User:Lor.ensō/contextures

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Contextures, a thesis by Lorenzo Quint

Thesis submitted to: Piet Zwart Institute, Willem de Kooning Academy, in partial fulfilment of the requirements for the final examination for the degree of:

Master of Arts in Fine Art & Design: Experimental Publishing (XPUB).

Adviser: Steve Rushton

Second Reader: Marloes de Valk

Word count: [approx 5000 (feb 25)]

Introduction

Traveling around the city of Rotterdam with my brother, who is in a wheelchair, has made me aware of the architectural, cultural and bureaucratic limits that define our movements. In this Thesis I will reflect upon, (de)construct and criticize Rotterdam. I will reflect on Rotterdam in contrast to the utopian postcard realities that I experience in the city. In this text called Contextures, I develop a "counter-mapping" ^[1] practice in relation to the issue of accessibility in Rotterdam. This will take the form of the transcription of a series of drawings which I made whilst writing Contextures. I will also use my knowledge and experience in world building with 3D software. ^[2]

The text will be structured by the following themes, each of which represents one of the multiple obstacles to getting around.

Socially - Personal, Affordable, Family, Housing

Accessibly - Disability, Information provision, infrastructures

Bureaucratically - Protocols of local municipal / governments

Architecturally - Buildings, ways, pavements, roads, streets

Virtually - Imagery, impression, media, softwares, simulation, games

Culturally - budget cuts, false iconism, counterculture, grassroots, community, festivals/gigs/events

*The thesis comprises a series of chapters*

*Each chapter comprises annotations of a drawing*

*Each drawing focuses on one (or two) of these aspects related to accessibility:*

Before I will talk about situations, locations and access, I will pinpoint my own relation to my findings. Consider this a small biography relating to me and my close family in order to understand the Contextures.

I am born and raised in Rotterdam. I have lived in the North/Centre of Rotterdam for my entire life. Which is convenient because of the multiple ways to get around to places. I have been diagnosed at an early age with Asthma, PDDNOS(now best known as the ../other folder of the Autism Spectrum)^[3], ADHD & SOTOS Syndrome^[4]. The latter had an effect on my balance organ and because of that I can't practice my Dutchness of riding a bicycle. Which is also answer to the frequently asked question: "Huh? You can't ride a bicycle?" which is then followed up by "I thought everyone in the Netherlands could ride a bicycle!". These diagnoses put me in a position in early life that is called 'special'. We have 'special education' which basically means your education is based on or around your specialty (or without sugarcoating: your disease/disorders).

My father (1957-2023) has worked in the government as employee/staff/advisor/head of IT all in the sense of ministries considering information provision. My father would have gone into retirement in November 2023. In the Summer of 2023 he had excruciating back pain to what we thought might be related to age, he was referred to physical specialists/therapists but when he went for a scan in hospital and in the end of September 2023, it turned out to be metastatic cancer in such a state that even extending his live through new innovative techniques would not provide him of the retired live he deserved: Often cycle around to do chores, reading and sometimes go out for entertainment or food, whilst being together with us. He truly was the pillar of strength in our family. And also in the sense of having a car, driving us around (mostly for my brother and mother).

In the beginning of October, he passed away after a short but intense time of illness. This was around the beginning of my studies at Experimental Publishing.

Since 2016, my mother has a medical condition. She has a stoma ^[5]with damaged/stitched colons. She is dependent of medical appliances such as olimel^[6] and water next to a stoma. She also sometimes need medical attention; she needs to go to a hospital for check ups.

Since 2019, my brother has non-congenital brain injury. He can not stand, walk so he is either sitting or laying. He has an electric wheelchair and a mobility scooter.

All the beforementioned things considered, disability mobility, accessibility and such are huge part of my life. Before XPUB, my previous graduation work; Happytalism^[7] was a critique on wellness / new age / spirituality which revealed to be harmful during the COVID pandemic. In my thesis A Guide To Nether-Hell : A Journey Through Depiction & Experience From A Nether-Divergent Perspective, I describe the damage of enforcing normalcy in relation accessibility and disable, but also the idea of an alternative in sense of subculture and community. ^[8]

As my father passed away at the beginning of my time at XPUB, I / we went through a shift in family dynamics and we had to make a lot of changes in our life. As I don't have a driver's license. My brother needed to apply for Social Taxi (which I will go into detail later) in relation to his inabilities. My mother needed to apply for the same taxi but a different service and also for domestic help. I have helped there but I also felt the need to pick up my own life. The situation has changed and we are slowly but steadily are trying to the make the best of it. Whilst being at XPUB which means prototyping and learning about methodology and systems and structurelessness and nudging etc, we are doing same kind of things in relation to the gemeente.

And from these points of view I tend to look at the contextures.

ConTextures are a portmanteau of the following words**

Con = "an instance of [deceiving] or [tricking] someone. / [persuade](someone) to do or believe something by lying to them." (CITE)

Context "the circumstances that form the setting for an event, statement, or idea, and in terms of which it can be fully understood." (CITE)

Textures "Texture is the physical feel of something — smooth, rough, fuzzy, slimy, and lots of textures something in between. Sandpaper is very rough — it has a gritty, rough texture. Other things, like linoleum, have a smooth texture. Texture has to do with how an object feels and its ingredients."(CITE)

Contextures is how I see the modern Rotterdam renders and promises. The rendered textures do not calculated the context of the city. They are a deception and a broken promise that sends out a certain feel of the city outwards to new potential buyers, visitors and inhabitants. Ofcourse there is no trust to be found in the realtor concerning postcard surrealities that show an artist impression before the wasteland on which the new building is currently emerging.

In this drawing I try to show / illustrate the complications of getting around from one level to another. Where the situations seem something beyond satire and going there via multiple dimensions. The Shitty City Situation where thresholds up and down are met in social boundaries, to accessible location and information. Through bureaucratic protocols of local, municipal and national governments. Paving the way to a city more appealing to the idea of the city than the problems of the city, rendered through multiple builders. But also to look at the places where the new destination plans demolish the 'raw edges' of the city but also the thresholds in cultural locations are painful. Which makes the overview a difficult one but that doesn't mean looking away, it needs a case by case study and that is where Contextures comes into existence.

These issues become invisible. When people do not see them. they do not exist.

Chapter Outline

The three chapters of Contextures group the above into pairs:

^{Socially - Accessibly} ^/ (un)Familiar barriers, social thresholds and unmeant ignorance I refuse to allow myself to fall in a pit of despair. This is a healthy reflection on the topics; reacting honestly to a complex of issues in search for (alternative) mechanism.
^{Virtually - Architecturally} / Innovation and Virtual Tools as development or demolition of reality
^{Bureaucratically - Culturally} / Zoning: friction between counter culture and bureaucracy, false iconism vs community

DRAWING_1/GET AROUND/ ^{Socially - Accessibly - Bureaucratically} ^/ (un)Familiar barriers, social thresholds and unmeant ignorance

This drawing is a cacophony of the examples I give in this chapter.

I_{n the top right, it is me pushing my brother from street level, to pavement, over the ramp inside onward towards inside.}

B_{elow the hall there is a front door view of where my aunt and uncle live. Which is a multi-threshold construction of tiles, bricks and pavements, resulting into a tight door which isn't wide enough to fit my brothers wheelchair into.}

I_{n the middle of the image. Is a sketched version of the Trevvel app-interface based on the ride booking/reservation screen. Above this screen is a sketch of the Gemeente logo with the word of WMO (law for societal support) and the number 6-8, indicating the weeks it can take before you know if you qualify for Trevvel}.

O_{n the right side of the interface. A sketch based on the front door situation of my Nephew's recently bought house. (Looked at above from Google Earth) Where we met up to meet his kid and showing us through the house. My brother couldn't get in because of, once again construction of tiles, bricks and pavements. With another social threshold that could have been helped, had we the knowledge of entrance, since we do have ramps to get past this. Wouldn't know if he would fit inside, though.}

O_{n the bottom left, there is the possibility of a back door of my aunt/uncle's place. Which we didn't use in the end.}

T_{he A to B line in bright green hovers over the different thresholds. To show what bizarre detours have to be done to get complete the route, not even mentioning the delays.}

^{Socially - Accessibly} ^/ (un)Familiar barriers, social thresholds and unmeant ignorance

In this chapter I aim to show the preconceptions that are often there about the multiple obstacles to and how these become invisible when people are unaware. When people do not see it. It does not exist.

I am zooming in from the big picture to a personal experience. The questions I'm currently asking is:

How does one Manoeuvre ^[9] or get around 'town'?

Starting with myself: I can not ride a bike, so I either walk, take public transport, take a cab or carpool with someone. My brother can not walk, he is in a wheelchair or mobility scooter, so public transport mostly isn't an option. He can be transported from bed to wheelchair, from bed to mobility scooter, from wheelchair to a car.^[10]

It is mostly the case he gets around with something that is called Trevvel^[11] He manoeuvers around in his mobility scooter for longer distances and for shorter distances, he uses his electric wheelchair. One would assume that this fixes a lot of problems, which is true but still he meets a lot of obstacles on the way.

Here's an example of a difficulty I encountered. I intended to go to a friends Halloween party. I needed to get there via metro and bus. I couldn't stay there, and the option of a taxi with a big group was too expensive. Another friend offered a place to stay, but that was only accessible via bike. I didn't go in the end, but that kinda struck to me. This wasn't the end of the world, just a bit shitty and I felt a bit left out, even if this was well intended.

The frustration I felt through being presented with a series of comparatively low thresholds made me consider my brother. The thresholds that occur along the way for him: from a pavement without hills or ramps, to bureaucratic, social and architectural thresholds are of a different order.

Here's an example of a difficulty my brother encountered. My aunt wanted to plan my grandfather's birthday at their place in Spijkenisse, but they were worried that my brother can't access the hallway, because it is too small and the chair might damage the varnish. The other option was that he comes in through the backdoor but that was also inaccessible due to the same compact measures and fear of damage.

My mother came with the idea that we would do it at 'our place'. Which means I have to 'work' for this: I sometimes help my mother as a Mantelzorger. [ informal caregiver ].^[12]

Every 4-6 weeks, my brother, mother and I have a little get together. Because, if I want to meet with my brother and mother at my mother's place, it takes some preparation:

The mobility scooter is too heavy for the ramp, he needs to get there in a wheelchair.

The situation installation of my brother visiting my mother's home.

For my brother to enter my mother's house, we need*:

- to reserve the parking spot before the pavement by addressing neighbours, people on the street. ^[13]

- to place a hill or a plank on an empty parking spot

- to place a plank/hill from the street to the curb

- to place a ramp from the curb that which transitions into another a hill(small ramp) going into the hallway

- to place another small ramp in the corridor to enter the entrance hall.

*The ramp and hills needed to be purchased.

- The ramp and hills need to be stored.

Quite the protocol on its own with these steps to make.

My brother has multiple ways to manoeuvre around, which gives him freedom. To get these things, there's a process that has to happen via the municipality. For this, he needs to get the 'social' version of Trevvel ^[11], called Trevvel Samen'.^[14] Applying for this takes 6-8 weeks ^[15] and is done through the Gemeente via communicative layers of bureaucracy.^[16]

You would say this system would be great, customized for the person. The wonderful idea of social transport and traveling together and having a customized travel based on your necessities. But it has been quite the 'ride' so to say. Concerning my brother and mother. It either can go well and as it should be.

But when requesting a ride, you can reserve a booking via the app or call the company. It just works like a regular taxi service. It gets communicated via some sort of telecommunication device :

## \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\"I'mavailable"\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

## //////"We have a ride from Boermarke 65 to Statenweg 127a" //////////////////////////////////////////

## \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'Yes I will take that one'\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\/////////////"Okay"///////////////////////

My brother then communicates that he has a ride planned. He sends us a message and we set up the small and large ramps. We tip the driver based on the fact if they help, are friendly, cooperate and participate.

There are a few social factors and flaws in dealing with these procedures. Not only from services but also to close relatives:

We wanted to book a ride that picks up my mother and me^[17] and then also picks up my brother^[18]. That wasn't possible, because there has to be an hour between rides. So we, in that matter, needed to be picked up and brought to my brother. And then we would join him on the same ride. We then decided to go separate and ended up being picked up in the same bus.
This ride was heading to my nephew's house.^[19] We would visit and look at his new house, meet his newborn. We were there on time and then the same family was not thinking about my brother's situation, were unintentionally ignorant. My nephew has these concrete tile stairs. So this house becomes a liminal space to my brother. It is highly upsetting that in these vinex type lifestyle arrangements of normality, there seems to be some sort of tunnel vision of new town nuclear family type of normality. A modern village in this Truman Show type of aesthetic.
Even though my nephew is a sweetheart and does not have any bad intentions, it doesn't come to mind to him that my brother has been impaired since 2019, needs to be taken into consideration. It was a hot summer day (just imagine the shitty day it would have been if it were raining the entire day and to just be sitting in the rain.
.. but we just continued our nice meeting as planned. And as our ride was there according to schedule, my mother and I were picked up apart from my brother, he was picked up the moment when we arrived at my mothers place. Resulting him to finally be home an hour later than us.

Continuing in Spijkenisse in the summer to the winter back towards the next organisational madness: organizing my grandfathers 89th birthday.

In the eternal chamber of terror (inside the trevvel bus)

Our solution became that the three of us^[20] went to my grandfather for custom version of my grandfather's birthday. My mother and me were picked up around 13:00.

My brother was in another bus and the driver picked up other people, so it took a while in traffic. A very important bridge in the area was under construction which redirected traffic to all of us. Meaning my brother would be at the birthday 1,5 hour (!!!) later than us.

Returning, we were supposed to leave at 16:45(as our ride was scheduled), but we had to wait an hour to be picked up. My brother started to get tremors (myoclonus ^[21]) because he didn't have his medicine (we assumed he was going to be home in time).

The way back was bizarre: The bus needed to pick up people in another location; and just before we reached my brother's house, the driver picked up another person at the Saint Francis Hospital (SFG) in Rotterdam^[22]. My brother was not doing well, getting pissed off and tired, which was influenced by and influencing his 'shaking'. When we were finally were heading to his home in Crooswijk. The last picked up person squished herself out of the bus when we were almost at our own space. Whilst we could have also requested the same but chose to be less egotistical.

The most recent thing as I am writing this, is Christmas brunch, where social and logistical struggles continued to new limiting thresholds and even lower deeper valleys. We planned a Dunch with my grandfather, brother, mother and me. My grandfather around was there at 14:30hr and my brother was supposed to be there at 15:00hrs. Due to the organisational clusterfuck at Trevvel, my brother arrived there around 17:00hr. Not only did my brother have to wait in a very insecure manner, at the same time, his wheelchair was having some technical difficulties, which lead to me pushing him up the ramp with x3,5 strength because of a double brake effect as a result of to handles 'hugging eachother' that weren't supposed to cross.

But then of course, the bus was there too early for the ride back. My brother was heated with anger and said he wanted to finish his dinner and that he would call for a new ride.

These are a few of the many stories of how customized so called "social" transport, still has plenty of drivers and systems that are not listening to the needs of the travelers. And the fact that people need to wait 6-8 weeks depending on their situation if they qualify for this?! My brother in this case ends up less healthy and supported than this Social Support Law and Customized Transport.

This is story exemplifies the degree of mental and physical preparation required to move through the city. There are MANY day-to-day transactions that require understanding and knowledge; it requires a municipal threshold; it requires physical support and aftercare and rest afterwards.

There are multiple obstacles to getting around, socially, accessibly, bureaucratically, architecturally, virtually. And these become invisible when people do not see this. When people do not see it, it does not exist.

^{/DRAWINGS TWO&THREE/Virtually - Architecturally - ..culturally?}/ Innovation and Virtual Tools as development or demolition of reality

This is a drawn representation of when I'm grumpy and just see what I called, yuppie central (Station Bergweg). The gentrification is truly visible. It is a bit of a paradox concerning neighbourhood improvement. On the one hand, it is great that we have local entrepreneurs in a former repurposed train station. But there is a certain elitist movement in their because the overall typical image of a hip food hall.

I see the stereotype of how a yuppy or hipster looks like, claiming a space or a stage in the theater of the street. Inside the coffeeplace/bicycle repairshop. There are always people catching up and working, and there is nothing wrong with that. I do not have strong emotions against local facilities. However, I do tend to think aggressively when I do my groceries at the local mall that is next to this new hotspot.

When I walk there see people drinking coffee, and getting their bikes fixed. Combining that with the recently opened Station Bergweg^[23], gives me a double feeling. The Eudokia square, is a local space where multiple groups of people meet or hang out, but also with their contexts, waiting for the local municipal building. I feel a certain barrier or gray area in that harsh location. And it feels like these new hotspots rather distract mask than improve it. These facilities potentially brighten up the area, but what do they offer to their location? My mother lives in Blijdorp and since 2014 there is a pizzabakery next to her place, which is truly an amazing group of semi-neighbours. At the end of the street, there Sajoer, which is a hip coffee/juice place that generates a certain 'gezellig' atmosphere on the street but also invades the street in relation to the people living in there. There is again the paradox of a meeting place that also expresses a certain disregard.

As I walk at the Berwebg in a very bad mood, I sometimes feel like aiming my mental target as an offense to what I call SusanBij(l)olence. As this portrays a certain socialite/urbanite elitist 'look how culturally I am' and I think this is the core of my 'being a Rotterdammer' which gets salty. There is an ice cold 'niet lullen maar poetsen' / 'opgestropte mouwen'-mentality which is part of the local identity and I think in the GeoPsychological matter that this then gets opposing towards 'Aanstellerij'. And this attitude is something that is a reaction to what seems to be eternal inaffordability and how this city is developing. But is it developing?

1. In this drawing, I made a triptych of three things I see/read about every once in a while.

On the left, the tower is emerging from the post office next to the City Hall. I see it when I walk to the academy and back and it gives me the 'live feed' feeling that architecture is being rendered. Under this building, the top surfaces of the Timmerhuis is visible. Which is a modern apartment complex that also 'gives shelter' to a brewery, museum Rotterdam and municipal services offices. It is quite typical that these are together, because in the Timmerhuis, the municipal office of VONK (the Innovation Center of the Municipality of Rotterdam) is located.

On the right is a portrait of the remains of the Tweebosbuurt (South of Rotterdam) with a sign next to it saying: WATCH OUT, INHABITANTS. This location carries the history of the social housing demolition and is currently being held up by the last inhabitants who are refusing to leave because of the poor conditions and unfair compensation of their next housing.

The drawning on the bottom is the inside of the Pompenburgflat. which spells SLOOP ONS NIET (DON'T DEMOLISH US). Havensteder is planning on breaking down this building to put three new living towers there. https://rechtopdestad.nl/beter-ten-halve-gekeerd-dan-ten-hele-gedwaald/

DRAWING4-11/Chapter[seeking for support]? CULTURALLY / SOCIALLY /

In this drawing, I stand on the tile / level that is being shown as the pragmatic meeting the context and the nuance. In the drawing, coming from one side, there is the familiar barrier of family that is meaning to help. With the best intentions. But at the same time coming from the idea of what I call VINEXWIJK TUNNELVISION.Meaning that there is a certain normalcy or set of ground rules in where some relatives are situated. It is a certain perception where they actually do care when they are speaking to us, but the care and interest dissolve the moment they continue their lives. To be clear, I am not holding them accountable of that whereas I would like to see a bit more self awareness in that. If you feel comfortable in the bubble of a nuclear family in the newtown of Spijkenisse. Be my fuckin guest as long as you are happy. But what recently happened is that these relatives project and somewhat enforced their normalcy towards me. And that is hitting to the core of where this frustration comes from. The sense of that I need to fit into this household and camouflaging that as a way of caring about me. In the same sense they actually do care and say postcard-like greetings like here for you. Whilst there vision completely passes our situation and doesn't really help.DD

In this drawing, it´s a collection of two relatives asking me what I will do next after my study, if I have big (economic) plans and how I will be onder de pannen. (Well covered). On the left they ask all these things that make me doubt myself. Projecting their vinexwijk tunnelvision of how things should be done. On the right is a self-portrait where I abstractify and still get influenced by them, even though they do not care or accept me. In red letters, there is a text saying: PLEASE DON'T ENFORCE YOUR NORMALCY ON ME. In green it says YOUR GREEN IS MY RED.

In this drawing, there's a reaction to the enforced normalcy of getting overwhelmed and distracted by their ideals which cause me to have a meltdown

.

Description of the week.

Dr Guislain

So then, looking away from the relatives, I try to follow my path to explore accessibility, disability interfaces in my progressive academic circles...

Martino Morandi suggested me to participate in Constants A cane, sticky notes, another body work session in the beginning of December 2024. The description got me excited for this amazing experience of new insights, As I am fully immersed into the subject of (in)access, (in)affordability and (dis)ability. The week chronologically consisted of Introduction rounds, overviews and logistics. There was an artist presentation about works concerning ableism.(Cripping the Space, Engagement Arts; compressed interviews on ableist experiences called Testimonies)/ privilege checklist and tools (some sort of manifesto in the shape of a checklist)

On this checklist, there was a questionable bulletpoint: Ik hoef bezoekers of personeel niet te onderrichten over structureel validisme. (I don't have to educate other people about structural valid-ism)

I raised both my question and my eyebrows, asking "how do you bridge the gap of knowledge then?" in which they responded in a matter of that they should be some sort of disability advisor and they don't do this for free.

After that, the day was concluded without the artist because they had to leave earlier.. And in the evaluation of the day. Complaints were made about their presentation. Which lead to a discussion concerning the context Belgian disability/coloniality and other national reputation and also that disability was more than a checklist.

The topics that then were discussed: - Amputation under modern slavery to unproductive people in Congo, - Gaza sunbirds > Team of cyclists from Gaza brought attention to the fact that coloniality/genocide creates disability. Making a list of disabilities in relation to inclusivity, ironically. To be fair, I don't discourage talking about these things. But this started my dissociating concerning the week.

In this drawing, I show what kind of arrogance I sensed when people say that there is no explanation needed but also how I felt first discomfort in this

And this drawing is exemplary of how started to feel abstractified, the conversation went out of focus, at least for me. I don't want to invalidate the above mentioned topics. But I was there for the sake of disability / accessibility, whereas above mentioned examples were more going towards inclusivity, identity politics and geopolitics. Which are all very valid problems with a huge motivation. But it dominated the rest of the week. The next talk was about feminist publishing and using certain emoji's/iridescent 'cosmic' colours and wavey aesthetics. I'm not a big fan of the Yassification(glorifying/glamorizing/pop culturally watered down version with i.e. spirituality/astrology) of institutional critique without any form drastic criticism. The talk was based on the diversity of lives and bodies with a rather performative -it resolved around '1 hour guided meditation to help you sleep better'-type aesthetic, chanting "Maybe you need energy ... confidence ... maybe you need self-care ..." and then suddenly dropping very intense topics in these soft practices: "maybe you need to burn patriarchy, take down colonial statues, flatten inaccessible staircases, eat the rich, shout, cry...` It was not working for me, pushing the earlier mentioned rhetoric. Not to be sour: there ís something to say about being tired and to create imagery of an ideal world. It is the theory of a better world that looks ideal on paper, but it still feels privileged or at least superficial. I agree with the idea of dissolved power structures and no war and all. But I honestly. ideally, I am not living in an ideal world for i.e. my father would have lived for another 20 years to enjoy his retirement if it weren't for his sickness. I am clearly not the audience for sugar coated storytelling, I like to maintain the autonomy in my imagination and all of this gave me the idea that I wasn't at the right spot.

Accessibility in relation to disability or vice versa, are different parts of an umbrella term, This is when I realised, my coordinate is not where the other topics were about.

and the fogness started to drip from the inside. Taking over the umbrella.

The rest of the week consisted of making the best of the stay, talking about, speculative scenarios and topics like Vernacular Degrowth. There was a global feedback moment where I expressed like some others that contentwise, lost. Missing dialogue museum workers / residents. I had valuable conversations and insights but it just felt like a huge escapist fever dream or like a very bad comedy sketch about progressive academic inclusive instances. Where you get together in a museum and mental health institution, but you are literally above the others. No talks with the workers, inhabitants with concepts or contexts of where you are. Instead, having a semi-culturally elite conversation.

This drawing summarizes my feeling at the end of the Ghent event. The reason why I signed up for that is because I wanted to do something that means something in relation to my experiences with the topic. We were situated in a space that felt familiar to me. The Dr Guislain museum / mental health institution / rehab facility deals with ideas of illness, sickness and so on.The project week recurred into (from my perspective) discussions that felt rather escapist, of course there is truth in relating disability practice towards the contemporary problems of the world, but that doesn't mean the things in our close surroundings aren't still happening.It would have been great to have gained insights from either people that are in treatment (which is a huge step for someone to make) but also the professional workers and other facilitators that focus on helping people get better or at least to make their lives a bit better.There were a few moments when people talked about 'identifying as disabled' which is also a trend that I can't get around. I have been walking and coping with my diagnoses that shape who I am. But saying that I am a "neuro-a-typical, lung infection with balance problems" is something that makes me laugh out loud.

It feels like some sort of modern day privilege to identify as your condition. As a comic sketch that comes to mind, that people have learned these words from pop culture and then say to someone that can barely function because of the conditions that they have, that this new person identifies as disabled and then just goes around telling other people just how disabled they are. And to close this thought bubble of yet another frustration, a recent internet finding was that this online (self)diagnosis obsession results into a blend of popular social media trends into one. On one hand, people are getting diagnosed and the developments and benefits of it are seemingly improving as people get to get a clarification and understanding that explains why their brain works as it works. On the other hand. People are now finding out and obsessing over their newly found out diagnoses, which could cynically enough, be called a diagnose of 'recently diagnosed', what I then explain the symptoms to be as obsessed with their new findings, going online and deepdive in sicktocks[cite needed] that sometimes just consists of skits of symptoms. But also is leading to an online checklist in a video of 30 seconds which not only abuses an attention span but also miseducates because it is a fuckin spectrum to begin with. There are now collective thought streams going around, navigating symptoms based on astrology. So that the place and time where and when you are born, define your conditions. ^[24] And I feel that in these surroundings, these identities are being blend as a whole, while their contexts and nuances differ tremendously.

So in this case the threshold on both progressive in-fighting and conservative close families are something that does not exactly help me or us get around in our surroundings.

The accessibility / disability struggles are something that are difficult to get around in. As my brother and mother deal with some things that are beyond their reach or control. I sometimes feel that I'm impaired by their disabilities. I can't help them more than I can, but I do feel affected by the situations and misery and troubles that come with it. It is difficult, because I can not really put my head in the sand, my own diagnoses sometimes makes it hard to cope with their troubles. The diagnoses I'm talking about are ADHD and PDDNOS.^[3] Because when I search for support. Of course I talk with friends and they are fully supportive. With other close family, I just feel they make things worse without having the intention of because of their normalcy through the demographic tunnel vision of living in a vinex ^[25]wijk. Which is a certain perspective that coordinates in a completely different way of dealing with problems, as portrayed in the previous chapter.

So from the idea of our (mother/brother/me), how do I imagine an ideal world?

In this idea I see myself living in a space with wheelchair/mobility accessible entrances so either bottom floor or elevator to my space. I see a permanent ramp at my mothers place but also at culturally legendary spaces like Cinerama.

The services of getting around my brother and mother need to be better.

https://www.rijnmond.nl/nieuws/1930343/vervoerder-trevvel-spant-kort-geding-aan-tegen-gemeente-rotterdam-we-maken-ons-grote-zorgen
https://www.government.nl/topics/care-and-support-at-home/social-support-act-wmo

https://www.rotterdam.nl/wonen-leven/vraagwijzer

https://www.trevvel.nl/trevvel-sociaal/uit-thuis-agenda/

https://www.verwijswijzer.nl/rotterdam/hulpmiddelen-en-aanpassingen/aanvullend-openbaar-vervoer.html

https://openrotterdam.nl/directeur-miniworld-woest-nadat-senior-klant-drie-uur-moet-wachten-op-taxi/

https://www.rijnmond.nl/nieuws/1799787/krijgt-trevvel-een-opvolger-hopelijk-hebben-we-ook-als-gemeente-geleerd-van-de-fouten

https://www.ad.nl/rotterdam/trevvel-altijd-op-tijd-en-gezellige-chauffeurs-of-gaat-het-soms-toch-nog-mis~a9f4d9bd/

https://www.rijksoverheid.nl/onderwerpen/zorg-en-ondersteuning-thuis/wmo-2015

https://www.trevvel.nl/doelgroepenvervoer/trevvel-samen/

https://www.government.nl/topics/care-and-support-at-home/social-support-act-wmo