User:Laurier Rochon/work/tragicnine

Tragic Nine

The gist of it

• You subscribe to the Tragic Nine show (it's a soap opera newsletter)
• I use a computer script to gather tragic news from around the world, extract the stories from it and transform it into a soap opera narrative.
• Nine lines are sent to you by email just in time for your morning coffee
• The next day, I use the last section of of the previous episode as the search criterion to gather news stories, and do the same. You are sent the next episode just in time for your morning coffee.
• Same next day, and all other ones after.
• You are absolutely hooked.

Proof of concept

This test was done using actual scraping - the text needs massaging, yes.

DAY I (email 1)

"You're a good person"

"I don't know who you think I am, bitch," she snarls, "but I'm not that person"

I don't feel that I'm special in that way

"I don't want her talking to me!" she screams

Sgt Beth Walton from the Road Death Investigation Unit wants to talk to anyone who saw the collision or remembers seeing either car just before it happened

Reassuring too that the case has been turned over to the Metro Homicide Unit for further investigation

"Britney turns to Ghalib and grabs his arm"

Then she ducks into the dressing room with Ghalib

"Leave us alone!" yells Ghalib


''<More of the drama tomorrow...>''





DAY II (email 2)

<In the previous episode : "Leave us alone!" yells Ghalib>



"Her legs are actually really skinny," an adolescent whispers into her Sidekick, as Britney beelines for the Betsey Johnson boutique, pseudo-punk designer of evening dresses and splashy heels worn to suburban high school proms

Spirits will be heightened, but I imagine they will also be high

Undaunted, the little boy picks up his father’s spear and rushes to drive it through the old man, who, recognizing the boy’s samurai spirit, embraced him in death, calling him “Grandson of my heart

It is the story of a samurai who walked the path of death while pushing a small cart in which sat his little boy

They walk a different path

I walked through life with a constant weight in my head for a couple of years

Over the next couple of years, the stakes seemed to increase

Each miserable day seemed eternal, and yet within five years, I did rebuild, and I met the woman I would marry


<More of the drama tomorrow...>





DAY III (email 3)

<In the previous episode : Each miserable day seemed eternal, and yet within five years, I did rebuild, and I met the woman I would marry >



It ended with the wish of a prayer or blessing for the person finding it

The princess marries the prince, and everyone is guaranteed a happy ending

It doesn't mean I don't have happy days in between, but I do worry

 The best antidote to sadness is the argument that things will get better, and short of that, to find happiness in the moments that follow, and short of that, to just find meaning

It seemed so likely to me that things would be worse before they would get better

Still, people can tell me things will get better, and they might be right

No, not so perfect, but so right

All rights reserved

...

Another way of seeing what it does

|               lots of information + boring             |
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           |           almost there           |
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                  CAPTIVATING SOAP OPERA
                      IN YOUR INBOX

Building blocks

The tragedy

The soap opera

Worldwide news

The algorithm