Luca-thesis outline: Difference between revisions

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==== chapters ====
==== chapters ====
==== 1) solo (I (me-mine) mode of address) ====
==== 1) solo (I (me-mine) mode of address) ====
This is ME solo
This is
My face
My body
This is me
Me is a somebody with a body
A someone
One being
Is me
this is me being
this is me being be yond
this is me trying to be
This is me being nothing
this is me being at least something
Thinks
This is me being thinks
This is feeling things
Good
Bad
Strong
Soft
this is me being me
this is me being myself
this is me being and i
this is me being animalistic
this is me being dutch
this is me being small
this is me being tall
this is me being without an audience
this is me being trying to be in love
this is me being loving and kind
this is me being free
this is me being present
A present something to be raped around and let go off
Something to give away
This is me given
This is me being raped around a curtain
This is me being unseen
this is me being human
this is me being a ‘viswijf’
this is me being a cook
this is me being
this is me being
this is me being
this is me thinking about children
this is me thinking
this is me thinking about the rest of my life
this is me thinking like the pope
this is me thinking forward
this is me thinking backward
this is me thinking a bit to the side
this is me thinking like you
this is me thinking about you
this is me thinking like no one
this is me thinking just after i had no sleep and a party before that were i felt alone and to shy to dance and to dom to talk and small for the adult, to tall for the kids
this is me thinking like barbie
this is me thinking like ken
this is me thinking like obama
this is me thinking money
this is me thinking like marina
abramovic
otero verzier
sirtis
this is me thinking like an adult taking responsibility
this is me thinking i can not even take care of myself
this is me thinking like liking a ice cream but not knowing which taste I shall take
this is me taking
this is me giving
this is me grieving
this is me grieving about …
About feeling things
this is me grieving with ..
It’s me  it’s me
This
Is
Me. on. my. way.
this is me going out
oud of it all,
this is me having no energie to talk, no talking to, no one, no talking at all,, all do i mostly like talkinggggg
aaaaaa
LLLOOOOTTTT
lot
lots lots of talking
this is me talking
It’s me at a part
this is me at a party confronted with a feeling; the feeling off “im alone allllllllll a. lone.”
All one?
this is me being funny
Is it?
lots
of
it
of
fun
fun,fun,fun
this is me having fun
this is
is it?
It’s me at the supermarket trying to remember what i needed
this is me getting angry and showing it
this is me being angry and hiding it
this is me playing hide and seek
this is me manly
this is me féminin
This is me not being man nor woman
Simply being i guess
I guess?…
Guessing that is something new
This is me guessing
This is me in panic
This is me in the water
this is me having a problem with my skin and the way i feel in it
the way I’m feeling in that skin, it’s not the way i wanna feel within that skin i wanna feel some little softness some little something i wanna feel my skin but this is me not feeling anything
this is me realizing I could never be in some one el’s its skin, i will only have this space to life within
this is me pretending to be free
this is me looking to you
for you
you without me
maybe a …uhhm
no i don’t know
me not knowing wanting to know it all
alll allllllllllll lalallala didadidoedada
dod dodadaid dododododo
do something go on and do something
Things that matter
things that are important and have impact
one day this face my will have
freckles, lines,ways
me looking to the future
me being the future
this is me looking cool
me looking full
seeing a bird
seeing blue
a blue color 
sky?
sea?
Birthday cake with blue marsepein?
water?
filthy water
Do you still see me?
this is
Come on look, can you see or hear me?
listen
this is me listening
to my mother's voice telling me stories from the children's bible
Listening to a song of a movie that had a strong impact on me
listening
this is listening
to my belly
listening at people talking
this is me listening at people talking
about
about
there
life
lifess
this is be me believing in today
and believing in tomorrow
some you some me
som som som
handsome
Do you find this handsome?
this is me peaceful
full of it all
all that jazz
and all that
Ass
All the assholes in the world and mine
this is me being a child
this is me wanting to have a child
this is me getting children
this is me having my on mother as a child
this is me being mother of all
this is me mother of my mother
this is me being moddder
‘modder, modder’ it’s a dutch word
this is me having no words for the other I always waited for, always wanted
to
get
to know
The other
always there
but now for the first time for the very first time
in my life
no words for life
just ‘modder’
this is me building a house
looking for a new color
this is having a lot, wanting more
this is me having no dignity
no insanity
no reality
maybe
yes maybe
we should all believe
believe in me
maybe
not
maybe
stop with all the maybes
this is me ….maybe
maybe..
beyond the apple tree there’s another tree
and on that tree
hangs a apple
and in that apple
there’s a tunnel
it's a long, long tunnel
it’s a narrow tunnel
you can not walk straid
You have to crawl
it takes hours, days,takes lifes
Infact
there’s no ending in the tunnel
There is
this is and that is
and a bit of this and all that
There is this with
and without
This is a moment I feel something is going to happen something big
something unexpected
this is me in fantasie
this is me singing
loud
soft
married
unmarried
this is me being one with nature
this is me being touched by God, but not physically i wouldn't want that, no that would be strange…
not being hungry for a while
no laughter for a while
not feeling like doing anything
like doing something
things, ooh things
this is me in the house of a friend of mine, my friend is not there but i am
the friend left the house, left the city left to another place, a place i don’t know
this is me in my place
this is me in my  house
this is leaving my house
this is not leaving
don’t open the curtains
a tiny bird
no a small one
a tinny and
This is not saving the world.
save me.
no.
not wanting to be saved.
This is living until the end of my life.
This is being afraid of traffic.
truth.
lies.
losing my parents 
this is dancing in the park
this is being touched by a letter
me writing a letter to you
this is me touched by a letter i wrote to myself
me writing a letter to you
the
un
known
you.
writing little letters lots of words
I do not think you notice how much effort i put in this
this is not liking the heat of the sun
this is believing my life will be more meaningful when i win that golden bracelet with stars on-top
this is being the fat lady who sings when it’s all over
this is me unable to enjoy sexual pleasures
this is making a spectacle of myself 
this is not understanding everything so i can not make you understand so that means that you can not make a other understand so then maybe no one will ever understand
this is not knowing
not knowing how to tell my parents i forgot them
this is not knowing what is expected from me
this is not being expected
this is me wanting to feel something
big feelings
trying to hear almost nonexistent sounds
This is me starting crying over nothing
It's me!  it's me!
This.
Is. 
me.
This is me talking to my sister about what I think is good about her and what things she can work on.
this is me talking to myself
this is me talking on the phone to someone i hope i can call a friend
this is me thinking
this is me thinking about thinking
this is me thinking about the rest of my life
this is me at the party, I was really looking forward to this party. A lot of cool people would have been here if it wasn't for the rain, I could just go home… no i just arrived, maybe try to talk to some people, people i don’t know
Yet
you don’t know jet
go on
be surprised
Come on, go for it, meet new people, maybe go home with a smile on your face, you never know until you try yyy.
trying
this is trying
gggggggggggggggggiving this moment a try
this is me in panic
this is me looking for you looking for me
trying
I always was i’ll always be
trying to be
before there was
before there will be
some you some me
sommee
this is hoping
I hope
I hope life is good to all you
hope life is good to you
hope you love
hope you grieve in order to relief
hope it didn’t mind what i did or do or am going to
hope this was not all about me
hope also a bit about you
this is
it’ s  my face
it is in the beginning and the end


==== 2) duet (we [us -they- their's] mode of address) ====
==== 2) duet (we [us -they- their's] mode of address) ====

Revision as of 15:40, 25 January 2022

Thesis Outline

Question:

IF WE PLAY DOES THAT MEAN ITS NOT REAL(ITY) ?

Description of two previous video works

THIS IS AND THAT IS AND A BIT OF THIS AND A LOT OF THAT (2018) Is a 10 minutes video in which you see a series of moving portraits of Luca. In every portrait, Luca looks totally different. The video is guided by a narration that speaks an repetitive test always starting with the words: “THIS IS ME…..” The person you see in the image always may look different in every scene but the narrator tells you it's always the same person. The video plays with the versatile aspects of beliefs concerning 'identity', a research into the intriguing differences, the moldability of 'being' and in surge of a kind of essence. We search for authenticity. Yet we want to be accepted, to converse, to belong to one another in risk of losing that very authenticity. The complex game that plays with the urge for acceptance, recognition and the need for authenticity is central to this work.

THIS IS THEM (2020) Is a video in which you see Branda and Hilda playing in a room. They play different characters and scenes. Every scene is introduced by the narrator, always starting with the words; “THIS IS THEM…” Branda and Hilda long for a big life worth living but what does that mean a big life? Who influenced them to believe what is worthy? Branda and Hilda have such a grand idea of what life should be like that they are scared to go outside and live beyond their imagination. So they stay and try to create a vibrant life right there in that room. The question that this work raises is if staying in your room and creating words with your imagination is less of a real life compared to going outside into the world full of people where you can not control all that is happening.


Intention for a new piece

Something that fascinates me is how we as humans seek to connect with others and therefore ourselves - what we will do to experience connection and what kind of connection we allow. I think we often try to be "something" so we can belong to a certain group or movement in order to experience contact. This is how we create our story and our identity … In my work, the central focus is on people and their search for identity. Who are we? Where do we belong? How malleable is our identity? Why do we want confirmation from others? I try to show that people never know or possess one identity. Our identity consists of many layers and different "characters" that we discover and alternate in a playful way, in order to create our own story. I am intrigued by group dynamics: which role/identity someone takes within a group, but also that groups create their identity by opposing other people and groups. People are often looking for confirmation, but this search may lead to alienation, isolation and the feeling of "not being alive". These elements (identity and group dynamics) are in line with my fascination for people who constantly present themselves to the outside world. How do we want other people to see us? How do we want to see ourselves? I do not find this self-conscious urge for presentation to be exclusively negative: I think that the human being is a playful being at its core and that the different ways of presenting yourself to the outside world are in line with our urge to play. By self-presentation, people can playfully create an identity and reality with which he / she can approach and avoid the world. I believe playing is both a flight and a search for genuine contact with ourselves and the other. With the making of a new video called THIS IS US I want to further investigate how a small group of people surge for how they are individually and as one.


THIS IS US (2021) In THIS IS US we see a group of three people in five different scenes. Every scene shows how the group wants to be identified as a whole. “ I belong therefore I am ”. The style of the video is characterized by the four performers, wearing distinct coherent costumes in a minimal scenographic setting. THIS IS US has a non linear dramaturgie, and can be seen as a collage of moments. In this film I'm applying the same restrictions to investigate playing but this time going further by questioning how identity is constructed within a group context. I believe this work can build on the previous works, and has an opportunity to show how people change their identity for the sake of belonging to the other. What role/identity does someone take within a group, and how fast can this role change? This work can also make a new step in showing how groups create their identity by opposing other people and groups. Next to that I wish to make THIS IS US to further discover a (for me) form of dramaturgy. That means I want to look for a dramaturgy that offers me the ideal combination of abstract images and a narrative form. The video works that I have made so far are formalistic and visual, and I have a longing to add a narrative layer to it. I am fascinated by narrative structures that are non-linear and are not based on the direct action of a character, but on his or her psychological inner world. After all, the complicated inner world of man is not linear, but fragmented and contradictory. I want to deepen this by investigating the narrative structures of Roy Anderson and diving into the work of Federico Fellini. In the case of Anderson, because his story structure is characterized by a fragmentary approach and Fellini because he masterfully captured both reality and fantasy in his film language. In this way I would like to investigate the following question: in what way (technically and substantively) do Fellini's absurdist scenes enter into a dialogue with the realistic scenes? This can help me with my own video language, as I want to alternate realism and absurdism without the works losing their sense of unity. With the making of THIS IS US, I wish to develop a narrative structure that combines the concrete with artistic freedom, accessibility with innovation and intelligence with emotion. Because how do you create a story that is as clear as possible, while creating a lot of artistic freedom on a visual level? How do you ensure that the viewer does not experience an "anything goes" feeling? That the artistry of the video actually reinforces rather than hinders the story? Where do the suspension of disbelief and artistic wonder meet? I now imagine THIS IS US to have a dramaturgy in which tableaux vivants show the inner emotional world of the characters, in combination with realistic situations. In that sense, the video will play with the dividing line between realism and fantasy, the real world and the playing world, and between story in language and story in images.


What do i what the thesis to do?

In the first video, I made THIS IS AND THAT IS AND A BIT OF THIS AND A LOT OF THAT It started with one person's alternating characters. This person is limited in playing with one's identity, one body. One person could be anybody/everybody. When you present yourself as one, you're the only one deciding what you show or how you believe to be and what you could become. Then in the second video, THIS IS THEM there are two people playing. I noticed that the definition of how they were was an immediate rejection to the other and relayed on the other. Unlike in the first video they could not be everybody they were always somebody else opposite earth other. That means that defining their identities was always in relation to the other. The thesis should become an artistic piece that functions as a script. This script moves throw three different chapters:

Solo *

Duo **

Trio ***

With every chapter, I want to look at the different ways of identifying a self in relation to: oneself, the other, and the others. Therefore this thesis is a resurge in the different ways of articulating who we are, and how many versions we can be depending on the circumstances. And diving into a new dynamic of three characters I want to investigate what kind of dynamics are new and not existing in the previous constructions.


chapters

1) solo (I (me-mine) mode of address)

2) duet (we [us -they- their's] mode of address)

3) trio (we+ [us -they- their's] mode of address)

Timeline

DEC

this is

this is them

intention of new work THIS IS US

What do I what the thesis to do

JAN

1) solo (I (me-mine) mode of address)

2) duet (we [us -they- their's] mode of address)

3) trio (we+ [us -they- their's] mode of address)


FEB First Draft

MAR Second Draft + physical layout

APRIL DEADLINE



Bibliography

Brainard, J. (2001). I remember. Granary Books;Distributed to the trade by D.A.P.

Huizinga, J. (1970). Homo Ludens: A study of the play element in culture. London: Maurice Temple Smith Ltd.

Maalouf, A. (2001). In the name of identity: Violence and the need to belong. New York: Arcade. b. Photography and artworks

Porter, C (2020). What Artist wear.Penguin.England.

Versluis, A and Uyttenbroek, E. (2002-2021). Exactitudes. Holland.