User:Thijshijsijsjss/Human Parser/Amorphous Annotations Amassed

This page collects annotations that are small and don't warrant their own page. It is a drafting ground for in-progress writing, and some entries might migrate to a dedicated page as they grow. Also, as the manual grows, I expect more single line annotations to emerge, some entries to be broken up, and more fun to be had with the questionable linearity of the thesis!

About Thijs

Necessary. This annotation is about introducing Thijs (me), as an attempt to situate the thesis and to give context for the personal parts of my writing.

About disassociation

Necessary. This annotation is meant to give a (my) 'definition' of disassociation. Can be short. Need reference(s).

About Text-Adventures

Necessary. This annotation is about talking about text-adventures, accompanying another entry talking about interactive fiction. The latter makes a thematic connection to disassociation. This entry should be more explanatory of what TAs are. Can be shorter, and should annotate an 'early' part of the manual. Main references Get Lamp and Twisty Little Passages.

About Obsolete Media

Nice to have. Annotation acknolowedging the connection to obsolete media. It seems like this axis is not super present, which I'm okay with (there might still be some pen plotter action), but I think it's still nice to mention, and might connect to some other entries (like a potential FOMO entry). Need reference(s). Ask Joseph?

About Functionality

Good to have. Annotation about the term 'high functioning'. The game features a 'functionality score', and the player stops functioning once exceeding this number. This entry should be connected to the manual's part about the functionality score.

Functionality, 1

As the word 'spectrum' suggests, the autistic spectrum comes in a continuous, multi-axial variety of flavors. Luckily, this is much better understood these days. However, I often still see the spectrum being mostly reduced to one axis: 'functioning'. Spending any number of minutes within discourse on autism, people are quick to talk about 'low' and 'high' functioning autistic people. 'low' and 'high' meaning to indicate how seemingly well an autistic person can function in society. 'Seemingly' being the key word here: it is a measure that is not a property of the person -- it reveals little information about one's traits -- but rather a property of judgement: the degee of functionality reveals the values of an environment, and evaluates the matter in which a person is a disruption in that environment. In that sense, 'functionality' can be a nasty measurement. Of course, there's a wide variety of different challenges people face, and some are more explicit and undeniable and shaping than others. It's good to acknowldge that, but I don't know if measuring 'functionality' is the way to achieve that.

functionality, 2

Compare 'high functioning' to another term: 'high masking'. This, in my eyes, does reveal more of the person's traits: the matter of masking tells us about someone's ability to sense and adapt to an environment, to blend in and suppress their natural tendencies. Some people might be doing this much (voluntarily or not), while others less (voluntarily or not). Moreover, while this metric is often reserved for discourse on autism, it is a metric that, to me, seems more universal. Whereas 'functioning' presupposes a system of values, 'masking' doesn't: it merely states the ability or tendency to mask to blend into an environment, which is not a evaluation of the environment.

Rough draft. No references :[

About FOMO

Optional About the fear of missing out, and how IF opposes that. ~1 paragraph. In search for references.

FOMO -- 'the fear of missing out' -- is a symptom characterizing a generation (blehg). It is often not just a fear, but a self-fulfilling prophecy. Amidst constant exposure to social media, no barrier to consuming world news, ubiquitous contradicting voices trying to convince you to live life in specific ways, one can easily feel paralyzed. It speaks to the notion there's a way to 'fail' in experiencing, and we are hesitant to commit to any action that might be a wrong one.

Multi-linear narratives are interesting in the current landscape of consumption in that they fundamentally oppose the notion of experiencing it all. The only way to proceed is by going down one path, and leaving behind another. Exploring one path in a branching narrative can leave you wondering about the 'missed options', but even going back to check out another is different from being exposed to them all at once. Having to make these decisions is a novel discomfort. The creators of the branching cyberdrama Deep Simulator note:

Xu Cong: It's the lack of boundaries that causes this overwhelming and disorienting feeling, right?

Ag: Yes. That which we see in our experiences has boundaries, then suddenly you're in a world that has no boundaries, no clear path, and you don't know what to do. (Ag, 2021)

References

• Ag (2021) Deep Simulator. Translated by Keeler, J.A. Shanghai: 51 Personae, London, UK: Tabula Rasa Gallery.

About Manuals

Necessary. About the shortcomings of Manuals, and the format of this thesis. Maybe start with micro-anecdote. I imagine this annotation would be on one of the first manual pages. I'm still planning to open the manual with an email / letter, and think these could be attached there.

Manuals, 1

I will never be able to fully understand you.

My mother told me this over the phone, about 2 years ago. I have a great bond with my mother. We are very similar in many ways, but also very different in many more. Many of our conversations end in a newfound understanding of how exactly we differ. We notice different things, react differently to sensory stimuli and our thoughts follow different patterns. We have different ways of processing the world, each other and ourselves. She's quick to remind me that 'we're wired differently' -- and I think she finds comfort in that.

It's the great human tragedy that we're never able to fully comprehend another person's entirety. Maybe you can get a momentary glimpse in an instant, through means other than words, but that understanding is never sustained. Reversely, never being able to be fully understood can, at times, feel like an inescapable loneliness. But the great tragedy of not-understanding also holds the great human beauty: continuing to try to better understand each other regardless.

In conversation, an image of your conversation partner is created in your mind. Pretending understanding is equating the person to that image, and restricting that person to your understanding of them. To instead acknowledge the grey areas of understanding is a generous gift that allows for connections to develop and evolve. Hearing my mother acknowledge this, was immensly valuable in feeling seen.

Rough draft. This turned out longer than intended, and very personal, and I make some grand statements about the human experience that are only backed by my own experiences. Making up my mind how I feel about it, and curious about your thoughts.

Manuals, 2

Some people come with a manual.

This is another statement that addresses the difficulty in understanding. However, instead of embracing the beauty in that, this sentence creates the illusion that there's a concise way to overcome it. While the intention might often be an honest, good-spirited attempt to acknowledge our differences, there's an implicit friction to a statement like this. Instead of realizing that understanding is a continued, mutual effort, 'the manual' makes it seem as if just one party is 'the problem'. Moreover, seemingly it's that party's responsibility to come with a tool to help others understand them. What could be a wonderfully rich asymmetry, is turned into a hierarchical mess. Why do 'some people' need an outside tool to speak for them? What does this 'manual' entail, anyway? How can any manual possibly convey all human nuance?

Rough draft. The tone's a little harsh. I notice I'm continuously trying to condense my throughts, and end up with Frankensteinian texts. Also wonder here if I want to make an explicit reference to the format of the thesis, or if the decisions for that are / will be clear enough.

Manuals, 3

Being told to 'come with a manual' is often part of the neurodivergent experience. It feeds into a curious machinal, robotical analogy -- a stereotype that especially people with autism face. They're said to be 'wired' differently.

Don't know if this needs to be here. Also, for the whole section: references?

About Prophetic Diagnoses

Optional. About how a label / description of you might influence you, as a self-fulfilling prophecy. After the player's functionality score is exceeded, the 'day ends' and they are presented a report of their actions. Can be connected there (someone's narration of your life / person makes you that person).

About Parsing

Good to have. About parsers (both TA and human). ZIL, Aarseth, Montfort references? Can easily connect to e.g. action verbs in manual.