User:Eleanorg/1.2/RWR/Annotation: Towards A Performance Model of Sex
'Towards a Performance Model of Sex'
Millar, Thomas M. (2008) 'Towards a Performance Model of Sex', in Freidman, J. & Valenti, J. (eds) Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape (California: Seal Press).
This short essay is included in the collection, "Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape" - an anthology of sex-positive reflections on combatting sexual violence. Millar's essay proposes that the way our culture views sex (as a finite commodity subject to transactions) excuses many forms of sexual coercion, and that instead sex should be viewed as a collaborative performance.
Millar notes that both 'prudes' (eg, the Abstince movement) and 'libertines' view sex as "a substance that can be given, bought, sold or stolen" (p.30). The prudes see sex as a non-renewable resource that women should save up and spend on lifelong financial commitment (p.32), while the libertines also see sex as a product, but one which they attempt to get women to 'give up' more freely. Even so-called "Nice Guys", who claim that rape is the result of polite requests being refused, share a common undercurrent: sex as the property or entitlement of men. This view sees "rape as repossession" (p.35), or at worst a property crime, and shames 'sluts' who squander or misuse the commodity.
The problem with sex-as-commodity, Millar argues, is its appeal to the notion that "a deal is a deal, however reluctantly, grudgingly, or desperately one side accepts it" (p.37). (A footnote points out that a Marxist analysis would be an obvious one to apply in this connection.) This model minimizes the importance of enthusiastic consent, as "[i]n order for commerce to flourish it is necessary to have rules about when someone is stuck with the bargain they made, even if they regret it or never really liked it in the first place. This is what rape apologists do every time: defend the transaction by... emphasising her [the victim's] agency... and insisting on the finality of bargains" (p.37).
Instead of the 'bargaining' that results from sex being viewed as a commodity, Millar proposes we view sex as we would an artistic collaboration or musical performance. "Like the commodity model, the performance model implies a negotiation, but not an unequal or adversarial one. The negotiation is the creative process of building something from a set of available elements." (p.38) The essay closes with some reflections on what a positive type of collaboration could look like: "The palette available to them [the musical or sexual collaborators] is their entire skillset... and the product will depend on the pieces each individual brings to the performance. This process involves communication of likes and dislikes and prefernces, not a series of proposals that meets with acceptance or rejection". (p.39)
By priviledging "affirmative participation" (p.40), this model undermines the "finality of bargains" argued for by rape apologists. If it became the norm, Miller argues, many widely-accepted forms of rape "would lose their social license to operate" (p.40).
Notes & Quotes
THE COMMODITY MODEL
- The idea of 'slut' (and slut-shaming) makes no sense when applied to activities other than sex - for example music. This is because we construct sex not as an activity but a commodity. "Sex is not so much an act as a thing: a substance that can be given, bought, sold or stolen" (p.30).
- This construction, which 'sluts' who don't guard the commodity correctly, is shared by poth prudes and 'libertines' and gives rapists a "social license to operate" (p.30).
- The Abstinence Movement
- Sex is a non-renewable resource that must be saved up. 'Spending' it on lifelong (financial) commitment is the best possible outcome for women. (p.32)
- The Libertines
- Sex is also a product for them, but the aim is to 'get' as much as possible from women - while in the end disrespecting them for giving it away too easily.
- 'Nice Guys'
- Men who believe that sex rightfully belongs to them if they ask nicely. Rape results from women unfairly withholding sex (pp.35). Nice Guys see "rape as repossession" (p.35)
PROBLEMS WITH THE COMMODITY MODEL
- Encourages the view that "a deal is a deal, however reluctantly, grudgingly, or desperately one side accepts it" (p.37). (A footnote notes that links to Marxist analysis of sex as labour are immediately apparent here.)
- "In order for commerce to flourish it is necessary to have rules about when someone is stuck with the bargain they made, even if they regret it or never really liked it in the first place. This is what rape apologists do every time: defend the transaction by... emphasising her [the victim's] agency... and insisting on the finality of bargains" (p.37).
THE PERFORMANCE MODEL OF SEX
- Sex is more like playing music with others than a transaction.
- "Because it centers on collaboration, a performance model better fits the conventional feminist wisdom that consent is not the absence of "no", but affirmative participation." (p.38)
- "In the absence of affirmative participation, there is no collaboration." (p.38)
- "Like the commodity model, the performance model implies a negotiation, but not an unequal or adversarial one. The negotiation is the creative process of building something from a set of available elements." (p.38)
- "The palette available to them [the musical or sexual collaborators] is their entire skillset... and the product will depend on the pieces each individual brings to the performance. This process involves communication of likes and dislikes and prefernces, not a series of proposals that meets with acceptance or rejection". (p.39)
- This model undermines the idea of 'slut'. "By centering collaboration and constructing consent as affirmative, the performance model also changes the model for rape. ...Looking for affirmative participation is built into the conception [of the performance model]". (p.40)
- If this were normal, many accepted forms of rape "would lose their social license to operate". (p.40)