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=why I write=
=Thesis proposal: Writing the Image=


My mom finally mailed me a box of stuff, which she picked from what I had mailed to her last year from the US. She said she couldn't include the knives because the government banned the mailing of all sharp objects. My immersion blender didn't make it, either.
latest: https://docs.google.com/document/d/17f8B3_IX4SmDIgM4GAb3n6-JAGGVsB6zSEMUwA72DLw/edit#


My mom sent the box from China. I knew she packed it because I found two plastic bags with the Chinese label "Bei Yi Department Store," a place she worked for more than twenty years and from which she retired at the age of fifty. My dad wrote the mailing label. I recognized his handwriting. In the field for "detailed description of contents," he wrote "Clothes, Books" and declared its worth of 1500 USD.
My thesis is a memoir in which I reflect on my practice as a writer and filmmaker. It weaves together the personal and the intellectual — namely, my study of film as a medium of expression, union and empathy. I have been jotting down paragraphs since September 2019. There is no particular structure at this moment, but I have noticed recurring questions and the emergence of themes, which are:


I found my old books. Letters to A Young Poet, The Book of Questions, a pink cookbook named Mexico, the National Geographic hiking map of Jasper National Park in Canada. I found a grocery bag I got on the beach of Oaxaca and two shirts from a slightly touristy shop in Chiapas.
: What are the images that I have held onto over the years?
: How do I use words to express these images?
: What are the meanings and the feelings these images carry?
: Why do I write?
: How do I (learn to) express with filmmaking?


I suppose my dad understood the value of these things to me by putting down a number ten times higher than the materialistic cost.  
The free-writing can be seen on this page: [[jujube/memoir2]].


I bought '''Letters to a Young Poet''' the senior year of college. "My dad wanted me to be a lawyer. As an English major, I thought architect would be a middle ground," said my architecture advisor. The present things are clear, I remember him saying, while the past trickles away. Or did he say "tinkles"? "Twinkles"?  I remember he pressed his fingers together to make a gesture towards something far, and I remember agreeing with the revelation. When he told me to read Rilke, I did not hesitate for one second.
I will start to produce via editing and re-writing and substantiate my observations with the text I read and the films/plays/lectures I reviewed as well as realizations from my making. Some key words I have identified are:


'''words from Rilke'''
: narrative, emotions, emotional intelligence, self-knowledge
: definition of medium, understanding the image, making without knowing all, craft
: solitude, loneliness, spiritual diaspora, trancendance


I found solace in solitude that year.
= References =


Years later, I know I write because I must.
Things I have read and notated:


=5 key texts=
* Campany, D. (2007) The cinematic. London: Whitechapel (Documents of contemporary art, 2007: 5).
* Chee, A. (2018) How to write an autobiographical novel : essays. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
* Kern, S. (2004) A cultural history of causality : science, murder novels, and systems of thought. Princeton: Princeton University Press.
* Farr, I. (2012) Memory. London: Whitechapel Gallery (Documents of contemporary art).
* Mamet, D. (1992) On directing film. New York: Penguin Books.
* Merewether, C. (2006) The archive. London etc: Whitechapel etc (Documents of contemporary art).
* Miall, D. (2011) Emotions and the Structuring of Narrative Responses. Poetics Today 1 June 2011; 32 (2): 323–348. doi: https://doi.org/10.1215/03335372-1162704
* Nussbaum, M. (1988) Narrative Emotions. Ethics, Vol. 98, No. 2., pp. 225-254.
* Shouse, E. (2005) Feeling, Emotion, Affect. M/C Journal 8.6. <http://journal.media-culture.org.au/0512/03-shouse.php>
* Stallabrass, J. (2013) Documentary. London: Whitechapel (Documents of contemporary art).
* Voìgt, Ellen Bryant. Image. New England Review, Vol. 13, No. 3/4, 1991, pp. 254–268. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/40243421.
 
Things I have in the process of reading/notating:
 
 
*Bird Cloud, Anne Proulx
*Limbo, Dan Fox
*The Argonauts, Maggie Nelson
 
== Form & concept ==
 
[[File:Ss1.jpg|400px]] [[File:Ss2.jpg|400px]]
 
Selected Statuses. A zine I made during the first year consisting of 50 selected status updates that I posted on Facebook from 2013-2018.
 
[[File:107291.jpg|400px]] [[File:107291 10.jpg |400px]]
 
Christian Boltanski: Reconstitution [https://www.vincentborrelli.com/pages/books/107291/christian-boltanski/christian-boltanski-reconstitution]. "Heavy brown cardboard box with title printed in black on label pasted to lid, containing 18 items."
 
== A return to some early thoughts ==
 
[[Jujube/memoir]]
 
== Photos  ==
 
do they serve as illustration, prompts?
 
: a plastic bag with Chinese label
: sketching a room: a series
: still from Scene 1
 
TBC
 
== Annotated Bibliography ==
 
This is a synthesis of some materials I have read so far. The annotations are colloquial at the moment. As the synthesis continues I plan to become more precise with the literature and succinct in my annotations.
 
=== feelings ===


* [[Jujube/synopsis#United_by_Feelings]]
* [[Jujube/synopsis#United_by_Feelings]]
* [[Jujube/synopsis#Feelings.2C_Emotion.2C_Affect]]
* [[Jujube/synopsis#David_S._Miall:_Emotions_and_the_Structuring_of_Narrative_Responses]]
* [[Jujube/synopsis#David_S._Miall:_Emotions_and_the_Structuring_of_Narrative_Responses]]
I want to evoke feelings. I believe it is shared human nature and thus a way to foster empathy. Empathy comes from compassion (understanding and love) for the self.
I can now say this, with certainty and humility, that I want to surround myself with understanding and thus create a world where people understand each other. If you see me in you, and if I see you in me, perhaps the world will suffer less.
A few people whose judgement I trust have told me, "nobody can ever understand you in totality," which I have come to agree. In trying to be understood, I finally become able to understand myself. And that's where I connect self-compassion and empathy.
=== memories ===
* [[Jujube/synopsis#Siegfried_Kracauer:_Memory_Images.2C_1927]]
* [[Jujube/abstracts-non-text#Play:_salt]] <--a one-woman play instead of text
Memories are images strung together. Words construct images — words come to me via memories.
A few people told me that my writing touches or bring to mind images.
That's how poetry works, I suppose.
I want others to understand, through these images, something about me, something about themselves.
=== the making of images without language ===
*[[Jujube/synopsis#The_Cinematic_.28DoCA.29]]
*[[Jujube/synopsis#Film:_A_Very_Short_Introduction]]
"A film is a story or a proposition... that is shaped, angled, finite, intended, whether it is a documentary, an art installation, a bit of gritty realism, or a full-blown fantasy... A film-maker is a person who makes such things."
I encountered the camera not through intention, but chance.
If you ask, "why the camera," I would say:
I took a chance. I connected the dots from my past. I was curious.
And I have been privileged to stay with it, hold it, test it. I have become decisive and considerate with its help — I am an ally, and more importantly, a student.
"And why film?"
I discovered time through film. I unearthed my intention about image-making. In writing and in making films I am drawing a very, very large circle, some sort of infinity that help me understand my being in this world.
I ask more concrete questions through the things I make:
Do narrative and personal memory ever come together? Is that the form of the Memoir? Or Must one become fictionalized?
How to evoke the sense from memory? (Is this a how question?)
Or, if I want to evoke feeling, should I construct a story around it?
=== causality, narrative, dramatic logic ===
* [[Jujube/synopsis#Stephen_Kern:_A_Cultural_History_of_Causality_.7C_Chapter_5:_Emotion]]
* [[Jujube/synopsis#Stephen_Kern:_A_Cultural_History_of_Causality_.7C_Chapter_5:_Emotion]]
Causality is important in determining narrative. Different time periods (cultures) tend to favor different causality. (Perpetuations of the unhealty, unresolved kind seem irresponsible.)
* [[Jujube/synopsis#David_Mamet:_On_Directing_Film]]
* [[Jujube/synopsis#David_Mamet:_On_Directing_Film]]
* [[Jujube/synopsis#Siegfried_Kracauer:_Memory_Images.2C_1927]]
I want to evoke feelings. I believe it is shared human nature and thus a way to foster empathy.


Empathy comes from compassion (understanding and love) for the self. <-- don't have a text yet; does personal experience count?
Narrative, in the dramatic sense, follows dramaturgy.


Causality is important in determining narrative.
=== other ===


Narrative, in the dramatic sense, follows a structure.
In writing the thesis I am also finding its epistemological position and discursivity. Rather than creating new knowledge, I emphasize the understanding and revisiting of existing knowledge. In a way, can films heal? If so, how so?


Memories are images strung together. Words construct images — words come to me via memories. I am turning personal memories into images... And I want these images to make sense to others. I want others to understand, through these images, something about me, something about themselves.
=Feedback=


I am still a bit confused about how narrative and memory come together.
03.10 https://pad.xpub.nl/p/jueartemisrita

Latest revision as of 17:08, 15 November 2019

Thesis proposal: Writing the Image

latest: https://docs.google.com/document/d/17f8B3_IX4SmDIgM4GAb3n6-JAGGVsB6zSEMUwA72DLw/edit#

My thesis is a memoir in which I reflect on my practice as a writer and filmmaker. It weaves together the personal and the intellectual — namely, my study of film as a medium of expression, union and empathy. I have been jotting down paragraphs since September 2019. There is no particular structure at this moment, but I have noticed recurring questions and the emergence of themes, which are:

What are the images that I have held onto over the years?
How do I use words to express these images?
What are the meanings and the feelings these images carry?
Why do I write?
How do I (learn to) express with filmmaking?

The free-writing can be seen on this page: jujube/memoir2.

I will start to produce via editing and re-writing and substantiate my observations with the text I read and the films/plays/lectures I reviewed as well as realizations from my making. Some key words I have identified are:

narrative, emotions, emotional intelligence, self-knowledge
definition of medium, understanding the image, making without knowing all, craft
solitude, loneliness, spiritual diaspora, trancendance

References

Things I have read and notated:

  • Campany, D. (2007) The cinematic. London: Whitechapel (Documents of contemporary art, 2007: 5).
  • Chee, A. (2018) How to write an autobiographical novel : essays. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
  • Kern, S. (2004) A cultural history of causality : science, murder novels, and systems of thought. Princeton: Princeton University Press.
  • Farr, I. (2012) Memory. London: Whitechapel Gallery (Documents of contemporary art).
  • Mamet, D. (1992) On directing film. New York: Penguin Books.
  • Merewether, C. (2006) The archive. London etc: Whitechapel etc (Documents of contemporary art).
  • Miall, D. (2011) Emotions and the Structuring of Narrative Responses. Poetics Today 1 June 2011; 32 (2): 323–348. doi: https://doi.org/10.1215/03335372-1162704
  • Nussbaum, M. (1988) Narrative Emotions. Ethics, Vol. 98, No. 2., pp. 225-254.
  • Shouse, E. (2005) Feeling, Emotion, Affect. M/C Journal 8.6. <http://journal.media-culture.org.au/0512/03-shouse.php>
  • Stallabrass, J. (2013) Documentary. London: Whitechapel (Documents of contemporary art).
  • Voìgt, Ellen Bryant. Image. New England Review, Vol. 13, No. 3/4, 1991, pp. 254–268. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/40243421.

Things I have in the process of reading/notating:


  • Bird Cloud, Anne Proulx
  • Limbo, Dan Fox
  • The Argonauts, Maggie Nelson

Form & concept

Ss1.jpg Ss2.jpg

Selected Statuses. A zine I made during the first year consisting of 50 selected status updates that I posted on Facebook from 2013-2018.

107291.jpg 107291 10.jpg

Christian Boltanski: Reconstitution [1]. "Heavy brown cardboard box with title printed in black on label pasted to lid, containing 18 items."

A return to some early thoughts

Jujube/memoir

Photos

do they serve as illustration, prompts?

a plastic bag with Chinese label
sketching a room: a series
still from Scene 1

TBC

Annotated Bibliography

This is a synthesis of some materials I have read so far. The annotations are colloquial at the moment. As the synthesis continues I plan to become more precise with the literature and succinct in my annotations.

feelings

I want to evoke feelings. I believe it is shared human nature and thus a way to foster empathy. Empathy comes from compassion (understanding and love) for the self.

I can now say this, with certainty and humility, that I want to surround myself with understanding and thus create a world where people understand each other. If you see me in you, and if I see you in me, perhaps the world will suffer less.

A few people whose judgement I trust have told me, "nobody can ever understand you in totality," which I have come to agree. In trying to be understood, I finally become able to understand myself. And that's where I connect self-compassion and empathy.

memories

Memories are images strung together. Words construct images — words come to me via memories.

A few people told me that my writing touches or bring to mind images.

That's how poetry works, I suppose.

I want others to understand, through these images, something about me, something about themselves.

the making of images without language

"A film is a story or a proposition... that is shaped, angled, finite, intended, whether it is a documentary, an art installation, a bit of gritty realism, or a full-blown fantasy... A film-maker is a person who makes such things."

I encountered the camera not through intention, but chance.

If you ask, "why the camera," I would say:

I took a chance. I connected the dots from my past. I was curious.

And I have been privileged to stay with it, hold it, test it. I have become decisive and considerate with its help — I am an ally, and more importantly, a student.

"And why film?"

I discovered time through film. I unearthed my intention about image-making. In writing and in making films I am drawing a very, very large circle, some sort of infinity that help me understand my being in this world.

I ask more concrete questions through the things I make:

Do narrative and personal memory ever come together? Is that the form of the Memoir? Or Must one become fictionalized?

How to evoke the sense from memory? (Is this a how question?)

Or, if I want to evoke feeling, should I construct a story around it?

causality, narrative, dramatic logic

Causality is important in determining narrative. Different time periods (cultures) tend to favor different causality. (Perpetuations of the unhealty, unresolved kind seem irresponsible.)

Narrative, in the dramatic sense, follows dramaturgy.

other

In writing the thesis I am also finding its epistemological position and discursivity. Rather than creating new knowledge, I emphasize the understanding and revisiting of existing knowledge. In a way, can films heal? If so, how so?

Feedback

03.10 https://pad.xpub.nl/p/jueartemisrita

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