User:Tisa/special issue 12

https://pad.xpub.nl/p/tisa_reading

SI#12

12.0

Contribution: File:0 willthiswork.mp3 < https://pad.xpub.nl/p/willthiswork

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• https://pad.xpub.nl/p/12.0
• Seda Gurses: https://pad.xpub.nl/p/Seda_Gurses

12.1

Contribution: File:1 protocall.mp3 < https://pad.xpub.nl/p/willthiswork

Protocall - Do conversations ever end? 
So, i had this idea, an idea, a thought. After speaking and thinking and then speaking again about techological frameworks and who holds power and experience this frameworks and how we ourselves are powerful and how we ourselves experience that. Are you comfortable with public speaking and collaborative editing? Its a nice follow up on what we just discussed, and thought about, and tried and failed and experienced.The thing from last time that stuck with me was: Do conversations ever end?  Sometimes I feel like they are a continuation of the thoughts that we have. There is a pull from the pool of thought into a hearable spectrum. Sound waves that travel into your ear from my mouth. An echo chamber of thoughts. Ping pong game of ideas. 
I see. It's nice to do the streamlining live. I can follow your thoughts and you mine. And from there, we can see where we go, right?
So, what I thought could be interesting is to read our conversation out loud. I say your lines, you mine. And switch in between. 

As if I could become you for a moment, and you become me. To step into eachothers shoes. Yours are too big for me. Mine are too small for you.

Exactly. 
But you can also think about what is in your head and want me to say. So we can also explore this power and responsibility. 

I am manipulating your mouth right now. I have power over your conceptual apparatus, but knowing that I do, I try to be careful, to leave you space to think.

The fact that I will be reading your lines will sound diffirently from speaking out loud whats in my head. When I listen to the voice in my head, it is normally my own voice that is saying my thoughts out loud, but they only echo in my own brain. Still unperceivable to the outside.

Sometimes I need some time to form an opinion. And now, the one that types or thinks slower, might get behind. Behind the horizon of meaning? Or just trying to catch up because we are working on this right now so it's the most socially accepted thing to do, haha. Productivity. Production of meaning, we are constantly catching up with it. Marathon. Short track, long run. I think this is really interesting in how it works differently from person to person.

Or in this method, it almost like (googling the right word...) .... a relay race! Passing an object of thought from one runner to the other. Yes, but in a relay race you are not supposed to run back. Only forward? What if you want to give back the stick to the person that you just got it from :) Rules are made to be broken, aren't they? Yes. It's a thing I like to hear once in a while. While running or anticipating the passing.

Are we afraid of meanings that could just appear out of somewhere? They pop up out of nowhere. They are found everywhere. You just receive the talking stick and you have to speak up. Do you HAVE to? Or just can just pass the pass? I always like to have the option to NOT speak. That's a very powerful feeling I think. Unless it not driven by insecurity. It is both - a weakness and a strength. But like everything, always depending on the context that we are in.

I think you are right. But it's also about feeling the need to voice your opinion. To be brave. To know that you don't know but that you want to know.

Let me think for a second...
Take your time. ///

These sentences fit perfectly here. We can just leave them. Expand them? Continue or stop? Are we breaking the 3rd wall here? Wasn't the 4th wall already broken? Hahahaha The 5th dimension opening up? Maybe, since we are recording not speaking, and using it to play later. I got lost of the count. The walls are imaginary anyways. >>>> Like - inspiration - it is always there, we just have to notice it, wait for it, ... here it comes, I caught it like a butterfly. Butterfly effect. What do you mean with catching this butterfly? Catching an idea, noticing it in your own thoughts. Observing thoughts always, and then BAM! You have it. And then the idea makes an avalanche of other thoughts stream.

I just removed a sentence about the fact that I was thinking about this Ashton Kutcher movie. And then I saw the sentence after. It made me smile but not too loud because I thought the sound would be recorded. Ooof.... this feels a bit too private maybe, although its not a secret at all. 

Butterflies are very silent. I am thinking about zen now. My friend says: imagine, you are a mountain, and then every thought you have is a cloud. You have a choice - you jump on that cloud, or you let it disperse. Ooof.... this feels a bit too private maybe, although its not a secret at all.

Ooh sorry, I moved that sentence. Are you ok with that? The sentence about the secrets. I just added it once again. And I'll do it again, look: Ooof.... this feels a bit too private maybe, although its not a secret at all. 

Nice, its very performative. Thinking a couple of steps ahead. We have the liberty to do that. It's funny because the kinds of ideas make me happy in a way. It's like taking control. 

What do you think of power? What do you think your power is? What do you think? What do you think in the metaphorical sense and also in a very visceral, bodily sense?

Random sentences coming in: I don't have a sea in my backyard to train this. And it's tough to not have it. And it's supposed to be tough. And you blank out because of this lack. You have nothing to say. You are missing something there. An idea perhaps? This giant gap. And then, I became more comfortable with this, went through my own limitations.

I am not sure if we are still on the same page here. Do you want me to fill in a gap? Did you locate it yet? /performative silence/ I got it. Will you share? Yes. Is it ...

Ey, maybe it ends here?

Sorry to speak for so long about this. No worries, I was already falling asleep.

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• https://pad.xpub.nl/p/12.1
• A new fire ceremony: https://pad.xpub.nl/p/anewfireceremony

12.2

File:Myths mythods mythodologies.mp3

• https://pad.xpub.nl/p/ict

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• https://pad.xpub.nl/p/12.2
• Queering damage, Helen Pitchard https://pad.xpub.nl/p/12.2.QD
• Exercise w/Sandra https://pad.xpub.nl/p/damage_4
• https://queeringdamage.hangar.org/index.php/OPERATION_1

ref:

• Mary Nardini Gang: Be Gay, Do Crime
• Kathryn Yusoff: A Billion Black Anthropocenes or None

12.3

• Caretaking: https://pad.xpub.nl/p/itcare
• Protocol ict pad: https://pad.xpub.nl/p/ict

• Tisa, Max: https://pad.xpub.nl/p/vltk_1
• https://pad.xpub.nl/p/12.3
• https://pad.xpub.nl/p/VLTK

Contribution: Tisa, Clara, Ioana: insecurities hotline

12.4

• https://pad.xpub.nl/p/12.4

My contributions:

• I can think with my own head
• File:Generative operations.mp3

1

• https://pad.xpub.nl/p/EpistrophiesText
• https://pad.xpub.nl/p/ThereAreOtherPads
• https://pad.xpub.nl/p/ThereAreOtherWorlds

2

• https://pad.xpub.nl/p/RadicalSoftwarePad

PROTOTYPING

2

• https://pad.xpub.nl/p/prototyping190520
• http://espeak.sourceforge.net/languages.html
• http://archipels.be/web/map.html

3

• https://pad.xpub.nl/p/prototyping260520

4

• https://pad.xpub.nl/p/prototyping-2020-06-02

EXPERIMENTS

espeak -f ict-i.txt -s 150 -p 25 -w ict-i.wav

File:Ict-i.mp3