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The "modern trad wife" has nothing wrong, a woman that believes in traditional family values and at the same time is a stay at home mom, while still having a personal income, using the internet as a source of it, even being religious, is nothing wrong, at least nothing I can really hate. Advertising it as the only real way women can get happiness is the wrong aspect.
The "modern trad wife" has nothing wrong, a woman that believes in traditional family values and at the same time is a stay at home mom, while still having a personal income, using the internet as a source of it, even being religious, is nothing wrong, at least nothing I can really hate. Advertising it as the only real way women can get happiness is the wrong aspect.
Promoting this trad wife idea while profiting from its label as an influencer is not only self serving but also potentially harmful to others.
Promoting this trad wife idea while profiting from its label as an influencer is not only self serving but also potentially harmful to others.
=='''Cottagecore'''==
'''Aesthetic analysis'''
Cottagecore trend starts way before the social media evolution, back to ancient times. The romanticization of countryside life and aesthetics is a theme that has transcended cultures and eras, illustrating how trends cycle and work through history.
In ancient Greece, for example, urban people often fantasised about the magic of nature and the simplicity of living among animals in the fields. This yearning for an idyllic rustic life persisted throughout history, manifesting in various forms. For example, kings, queens, and aristocrats across Europe created ornamental farms and villages within their own gardens, allowing them to retreat from society and enjoy a pastoral vibe without fully immersing themselves in it. One of the most famous ornamental farms is Hameau de la Reine, the queen’s cottage, built for Marie Antoinette at Versailles as now one of the most famous escapist vacation amusement parks. <br>
Marie Antoniette surely left her mark in history, and over time her lifestyle has been romanticised, influencing much of the cottagecore aesthetic we see today.
The cottage core aesthetic isn't drawn just from French aristocratic fantasy, but from English countryside life too, inspired by the romanticised architecture of cottages that, while emulating rustic simplicity, were often equipped with the comforts of modern life.
It’s easy to see where our modern fantasy of the past has drawn inspiration, the Victorian era, has also significantly shaped the cottagecore style. Authors like Jane Austen and the Brontë sisters, through their evocative depictions of rural life, contributed to the lasting fascination for the countryside. At the same time we see the blooming of Romanticism, and other movements, like Transcendentalism. The latter is what I got most curious about, it’s still a strain of Romanticism, it’s a 19th century resistance movement against the industrial revolution, focusing on the individual, experiencing God through nature, enjoying solitude. Ralph Waldo Emerson laid out the principles of the movement through his manifesto, in which it is clear how the natural world exists for him to reveal the individual universal meanings. Poetry was quite important in the movement, as for transcendentalists the poet is a seeker of truth through observation of nature.<br>
In the 20th century that social common desire of returning back to the land returned, peaking in the “Back to the Land” movement during the 60s and 70s.
'''Cottage core lifestyle today'''
The term “cottagecore” was first used on Tumblr around 2010, to tag this growing aesthetic that romanticised the rural life aesthetic.
During the pandemic the interest in cottagecore increased. Everyone was making bread from sourdough, cultivating gardens, and embracing a slower pace of life. <br>
People started thinking more about the toxicity of overconsumption, waste, globalisation, toxic working schedule, and climate change. Cottagecore is a fragment of a new narrative that tries to challenge the mainstream one, the prevailing one that calls all progress as good.
Cottagecore is cosy, comforting, and welcoming. <br>
It’s about slowing down. Gardening, knitting, baking fresh cakes, and sipping tea. Cottagecore is about dreaming a different life, a response to hustle culture and an aspiration for slow living, as well as a rejection of the digital aesthetic.
As an aesthetic, cottagecore mainly influences interior and fashion design.<br>
In interior design, common elements include incorporating plants and botanical life in decor, emphasising hobbies and crafts, using wooden furniture, and choosing natural colours, as well as pastels ones.
Again,longing for a simpler life is not new.<br>
Initially were the wealthy that had the privilege of creating spaces that mimicked the countryside. However, after industrialization, the middle class also began to feel nostalgic for a simpler life. William Morris, who lived at the dawn of mass industrialisation, exemplified this shift. The Arts and Crafts movement, which he was part of, emphasised decor that embodied the cottagecore aesthetic as a balance against the increasingly grey, industrial world.
Morris himself was saying “Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful”, quoting that clash between the new approach to production focused on speed and functionality and less with aesthetic and beauty.
Things change a bit when this aesthetic is not applied just to floral wallpapers and nice linen dresses, but to lifestyle choices and social media interactions as well.
The paradox of cottagecore lies in its success as a nostalgic, anti modern aesthetic thriving in modern spaces. One of the main aspects of cottage core aesthetic lifestyle is loneliness, yet cottagecore content is blooming on social media and online communities.
One common criticism of cottagecore is its exclusivity. Much of its content is inspired by literature about wealthy white people being rich and melancholic.<br>
While this could be true, that cottagecore often appeals to a specific community, demographic, it’s not correct to say that’s the case from the beginning of it trending online.
I believe capitalism, amongst all, it’s extremely flattening as a system with communities, no one cares about communities, the strawberry dress must be sold to everyone! (remember for copyright issue).
And, indeed, fantasising about aesthetics, that could take inspiration from the past but are still performative in the present, can be an extremely useful tool for marginalised communities to empower themself and their identity in spaces that were always white cis coded.
Another critique is the poverty play.<br>
Anything involved in the cottage core movement products’ production has been typically aimed to upper class people (meme di vestiti per bambini ricchi) that never got involved in the country lifestyle, and this is happening again, playing with a nostalgic feeling for those that never experienced that kind of living, that live usually in urban areas. Let's call it anemoia as it should be.<br>
Usually in fashion we see this poverty play… at play.<br>
Fashion was always a manner of trying to understand from which class a person you were talking to were from. Pastoral fashion, for instance, was never about disguising wealth, but rather about cosplaying as the rural poor in a way that made it clear you were wealthy. This artificiality is still present in modern cottagecore, as it is in many trends, such as hip hop and rap fashion. The "shabbiness" typical of real life in nature is fabricated in cottagecore. (shein?)
Another critique, as for the “trad wife”, it’s not about aesthetic and style anymore, is when the aesthetic becomes moralistic and politicised. <br>
Clearly cottagecore is often associated with anti-capitalism and anti-globalisation, and with a profound desire for independence. So to me it’s weird how people associate cottagecore, that seems like a profound liberating aesthetic mostly for women, to the trad wife life, even if I can see some strings there. While they share interests like sustainability, organic cooking, and gardening, cottagecore values loneliness, not family values, and stands apart in its political stance.
'''references'''
https://gnet-research.org/2023/05/19/co-opting-cottagecore-pastoral-aesthetics-in-reactionary-and-extremist-movements/<br>
https://www.jstor.org/stable/44086226?read-now=1#page_scan_tab_contents<br>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErBs75hKJWc<br>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YRl4Kdnl2E<br>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfnl3x17Q5c

Revision as of 17:11, 19 August 2024

the summer limbo parade of random, or not so random, essays

Productivity (5h)

What is productivity, little facts

Productivity is the art of getting things done, in a chosen time frame.
In business language It's a measure of economic performance indicating how efficiently inputs (material and labour) are converted into output (product).
I would say it’s all Adam Smith's fault, that contended that there were two kinds of labour, productive and unproductive. In his little nice essay The Wealth of Nations, in Book II, Chapter III we find the infamous description:

There is one sort of labour which adds to the value of the subject upon which it is bestowed; there is another which has no such effect. The former, as it produces a value, may be called productive; the latter, unproductive labour. Thus the labour of a manufacturer adds, generally, to the value of the materials which he works upon, that of his own maintenance, and of his master’s profit. The labour of a menial servant, on the contrary, adds to the value of nothing . . .

It’s not just Smith's fault, other grey curled men were involved in this shift of mentality that was indeed what brought a lot of wealth and depression.

In 1791, Benjamin Franklin created the earliest to do list, to try to find a way to offer something valuable to society each day. The list opened with the morning question, ‘what good shall be done?’ and in the evening ‘what was accomplished today?’


  • Benjamin Franklin’s to do list for the day
  • Teenager Summer bucket list, made by typicalMom it seems
  • Example of bullet journal, track mood


Franklin was anyway doing the to-do list mainly for himself, he wasn’t trying to sell anything, he wasn’t an influencer, he was just living through the industrial revolution.

Planners were born more than two centuries ago, from planning to a whole industry moneeyyy. It started with almanacs, then spiritual diaries, then school diaries, then any kind of amazing diary and notebook to inspire, to let people follow the word of god while being more productive were born. I must say I found few fascinating stories about christian diaries, or anyway religious diaries. I always expected this kind of diary to be American, and most of the time it is exactly right, but I found out some great cool community in italy at the moment that are being revitalised. They are made of extremely catholic bigoted women that sell their catholic products through the world wide web, this includes school diaries for their kids, and I really would like one.
I will add info if I find them again (the algorithm will bring them back to me).

One interesting story is the one of the Wanamaker diary, invented by John Wanamaker that paired a daily planner with his own store catalogue, making one of the first examples of diary underwritten by ads.

This diary brought back some memories. The ‘smemoranda’ is one of the most famous and still used school diaries in Italy.
Inspired by Vitt diaries from the ‘70, it hosted comics and stories from Benito Jacovitti. Smemoranda was the first agenda to also include articles, opinions, and essays on various current topics with an emphasis on values such as environmentalism, solidarity and pacifism, but some ads as well. If you have the smemo you are cool. Anyway the smemo is still a symbol of the high school years. Last year, former Senator Pillon had considered the 2023/2024 edition of the diary dangerous because of the importance it attached to gender issues. I am not gonna say anything because I don’t respect people that use bow ties (Pillon).

Some schools started prohibiting the usage of branded diaries (not because of Pillon), some institutes started making their own personal diaries for their students, the most fashionable and memable? The one from catholic schools.
Is branding school’s diaries something common in other countries as well?

  • Wanamaker diary
  • a PDAs (Personal Digital Assistants), PalmPilot, launched in 1996, carried digital calendars, address books, and note taking tools
  • Smemo 2023-2024 edition


Returning back to the history of productivity tools. Guru’s of productivity were born later. Tom Peters, Michael Porter, Bill Smith, all wrote and analysed best run companies, studied leadership and production management.
I don’t really care about industrial productivity, even if I know it plays a role in how we I'm curious about personal tools and the dynamics of toxic productivity. Where do these pressures come from, and how can we navigate the fast pace of the 21st century?

Productivity got a bust after personal computers started existing, people started using computers because of new software about productivity, top project management tools began redefining organisation and collaboration. With task allocation, deadline reminders, and collaboration features, these tools became the backbone of team coordination and production.
Earliest office suite for personal computers includes MicroPro International's StarBurst in the early 1980s, Microsoft Office dominates the market from the 1990’s

Personal Information Managers (PIMs) have been around for some time, with programs like Lotus Agenda and Microsoft Outlook (launched in 1997) that introduced the concept of organising emails, calendars, tasks, and contacts in one single digital environment.

With the development of smartphones a new generation of productivity apps emerged, like Evernote (2004), Remember the milk (2004), Taskwarrior (open source, 2008), Trello (2011), Any.do (2011), Todoist (2012), Habitica (the game-to-do-list) (2013), Slack (2013), Notion (2016), Google Tasks (2018), Priority Matrix (following the eisenhower method) (2020).

Funnily enough I tried almost all of them.


The future seems bright for extreme productivity, so with an emphasis on integration and automation Services like Zapier and IFTTT (If This Then That) allow users to connect different apps and automate workflows and productivity. AI got us as well, AI driven tools like Notion, Roam Research and Microsoft 365 copilot feature natural language processive, prediction of text, and personalised task management, pushing productivity even deeper in our brain.

Is the usage of virtual assistants, predictive analytics, and automation tools beneficial for us? Mundane tasks are becoming obsolete quite easily, supposedly freeing humans to focus on innovation and strategy. But are we really sure about that?

I always had an obsession with tools for productivity, I never found the perfect one for me, that was free and ads free, now it’s practically impossible to find one that is minimal, free and easy to use. It’s easier to learn how to make your own, so here I am.

Pomodori 🍅🍅🍅

What got me through university is the pomodoro timer. It’s a technique developed by Francesco Cirillo during the ‘80. The name is inspired by the tool used, a kitchen timer. Usually the pomodoro timer includes a 25 minutes work interval and a short break of 5 minutes afterwards, this is called a ‘pomodoro’. After four pomodoro, you can take a long break (20-30 mins).
Cirillo always encourages a low tech approach to the method, using the physical act of winding the timer, so that flow and focus become associated with physical stimuli.

But that didn’t last, now there are plenty of application softwares for pomodoro timers.
While being an xpub1 student I figured out building timers, pomodoro timers, was the best way to start learning bash, powershell and javascript.

- Here how I did the things - add links

Aesthetic

I got to know bullet journaling by Pinterest, by aesthetic colourful images on pinterest that gave me the feeling that with bullet journaling I could overcome that, common, fear of losing something, time mostly, but anything, anything.

Bullet journaling is not just about productivity, but trying to make productivity an inviting activity, a mindfulness activity, an ordered journaling means an ordered interior life. The fact that I was always lazy to learn calligraphy and that I am messy as fuck never helped me in getting that cute sparkling aesthetic that was typically branded as real journaling.

Journaling as a concept is much more tho.
Growing up in a hotel, I met people from all over the world. Once, I met a girl who carried her journal everywhere, filling it with notes, drawings, and pieces of memories, all glued into a beautiful composition of little fragments of time. I was enchanted. I decided I wanted to do it as well, but it was quite difficult for me, at the time I felt nothing I was doing was worthy enough to be placed in a holy notebook of memories.
After starting high school I found myself in panic while trying to focus, to study enough (never enough anyway), doing things I liked in the meantime… The only anchor I found was writing down what I did each day. Every evening, I’d document my day, trying to convince myself that I was doing enough. This helped for a while, and eventually, I started using a real notebook and embarked on my planning journey.

Life was much easier.
This at some point changed when naturally life got a little more difficult, I struggled to forgive myself when I wasn’t “doing enough” or when I couldn’t fill my notebook with bullet points, materials, and little scraps for my scrap-diary.

I wasn’t feeling well, and now, years later, I understand why. A big part of the problem was that no one around me emphasized the importance of balance or even what balance looked like. It took me a long time to begin fixing this, and I’m still working on it. I know now that many people—if not almost everyone—are influenced by the rhetoric of overproductivity equaling worth. We’re all running, but what are we running toward? There’s nothing to rush toward.
Doing things is important, and starting and finishing tasks matters, but it should never come at the cost of mental and physical well-being. After investigating the roots of my feelings of worthlessness and the struggle to balance my curiosity with my well-being, I realized that I’m still the same curious person, but now I have better boundaries.

I still continue with journaling in a much more eclectic way. It’s a tool I use to remember places I visited, as a scrap journal, to collect stickers, doodle, plans. I don’t use it everyday, and when I’m overwhelmed, the pages remain blank. It’s funny to see blank pages here and there, and I know now that I was just too busy and that’s fine, even if I don’t remember all the things I did I’m not doomed.

“Things aren’t binary; things begin, they pause, they resume, they get moved.” says Ryder Carroll, that I will talk about later, in a New Yorker interview, he refers to it as something to take in mind when designing a bullet journal, to me this same quote means I don’t need to feel ashamed with myself I didn’t finish something, or that my energy level is not stable, as all other human beings.

Bujo

Anyway back to Bullet journaling, or Bujo, it’s a cultish notebook-organisation system, it was invented by Ryder Carroll, the famous Marie Kondo of notebooks.
Looking at the bulletjournal.com maybe you will understand why I am saying cultish, as it feels like a new wave christian cultish website, they can give out certifications to even teach the bullet journal method, professionally. I mean if something works, make it a job right?

It’s cultish because it has developed its own vocabulary, it is a growing community with few little satellite communities: BuJo for students, BuJo for mothers, BuJo for veterans, #menwhobullet (planning and organisation is seen as something feminine). An internet trend, a performative act of making pleasing aesthetical little pages to show online and never use, a ritualistic performance of listing art, for the public, for the views.
People brand themself as bullet journalists, organising gurus. There’s nothing wrong in journaling, nothing wrong in anything until it becomes clearly fake, sugarcoating of reality, obsessive. This it’s just a reminder to be inspired by online content but never trust anything, surely not when someone starts branding themself. But that’s just my take.

The bullet journal community is tied deeply with the doodle art community, the productivity community, the cute community, the notes communities, and this is wonderful. The even more wonderful part is to see the extreme fringes, the cultish behaviour patterns of these communities, might be of any communities really.
In this world it seems everyone is climbing a never ending ladder to reach the top. Tons of content glorifying organisation and planning is being consumed constantly, all those quotes with a fiery romantic background with the same flavour of justgirlything.
Despite the original bullet journaling community intentions, social media polluted it, and bujo started enforcing unrealistic standard made of pretty pastel highlighters, stickers and elegant fountain pens lines. Glamour instagrammable over function that make people that already are trying to cope with pressure with even more pressure.
This is my envy speaking, grrrrr.

Stop

The fascinating aspect of journaling, in any form, is the illusion of control it provides. I've always been intrigued by this. I’ve long known that journaling can support good mental health, offering a moment of pause from the overwhelming feelings we all encounter in daily life. But it’s also interesting to consider when journaling might not be as helpful.

The reality is that my journal is what I want it to be, so it really reflects my own inner self. I don’t like to personally use my journal as a diary to vent but more as a scrap notebook, full of trash, exactly like my mind is.

Starting journaling again during my stay in Rotterdam was a different experience.
I started using the wiki provided by the course as a kind of digital diary of things I was doing, as a notebook. It took me months to better understand how to balance the usage of the tool and my feeling of overwhelm in xpub.
The pressure I put onto myself was so high I had to boil it down and I used the wiki, the fact is that I felt overwhelmed by the amount of information that I was trying to focus on, I lost control over it, I felt guilty with myself to not be able to survive against and again the pressure after years, until I found peace in not being able to do so. Until that enlightenment it was hell.

Anyway, again, the digital bullet journal I still have on the xpub wiki can show how my journaling evolved at the same pace of my own wellbeing (being used constantly, to not being used at all because I was too busy with life outside of it). Applying the same rules to my digital journaling from the paper journaling helped a lot. The pressure I feel to be the best I can in a course that brings you on the edge because of the amount of inputs, is much less now. My personal mental trip with the wiki will still continue, changing shape as a true blob.
What’s therapeutic to me is writing down things I did but never reading them back. If I need to remember something, like when I last paid a tax or saw a friend, I can refer to it, but I don’t plan on reviewing what I’ve written. For me, this approach seems to be the healthiest.

Social media insanity

Tradwife material

The "tradwife" image, often seen online as a modern, glamorous take on the classic housewife, has been polluting my trash feed for a while so it’s time to dig into this controversial topic to feel even sadder than before.

The biggest problem of this trend resides, as always for most trends on social media, on its portrayal of reality. One of the fundamental rules for tradwifes is that women should not work, leaving the responsibility of earning money to their husbands. This idea is problematic because reality is not a fantasy: people might get bored, cheat, die. To navigate life’s challenges, one needs to be prepared as an individual. Being a tradwife without savings, a job, or any form of independence can place a woman (or anyone) in a precarious position, exactly like playing the russian roulette.

This trend is just a cosplay of ‘50 housewives, and people fall for it. Anyway it sounds like a wonderful business. If they were just making money I would just feel inspired by them, but unluckily money move thoughts and the tradwives is just a reflections of some confusion happening around the female role . The glamourisation of the past while using new pieces of technology, latest smartphones, feels confusing and amusing at the same time.

The rarity of homemakers don’t help with the issue, as many people don’t know what such a lifestyle truly looks like. This creates a perfect opportunity for influencers to capitalise on this mythical housewifey figure, especially when there’s a political push to return to the “good old days”. The danger lies in young women being influenced by this trend, believing that this is how their lives should be.

Harrison Butker's lovely trending speech about embracing the tradwife lifestyle is exactly what I am scared about. His speech could be a part of the Handmaid's tale story without much effort, and his way of talking about women better times and returning back to them got me the chills. I would like to lie saying that he is just a man over a million, but it is not.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKztNLfDU58

The typical tradwife content emits tranquillity, peace, glamour, perfection, with that asmr hypnotising quality. It appeals to those who feel disconnected from the artificiality of modern life, long for more family time, or seek a traditional definition of femininity, often in opposition to what they see as “woke” culture. We can probably guess their stance on vaccines.

The anomaly will always attract attention. But in the world of social media, the anomaly is still artificial. These content creators are creating something designed to captivate. The portrayal of the fantasy of a traditional wife and motherhood is their job. Most stay at home moms, however, are not privileged. They don’t have time to prepare organic, curated meals while managing a household full of children.

The portrayal of the fantasy of a traditional wife, of motherhood, is the job of all these clever content creators. Thorstein Veblen's "Theory of the Leisure Class" is frequently cited in discussions about the tradwife trend. Veblen coined the terms "conspicuous consumption" and "conspicuous leisure," suggesting that the wealthy, no longer needing to contribute to economic production, signal their status through leisure activities.
The main difference between influencer tradwifes and real housewives common in the ‘50 is that the latter were from the middle class, while now the tradwifes that are seen on social media are indeed not from middle class but from the leisure class. They have the privilege to choose to be a housewife.


Influencers

Nara Smith is probably one of the most famous, labelled as part of the tradwife movement, she posts mostly cooking content, swinging between asmr and aesthetical cooking. Every piece content she creates is a wonderful polished hook, as she performs her role wonderfully.


Ballerina Farm, or Hannah Neeleman, is another influencer that shows her idyllic life, while being humble and modest, down to earth. Unluckily she is rich as fuck, is there anything wrong with being rich? No, the problem is making people believe that you are modest when in fact you are not. In her case, she has a nicely high generational wealth and she is a business owner, that means money from any direction, she didn’t start from scratch.


Estee Williams, is another influencer that is talked about concerning this controversial trend most of all, as she is doing something a little different than the latter two, and I believe more concerning, so indeed interesting. She posts lot of content on how to live a trad wife life, so unlike Ballerina Farm and Nara Smith, that you still might feel they are not doing much wrong at the end, they are just cooking, acting, having the time of their life, they are not labelling themself as tradwives, she is in fact doing it. Estee is advertising being a tradwife.

She makes content on how to feel more feminine, dressing modestly, and how to attract masculine men… Something wrong with it? I am feeling itchy saying it but no, when your content starts to feel a little bit politic, or you clearly are used by an extreme part of politic then it can change your situation. Until fluffy nice cute dresses, sourdough bread, really big smiles and telling women to not study I could even have kept silent. BUT she makes content against Prenups, so against prematrimonial contract, and I find it crazy, and if there’s something I can say clearly that is wrong is this one thing here. It’s just a way to see more women screwed later in life, it’s stupid as fuck, and this is the real anti feminist aspect of some trad wives preaches, this advertising of lack of economical willpower and autonomy is the problem that will inevitably create extreme power imbalances. She might be really lucky, who knows, to be in a relationship with someone that, at the moment, doesn't lack respect for her and still give her money to care for the house and maybe children.


Famous tradwifes that make thousands, millions of views online are indeed making money, while being at home moms and proclaiming the beauty of being housewives without gain (gain=diabolical). They pretend to not have a job while having one. They are selling the aesthetic to a public that is mainly composed of “traditional” men seeking the wifey material of their dream while watching extreme porn and spitting on anyone. Sad. What about history? Isn’t history enough to show how much people go crazy with power? Let alone the fact that if something so called divorce happens the tradwife is screwed, most of the time she won’t get the custody of children (this depends still of which country we are talking about, I must say that even giving the custody of children to the mother just because she is the mother doesn’t look nice either) and she will return back to the workforce without any preparation (a teen already has difficulty finding a job without skills). If there were less divorces in the past it wasn’t because the family system was working better, it was just because no one (the wife) had the right and power to run away.


Now, talking about the Girl boss era. So, what I feel is important here is not get too deep on the political reasons why this trend is trending at the moment. While it's useful to keep in mind the societal pendulum that swings us from one extreme to the other, the majority of people continue to live balanced lives. These microtrends, however, offer valuable insights into social changes and the confusion that often accompanies them.


Is this damn trend anti feminist and is setting us back as a society?

It certainly feels like a significant step backward, and it’s easy to see why. At the same time the trend underline a growing desire from people to get a slower and simple life, where social interactions within family is prioritised, while family in society is not a priority, individual wellbeing and career realisation is, and this feels wrong to some, this shift of mindset resonates with those who feel disconnected and overwhelmed by society’s relentless pace. If some women choose not to enter the workforce and instead pursue a different lifestyle than the one typically promoted as right, there’s nothing inherently wrong with that. It’s crucial to remember that the essence of feminism lies in supporting each woman’s right to make her own decisions, whatever they may be.

The trad wife is the red pilled extreme version of a classic stay at home mom. Trad wife is about religion, mindset, aesthetic, while stay at home moms is about balancing the family income and needs, they do it because of necessity more than choice.

We all know reality is all kinda deceiving at times, the general image we got from ‘50-’60 housewives is the tender lovely friendly housewife, instead it was clearly not like that most of the time. Family was at times a facade of deep unwellness, mothers were using drugs because of boredom, depression, anxiety, alcohol was quite present, family were bursted but still faking.

The "modern trad wife" has nothing wrong, a woman that believes in traditional family values and at the same time is a stay at home mom, while still having a personal income, using the internet as a source of it, even being religious, is nothing wrong, at least nothing I can really hate. Advertising it as the only real way women can get happiness is the wrong aspect. Promoting this trad wife idea while profiting from its label as an influencer is not only self serving but also potentially harmful to others.

Cottagecore

Aesthetic analysis

Cottagecore trend starts way before the social media evolution, back to ancient times. The romanticization of countryside life and aesthetics is a theme that has transcended cultures and eras, illustrating how trends cycle and work through history.

In ancient Greece, for example, urban people often fantasised about the magic of nature and the simplicity of living among animals in the fields. This yearning for an idyllic rustic life persisted throughout history, manifesting in various forms. For example, kings, queens, and aristocrats across Europe created ornamental farms and villages within their own gardens, allowing them to retreat from society and enjoy a pastoral vibe without fully immersing themselves in it. One of the most famous ornamental farms is Hameau de la Reine, the queen’s cottage, built for Marie Antoinette at Versailles as now one of the most famous escapist vacation amusement parks.
Marie Antoniette surely left her mark in history, and over time her lifestyle has been romanticised, influencing much of the cottagecore aesthetic we see today.

The cottage core aesthetic isn't drawn just from French aristocratic fantasy, but from English countryside life too, inspired by the romanticised architecture of cottages that, while emulating rustic simplicity, were often equipped with the comforts of modern life.

It’s easy to see where our modern fantasy of the past has drawn inspiration, the Victorian era, has also significantly shaped the cottagecore style. Authors like Jane Austen and the Brontë sisters, through their evocative depictions of rural life, contributed to the lasting fascination for the countryside. At the same time we see the blooming of Romanticism, and other movements, like Transcendentalism. The latter is what I got most curious about, it’s still a strain of Romanticism, it’s a 19th century resistance movement against the industrial revolution, focusing on the individual, experiencing God through nature, enjoying solitude. Ralph Waldo Emerson laid out the principles of the movement through his manifesto, in which it is clear how the natural world exists for him to reveal the individual universal meanings. Poetry was quite important in the movement, as for transcendentalists the poet is a seeker of truth through observation of nature.
In the 20th century that social common desire of returning back to the land returned, peaking in the “Back to the Land” movement during the 60s and 70s.

Cottage core lifestyle today

The term “cottagecore” was first used on Tumblr around 2010, to tag this growing aesthetic that romanticised the rural life aesthetic.

During the pandemic the interest in cottagecore increased. Everyone was making bread from sourdough, cultivating gardens, and embracing a slower pace of life.
People started thinking more about the toxicity of overconsumption, waste, globalisation, toxic working schedule, and climate change. Cottagecore is a fragment of a new narrative that tries to challenge the mainstream one, the prevailing one that calls all progress as good.


Cottagecore is cosy, comforting, and welcoming.
It’s about slowing down. Gardening, knitting, baking fresh cakes, and sipping tea. Cottagecore is about dreaming a different life, a response to hustle culture and an aspiration for slow living, as well as a rejection of the digital aesthetic.

As an aesthetic, cottagecore mainly influences interior and fashion design.
In interior design, common elements include incorporating plants and botanical life in decor, emphasising hobbies and crafts, using wooden furniture, and choosing natural colours, as well as pastels ones.

Again,longing for a simpler life is not new.
Initially were the wealthy that had the privilege of creating spaces that mimicked the countryside. However, after industrialization, the middle class also began to feel nostalgic for a simpler life. William Morris, who lived at the dawn of mass industrialisation, exemplified this shift. The Arts and Crafts movement, which he was part of, emphasised decor that embodied the cottagecore aesthetic as a balance against the increasingly grey, industrial world. Morris himself was saying “Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful”, quoting that clash between the new approach to production focused on speed and functionality and less with aesthetic and beauty.


Things change a bit when this aesthetic is not applied just to floral wallpapers and nice linen dresses, but to lifestyle choices and social media interactions as well.

The paradox of cottagecore lies in its success as a nostalgic, anti modern aesthetic thriving in modern spaces. One of the main aspects of cottage core aesthetic lifestyle is loneliness, yet cottagecore content is blooming on social media and online communities.

One common criticism of cottagecore is its exclusivity. Much of its content is inspired by literature about wealthy white people being rich and melancholic.
While this could be true, that cottagecore often appeals to a specific community, demographic, it’s not correct to say that’s the case from the beginning of it trending online. I believe capitalism, amongst all, it’s extremely flattening as a system with communities, no one cares about communities, the strawberry dress must be sold to everyone! (remember for copyright issue).

And, indeed, fantasising about aesthetics, that could take inspiration from the past but are still performative in the present, can be an extremely useful tool for marginalised communities to empower themself and their identity in spaces that were always white cis coded.

Another critique is the poverty play.
Anything involved in the cottage core movement products’ production has been typically aimed to upper class people (meme di vestiti per bambini ricchi) that never got involved in the country lifestyle, and this is happening again, playing with a nostalgic feeling for those that never experienced that kind of living, that live usually in urban areas. Let's call it anemoia as it should be.
Usually in fashion we see this poverty play… at play.
Fashion was always a manner of trying to understand from which class a person you were talking to were from. Pastoral fashion, for instance, was never about disguising wealth, but rather about cosplaying as the rural poor in a way that made it clear you were wealthy. This artificiality is still present in modern cottagecore, as it is in many trends, such as hip hop and rap fashion. The "shabbiness" typical of real life in nature is fabricated in cottagecore. (shein?)


Another critique, as for the “trad wife”, it’s not about aesthetic and style anymore, is when the aesthetic becomes moralistic and politicised.
Clearly cottagecore is often associated with anti-capitalism and anti-globalisation, and with a profound desire for independence. So to me it’s weird how people associate cottagecore, that seems like a profound liberating aesthetic mostly for women, to the trad wife life, even if I can see some strings there. While they share interests like sustainability, organic cooking, and gardening, cottagecore values loneliness, not family values, and stands apart in its political stance.

references https://gnet-research.org/2023/05/19/co-opting-cottagecore-pastoral-aesthetics-in-reactionary-and-extremist-movements/
https://www.jstor.org/stable/44086226?read-now=1#page_scan_tab_contents
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErBs75hKJWc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YRl4Kdnl2E
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfnl3x17Q5c