The Hitchhiker's Guide to an Active Archive/Audience Engagement Protocol

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🎵 Play background Music: background_static.mp3

Protocoller: Initiate Audience Engagement Protocol
Performer: Yeah, you're right, two hours is a long time for everyone after all, I am also getting quite bored here.
Navigator: There are a lot of buttons we could press to entertain ourselves, but I am not sure how that will be interesting for our audience.
Protocoller: That would be a breach of protocol, but it does seem like unexpected fun
Performer: Let's just go for it, what is the worst that can happen?
Navigator: Agreed

SOUNDS OF BUTTONS AND SPACE

Performer: Protocoller, we've lost connection to ground
Protocoller: We triggered an unexpected pathway, have you performed a Mic Check recently? Maybe that could help us get back into the flow of the flowchart.

If no:

Performer: No, let's initiate Mic Check
Navigator: Redirect to Mic Check

If yes:

Performer: Yes, I'm afraid the audience has stopped caring about the broadcast and is not listening anymore. Protocoller, do you have a solution for that?
Protocoller:I will initiate the 'Audience Engagement Protocol'
Protocoller: Step 1: Invent the wheel
Performer: 'The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, 
 "'And the wheel,' said the Captain, 'what about this wheel thingy? It sounds a terribly interesting project.' 
 'Ah,' said the marketing girl, 'well, we're having a little difficulty there.'
 'Difficulty?' exclaimed Ford. 'Difficulty? What do you mean difficulty? It is the single simplest machine in the entire Universe!'
 The marketing girl soured him with a look
 'All right, Mr Wiseguy,' she said, 'you're so clever, you tell us what colour it should be.'" 
Protocoller: Step 2: Spin the wheel of fortune!
Performer: Will the audience please message stop in the pad to stop the wheel of fortune? Navigator, what is the status?
Navigator: Processing

MUSIC OF WHEEL

Performer: And the winner is...
Protocoller: Option 1: Rapidly move channels
Option 2: Go back to the start and do not receive any prize
Option 3: Guest Celeb Appearance
Option 4: Win a towel
Option 5: Call to aquarium
Option 6: Extra dice rolls
Option 7: Free breakfast