Harriet Lerner - The Dance of Deception

On Deception and Truth-Telling -> part of everyday life in all species throughout nature

Silence / withholding information is also a way of deception - sometimes excused or praised

Privacy differs from deception

Self Deception can cause inauthenticity, not being fully present in our important relationships

Pretending is a softer word, it often pretends to protect others. Pretending is closely associated with femininity.

Pretending and Truth-Telling are not always opposites. Pretending for example my be an indirect move towards truth. In pretending love or courage for example we may discover that it really does exist or that we can enhance our capacity for it. Sometimes pretending is a form of experimentation or imitation that widens our experience and our sense of possibility. It reflects a wish to find ourselves in order to be ourselves.

Truth-Telling Whom to tell, What to tell, When to tell, How much to tell and How to tell? Sometime being strategic is wiser that being spontaneous.