people in class / Michael. Maybe it is because I was not part of the content-subgroup yesterday, in which the interview idea was formed, or because I didn't articulate my feelings well enough, or because I simply have another preference. I'm curious how this will evolve. It's exciting, actually: one beauty of collaboration is being surprised by others, and I'm ready for this Special Issue to take a form not one of us could have perceived on our own!

After lunch we continued the talk on the Special Issue release, and started talking about the 'form' as a 'metaphor', which is a really useful framing decive for me.

As noted before, I sometimes worry I am too rigid with my wiki pages. In turn, I worry I am too rigid myself.

This is a test

to see how the TOC will handle this...

The div spacing is not preserved in the TOC!

Will keep this test here for wondering Wiki Wanderers.

... and how I You will handle this

When you see a penplotter like this, better not touch it! O.O

XPUB2 Leeszaal event

In the evening I obeyed XPUb2's summon and went to Leeszaal. It was nicely confusing. I'm not sure if this will ultimately help me with my graduation preparations. I also talked One Piece with Ada's roommate Mathilde.

Before the event, I was trying to set up a fancy new old Raspberry Pi. I was using my laptop as the powersource. Because the installation wasn't finished in time (after 1hr+) and I didn't want to unplug it during this setup, I left my laptop in the studio overnight (but I made sure to create a perfect disguise). Name proposals for this Pi are Chøpchøp and Threadgoat.

Wednesday

Methods with Lidia. Exercise in modes of address -- fiction: Work in Progress

There was ^moneytalk at the end of the day. _{what should we do with the zinecamp profit?}. This was the first time ^selling my work like this, so I didn't really know what to expect, and what my position in this conversation was. I think we decided putting it all in an xpub1 piggybank. I find this weird and appropriate at the same time.

Week 9

Plothatching

Support Mode and a shifting perspective on programming

We didn't have protoyping classes Monday nor Tuesday, as a compensation for zinecamp. (But I was actively mummifying at home, so I wanted to come to the studio anyway) We have fully entered support mode. Before, I didn't really know what that would entail. And I still don't really know. I was restless because of the freedom this seemed to give us (^{if no one is telling me what to do, how can I be sure I'm doing the right thing?}). This week, I challenged myself to embrace the freedom, and ask for help for two project I had been working on over the weekend:

• Crosshatching code (Git); with Joseph I discussed some possibilities for exporting to svg or even hpgl. Victor and Alessia were also there to help!
• A Raspberry Pi setup; Manetta helped me set up a low weight brwoser (Epiphany) on my V1 Pi. This also led to an interesting conversation on constraint computing.

In general, this support mode has highlighted a stark difference with previous years in my approach / feelings towards coding. I have always been a programmer who thought out everything first, and then started doing. I have never been super confident in my skills. I have never been super excited about what I could contribute through code. Over the course of this Special Issue, though, I've found myself captivated my a programming task on several occasions (e.g. EtherPatches), and motivated (and encouraged?) to work on these projects. Work on them quickly, too.

This plotter is (not) made to cry

This one in particular: TAXAN X-Y KPL710 Plotter

PloViewMini

During the weekend (or , I had tried to set up PloViewMini, a tool to visualise HPGL code digitally. It's a demo version of the not-so-mini, regularly sized PloView -- which requires a license that seems to be no supported no longer, but would allow you for more than just plowViewing, also ploDrawing and maybe even ploMore. One can download the installer at the Isoplotec site.

Alien Wizard

Japanese Wizard

When running the file (on Windows), I got prompted with this very shady installation wizard. It appears it doesn't translate to Unicode characters properly, probably because the software dates back to the 80s. Isoplotec is (was?) a Japanese company, so I guessed these characters should be interpreted as Japanese. I did this like this: Control Panel > Region and Language > Administrative > Language for non-Unicode programs > Japanese.

Find a more elaborate guide here.

Week 10

Machine Listening Workshop

We had a workshop by Ahnjili ZhuParris on Machine Listening / replicating voices.

• surveillance art
• privacy by design
• bag of chips as a recording device
• intrusive listening

Interviewing Ari

In the break on Monday, Victor and I went to WORM to interview Ari, the Archivist of the Pirate Bay. It was refreshing to go back to some fundamental concepts / questions about archives with the knowledge and experiences of the special issue. I think the interview went okay.

I talk sooo slowly though...
And I worry I should've stopped the recording earlier
En ik maak me nog veel meer zorgen. Ik ben me alleen maar zorgen aan het maken.

De laatste weken heb ik het gevoel gehad het overzicht over mezelf kwijt te zijn -- niet het overzicht over wat ik moet doen, maar wie ik ben als persoon. Dit gaat in golven en is een vertrouwd (maar niet prettig) patroon. De oorzaken en gevolgen zijn een te complex web om hier te noemen, maar het omvat het reizen, het Engels, de observatie dat de studie het grootste deel van mijn sociaal contact vormt (en wie ben ik, behalve een beeld in de ogen van anderen?). Voor mij is openheid belangrijk in een vriendschap. Ik zie mezelf graag als iemand die zo een soort intimiteit uitnodigt. Hier heb ik de laatste tijd mee geworsteld. Het lijkt er allemaal niet zo uit te komen als ik wil. En als ik zelf een uitnodiging krijg, lukt het me ook niet goed. Ik vind het moeilijk. Moeilijk, vooral, dat het voelt alsof ik dit stukje, dit kleine beetje dat ik associeerde met wat dan ook in de buurt van mijn kern kwam, aan het verliezen ben.

During the interview, I caught a small glimpse of it again. This was good. I would like to tap into this more, also in my work.

(My wiki entries are so wordy. It's okay, I like words. However. Etc.)

(Waarom typ ik dit in het Nederlands? Niet om de boodschap te verbergen, denk ik. Ik denk dat dit intimiteit met zich meebrengt)

Wednesday self-directed meetings

Wednesday (I left home early to vote (don't think about the elections (how can I not think about the elections))) Lídia was sick. We decided to meet anyway to discuss the Special Issue release. Ultimately, we met with 13 in total today (hybrid). And I feel like we were productive.

I was surprised, and very happy with us. I felt like we cared about the SI and all felt some responsibility. I also felt strongly the benefit of working with such a diverse group, we all had our part in the conversation.

Mysteriously, it was easier for me talk then during a 'normal' meeting. Hmm.

Week 11

XPUB2 Mock Assessments

• I was inspired by Stephen's performance at Leeszaal. Can de assessment moment have this performative quality? E.g. timer big on a screen, declare story parts as acts of a play, ...
  • again I start to think about the art of extending the experience. Dedicate the first minute of the 'presentation' to an 'ad-block'. Carrier bag theorem. Teabreak. Ref. cineville zine essay.
  • explicatie. explicatie buiten film als reflectiemiddel. als verwekingsstrategie. misschien ook als presentatiemethode.
• Stephen again gave a great performative presentation. I was confused by the group discussion and the 'proposal of resubmitting' we rewarded it with.
  • The reverse panopticon
  • Form of assessment is very different from what I'm used to.
• Separation thesis and project? 3 types of theses / different modes of address, according to Steve:
  • 'no I' ~ like Ada's
  • Report on the process of researh
  • 'Creative Writing'
• To Aglaia: I was selected to start with presenting the summary of our discussion to you. I had no frame of reference, and might have been brief. Please feel free to reach out for more insights!

Later that I day was talking to Leslie, and found myself saying this: this first trimester has been a rollercoaster. So much is thrown at us -- material, methods, invitations, ... -- and this has, while exciting and motivating, overwhelmed me. How will we be able to let these things converge, or distill something we'd like to use for our theses? It was a reassurance to see how XPUB2 have handled this (also reflecting how their special issues are shaping their current work).

XPUB party (plus proper plotter party postponed?)

I was shy but then less so. I think I need to talk to Kamo more. Nice conversations with Senka, Bernadette, Mania and Rosa. Ik denk dat het me goed heeft gedaan. It was fun. (Zuzuさんとの漢字の会話も楽しかったです！) We (I) didn't get to celebrating the penplotters much. I feel like a dedicated penplotter party is required (with Alessia I had made some mazes to solve by free-drawing with the plotter). Luckily Victor showed of some amazing plots. Also I got to talk about the crosshatching script a bit, which was nice.

Role play as a method of decision making

(I like DnD but) I've always been scared to roleplay in a new group. Suddenly found myself encouraging the idea in the group. Improvosationally used in this week's broadcast. Unexpected way of navigating group decisions. Afterwards I did feel like I had failed -- but I think this is due to other factors in my life right now. Continuing this for the next broadcast and potentially SI release.

Week 12

Signal Lost: Archive Unzipped index page

• Weekend stress and discouragement;
• Broadcast; caretaker; get something off my chest
• Manetta's message on zulip about the plotter party
• Impressed by Lídia's ability to make us make decisions the day before the release event.
• today I wasn't able to think of the word for mailbox in Dutch (brievenbus) and noticed I wasn't able to 'search my mind' like I normally would. Really scary. I feel like this has been happening more lately. Is my brain too stimulated? Not well rested?

Tuesday Broadcast and two frustrations

This weekend I had been stressed about the Special Issue. I felt like there was too much to do, to little coherence and little clarity on how I could contribute. I have been feeling low in general, so I might have been overly vulnerable to this.

Mania, Anita, Wang and I had some meetings for the Tuesday Broadcast. This went well. We decided on a three part structure:

1. Regular Radio: a normal radio show, suggesting no apocalyptic shenanigans, with reflections on the project.
2. Soundscape: a 15-minute piece of music interwoven with interviews that would represent some sort of apocalytic event
3. Improvisation: a la last Tuesday.

We ended our meeting on Sunday with a concrete 'debfrief' of things we wanted to update the group on, and things we'd like to have input on. I was actually pretty happy that we made this. It's easy to get stunlocked when having to 'present', and this list was supposed to make this go smoothly. It was a take away from earlier weeks that I think worked well.

(I don't really like to express these frustrations, but I've pledged to be honest)

FIRST FRUSTRATION. And the 'presentation' did go sufficiently smoothly. However, I didn't experience the group feedback as positive at all. This didn't sit well with me. I felt as if the group maybe was feeling a similar stress about incoherency as I had been feeling (and surely every one of us had our own things to focus on), and they were hoping that we had magically fixed that. I felt like they had (a lot of diverging) demands, but didn't want to take responsibility for their part in this narrative. (I don't like that I'm using 'they' a lot -- but that's what the aquarium-presentations do to a person / a group). One comment in the pad stood out to me when action points were listed:

Fix broadcast narrative, share with group today (for tomorrow)

To have our preparations, ideas and excitement reduced to just the statement that it needed fixing felt really bad. I changed this comment to this:

Discuss a set of constraints for the improv-narrative, share with group today (for tomorrow)

I don't think I should have done this. I think I should have addressed my discomfort either in the pad (by writing this next to the other comment), or irl (but probably not irl because realizations come slowly and there was more to discuss).

BROADCAST. The first part went well. The second part -- I had not heard it in full before -- was great. The third pa--

SECOND FRUSTRATION. While in the studio with Mania and Anita for the first part, I looked outside to the Wunderbar a few times. It was really discouraging to see barely anyone giving attention to the show. I get that people were busy with their own prepwork. But still, discouraging. For the third part, I sensed a similar dis-engagement. This was unfortunate, as the group had been engaged with the improv last week, and was engaged in giving the feedback that shaped this section of the show.

CONTINUING WITH THE BROADCAST. We ended with almost all of us in the studio, which was great and nice and friendly.

Release Event and afterthoughts

I was starting to write a section along the lines of 'though I feel positively about the weeks leading up to the SI release, I feel like I have personally failed the week of the event for these 3 reasons'. So I think I should take a break and write this section later.

Week 13

Debrief / Monolithijs

December 12th -- 5 days after the release event -- we had a debrief meeting, using this pad. I was present in monolith form. We were invited to voice our thoughts on several categories concerning the special issue. They are presented below, with some notes that are an attempted summary of sentiments shared in the discussion that resonated with me.

• What were you happy with? We had spend little time preparing the radioshow broadcast live during the event, meant to expand the reach of the event so that people who were not able to be physically present, could still be part of it. Despite this, it went really smoothly. And confidently. This, to me, is a testament of our practise with radiomaking -- and maybe more subtly with our group communication. On a similar note, I was happy with everyone showing dedication during the event and its setup. It felt like we were there as a group. I got the impression that we, as a group, were generally capable to welcoming visitors to the event, even uninitiated visitors. That feature of the location, the balance and mingling of 'our audience' and the 'general WORM visitors', worked well. In an unexpected way, I feel like this added some cohesion to the different installations, and it carried some narrative resonance too.
• Things you were less happy with? Other features of the space, however, didn't work in our favor. There were a lot of people -- way more than I was expecting -- and the layout of the space really emphasized this. It was noisy, too. This impacted several components of the event. (1) the radioshow had no presence in the physical space. Not a big deal, this we had accounted for. Also (2) supposedly the LARP element suffered from this. I was in the radio studio for the majority of the start of the event, but I can easily imagine this being the case. Finally, (3) ultimately the space wasn't very inviting for a 'tour'. It was hard to guide people through it. This was made more difficult by not being sufficiently involved with the different projects, and therefore not feeling authorized to talk about them. This is very much in line with the politeness of our group -- not wanting to overstep anyone's boundaries, or intrude their work --, we were up to date with the projects, but not 'educated' on what to say about them. This did impact the presentation of 'group'. We had stated to try to not make the release event a zinecamp 2.0, a collection of individual projects. Even though the projects were definitely connected, I did sense this parallellism, maybe even to a greater extent than with zinecamp. Especially in the weeks building up to the event, I often felt surprised when someone gave an update of a project I was unaware of, that was already well-developed and part of the release. In turn, this would make me feel out of the loop and discourage me to take initiative in other projects.
• What were missed opportunities? Or what do you find was missing? I feel like most of our comments on this share a common characterstic: while in the midst of the special issue, it was difficult 'zoom out' and see the full scope of the project, evaluate the different topics and tools handed to us appropriately, and decide on their part in the release event accordingly. This includes the little emphasis on actual radiomaking during the event. It also includes practises of annotation, collaboration and protocols. On a personal level, I feel like I didn't push myself out of my comfort zone enough for the release event (elaboration to be added in different section).
• Where do you see room for improvement? This category has a lot of obvious connections to the others. As implied, there is room for improvement in our communication: involving each other in our projects, more efficient decision making, making decisions well in advance and also sticking to them. It wasn't mentioned in the debrief explicitly, but I also feel like this relates to an improvement we can find in the relation between different classes. Sometimes, it felt like we had finally made a decision, only for it to be reversed in the methods class, because there was a disconnect between the group and the tutor. This is also an exercise in communication, but a different flavor: expressing our ideas outwards. Aside from communication, there's also improvement to be made in the relation of our work with the space. In setting up, too, I feel like we got carried away and maybe should take care of ourselves some more. More testing beforehand might help with this, too.

Miscellaneous notes: I want to express some additions not captured by these categories. Firstly, I very much appreciated the opportunity for such a debrief. It is valuable to collaboratively reflect, and valuable to share this with the staff (and get a glimpse of their opinions). We did talk mostly about the release event though. Useful too, but something that I feel was happening anyway. I would've liked some additional focus on communicating feedback on the structure of the SI as well: the relation between the courses, the strategies we have been applying, et cetera. Steve and Lídia said that, for the methods class, this is typically part of the final class of the corresponding trimester, but we didn't get to it this time 'and we'll do it after next trimester'. I'm hopeful we can squeeze this into the start of it, rather than just at the end. The group has been timid by nature, and I feel like the moments of assertivity have been very productive to us. I'm convinced we'll be able to direct our attention more confidently and decisively after a conversation like that. (But then again, I do realize we're already spending a lot of time in this meta level)

Florian made a note on the transcriptions of the interviews in the manual. Two notes, really. (1) Apparantly, the consent for publication in written form were not made explicit enough. And (2), the texts were curated AI transcriptions, with 'mistakes left in as an intended artifact of the method', which Florian found problematic. I completely agree with him. I mention this here explicitly for two reasons. (A) This caused a big (in the relative meaning for our quiet and ever politely agreeing group) conflict, which surprised me because Florian, to me, seemed to be so obviously in the right. It brought the question of consent to light in a more concrete way. 'But this is not the real thing', (or something similar) was stated. Yes, yes it is! While I have gotten the sense that we consider XPUB to be an experimental playground, I was surprised to find some of us consider our works to be 'mockups' or 'trials'. It connects to an (hopefully ongoing) conversation with Stephen on 'having to go out into the real world again'. It's that our experiments can still be real which in part makes the playground so meaningful to me.

Also (B), Michael stated that he, at the time the idea of including the interview transcripts was briefly brought to the attention of the extended group, made a mental remark of a similar caution as Florian's, but didn't pay attention to it at the time. This is meaningful to me, not because 'look the teacher is human too haha', but rather because it enforces this idea of our autonomy over our experiments. We may be guided by, but ultimately work together with the XPUB staff. Which also means we have some inate responsibility. Again, a confirmation that our current projects are, in fact, real.

Why wonder the wall of text, when you could be wondering what's up next?

Expanding the Factory

This is not a drill. The factory must be expanded.

A frame built for the expanded factory

December 12th, the factory overseers left, so the factory workers had to claim new territory. A kitchen table was used to create a state of the art, multifunctional, luxurious soldering station.

Later additions to work on: stereo sound system, LED strips, file cabinets, ...

Pen Plot Heist

Resevoir plots / Penplotting panache

Ethereal library

^ click the header for a link to the ethereal library

Project pages

An index of selected project pages referenced on this page:

• Signal_Lost:_Archive_Unzipped
• Liquid_memories
• Collaborative_Emacs
• A_case_for_chopchop
• EtherPatches
• Plothatching
• Pen Plotting Panache