User:Thijshijsijsjss/Notes on The New Year

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Reflective Corner

Notes on Notes

By now, I think I can say I'm a fan of the wiki. I have been wikiing lots, and, generally, it has been a medium rewarding the energy put into it. However, over the course of the year, I have felt different pushes and pulls of this space, applied different modes of using and populating it, had different aims and goals in doing so. Going into the new year, I figured it'd be worthwhile to (briefly, hopefully) reflect on my wiki practise. Partially for my own peace of mind. Partially to get in the habit of (reflective) writing again for the new year. Partially, secretly, because the wiki might play a role in my graduation work. Who knows.

There are two modes of wikiing that are notable factors in propelling my wiki usage in the early days. The first being my 'diary' pages (SI22, SI23, SI24). There was -- is -- a lot to take in, and I have found it useful and grounding to process these thoughts through the wiki. During the Special Issues, this was very sensible with regards to collecting material throughout the trimester, that might later be used somehow. It being a public (or semi public) space played a role in that, too. Though our trajectory will tend to involve more individual work, I see merit in continuing this practise. I'm trying to embrace sensitivity, honesty, intimacy and curiosity more and more, and this space has proven to be one that is both inviting and challengeing in that regard.

Second, I made a Choose (Create) Your Own Adventure minigame the first week of school. I think I did this out of insecurity. It turned out to be a foreboding project though, with CYOA being a recurring theme in my year 1 interests. (Or maybe it wasn't so much foreboding, but rather this project being the first in a reactionary chain of succeeding projects.) The wiki is a funny place. It is so awkwardly, intimately public. And malleable. WikiBabble, a project with Alessia that turns the wiki as a instant messaging service, is another example of how this medium can be bend and pushed. I don't know what the future will hold for projects like these. Sometimes I worry about their longevity -- not that the wiki will crumble, but rather that my role in this place has a due date. After I'm an expired publisher (xpub darkest timeline), will I still be able to connect to these projects? After moving out of my house in Utrecht, I had to remove all postcards on my postcard wall. This was an emotionally laborious process. Since then, I haven't been able to return to these postcards, their emotional weight being too heavy. Maybe wiki projects, like these postcards, should be allowed to be time capsules. But there's a practicality to it, too. I'm graduating for myself, yes, but it surely will be nice to have something to show for these years, something to hold on to after leaving.

In the course of the year, there's been plenty more use cases for the wiki. Collecting SI material, working on methods materials, my reader, PTMoMNBMs, documentation. This latter use case is one which I have found to be surprisingly rewarding, the feeling of contributing to a community. This is the flipside of the expiration date: the reassurance that these contributions might outlive me.

So, what is this page? Without the structure of the SIs, I need to spend some energy on structuring myself -- don't you dare think I don't need structure!. I want to notice my enjoyment, and feel like a need some help with that. I feel the need to keep myself accountable to some goals and boundaries I set for myself. So, here we are: a new diary page.

Moving Day

2024-09-02 was Studio Moving Day. Don't get fooled by this name, it is actually a ritual of evolution, where XPUB1 becomes XPUB2 and XPUB2, though not present in the flesh, is set free to spread their wings beyond the confines of the studio space. Like our first collaborative task last year was deciding on a studio layout, it felt nostalgic to return to this once more. Empowering, too, seeing how our communication (and joy therein) has grown. It was a good day for me -- dare I say the best of the summer break. It wasn't even that spectacular on paper, but words cannot do justice to how different I felt from my summerly modus operandi. In turn, though, I'm dreading the post-graduation void already, realizing how much of my social life is centered around the people here, how much of my excitement is, too. Excitement not just for work, but also for being a person. 'Work generates work', and it seems like 'being generates being'. For now, just being here, surrounded by my lovely classmates, sparks ideas and brings motivation, and might perpetuate and even evolve my being beyond my boldest imagination.

A Wild Pen Plotter Appeared at De Boog!

Over summer, in attempts to keep the pen plotting spirit high and to become a little more social media literate, I created an account (plaatje.hpgl) to post some of my plotted album covers. Near the end of the break, I got a message from Tisa (who was later revealed to be an xpub alimnus) about a plotter at De Boog that had been collecting dust. Of course I was excited to check it out!

This was a really nice evening. Pen plotting is fun as always, there was some mutual curiosity (me about De Boog, Tisa about the plotter), and I think I got a feeling of some level of 'expertise': these machines don't scare me, but instead I'm happy to throw myself at them. Moreover, the feeling that this meetup was somehow the result of putting my work out there is new for me, but very motivating! I plan to return to De Boog next week or the one after. Who knows what this continued exploration will bring. Tisa at least was very inviting to a pen plotting party at De Book...

A Trip to Groningen

After SI24, we were invited by Groningen-based experimental project space SIGN to adapt / extent our Counter-Tourist Information Center project to the city of Groningen. This would be a residency with a working period for the month of september, and a launch event September 26-29.

I was excited to join this project. Not only might it give me an outlet for feelings of unrealised dreams for the SI, but also should it be an educational experience. Never have I done such a residency, and I hope it will help me gain some confidence.

SIGN_SPREAD_Zinefest_2024

For a few days, I went to Groningen together with Maria, Wang and Zuzu to experience the city. We got to meet Marie-Jeanne and Ron from SIGN, which was lovely. Against all my insecurity ridden control seeking tendencies, I decided to go on this trip without much of a plan, just to soak in whatever the city would throw at me. And I did. I mainly spent time loitering and doing some every day activities. Initial thoughts are summarized here. I hope to continue this unassuming exploring into the next weeks, and extent that feeling into the process of creation. We'll have to see how that goes, especially considering the starting school year. But I'm happy with the way I've been able to deal with all the stimuli while there, that's promising for my resolutions for this new year.

Show and Tell

Today, 2024-09-10, we got to formally meet XPUB1 by means of a show and tell. I showed and told as follows:

Hey, I'm Thijs. I use pronouns he/they and this is a photo of a zulip message of a photo of a printout of a photo. I was taken on Septmeber 12 of last year, the day of the previous show and tell. I am XPUB2 now, and this is a very existential moment for me. it is very inviting for reflection upon the last year, who I was last year, and for future prospection, I suppose. That's why I brought this photo: I still feel this lingering past self, but now framed in all these new layers. It is a very confusing feeling. That's it.

Left is the shown photo. Right is the new situation. I think this is worthwhile adding here, I still find myself in new layers, and I don't have a doubt the new studio and social environment will add more interesting ones still. It is a reminder that feeling lost can be just a matter of embracing kaleidoscopic vision, not to see all the layers, but to feel reassured that you're always moving to new ones.