New space / diary form

_New_Space Im am working on a body of work that is a record of a challenge I’m making myself go through during these past few months.

The clash started after a feeling of not being understood after being assessed for the passed trimesters.

I arrived here to pop open my closed possession of myself and was prepared for close encountering a long period of self - misbalance, but you never know really what are you gonna see until you are finally looking at it in the mirror.

It is a very daring gymnastics, this process of redecorating your internal architecture, so you have to build with the material you just smashed, but this time you are building it to be flexible and not static.

If there is a wind, it will move like the wind and be the wind itself, if there is an ocean it will transform into a wave and be the ocean. The space needs to be inhabited , and to be inhabited it needs to be inhaled and completely felt.

By entering a process of facing your fears, there is an inevitable transformation, but the one that doesn’t necessarily make you dismiss your previous beliefs but, on the contrary, the one that lets you inhabit them more completely.
You inhabit your coincidence, your freedom, your “I don’t know”s. And with doing so, you perceive so many threads and leads that need exploring and connecting, there is so much untold here. It can trigger yet another set of anxieties, unless you are faster then your feelings. Anyone who isn’t confused doesn’t really understand the situation. It a quote by Edward R. Murrow, and it was mentioned in a text about a female artist that committed suicide not so long ago.

If I might add, it can be fatal to really understand the situation.

Are there any rules to impose on my self to exercise my expressive vaults ?Roughly because I am not allowed really to impose rules on myself for I will break them.

I can be very dedicated and disciplined, only if I manipulate the manipulator within me.

Attention is healing -> Present is necessary -> make your own fiction -> make your own space Connection is following -> Truth is fluid, kaleidoscopic and abundant. In these works I am looking at space, my space and the space that is at the intersection with my space. The connection is the the consequence of attention.
It can be so awfully frustrating. How many maps, in the descriptive, or geographical sense, might be needed too deal exhaustively with a given space, to code an decode all its meaning and contents? Henri Lefebre asks. Do you need splitting in all your realities to give an answer to the hypothetical Henri?