User:Loes van Dorp/Thoughts Project

2 november

• I mailed the director of Old-Poelgeest with questions about the jagerswoning.

31 October

• De daltons, child serie...' Nieuwe Buren'

part one part from 9.17

part two till 2.17

In this episode the boy walks in the empty house of the neighbors who just moved out after one of them died. While walking in the house he imagined how and where the neighbor could have died.

A way to project the imagination of the brain into the space.

• fantasy and memory

What is real and what is made up by the brain?

30 October

Memory: What triggers a memory to appear? A smell, an object, a space. Or is memory there all the time? What we remember and what we forget forms us who we are and how we will response on situations in the future.

Why should the memories to use be bad, can't they be happy? Or is it a matter of using both in the right balance... Isn't it easier to remember the nice things of the past? I tend to forget the bad things. For example, I went hiking every year with the scouts. Every year I was very eager to go again, only to find out that I forgot about the negative things during these hikes.

Which way to go with this interest?

• Autobiographical,

use my own memory as starting point for a fiction.

Use My own memory as the story

• Bigger history about a building,

using its archives and imagination to create a story.

• Use the same location/space, but several generation talking about there memory of that place.

In the town where my grandmother lives, my aunt grew up there and still lives there as well as her daughter(my cousin) and her grand daughter. so that are four generations I could work with.

• One event, two sides of the story, both rel but contradicting... rashomon like, what to believe

Places to use

• Old police station Leiden
• Jagerswoning Oud Poelgeest, oegstgeest
• Home Kees in Voorhout

The use of Time

• Past, present future
• Real time v.s. time of creating.

Brainstorm 9 October

What I like about memory is how little we know about the function and how important it is for creating a personality. How easy memory is manipulated and how memories of the past will be adjusted by experience in the future. For example: When I was around 7 years old I was walking to school in the morning, I saw to cats fighting. There was one little one and the other one was very big and obvious stronger than the little one. Te small one was crying very loudly. After I pulled the cats apart I felt pretty good about myself, because I saved that little cat. A couple of years later I wrote about cats and got hit by the fact how cats mate and realized I didn't see to cats fighting and saved the little cat. I was a interrupter of a mating session. ..

The fact that my uncle always tickled me in a funny way, changed its meaning when I heard years later that he was a pedophile.

No- one has exact the same memory. Would it be interesting to let different memories about the same thing fight each other. As in the film Zusje and Rashomon.

Memories are unreliable.

I want to play around whit these facts and make a story which takes place in one building, one spot.

Memory of space, you easily forget how it was before.

It is also interesting How people want to archive life, save everything, information, making libraries. Like how I want to write and draw things down and keep it with me.

The screen memory/ false memory......Which are reel and which are projections of memory who is not yours..

collective memory, you use other peoples experience to make your own work on. The media influences this collective memory .

Memory keeper. When you write down memories, you change the memory because you have to translate it in words. The proces os verstarring will occur sooner when written down, because it displaces the memory, like pictures do become the memory, instead of the memory itself. I think I rememner when I walked for the first time,or the moment that I didn't want to pee in my diper when I was one, but I do remember it because my mother told me that story and know it feels like my own memory.

Old buildings I can use:

• Old policebuilding langebrug. A lot of things happened here.
• Meel fabriek

• Huis Kees ( next to jaap studio), Only I do not know when it is going to be sold...

• Contact 'stadlab 'for using old buildings.site stadslab

5 september

Screen memory False Memory

Memory of space , how it looked like before. When you see a space which has been looking differently before, in your mind you keep the memory of how it looked before. But not for long. After a while the old memory lose form and disappear.

You have memories of actions in a space which hasn't changed at all. Which could be many.

haunting for memories, haunting the past. True the screen you see the past. Was that the real past? Or was it differently, did you remember it wrong? By whipping this memory of the screen, another one appears. This time a memory which is not that good and that I fight to get rid of it by scratching on the screen.. Chased by memories, Looking for the good memories, memories who turn into bad memories....

Should I use my own past? Make a story based on my own memories? Things I want to forget and things I do not remember. How do I show something I cannot remember ? In which space?

Or should I dive into a history of a building and make a story of my search to the memories of that building? This by talking to people and about there memory. In that way I will have a lot of memories different ones about the same place. They might contradict each other. Like Marcia and mine idea about visiting grandmother and father is very different, but both true. So I can search for one happening or one space and collect memories and create a search animation with that. something historical in Leiden , like 'de waag'. There is history and now because they rent it out, a lot of party memories.... What is interesting about that? Isn't it more interesting to keep it more close to myself? But it is more difficult to use my own inner conflicts of memory. I do not know if Ii want to confront other people with myself......

30 augustus 2011

what do I want to do with this technique? Where can I use it for ? and how can I use it differently than I did in my test last year?

Hunting memories. Searching for memories. The process s of trying to remember. The struggle during this search. Of myself or somebody else? Two different people fighting over the accuracy of their memory of one event. ( jaap and I- Annie and Jannie) Like in the film Zusje, where an awful memory about a girls childhood turned out to be not as bad as she remembered it. FALSE MEMORY. Zusje

Or different generations living in the same village, telling their memory about one specific place. ( Oma, Annie of Jannie, Doortje, Guusje)

The process of forgetting. Fading of the memory. We forget more than we remember. For a reason, we will not be smarter if we would remember everything, we will only be more confused. Memory is something that forms you, who you are and how you react in certain situations.

'Memory of the future' can we already have an image of the future? And therefore remember it when we are in that future. You can make decisions for the future, the memory about what you want to become when you are older is a memory of the future....

Memory of the future is just as unreliable as the memories of the past. Both are changing all the time during live experience. Memory of dreams..

What were my first memories? Are these pure or influenced by stories told about them? Or collective memory? What could bring you back into a memory? An action, a space, a smell, a feeling...

Projection of memory in time and space... Memories of my own past in my old neighborhood? Like I wanted to make when I was in the 3th year of KABK. That house in the 'pinksterbloemstraat' is a house that still returns in my dreams. It is a house where I have lived in a very big and important part of my live.

Must it be autobiographical? Documentary like? That also I do not know on forehand where the story will go? A documentation of the my Memories? Or should I make a story based on my own memories, but then adjust to fit in a good story?

Memories never come in one clean story, they are like a dream, like brakhage films. In new build houses are no memories yet. There are no ghosts of the past yet, there are ghost, but very fresh ones.....

How? Better prepared than the test. Maybe first go on the hount for memories with the frame, but without the memories. After that work out the memories I came along and do the same thing again, but then with the animation in the frame....

Why? to show the extra layer we see when we come in a familiar or unfamiliar place. To show what our brain does. A way to show how memory is like a ghost, it haunts you or you haunt it... It gives a place a extra dimension, you see the different times, the real time, the time of producing the memory and the time in the memory. It is past and present together. It makes you look in a other persons head. It shows the projection in the brain.... Screen memory is a memory that is there to replace a memory you do not want to have. Which of the memories are reliable? Which are the screen memories?