User:Kul/ANIMALS

GAME’s RULES!

1. Get the treasure (= gold) as fast as possible and be happy about it !
2. The classic rule of this and every game: get rid of all obstacles and competitors - kill, plunder, burn and be happy about it !
3. You may make 5 moves in each round. Please, indicate the direction (W-E-S-N) e.g. two steps north, 3 steps east / 5 steps south / 1 step east , 2 steps north and 2 step west.
4. If you step off the grid, you must wait one round to get back in the game.
5. You have 6 military means: 3 to weaken your enemy, 3 to kill your enemy (killing is the recommended way! )
6. When weakened by your enemy you still have 3 rounds to get to the treasure and become immortal+famous +handsome
7. When weakened twice by your enemy you still have 1 round to get the treasure and get fully recovered.
8. When weakened thrice you are sadly dead.
9. When directly attacked you are dead for 100%… unless you are faster. Be faster!

YOUR ANIMAL

The Capitalistic Royal PIG

SPECIAL SUPER POWERS

You can digest everything ( gluten, lactose, an expired microwaved food, a field of corn, crapy soap operas, global warming, injustice, misery and raw humans.) You can also print money.

The Pig is equipped with 6 tactical means; 3 for protection and 3 to destroy the potential enemies:

TO WEAKEN

You have 3 Indonesian kids to use as living human shields (as a mean of forestalling an enemy attack.)

TO KILL

3 times during the game time you can use your ability to instantly swallow your enemy legitimately overtaking the tactical means he has left. You can also takeover his property/wife if you want to.

The Chauvinist TIGER

SPECIAL SUPER POWERS

You are THE white straight male.

The Tiger is equipped with 6 tactical means; 3 for protection and 3 to destroy the potential enemies:

TO WEAKEN

You can piss & spit at your enemy with your deadly masculine liquids.

TO KILL

You should stick random phallic objects into their internals causing infamy and immediate death. Incidentally you have 2 big cucumbers and one magnificent carrot in your backpack.

The Fundamentally Holy ZEBRA

SPECIAL SUPER POWERS

You can walk on water ( Perrier, Pellegrino, and polluted. )

The Zebra is equipped with 6 tactical means; 3 for protection and 3 to destroy the potential enemies:

TO WEAKEN

You can cause cancer 3 times during the game time.

TO KILL

3 times during the game time you can successfully convince your enemy that it is actually great to detonate himself.

The Working Class TEDDY-BEAR

SPECIAL SUPER POWERS

You are invisible every second round, otherwise you are just unemployed and insignificant.

The Teddy-Bear is equipped with 6 tactical means; 3 for protection and 3 to destroy the potential enemies:

TO WEAKEN

Just be yourself: emotional, decadently feckless, and inefficient! Clog pipes, mix up wires, and leave your enemy without running water and electricity. You can do this 3 times during the game time.

TO KILL

3 times during the game time you can join the union, go on strike and block the entire system. That will cause the economical, moral and biological bankruptcy of your enemy. While watching your enemy slowly bleeding you can use this time to overtake 2 tactical skills form your enemy.

While system is blocked you can also use 3 extra moves to approach the treasure.

The Good Old Sherif DOG

SPECIAL SUPER POWERS

You are actually a very nice person. A good and righteous man.

The Dog is equipped with 6 tactical means; 3 for protection and 3 to destroy the potential enemies:

TO WEAKEN

3 times during the game time you can deport you enemy outside of the grid area where he shell wait one round.

TO KILL

Shoot!!!! You have a big shinny pistol and 3 equally shinny bullets :)

The Princess BUNNY

SPECIAL SUPER POWERS

You look good and smell ok. You are terribly attractive.

...and your crown is sharp like a razor.

The Bunny is equipped with 6 tactical means; 3 for protection and 3 to destroy the potential enemies:

TO WEAKEN

You can show your tits 3 times. That will cause chronic blindness upon your enemy and some local peasants.

TO KILL

3 times during the game time you can submit yourself to the sexual act and cut out your enemy's kidney together with 2 tactical skills he has left. That will cause his immediate death.

The Refugee GIRAFFE

SPECIAL SUPER POWERS

You are everywhere!!!! Presumably already in Europe! Maybe even in Germany!

The Giraffe is equipped with 6 tactical means; 3 for protection and 3 to destroy the potential enemies:

TO WEAKEN

You can smell bad without any effort and paralyse your enemy by manifesting your exotic suspicious cultural habits.

TO KILL

3 times during the game time you can multiply endlessly and flood/engulf your enemies.

LINK to nowhere

[1]