User:Pleun/project/dissectingbras

The 23rd of September was the opening of an in-house exhibition I was invited to be part of. There was an experience I had had a month or so before which stuck with me, which I wanted to turn into a scene.

Scene
I've been thinking about existing structures in my life and to which extent I consciously made the decision to apply them. One of them was me wearing a bra every day. This simple action stems from a choice I had made in my early teens to conform to societies norms. Since then I had unconsciously repeated the action every day of my life while I personally practically do not need this piece of clothing. After the realization, I dissected my old bras on my bed in an afternoon where I decided I wanted to get rid of all the unnecessary painful, irritating or parts that are meant to shape or cover up. The action felt liberating as if I was shedding old versions of me who cared about "fitting in" and "conforming to" rather than to actually think about the "why". A small action, but a personal victory. In my head, I had named similar victories by a sentence a person I once knew had said: "Onverwerkt leed hoort niet op het podium", which translates to "unprocessed suffering shouldn't be on stage", which for me meant: I was supposed to figure these parts of life out alone, and share them once they are worked through. A statement that I thoroughly disagreed with.

A few days later I felt the need to open up this conversation, but doing so by repeating the action and taking it further. I was thinking about doing it at the Performance Bar, but it didn't meet the first few criteria that I had set the moment I thought of it as a work instead of an activity alone.

A thing I would like to add to this story: This is one of the most personal works I've done until now, as I am used to making work that isn't based on a personal story but rather a personal interest in a structure or network in society and I rarely or actually never refer back to my first initial personal contact with that topic in such a direct way.

Later when I was asked to join the expo the personal environment of the expo – a home – really fit the scene, which was one of the criteria. Additionally, the expo gave me the opportunity to try to accomplish a few personal goals I had set.

Project
I wanted to:
- dissect bras
- in a very repetitive, (repeating specific steps)
- durational performance, (2 or 3 hours)
- as myself (not in character: I can act, breath, talk, walk, sit as myself)
- in work-mode. (the version of myself I'm representing in that moment is myself working. I behave as if I'm doing my job, which is dissecting bras at that moment: I'm focused on the job, in one spot without breaks with toilet breaks as the only exception)

The audience can walk in and out of the room as if I'm a work in the exhibition,
- but I want to bridge the distance between work and visitor, with tools like communication and by creating the vibe of a safe space
- engage with the audience while the performance take part

In this version I thought about but decided not to include:
- the friends (or stories from the friends) I collected the bras from, (this was still about the personal victory which I first felt a need to share)
- any form of documentation, (as I want to centralize direct contact with my audience it wouldnt work to tape this and repeat it in any form later)
- a workshop form (I need to figure out the exact steps myself first, a workshop could be formed later if I felt it would add to the work, but my ideal would be to inspire people to repeat this at home)
- any form of added media, (the action and communication is the center of the work and the simplicity and directness of the action is stronger on its own for this work)

Goals and criteria
- I want this to be a quick project, which will serve as a test/research method for future work - Create an environment or "stage" yourself in a way you are in direct contact with your audience
- Create a safe space where the audience feels compelled to speak to you about the work
- Create a safe space where the audience feels compelled to touch the work
- Repetition and durational performances are of interest to me and have been a part of every performance I did to this point (One great example of both I saw the 16th of September in de Schouwburg
- where you give the audience the freedom to engage to whatever extent they feel they need.


Questions
-

Method or structure:
- I already mentioned repetition. Repetition of specific steps
- Tools: I thought about the tools