Kamali/outline
Draft Presentation
Camera — Photo Book — Eye — 16mm — Self-Directed Research
What do I want to do next?
What / How / Why
Camera
Finding a way back into my own work.
A lot of the time my work is about observing. Having a family that lives far away from me is one of the main subjects I deal with in my work.
The physical distance between them and me is something I draw much inspiration from. I find it very poetic in many ways, especially in times we’re living in now. (Technology enabling us to be closer than ever)
I look at them, I write them and I read their emails on a screen. I dream of them and I visit them in my mind. Sometimes it’s a bit difficult for me to put into words. It feels like I can be in two places at once and at the same time find myself not being present anywhere.
In the projects I’ve made, my role is quite passive. (For example, I made a film in which I look at small excerpts of video my dad sent me via WhatsApp. The screen is split into two or three moving images. One could be of a video that my dad sent me, the other would then be an image of me looking at that video on my phone.)
The spy cam was a way for me to take a more active role. I hadn’t made an image for quite some time. I went outside with my suitcase, with a camera hidden inside. Being distant, but physically present. There doesn’t have to be an ocean between people for them still to be distant and for me to observe and spy on them. This was a fun way of working out and rethinking an essential element in my work.
Although I haven’t worked this out to be more of a visual experiment, I was still challenged by it.
Photo Book
One thing isn't the other, but maybe it can be.
I’m interested in photography and moving image. I’m also interested in the boundaries between them. Coming from a major in photography, I graduated with a film. Somewhere along the lines I lost my interest in story telling through photography. I still love making photographs but moving image enables me to record something that lasts longer than a moment; thus giving me the sense of being more in control about what I want to show and how this will unfold.
I’ve had the idea of making a book out of a video/movie in my head for quite some time, so this assignment was ideal to make an experiment out of it. I made a little book out of one second of a video I had on my phone. In the video there’s a blue sky. There are little black dots flying around. (Mosquitos) I used semi transparent paper and I tried a couple of things out with this material. By making a gradient it became more visible that the paper was semi transparent. I also wrote a short text about visiting my family in Curacao. Sometimes I think of myself as merely a visitor, which bares an abstract resemblance to mosquitos flying around and visiting people where and when they can.
I get welcome kisses from my family and from the mosquitos
I hope the dog still remembers me
When I wake up the next morning I won't know where I am
I do not put on any shoes
It's 7 am, the tiles in the garden won't be too hot to step on yet
Sunrise is my favorite but sunset will also do
Soon my jetlag will be gone and I will not be able to get up so early
And I'll have to put on some shoes
I hope the dog will remember me
I get goodbye kisses from my family and from the mosquitos
Eye
When I woke up this morning, I thought time was going backwards
Footage that my grandfather shot combined with a text I wrote.
When visiting my family I found two big boxes of footage my grandfather shot. They’re all 8mm. I had a couple of them digitized and I am still fascinated about them.
I’m still trying to find out for myself what I think what makes them so interesting to work with. My grandfather has a way of filming and looking at things that holds my curiosity. Zooming in, zooming out. A lot is happening because of the small snippets he took. The things he filmed are also very diverse. He visited a centre for blind people and made a small documentation about it (he was an eye surgeon), he also has footage of him performing surgery. On one of those same rolls of film he filmed my grandmother holding a parrot in her arms. The switch between those two worlds is very surreal at times. Something as gruesome as peering a scalpel in an eye alternated with loving images of his family. My dad once told me that when they used to look at their vacation photos via the projector, sometimes an image of an eye would pop up; or an image of a child with strabismus. (He was specialised in operating on children who had strabismus)
Working with images that I do not partake any role in is, at this point, an obvious recurring thing. With my own writings I am trying to make something happen that has not happened yet.
https://vimeo.com/user59220710/review/399005138/97850bd86c (password: eye) (quality not so good good)
16 mm
Trying not to make a masterpiece.
At this workshop we made a lot of little experiments. We had around 10/15 metres of film and went outside to shoot some things. Esther had told us not to make a masterpiece and I think we succeeded. We fooled around a lot and just made shots of each other.
This workshop was interesting for me because of the fact I’m working with 8mm, be it that I haven’t shot / made it myself. To have a look in the process was very insightful. I’ve become a member at WORM and am looking forward to work with 16mm.
Self-Directed Research
I’ve been reading feminist literature. As a female filmmaker I think it’s important to be aware about what it means to be female in the industry. It helps me understand the world around me and be a part of dismantling the patriarchy.
This part of my research is something I want to have in the back of my mind while making work. My work isn’t about feminism but if you read between the lines there are elements that are relevant. I’m not aware of them in the process but in the outcome I can sometimes point them out. I think this is something I should write more about.
I’ve been reading “My Mother Laughs” by Chantal Akerman and it helps me with my writing. She writes very short sentences, very to the point. About exactly what she feels and what is happening around her. It’s very touching.
I’m going to look more into found footage / archival works / narrative and story telling.
Books I have (read or not read yet)
All About Love – Bell Hooks
Your Silence Will Not Protect You – Audre Lorde
Living a Feminist Life – Sara Ahmed
My Mother Laughs – Chantal Akerman
Another Gaze, A Feminist Film Journal
Recommendations I have gotten:
Rashomon
Films by Bill Morrison
Angela Carter – Company of wolves (reading)
Vladimir Propp – Mythology of the folktale
What do I want to do next
(I'm still trying to figure this out so this is really a rough draft)
What
I want to make a film. I want to keep analysing and using my grandfathers’ footage.
Find something more specific I can do research about that is relevant for the work.
How
I’m going to make a document and write in short about every piece of footage: what I’m seeing / what I’m thinking.
By doing research about the use of found footage, narratives and story telling.
Why
As an attempt to look back to what has already been made and done. Attempting to take this and make it my own. As means of experimenting with how I can be close to my family, being close with images. I think my family is a good starting point. It makes sense to me to start writing about what I know, what I remember. From that point of view I can also start thinking about what I don’t know and what I don’t remember. Using my imagination to fill in the gaps, it can go in all directions.