User:Thijshijsijsjss/PTMoMNBM/Unnamed Robot Doodling Project

What is it?

This project is a digitally self-published collection of robot drawings, each accompanied by a short text, that abstractly explore the disassociative effect mental illness can have. Though there is no current intention for a storyline, the collection can be seen as a comic.

The comic is published on Instagram, one new drawing and text every day, for 50 days.

Unnamed Robot Doodling Project is, as of yet, an unnamed project. Suggestions are welcome.

Why make it?

Currently, it is summer break -- a notoriously difficult time for me. I struggle with the transition to a mode of living with more agency over time allocation, and, in a bad spell of mental health difficulties, feelings of overwhelming anxiety and emptiness seem unavoidable. It is in these moments that I often reach for distractions -- often media consumption. This only perpetuates and often worsens my condition, and I find myself trapped in an every-growing maelstrom of paralyzing thoughts. So, lately, I try to apply the following strategy: any time I notice I'm overwhelmed and frantically flailing for a distraction, I draw a little robot instead. This is an activity I find relaxing, and in which I can find a glimpse of a sense of self. 

I have a love for comics, and have found digital ones to be really inspiring. So, here I find myself with about a dozen of drawings a day, that are ripe for some poetic charm. If that isn't an excuse to make a comic, what is?

I am not made for social media -- few things seem as stressful to me as voluntarily exchanging authenticity for banal optimizations to please an unseen but assumed audience of algorithms and people to project onto. However, this participation seems to be a necessary evil for the independent artist. I figure I need some social media literacy. In fact, as much of my current mental health problems are concerned with questions of fading identity, I hope this will prove to be a positive challenge, one that is also harmonious with the contents of the comic. Therefore, I intend to publish this comic on the much dreaded Instagram. 

(This project, unlike most of my PTMoMNBMs so far, is fueled not out of a desire to explore format, but rather a hope to process my inner world. In a way, I feel selfish for this, but my conversations with Senka and Zuzu have made me realize this is an area at the periphery of my comfortzone that is due to being explored.)

Workflow

The work for this project can be split into three parts:
1) Drawings: I have already described the workflow: whenever I'm faced with a moment of mental distress, I try to draw a little robot. I intent not to change this workflow. Although that is neither here nor there, as I've already produced sufficiently many drawings for this project. It is worth noting the the drawings are made with physical pen and paper.
2) Texts: These are created to accompany a specific robot, and therefore come after the drawing. As a stash of robots is already created, I intent to create text in batches.
3) Posts: I expect this to be stressful. Therefore, it is important to come prepared: at the time of posting, the drawing and text should already be prepared. This include scanning and pre-'post'-processing of the image and having the text digitally available. Moreover, I will create a template for myself as not to lose my sanity in the post-optimization process.

Timetable

Before the project starts it 50 day run, at least 25 drawings and 10 texts should be produced. Then, one drawing is posted every day together with one accompanying text. The time of posting is variable.

Rapid prototypes

Previous practice

I have endeavored into multiple comic projects before, like this one. I have also experimented with multiple forms of (fragmented) storytelling -- be it in (not so) traditional stories, games, ... --- and have worked with themes of mental illness and disassociation before. 

Relation to a wider context

Follows a tradition of alternatively published comics, like Tom Sidell's classic Gunnerkrigg Court or Maarten van der Meer's more recent Freddy. Instead of serialized chapter releases in a magazine, for example Weekly Shōnen Jump, these example both have a regular output of single pages or panels. This is made possible due to them being independently published. There are major platforms for this, like Webtoons, though these typically mimic a traditional publisher anyway. In the case of Gunnerkrigg Court, even a custom website is self-hosted.

A comic project that was similarly created as an exploration of mental health issues, is 100日後に死ぬワニ (This Croc will Die in 100 Days), self-published on the platform formerly known as Twitter 2019-2020. This project is fascinating on several accounts, one being the 'John Dies at the End'-factor: every page features a countdown of the days Croc has left to live, and this impending fate it often used as an explicit framing device for that day's comic page. (I was able to read this comic as it was coming out, which was a special experience. Especially as the final pages were released in the first week of COVID lockdown)

During Zinecamp 2023, I bought a zine (the details of which I will add here later).

Choices made

(elaborate on choices for...)
* Platform
* Release schedule
* Duration
* 'Commercialness'
* 

References