User:Thijshijsijsjss/Notes on SI23

Pre-SI

Before the launch of Special Issue 23 -- the wiki has been teasing me -- we have a Week of Workshops. I've heard the timing of these has been the point of much discussion over the years. Personally I appreciate them being scheduled after the December break. We've already worked together intensly. More importantly, we've not seen each other in a month. It's nice to start of with a personal touch before jumping into the SI.

Workshop: Creatives with Unseen Disabilities (CUD)

Karina Dukalska came in to give a workshop. I was pretty excited for this event, not only...

for its relevance within xpub,

the insights it might yield to better facilitate our group conversations (remember: emotional labour)

and its relation with the response some of us had after the SI22 release event at Worm,

but also

for its connections to GMT and interaction technology as a whole

(multimodal interaction, controller design, serious games, designing for disabilities)

and

because I must be confronted with an personal internal conflict I have not been acknowledging.

I am reminded that I once advised myself to always have a book of Elaine Aron on sensory processing sensitivity on my shelf. It is not there. Lately (lately) I have been dreading the unescapability of constant sensory overload more and more, not just mental, but physical, too, my eyes receive so much light, why won't my calves untense? At the start of the day, we were asked to express our needs at that moment in a subgroup. I was unable to. It's maybe my main takeaway of today:

Noticing a feeling, an obstacle or uncomfortableness is very different from noticing, formulating and voicing a need.

These seem to represent the bounds within which my whole spectrum of inexpertise is situated.

We were divided into subgroups once more, to discuss specific technologies and create the beginnings of templates to be used to facilitate certain needs when using these technologies. I had the pleasure of working with Chae! But there was so much to discuss.

100% accessibility does not exist.

After the workshop, I asked Karina about her feelings on AI. I've found myself to be hopeful once more. 100% accessibility does not exist... if there is a human design bottleneck. An AI powered service could tailor to an individual's needs with much more rigour, without it potentially being incompatible with another individual's needs.

Once again, I feel insecure about my wiki. What am I saying? Where's the poetry?

Workshop: Owning our Shit and Making it Together!

Figurative tension

A two day workshop by Nor. The first morning, we were invited to discuss one particular question in pairs: are you achieving professional success? Of all the questions to discuss -- and I did appreciate the moment for an intimate conversation greatly -- this was one I found myself surprisingly apathetic towards, maybe in contrast to previous years. I want to allow myself this apathy. But, with all the pathia I posses, let me examine why this is.

Professional success is an odd metric, for it is no metric at all. Tell me, o Muse, the math of many devices:
*d ( x , x ) = 0
*If  x ≠ y , then  d ( x , y ) > 0 (Positivity) 
*d ( x , y ) = d ( y , x ) (Symmetry)
*d ( x , z ) ≤ d ( x , y ) + d ( y , z ) (Triangle Inequality)
For any binary function d presenting the difference in professional success in instances x and y, one needs only inspect the property of symmetry to find that it is no metric. It is the individuality of instances x and y, their temporality, that prevents comparability. Hence, it is a function of both time and person, how to assess success.

All my previous so-called metrics have been turned into swines. 
I must now ignore temporality once more.
And I'm doing lots of stuff. New stuff.
In that sense, yes, I am achieving definition. Blow me away, Aeolus.

Finally, I may listen.

I did feel powerful Friday when walking back to Rotterdam Central Station. Maria, you might wonder, I called by mother that evening.

Week 3

SI23 Kickoff

A week that...
    has a very appealing off button
    does not know when to be silent
    might be convincing to bread hungry seagulls feasting on your evenings
    is looking for a room

This trimester we will follow a structure that is more customary for the Special Issues: Monday => SI with guest editors Cristina and Alice, Tuesday => Prototyping with Manetta and Joseph, Wednesday => Methods with Lídia and or Steve and or Marloes. I've noticed the nervosity I observed last week has persisted -- it must be my general state of mind these days -- and there was no Aglaia this time to introduce me.

That said, I also feel excitement for the new project. The self-contained, intimate sociality of the web quilt speaks to me (amidst the evergrowing confining openness of modern day digital culture). On a meta level, I have a feeling it will nicely continue the ongoing examination of collaborative versus distributive. I expect the readings and mon-technical conversations surrounding this topic to be wholly new to me though. I must remind myself that there is no expectation to talk.

Chopchop's reign / the domain it must serve

Git commit -m "Feed me paper"

Prototyping mini session and regularly sized session

But for now, we started with yes-technical conversation in a prototyping mini session.

cd ~/.ssh/
ssh-keygen -t ed25519
ssh-copy-id thijsoid@145.24.139.16

+--[ED25519 256]--+    proxy jumping --->    ost xvm_jump
|       =++o++    |                          User jump
|      @++ B=..   |                          Hostname 194.61.65.6
|     Xo= * o=.   |                          Port 2501
|    o =o= ...+   |                          Identityfile ~/.ssh/jump
|     .o=S+ . .E  | <--- My ssh keychain            
|     .  = B .    |                          Host chopchop
|         B o     |                          Hostname 10.0.0.16
|        . +      |                          User USERNAME
|         .       |                          ProxyJump xvm_jump
+----[SHA256]-----+                          Identityfile ~/.ssh/id_ed25519

https://git.xpub.nl/XPUB/SI23
├── README.md                  
├── .gitignore                 
└── web                        
    ├── index.html             
    └── quilt                  
        ├── quilt.css          
        ├── quilt.html         
        └── quilt.js           

Immediately we started with populating the webquilt. See here:

• The webquilt
• The table
• My userpage

I then had to disappear for a while (which upon reflection really helped my energy levels for the day). I returned to a state of commotion. In response to the famous Hungarian folk dance quicksort video, we were doing a human computing exercise, in which a pair played the role of a Git repo, and the others could pull and push. It was amazing. For all the times I've had the pleasure to be introduced to Git, this one had the liveliness all the others lacked. Polite pulling was a practise I hope we do not carry over to digital Git.

---

yay Lídia and Steve are back and hi Marloes has joined us

Editorial team 2, space, flooded, caretaker, did not do a good job

is chopchop a space or a place?

---

misc: left laptop, good result (walking) no wiki edits outside of school hours on school days Message to Manetta

Methods

Wednesday, we got an introduction to Wordquilt and were divided into three editorial groups. We chose the keyword 'space' to discuss today.

I did not pull my weight during this class. Not only was I unable to contribute meaningful connections to the conversation, I also feel like I failed my voluntarily self-appointed role of caretaker. I felt uncomfortable and have been embarrassed all weekend. Was my head flooded at the time, and was faalangst kicking in with this 'new group'? Sure, but that's no excuse. Even though there's emotional labour to do in a group, there's also similar labour to be done by yourself beforehand, so that you're able to dedicate yourself to the groupwork. I have been failing these preparatory steps.

Throughout the weekend I've wondered: should I discuss this with my editorial group, or not? Is it my professional responsibility to do so, or is it my professional responsibility to deal with this outside of class?

Groeiende niet helder omlijnde onzekerheid

Hoewel ik in dit wikidagboek open en eerlijk poog te zijn, behoud ik normaliter een afstand (noem het een poging tot professionaliteit) tussen daadwerkelijke gedachten en gevoelens ontstaan rondom xpub, en de alomvattende cycli die je hoofd zo kunnen consumeren, maar een oorsprong hebben in een fundamenteler stukje mentale gezondheid. Ik merk dat dit steeds moeilijker wordt. Wederom voel ik een tweestrijd: ben ik 'verantwoordelijk' dit voor mezelf te laten, of juist om het hier toe te voegen (waarbij de verantwoordelijkheid vooral tegenover mijzelf is). Alles voelt als falen en het enige dat ik wil is vervagen. Ik weet dat dit voorkomt uit gewik en geweeg met mijn mentale gezondheid op een ander, meer uitgestrekt vlak. Maar het onderscheid maken wordt steeds moeilijker.

Week 4

Monday

Go Away Green and Bye Bye Blue

Tuesday

Butter setup, ereader

Pen Plotter Party Prep Party

Wednesday

Seamfulness in my wiki entries

Molleindustria

New Ethereal Library // a temporary place

week	name	date
Week.. 2?	Workshop CUD	2024-01-10
	Design Choices	<-- Exercises on media and tools 2024-01-10
	Video
	Audiobooks & PDFs
	Image Descriptions & Alt-text
	Screenreaders
	SI22 Website	2024-01-10
Week 3	MASTERPAD	2024-01-15
	Pad of the Monday	2023-01-15
	Pad of the Tuesday	2024-01-16
	Pad of the Wednesday	2023-01-17
	Editorial team 1	<-- 3 teams' annotations on 'space' 2024-01-17
	Editorial team 2
	Editorial team 3
Week 4	Pad of the Monday	2024-01-22
	Pad of the Tuesday	2024-01-23
	Penplotterpartypreppartypad	2024-01-23
	Pad of the Wednesday	2024-01-24