Thin Cat

ALCP

Draft

第二天要春游，你脑子中盘旋的都是那些关键词。按摩师人妖女仆艺妓韩国小眼睛少妇华人偷情熟女巨乳丝绸精液点心为筷子口交。你看了看你的裤裆，屏幕里那个香港女孩吮吸的巨大阴茎，第一次把这个世界一分为二，亚洲和其他。

你的性意识从理解满大街的男科广告开始编织。那些金发女郎都不是你最喜欢的，你的最爱还是那些日本女孩。15岁你在同学家说黄色笑话时他说起了苍井空，和班级里那个鸡巴最大的同学。他提出和你互相口交。你看着他的脸始终想不起那些日本女孩，很快清晨的鸟鸣让你们原形毕露。

“中国”在中文里字面上意思是一个处于中间的国家。你的爷爷又在餐桌上怀念毛泽东，你的妹妹又买了新的高跟鞋，大学后你也学会了和女生精准描述你的大小和时间长短，性标志着你每段感情的结束。这儿的过去是男科，未来是伟哥，你对这次春游毫无兴趣，你总是像梦游症患者一样摇晃在人生的正道上，没有脾气。你从未成为一个男人。

像是只穿过了网吧那一个洞穴，你来到鹿特丹，本以为这里天气不错。奢侈品商店里满是你熟悉的亚洲面孔。招待员面无表情，往那桌白人家庭餐食上撒上黄色、棕色和黑色的胡椒来增添辛辣的气味，谈论天气似的介绍那盘意面的历史。

在霓虹灯闪烁辉耀的夜空底下，旋转着被无形目的驱动的嘈杂喧闹的漩涡。不论你怎么调节速度，与陌生人的距离总拉不出三米以上。

翻译色情片是你最擅长的兼职，你翻译那些词语的时候，就像随手丢掉橘子皮一样轻松，茫然若失的目光又落回杯子里。你的目光看着那些活在脚本中的东亚男生和女生，你们的命运就如此奇妙地交织在一起。

你想到有多少白人正躺在家里搜索关键词，老板对你很满意给你翻译的钱。他是个直男却觉得你很可爱，想要你为他口交。你每天吃的食物，让你想起你第一次射出的精液，混杂着大量固体的尸体。

你感觉你的阴茎皮肤薄得像瓷器，仿佛稍一用力就会破裂。为了给久立不动找个借口，掏出香烟，含在嘴里，故意划不着火柴，耗费时间。你仿佛被镶嵌在，忘记描画人物的风景画里。没有人，当然也不会有历史或车子。

Translation

The next day was going to be a spring trip, and all those keywords were swirling around in your mind.

Masseuses, maids, geishas,

ladyboy, Korean, almond-shaped eyes

young married Chinese,

mature women in cheating,

huge tits, silk, Cum Dim Sum,

blowjob for chopsticks.

You looked at your crotch. The huge cock sucked by the Hong Kong girl on the screen divided the world in two for the first time, Asia and the rest.

Your sexual knowledge began to weave from understanding the advertisements for penis enlargement and impotence treatment that fill the streets. None of those blondes were your favorite, your favorites were still those Japanese girls. 15 years old, you were in a classmate's room telling dirty jokes, then he talked about Sola Aoi and the classmate with the biggest cock. He offered to suck for each other with you. You looked at his face and can't remember the Japanese girls, and soon the early morning birdsong reveals your true colors.

In Chinese, "China" literally means a country in the middle. Your grandfather reminisced about Mao again at the dinner table, your sister bought new high heels, you learned to describe your cock size and sex duration precisely to girls after entering university, and sex marked the end of every relationship. The past here was andrology ads, the future would be Viagra, you had no interest in this spring trip, you were always swinging forward like a sleepwalker on the right path of life. You'd never been a man.

Like you'd only gone through that one cave in the internet cafe, you arrived in Rotterdam expecting nice weather. Luxury shops were filled with familiar Asian faces. The waiter, expressionless, sprinkled yellow, brown, and black pepper over the food of that white family, to add a hot and spicy scent. He then described the history of that plate of pasta, as if he were talking about the weather.

Beneath the neon glow of the night sky, there was a swirling vortex of noise driven by an invisible purpose. No matter how you adjusted your speed, you could never get more than three meters away from a stranger.

Translating pornography was your best part-time job. You translated those words as easily as casually dropping the peel of an orange. Then the bewildered gaze fell back into the glass. Your eyes swept over the East Asian boys and girls who lived in the script. Your fates were somehow intertwined.

It occurred to you how many white men were lying around the house searching for these keywords. The boss was happy with you giving you money for translation. He was straight but thought you were cute and wanted you to suck his dick. What you ate every day reminded you of your first shot of cum, mixed with a mass of solid sperm corpses.

You felt your penis skin was as thin as porcelain as if it would break at the slightest pressure. In order to find an excuse for standing still for long, you took out a cigarette, put it in your mouth, and deliberately failed to strike a match, killing time. It was as if you were set in a landscape that had forgotten to depict people. There were no people, and certainly no history or cars.