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| <span style="color:green">This page collects annotations that are small and don't warrant their own page. It is a drafting ground for in-progress writing, and some entries might migrate to a dedicated page as they grow. Also, as the manual grows, I expect more single line annotations to emerge, some entries to be broken up, and more fun to be had with the questionable linearity of the thesis!</span> | | <span style="color:green">This page collects annotations that are small and don't warrant their own page. It is a drafting ground for in-progress writing, and some entries might migrate to a dedicated page as they grow. Also, as the manual grows, I expect more single line annotations to emerge, some entries to be broken up, and more fun to be had with the questionable linearity of the thesis!</span> |
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| ==About Thijs==
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| <span style="color:red">Necessary.</span>
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| <span style="color:green">This annotation is about introducing Thijs (me), as an attempt to situate the thesis and to give context for the personal parts of writing. For now, I've tried to capture some necessary information and cover the important pillars. As the thesis grows, and I give more hints towards my person, I might add to / change the lists (e.g. how the library point connects to About Routines)</span>
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| This is THIJS.
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| There are some things that are true about THIJS:
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| * THIJS is a student of experimental publishing, a MFA program in Rotterdam. (true)
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| * THIJS has a background in computer science and mathematics and game making. (true)
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| * THIJS is a frequent visitor of local libraries. (true)
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| * THIJS has been told to come with a manual. (true)
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| There are a lot of things that are false about THIJS:
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| * THIJS absolutely detests text-adventures. (false)
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| * THIJS is a confident navigator. (false)
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| * THIJS has experienced it all. (false)
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| * THIJS has never cried while writing THESIS. (false)
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| There are also things about THIJS that are neither true nor false:
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| * THIJS comes with a manual. (?)
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| * THIJS has a clear idea of who they are. (?)
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| * THIJS is in critical danger of becoming an obsolete medium. (?)
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| * THIJS is me, Thijs, 'I', the writing voice in this THESIS. (?)
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| ==About This Thesis==
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| <span style="color:red">Maybe necessary, depending on About Navgation.</span>
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| <span style="color:green">Annotation describing the thesis, separate from introductory annotation about navigation. Meant to parallel About Thijs and further implant some implied questions while giving some playful instight into the ontology of this text. Choses sentences might change as the thesis develops.</span>
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| This is THESIS.
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| There are things that are true about THESIS:
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| * THESIS explores disassociativity through the lens of text-adventures. (true)
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| * THESIS is a collection of annotations to a manual for a game. (true)
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| * THESIS is a personal account, a subjective exploration. (true)
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| * THESIS invites you to explore, together, this adventure through text. (true)
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| There are a lot of things that are false about THESIS:
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| * THESIS is an isolated text. (false)
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| * THESIS must be read in one specific way, navigated in one correct order. (false)
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| * THESIS makes you experience it all. (false)
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| * ...
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| There are also things about THESIS that are neither true nor false:
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| * THESIS is an obsolete memorabilia. (?)
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| * THESIS can say what THIJS cannot. (?)
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| * THESIS is a 6 month old infant, ready to be set free in the world. (?)
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| * ...
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| ==About Disassociation==
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| <span style="color:red">Necessary.</span>
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| <span style="color:green">This annotation is meant to give a (my) 'definition' of disassociation. Can be short.</span>
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| <span style="color:orange">Need reference(s).</span>
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| ==About Text-Adventures== | | ==About Text-Adventures== |
| <span style="color:red">Necessary.</span> | | <span style="color:red">Necessary.</span> |
| <span style="color:green">This annotation is about talking about text-adventures, accompanying [[User:Thijshijsijsjss/Human_Parser/About_Interactive_Fiction|another entry]] talking about interactive fiction. The latter makes a thematic connection to disassociation. This entry should be more explanatory of what TAs are. Can be shorter, and should annotate an 'early' part of the manual. Main references Get Lamp and Twisty Little Passages.</span> | | <span style="color:green">This annotation is about talking about text-adventures, accompanying [[User:Thijshijsijsjss/Human_Parser/About_Interactive_Fiction|another entry]] talking about interactive fiction. The latter makes a thematic connection to dissociation. This entry should be more explanatory of what TAs are. Can be shorter, and should annotate an 'early' part of the manual. Main references Get Lamp and Twisty Little Passages.</span> |
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| ==About Obsolete Media==
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| <span style="color:red">Was core, then nice to have, now sits beautifully awkwardly between thematic, core and optional.</span>
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| <span style="color:green">Annotation acknolowedging the connection to obsolete media. It seems like this axis is not super present, which I'm okay with (there might still be some pen plotter action), but I think it's still nice to mention, and connects to some other entries.</span>
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| ''This is a love letter.''
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| Dear,
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| I have not told you about my first week of COVID19 lockdown. I was asked to instruct teachers on how to use Microsoft Teams. I had never used Microsoft Teams. In fact, I was oblivious to the mere existence of Microsoft Teams. But it was a paid job, and I needed money, so I said yes. My first teaching session was in 3 hours.
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| At first, it was nice. I got to talk to many people, bonding over the shared awkwardness of misunderstanding the software that was forced upon us. Maybe it was strenghtened by the early pandemic atmosphere, but in our mutual navigation, I found a great care. I felt appreciated for my efforts, and was excited to share and help, and was curious to explore the seams of Teams.
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| (But this is ''not'' a love letter directed to Microsoft Teams.)
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| It did not last long. There was no time for misunderstanding this software, no virtue in failing to use it as Microsoft intended. Soon, my assistance was no longer needed. Not because I had been succesful in conveying the curiosity and care that would allow .... But because new software was imposed -- we needed to innovate and quickly adapt. The need for ... vanished, and with it, this little community of care.
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| Recently, I had to uninstall Microsoft Teams from my phone. My device had gotten 'too old'. I wasn't using these chats, but it was a great isolation to be forced to part with them, forced to remove myself from the social context for not keeping with the latest technology, for not keeping up with the fast paced world.
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| 1296 days later, I met you, dear PLOTTER.
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| (This is a love letter to my HP7475A pen plotter -- a printer-like machine from 1983 that holds physical pens to draw. A machine that was collecting dust, left alone after being deemed 'too old'.)
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| I had never heard of PEN PLOTTERS, and I was oblivious to your existence. There was no decision made that led us to meeting. You were there, and I was there, too. I'm usually a little shy, and am usually quite self-aware and embarrassed by that. But you were so beautifully showing your own vulnerability, that I did not worry about sharing mine. I have never been comfortable in these exploratory steps, and I try to hide this. I am a confident navigator (false), I have experienced it all (false) and know who I am (?). But you gave me time. For the first time, I felt like I was exploring truly in collaboration. To my surprise, I was not scared to touch you. Nor was I scared to take it slow. I was still a little scared to fail. But with you, I did not worry that feeling appreciated had to be transactional, like I needed to push myself to justify my presence. The time we spent together was so much more simple, simpler than my head usually makes life out to be. With you, I was experiencing life with so much meaning.
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| Later, you told me: I enjoyed and will cherish every part of us, because I was always fully engaged in every second of it.
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| Now, we haven't talked in a while (57 days). But I know this is temporary. I know you are there, and I am here, too. We still have time. Time to care and fail and care more, in this little journey we are exploring together. Sometimes I worry that you are the one calling yourself 'too old'. But when the time comes, when you are 'too old' again, when the time comes, when I'm overwhelmed again by the pace of life, when that time comes I will always choose you.
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| [End of love letter, now onto reflection -- possibly start of new header: About Obsolete Media, 2]
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| [reflection leads to [https://loriemerson.net/2021/11/21/six-difficult-and-inconvenient-values-to-reclaim-the-future-with-old-media%ef%bf%bc/ Lorie Merson text]]
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| [not some fantasy of elsewhere leads to TAs]
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| <span style="color:green">First half is too long. While 'personal' on paper, I don't feel it is very personal, not in the way About Routines is. Not that all intimacy should be confessional, but here I feel like it's too gimmicky atm. Might need to change, might feel differently in the future. We'll see. Second part I like. But as a whole, the section spend too much time on setting the scene, in ways that are only vaguely contributing to the core story on the thesis? This is the longest annotation yet, but certainly not the most central one.</span>
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| ==About Prophetic Diagnoses== | | ==About Prophetic Diagnoses== |
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| <span style="color:green">About how a label / description of you might influence you, as a self-fulfilling prophecy. After the player's functionality score is exceeded, the 'day ends' and they are presented a report of their actions. Can be connected there (someone's narration of your life / person makes you that person).</span> | | <span style="color:green">About how a label / description of you might influence you, as a self-fulfilling prophecy. After the player's functionality score is exceeded, the 'day ends' and they are presented a report of their actions. Can be connected there (someone's narration of your life / person makes you that person).</span> |
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| ==About Routines== | | ==About Human Parsers== |
| <span style="color:red">Optional.</span> <span style="color:green">Might be a nice extension to About Parsing, and a more personal account (which I like and I think is welcome). Hope it can convey undertones of themes I'm not explicitly naming. And I hope / like to show some of my process and connect it themstically (similar to About Signalling). Don't know if 'routines' is the final name.</span> | | <span style="color:red">Core / meta.</span> |
| | | <span style="color:green">I think it would be nice to state the 'tagline' of my project. Yet to be decided if it should just be the tagline, or with some more elaboration. For now mirror the About Thijs / Thesis sections, but not attached to that idea.</span> |
| When I was in high school, I played the piano. I knew a few songs. One time, I played a song in front of friends, and overheard a negative comment. Every time I played that song after that, I heard that same comment at that position in the song. Soon, every song I knew triggered an associated memory.
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| I write this thesis in long library sessions. Sometimes I hear people talk about their dreams. Moving abroad, exploring the world. Traveling in a campervan, months on the road. These sound like wonderful dreams. But anytime I'm 5 hours deep into a library session, I can't help but think: this is all I want in life, this abstract monotonous familiar approximation of happiness. So I go to the library, and write. And then I walk home. I walk home listening to the same song every time. ''Islands'', by King Crimson. Listening to ''Islands'', I walk home thinking the same thoughts I thought the first time walking home listening to this song. It was November 14 2024, 102 days and many library sessions ago. I just happened to listen to ''Islands'' that day. I had just shared the song with a person very dear to me. In an attempt to express how I felt, or maybe in the hopes they would be able to tell me. I walk home and listen and think the thoughts I thought that day. 8:15 into the 11:56 minute song, I arrive home. Sometimes I silently cry in the hallway for the remaining 221 seconds before taking off my shoes and continuing my day. These days, I'm not able to share songs anymore with that person very dear to me. Sometimes it's difficult to interpret your thoughts and emotions.
| | A parser is an interpreting agent -- what is A HUMAN PARSER? |
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| After a while, I had to take a break from playing piano. Every note triggered a memory. This was too much. I tried it again recently, 2403 days since high school, but memories I hadn't thought about in years still came back, vividly. Songs I'm not able to share anymore, no one to tell me how I feel. The exercise of empathy and understanding extends to oneself, the imaginative parsing. Why do I keep listening to ''Islands''?
| | * A HUMAN PARSER is an interpreter that happens to be a human agent. |
| | * A HUMAN PARSER is an interpreter that parses humans. |
| | * A HUMAN PARSER makes the act of parsing, or interpreting, human. |
