Special Issue #12: Radio Implicancies

===================================================================================

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> https://issue.xpub.nl/12/index.html <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

===================================================================================

=======================================================================

https://pad.xpub.nl/p/willthiswork

Lets not speak for now and communicate only by typing here. Will the thoughts be faster or slower?

Slower maybe. But its for the idea I had

Lets have a discussion here. The result, we can read out loud during the broadcast.

But... I will read you lines, and your mine. I got it even before you wrote it! Haha And more precise?

That we we will hear our converstation for the first time when we broadcast. Gr8!

So, i had this idea after speaking about techological frameworks and who holds power and experience this ourselves. But also about being comfortable with public speaking. Its a nice follow up on what we just discussed.

I mean... We are a bit opposites in this field. So i thought it could be a nice starting point. i am up! So, in a way it is a screenplay

Actually. We already started.

Do conversations ever end? Sometimes I feel like they are a continuation of the thoughts that we have.

They are.

So, what I thought could be interesting to read our conversation out loud. I read your lines, you mine.

The lines that have never been spoken before, some sort of an exchange of brains is happening here, I like it. As if I could become you for a moment, and you become me.

Exactly. But you can also think about what is in your head and want me to say. So we can also explore this power and responsibility.

I am manipulating your mouth right now. You are speaking the words that I want you to speak. You have no way to dislike it, or to not say it. If you would do that, you would be disobedient. And that would be valued in a certain way. //

The fact that I will be reading your lines will sound diffirently from speaking out loud whats in my head.

Sometimes I do have this sensation, that someone else is speaking through me. As if I would not be in control, the words just utter themselves. I am just the body, the machinery of thought that takes me over. And then I speak and I observe and sometimes its so beautiful, like a devine feeling. Other times it is intimidating. What if I say something that will be held against me? Something that I shouldn't have said. //

Here, we might be opposites. I usually think way too long for what I want to say that the moment is gone. And there is no real neccesity of adding them.

Adding what? The words?//

Yes. Sometimes I need some time to form an opinion. I like to go trough pro's and con's and everything in between. I mean. It looks like a diffirent experience in speaking for what you just described. I think this is really interesting in how it works diffirently from person to person.

Does it have someting to do with being an extravert or introvert, you think?

Yes, for sure. But I don't think we are born an introvert or an extrovert. I think it depends on how we were brought up, in what way we were thought to think. Were our opinions head and acknowledged when we decided to speak them out loud? You know, when we were kids. Or did we accumulate fear from not being able to effect the situations, or being "beaten" for what we said. Are we afraid of meanings that could just appear out of somewhere? To test them, to see if they are valid and on point in a particular social situation. //

I think you are right. But it's also about feeling the need to voice your opinion.

Does your opinion matter? Do you feel like it matters? I think this belongs to the realm of confidence, of self-confidence. Also connected to our past and how WE perceive OURSELVES in the midst of others. //

Let me think for a second...

Take your time. //

I like the fact that you used the word 'testing' here. This is going to be a bit weird for me to say this but, when I was a kid, I wasnt able to speak properly because of a speaking disability. I was stammering so much that I wasnt able to speak on command. Allthough I grew over it This is still sometimes happening today when I have to think and speak at the same time. So maybe, I didn't got enough time to 'test'. Ooof.... this feels a bit too private maybe, allthough its not a secret at all.

Maybe I am going to delete this later. What do you think?//

Woah, for me, it is beautiful to hear it. Because I believe that every one of us has a very particular, subjective experience with speech. Especially, because it is the first instrument that we ever played. We got the gift of it in the moment of our birth, and it is the instrument that we are going to play until the end of our lives. I believe it is a matter of connection with your own voice. In the metaphorical sense and also in a very visceral, bodily sense. The voice is something that never leaves us.

You know, there was this greek orator, called Demosthenes (I googled that). He had a stuttering voice. And then, he put pebbles in his mouth, he was speaking on the board of an ocean, with the pebbles in his mouth, almost screaming to be louder than the waves. And with this, he gained control over his voice, he managed to "clear it out", he overcame his disability and it was this exact condition that empowered him! //

Wow. Yeah, there are so many theories about how to overcome not only severe stammering, but also fear of speaking in public. From my own experience, it varies from therapies where you learn to help your diaphragm muscle push the air more evenly (first psysically by using your hands against your ribs) to exercising that just focus on how to overcome the fear. So, from physical to mental tricks. To add, these physical tricks are ofcourse to increae the confidence of public speaking. I never came across this techniques of using pebles, haha. //

Haha, I wouldn't try it at home, if I were you. I think it belongs to a myth from 16 centuries back.//

I don't have a sea in my backyard to train this.

Exactly! I believe there are many technicques, but they all kind of revolve around the two main categories: our body (physical) and our mind (mental), I agree with you on that. So, it kind of doesn't matter which one you choose, just by persisting in the practice and being disiplined and aiming for something else, this makes all the difference. And it's tough. And it's supposed to be tough. //

To eleborate on this, I was really curious about this 'radio' training you had you were talking about before. You were talking about learning to speak when there is very little spance, and spraking to filling in the gaps, am I correct?

Imagine, you are in front of a microphone in the broadcasting studio of the radiostation. The song just finished. The technician says, ok - go in the ether and say something. And you blank out. You have nothing to say. There is 2, 3 seconds of silence that seem like an eternity. You know that you NEED to say something, but you feel like you have nothing to say. What happens then?

This is what I was trained to do. To just start speaking, and see where that leads me. Because, 15.000 people are not supposed to listen to an awkward silence. If you say anything, you do better than not speaking at all. And then, I became more comfortable with this, went through my own limitations. I had to train a lot, also reading and free speaking and thinking about all of this people - in their cars, kitchens, gardens, listening to me at that very moment. Then, I began to wonder what I want and need to speak about. And I wanted to speak - not about whatever shitty thought that I had at that moment, or something random that came out of my mind. I wanted to speak about the things that seemed important to me and meant for the people that were listening. This was a big shift. It also comes with some heavy consequences I had to deal with in real life, in my period of radio detox. Sorry to speak for so long about this. //

I think this is very interesting in relation what we talked about before starting this written converstation. To conclude for now, what would be a good tip for when we will read this text later?

I believe that writing this text really works well in terms of being able to articulate more. So, half of what you say as a person, has already been formulated in our minds. We can trust our thoughts, right? And then just try out what the other 50% of the yet-unformulated thoughts have to offer. Ok, that's more general, but I think that we can take it as a tip for the reading of this text. It has already been done. OH! Wait, now I have to think for a moment. //

>edit, sorry, I overcomplicated things. I doesnt really matters. nono it was totally on point! It matters a lot. >>> So, the task here is to read each others' words, sentences, meanings. In what way to address this "other" that is speaking through our mouths? Do we mimic? Do we act natural, as if we were speaking it (and not reading it)? Do we lower/higher our voices? Do we use emotion while reading or just read it "robotically", linearily? What do you think about this?

There is no real need to perform. I think reading a conversation is already very powerful. as a transcript.

Could every reading be already understood as a performance? Maybe the form matters as much as content does?

The fact that I will read text is already a huge form choice. Its about hearing your thoughts in another voice.

Yes, I understand, it's true. Then I would say that we breathe, relax our bodies - and read this conversation as loud and clear as possible and go slowly, so the meaning can be clear. What do you think? Is that too much? //

Nope. as long as its free from any 'theatrical' style, I think it can work. But I have to add I am putting myself on the spot here since reading can be challenging. But hey, FUCK IT, right??!!!

YAAAA! I admire your courage, I think just the fact that you proposed this exercise tells everything! And, you know, we do not have anything to loose. And from every failure, a new world of possibilities opens up! If it would help, simulate that you are me that is reading the text.

You were just me, Mark.

You were just me, Tisa.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLL hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa so beautifuuuuuuullllllllllllllllllllllllllllll i love this, woa i wanna do it all the time from now on!

lol, since we were matched together and I got this idea, I thought you would be the perfect person to do this. <3 i think it is a wonderful idea, because it really leaves you space to formulate your thoughts. I think this sign for a finish is good to use as well >>> // And, to be honest, I did feel interviewed for a bit. I don't mind it, but I was also trying to figure out how to pose YOU more questions, how to make it more dialogical (as it already was). //

User:Markvandenheuvel/specialissue12readinglist