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<code><big>H e l l o and well come to the.......................................................................</big></code>
== /XPUB2/PROTOTYPING ==
 
13-11-24 I just had my talk with Michael yesterday and I feel like I have stuff everywhere. From which I have to grab the best parts and divide them into what I want put in the thesis (outline) and the project (proposal).  
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== 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 ==
* ~!!!! IMPORTANTSELFNOTEPOEM
                  <big>== '''Assesmental Presentental Wikipageroo aka Lorenzo Quint's''' ==</big>
* <code>''<sub><small>'''<u>[X] ONE THING AFTER THE OTHER.</u>'''</small></sub>''</code>
* <code>''<sub><small>'''<u>[X] THERE ISSTILL TIME.</u>'''</small></sub>''</code>
* <code>''<sub><small>'''<u>[X] YOU WANT TO HAVE EVERYTHING DONE BY YESTERYEAR AND YOU PUT A BIG PRESSURE ON YOU</u>'''</small></sub>''</code>
* <code>''<sub><small>'''<u>[X] DONT BREATHEN'T</u>'''</small></sub>''</code>  
* <code>''<sub><small>'''<u>[X] DO THE THINGS BY THINGS AND THEN YOU SHARPEN</u>'''</small></sub>''</code>
* <code>''<sub><small>'''<u>[X] DOUBT ONLY IS GOOD WHEN CRITICAL AND PREPARED, DOUBT IS NOT GOOD WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING DOUBTABLE</u>'''</small></sub>''</code>
* <code>''<sub><small>'''<u>[X] WRITE IT OFF, WALK IT OFF, WORK IT OFF AND PROCEED.</u>'''</small></sub>''</code>
* <code>''<sub><small>'''<u>[X] EVERYBODY IS CONFUSED, IT IS ALL FINE AND THE HECTICITY IS STARTING BUT ALSO PART OF IT.</u>'''</small></sub>''</code>
* ~~!!!!!!!!
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= ''*airhorn sounds* == '''BEST OF XPUB1 TRIMESTER 1 & 2 = Protocolastic Quiltessential Boogaloo''' == *that windows celebrational noise.mp3*'' =


== 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 ==
<s><br /></s>
BEFORE WE START I WOULD LIKE TO say that this is a type of presentation format I'm just playing with. Everything is in one place on this page. I will scroll back and forth, I will reflect and whilst making this I'm overthinking about this being the right way, but there is no right way. Anyway let's get on with the show->>>>>


== /XPUB2/PROTOTYPING/COLLOQUIUM/ ==
https://pad.xpub.nl/p/prototyping-colloquium-lorenzo 
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<big>This is the page you will be watching whilst experiencing the process I went through. It will be a bit on the linear chronological side. As an old wise cliché once said whilst gazing to the inevitable sunburn:</big>  
==== ''<u>REFLECTING:</u>'' ====
 
It is now 3,5 weeks ago since the colloquium. There was an interesting method I (subconsciously) started to develop. Asking the questions
<image of a mountain.jpeg> <some wacky pseudoscientific font.otf>
 
<big>''You need to look backwards in order to look forwards. (Or if you want to use a cheat code up up down down left right left right B BA RT LT left X O spacebar spacebar spacebar epic backspace)''</big> 
 
 
 
so before we ask ourselves: [[How did we get here?]] / Transport / /DOOR/PORT.html
 
I'm first going to talk about the first trimester.
 
== SI22 -> Graveyard - > Questionnairerasure / protocols for passive hoarding / Marie KonDON'T -> ByteNoise: Sound You See Me, Sound You Don't ==
<blockquote>'''THE GRAVEYARD METAPHOR'''
 
When we were working in the WordHole and thinking about metaphors for the archive.
 
The state of grief influenced me about how to deal with an archive. We were talking talking about ways to work with amounts of data and my Metaphor  came about a graveyard as an 'archive' with the 'datasets' on the stones. The idea was about having a place where we could 'bury' the files that were not used in order to give some honour to the effort concerning the making of the radio worm.
 
I said in my recording that at some point you just need to let it go because it's not coming back. The things that would be thrown away in the recycle bin folder, were still on the hard drive.
 
A proposition I made back then was "maybe we just leave it as is and just delete them and have a radio memorial service as a last salute rather than saving it for maybe later purposes without knowing when or if it would be used."
 
And I was clearly stating it as NOT Marie Kondo'ing it but just for the sake of cleaning up > maintenance.
 
Cleaning out the space, what is important?
 
Active archiving -> the 'worm' goes into the ground and there is stuff everywhere but 'worm' just goes where there is food. All the other things in the ground are dissolving and rotting away anyway.
 
To look at the idea of do we need this later, No. </blockquote>during a methods class with Steve, we were doing an exercise that was about 'free for all typing' considering our thoughts on the special issue in order to create a narrative (from what I can still remember). It became a poem that with the format of the codeblock presented as some sort of net-poem. <syntaxhighlight lang="abap">
<i> Questionnairerasure
 
Are worm a space a radio and a place and more
 
I listen in / to worm
 
I go out I listen I read and I archive.  Through the pipeline |
 
can’t keep anything that is clutter but need to keep the importance and dance.
 
not the snake, am the wormoborous the community that feeds on ourshelves.
 
Leave the archive as to what is important rather than imported. leave files
 
And will come around and eat the cookies the crumbs lost. !important
 
Use the space for the next to continuity in unity of the worm
 
Prepare for leaving but never for farewell. Say goodbye to what you usen’t.
 
Is het kunst of kan het weg?
 
meaning
 
Is it art or can it be thrown in the trash
 
Can we empty the bin
 
In order to begin where our wormhole left us
 
If moved from here to there to then from now
 
What is taken
 
What is taken into consideration
 
In what state is the open city, In which state lies it and how do you leave it
 
The space as the wormhole through the wordhole takes us into the active archivalry.
 
The physicality contradicts the practicality, being pragmatic of fragments
 
Being pragmatic over the roots of the space into the data trees
 
What can be erased?  In order to digest, what is there
 
It should be clear, or cleared or ´klaar´ which means done


You can store it elsewhere but that isn’t viable over the long run, worms don’t run, they crawl and feed on what is there.
<syntaxhighlight lang="qvto">
"Search for examples of city planning / marketing / maintenance of the city/village/township where you are from*"
collect img / promises / memories                    
then.......
ask yourself / eachother "how does -location- relate to you as the inhabitant*?"
aaand thennn 
ask yourself / eachother "how do you relate to -location-?"


This is no calling for to be sterile or a vote for marie kondo, please kondon’t, but only the wormunity can understand what needs to be kept
*free interpretation ofcourse, whatever feels the most comfortable
 
Who are the worms, do they want to keep everything?
 
Are they capable of leaving recordings behind?
 
Is it a doom scenario to delete stuff to remain active in archive
 
Or does cluttering / hoarding / keeping storage in servers and clouds fit the idea or the worm
 
Will the worm be worn out because of the ecological ideas of the worm
 
The worm can’t proceed while being stuck, the worm needs to crawl in order to move, to breathe through the space, how does the worm think of using the space,
 
How do you conserve if conservation can harm the soil, maybe digging a bit too deep in these old gardened graveyards but if we wish to make an apocalyptic doomsday protocol, we must show tough love about the institution of the open city. How do we maintain traffic in a city if the city is blocked and clogged?
 
Making the worm accessible and open implies that space is made. In what order does the worm make space for achieving an active archive rather than proceeding as the hoarding worm.  
 
Consider this an open call for an open city, an open space for an open mind where questions are open food for thought that the worm can digest again and let its excrements be dissolved in the past. </i>
</syntaxhighlight>
</syntaxhighlight>
This poem then lead as on of the backbones to


== ''Byte Noise: Sound you see me? Sound you don't''  (w/ Senka) ==
====== 'This part was the most exciting to share because the reactions were interesting:'' ======
[[File:SI22 Launch image Byte Noise 1.jpg|thumb|© Florian Cramer]]
 
{{User:Lor.ensō/Lorenzo's Byte Noise project process page}}
 
== METHODS IN TRIMESTER 1 Jo Freeman's The Tyranny of Structurelessness / my reflections on the ideas of alternatives or at least the idea(l)s of alternative ==
 
 
This text was something that really stuck to me in many ways. I was born in a 'red nest' and I have always considered myself a leftist (and no this is not a story about me being a liberated ancap libertarian, barf.) and part of subcultural scenes and supporter of autonomous spaces and the ideas of alternatives.
 
However, I have my doubts on the ideas of alternatives. In the text (and I'm paraphrasing now) the idea of community living is raised and questioned, the idea of a non-hierarchical community seems amazing, yet some sort of power structure or better put 'order' is inevitable. The more self-aware and critique friendly the better.
 
The text spoke to me as well because this idea of a big united group of ideology seems like an [oppositional] utopia.  Especially in this time of online politics / meme culture wars. 
 
I have been thinking about the idea of an alternative doesn't mean that the alternative is actually the better alternative, yet the idea of an alternative could be. 
 
Especially during covid (oh no a reference to my gradwork) it became visible that people who appeared to be critical thinkers fell for the conspiracy theories. Or that the ideas of a big pharma are given such a horror scenario that wellness (that makes way more money than pharma) is pushing left-leaning progressives via the anthroposophisticated homeopathic tunnel towards the conservative church of health hazards and [forgot the word] 
 
even though the internet is not all responsible for this but also the education and environmental influences that result people to go into their programmed minds. (I think that if you come from a space where certain beliefs are rooted, could easily influence you in your daily life even though you're agnostic or atheist but still have the coping mechanism of the circles or 'bubbles' you were raised in. ) 
 
<blockquote>'''Confirmation bias'''
 
Tim Minchin [comedian / artist] had a bit on [https://youtu.be/G1juPBoxBdc confirmation bias] where he talks about how search engine algorithms and social media feeds on our assumptions, (pre-existing) beliefs and fuels it with even more related content specifically aimed to these beliefs.
 
He points out that 'we' would do ANYTHING BUT the idea of intellectual heavylifting to change our minds. Which refers to the fact that (online) discourse has been pushing people apart not only from progressive to conservative or from left to right but also within the borders of political ideology where every movement is watched, recorded and frowned upon. 
 
'''Tribalism'''
 
Minchin speaks about how human beings love to be in herds and part of a group / a city or a community and how the internet is making distance between tribes and becoming more binary. 
 
the main point I was going to share in relation to structurelessness and my concerns as a leftist towards current state of 'the left' is portrayed by Minchin perfectly in the sense of kindness in modern day discourse is not being presented by (generalized) right wing christian pro gun anti-vaxx conservatives but that modern progressives (with an assumed degree in higher education) are missing the idea of kindness as well as 


''A future of more empathy and understanding for more and more people'' 
=== Bernadette & Rosa https://pad.xpub.nl/p/prototyping-colloquium-lorenzo-2 ===
<blockquote>
> Rotterdam and Riesa


instead, he claims that everybody that is not on 'their' side of the 'line' is immediately a fascist. 
> they looked at merchandise and marketing


'''BUBBLES WITHIN BUBBLES WITHIN BUBBLES WITHIN BUBBLES''' 
''Marketing is produced outside of the marketed city. Rotterdam has popular merchandise''
{| class="wikitable"
|+
!'''BUBBLES WITHIN'''
! '''BUBBLES WITHIN'''
! '''BUBBLES WITHIN'''
! '''BUBBLES'''
|-
|"I can't believe you still follow J.K. Rowling on Twitter"
|"why are you saying ''not all men?!"''
|"Why do you use the F slur in your song?"
|"Why are you sharing pictures of your manicure when you should be posting black squares, which means you are a racist"
|-
| colspan="4" |
|}
As an alternative he says that 
 
''showing humility'' 
 
''mentioning not everybody has had the opportunity to read the books you have and learnt the lessons that you have learned''
 
''practicing the principle of charity'' 
 
''and not assume that anyone that disagrees has a nefarious intent and try to hear their arguments'' 
 
is rejected by the idea of tone policing as he is put into place as a straight white male and that he needs to check his privilege in which he keeps in his satirically put "library on a mahogany shelf next to his BMW keys"  and as he ''checks'' his privileges he concludes that this way of thinking is still ''ffing'' wrong. 
 
He stresses that it ''can not be'' that progressives  progress forward into a future of more empathy and understanding for more people 
 
it ''can not be'' that the primary mechanism by which we approach this future is the suppression of empathy and understanding for anyone that doesn't align with our beliefs. 
 
it ''can not be'' that unmitigated expression of furious outrage will alchemize into a future of peace and love.
 
ofcourse there is reason to want justification and be righteously furious about things and he can be as furious as cis gender straight white male with privileges being pissed off about 700 things before breakfast but it doesn't matter if it's not helping. And it's not helping that these aforementioned tribes are being pushed further and further apart.
 
The moral is that it is hard to change peoples minds but it's not impossible. However, if you would tell someone that they were a fascist and publicly shame them for what they believe, you've lost them and prioritized your need to express outrage and if we're honest, signalling your virtue over the possibility that you could utilize your educational privilege to reach across this algorithmic casm.
 
Src: https://youtu.be/G1juPBoxBdc</blockquote>
 
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-qcXpapsoY <br />
Just after this post I got a insta reel with Daniel Sloss also saying this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-qcXpapsoY]
 
 
Another result is my utter discontent towards how the left parties in the Netherlands have perfectly shown the state of leftism in the Netherlands.
 
I was talking to a friend and we evaluated the elections.
 
I said that
 
''"The lesson that left leaning NL needs to learn, is that political parties being tiny power structures is a very bad example of an alternative.''
 
''the two parties I'd vote for (bij1 / animal party) but also GL/PVDA.  I.e. migration is also a very typical thing at the moment''
 
''This morning (26/11/23) I was watching WNL op Zondag (conservative rightwing talkshow, my mother believes that you need to watch and listen to your opponent in order to understand and grow over their beliefs to unravel their beliefs)''
 
''One of the guests was the controversial Lale Gül and other names like (former left turned right leaning) Zihni Özdil were mentioned that represent 'migrants that who do not want to be viewed as pathetic minorities at all' and the sad soul crushing fact that people that lived here for (more than) 3 generations even voted for Geert Wilders [PVV]''
 
''It made me think, I kinda get the why. The populist belief of "hey, screw your migration, could I be helped first?"''
 
''I heavily disagree with this, but I 'kinda get' why. No human is illegal and there's a humanitarian crisis. However the left here is way too individualistic and fighting between the bubbles, instead of actually uniting as worthy block of strong left (or something) instead of the effing bullshit of moralistic wee measuring whilst the status quo is destroying everything through aggressive neoliberalism.''
 
''I love to see PvdD en Bij1 as strong parties but I just get so sick of this corrupted management system. Fix it between eachother and it was also the worst timing ever right before the elections.  I voted for one of them. But with less motivation than before.''
 
''TL;DR  the dutch left should really start reflecting and start building, repairing and mobilizing.`''
 
Lastly, as I was thinking about all of these things.  
 
that also inspired me in this structurelessness
Dead Kennedys - Where do ya draw the line?
 
''Seems like the more I think I know / The more I find I don't / Every answer opens up / So many questions''
''Anarchy sounds good to me / Then someone asks, "Who'd fix the sewers?" / "Would the rednecks just play king/ Of the neighborhood?"''
''How many liberators / Really want to be dictators? / Every theory has its holes / When real life steps in''
''So, how do we feed and make room for / All the people crowded on our earth / And transfer all that wealth / From the rich to those who need it?''
''Where do ya draw the line? I'm not telling you; I'm asking you''!
''Ever notice hardline radicals can go on star trips, too? Where no one's pure and right except themselves?''
''"I'm cleansed of the system" ('Cept when my amp needs electric power) Or, "The party line says, 'No Feminists can't wear fishnets'"''  
   
   
''Where do ya draw the line? I'm not telling you; I'm asking you!''  
''Riesa uses German mythological creatures and story to profile its city.''
''You wanna help stop war?  Well, we reject your application. You crack too many jokes and you eat meat''.  ''What better way to turn people off than to twist ideas for change. Into one more church that forgets we're all human beings?''


  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-14-Y5bU0QE
# ''"No strong feelings against city marketing. Marketing is not known to address a city's issues. Promoting a city doesn't hide its issues."''
# ''City Marketing is a very subjective perspective on a city, optimistic so it sells better ofcourse.'' 
</blockquote>


=== Anita & Riviera https://pad.xpub.nl/p/lorenzo-colloquium-anita-and-riviera ===
<blockquote><u>'''> Anita looked at the city of Treviso, Italy on its own and its digital entrance'''</u>


Dead Kennedys - Chickenshit Conformist.
''Anita: there seems to be restricted access to the website unless you currently live there, but you can also log in with social media. The information behind this barrier is none. There is a live stream of one of the main squares of the city you can watch''
''Punk's not dead; it just deserves to die when it becomes another stale cartoon''
A closed-minded, self-centered social club. Ideas don't matter; it's who you know
..
Who drive the bright people out of our so-called scene till all that's left is just a meaningless fad
Hardcore formulas are dogshit, change and caring are what's real. Is this a state of mind or just another label?
'''The joy and hope of an alternative has become its own cliché'''
...
Walk tall, act small, only as tough as gang approval
Unity is bullshit when it's under someone's fat boot
Where's the common cause?
Too many factions safely sulk in their shells:
''"Agree with us on everything or we won't help with anything" That kind of attitude just makes a split grow wider''
No one's ever the best once they believe their own press
"Maturing" don't mean rehashing mistakes of the past
The more things change, the more they stay the same
We can't grow when we won't criticize ourselves
The '60s weren't all failure, it's the '70s that stunk
As the clock ticks, we dig the same hole
Music scenes ain't real life, they won't get rid of the bomb
Won't eliminate r### or bring down the banks
Any kind of real change takes more time and work
Than changing channels on a TV set
So, why are we so eager to please peer pressure decrees?
So eager to please peer pressure decrees
Make the same old mistakes, again and again
Chickenshit conformist like your parents


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTXkVVqw9ng<br />
''I think it is quite hard for me to be critical and analyse Treviso now, as I have not lived there for 5 years and am lacking a lot of information of living there now. I am a tourist when I go back and so much has changed since I moved away. I remember there being quite a lack of cultural activities and specifically activities for teenagers that did not involve drinking or just hanging out in the 'loggia dei cavalieri' or 'buranelli'''
src: [[User:Lor.ensō/si22|SPECIAL ISSUE TWENTY TWO PERSONAL CONSTRUCTION SITE]] (enter if you want to see a messy room, if you don't, just keep listening)


'''<u>> Riviera focussed more on city planning and criteria via the official channels</u>'''


==REFLECTION # EXPERIMENTAL PROCESSING OF INFORMATION. WORDHOLE/BLACKHOLE==
''Context: the planning process in the UK is longwinded and complex. There are a lot of slow-moving parts so it takes a long time to get anything done. Camden is a region in the North of London.''


''There's a planning search tool (Currently in beta) where applications can be searched for according to the following criteria:''</blockquote>
''Application Number / Applicant Name / Agent Name / Site Address / Street Name / Proposal Key Word / Ward / Application Type / Development Type / Status''
<blockquote>'''''Co-ordinates of planning in Camden Council'''''


I have to admit, I kinda didn't knew what XPUB was gonna be like.  I recently graduated from KABK / IMD. A different institution and a different course. I knew that another IMD alumni parttook in XPUB. So this first trimester was a bit of a fresh new start for my practice. 'kind of' stepping away from what shaped my graduation project ''Happytalism'' which revolves around the idea of wellness / new age and spirituality industries to be open for business, making more money than big pharma and being a safe haven for charlatans, disinformation weaponizing pseudo health claims.
''I would take account of listed properties, use cases, comments from the public, objections, proposals, opinions, agreements, appeals, communities, councils, parishes, areas of outstanding natural beauty, the greenbelt, the brownbelt, people who protest "Not in my back yard!"  and others who want to build absolutely nothing anywhere near anybody. And, of course, planning applicants who want planning permission.''</blockquote>


I stepped into this fresh new environment with new people and overall a to me new programme. And right after the first weeks of XPUB my life turned around and I needed to reconfigure everything for myself (as I am still kind of doing of course) During the first trimester it was a bit difficult to me to kind of 'find a way' to get back on track. I wanted to deliver something productive.  The changes in my life of course had an immediate effect on my way of thinking. 
=== Wang, Alessia & Maria https://pad.xpub.nl/p/wam ===
<blockquote><u>'''> Maria looked at the pavements, ever changing town square per government change in Athens, Greece'''</u>


We were talking about the ideas of what it means to keep an archive and what protocols there should be made.
''Touristic areas is treated differently (maintenance wise)''


My counterthought was about Protocols for passive hoarding.
''Floods in Athens because of problematic city planning''


As an idea of "we might need this later".
'''''Proposed changes for livability:'''''


   The questions that I / We raised were  'do we really need to preserve everything? What do we take with us?'  
''   1.  Create specific paths around the city for pedestrians, elderly people and people with disabilities or strollers and add a layer on (google) maps with these paths.''


From this point, Senka and I started talking about the questions that were raised about to think about ideas protocols for active archiving. I read that personally as if we were responsible for the maintenance of the Radio Worm's archive. Instead, we made a work that asks for reflection.
''   2. Allow pets on public transport''


With both having made some critical essays / poems, we decided to make a video work because we wanted to visualize the amount of archives. No sound, just video. In these videos, we portray the radio worm from the apocalyptic narrative of SIGNAL LOST: ARCHIVE UNZIPPED.
'''<u>> Alessia looked at Venice, how tourism is, again, more important than maintenance</u>'''


Where Senka shows the vessel of the radio station, I show the amount of data and sounds and players and information that actually go 'live'.
''It's a sinking city, melancholic city.''


''The population is melancholic too.''


''It's not a city for anyone with any kind of disability, accesibility is not something the politics care about, the preservation of the city aesthetic is the most important thing.''


Struggle This was something I was thinking about, concerning the fact I was just *there.*
''High water, Syrens system for the high water, soundscape of the city, Demographic index of Venice population Depopulation, Disneyfication of the city ---> Venice is not disneyland, on social media as an archive of city memories and complaints. Venice is built on logs.''


To be honest, I had some imposter syndrome,  experiencing whilst being around.  
'''<u>> Wang looked at ChongQing, analyzing its heights and depths, considering it is a mountain area city.</u>'''


''ChongQing is a city in the East-South part of China, it is a city build on a mountain, some say ChongQing is a 8D city because all the roads, buildings streets are overlapping, sometimes when you get off from the 1st floor but you're actually at the 20st floor of another building.''


The idea of the wordhole or actually the first trimester struck to me as a black hole
''It is a very interesting city for travel and food(where the hot pot comes from), but a nightmare for drivers and uber eats.''</blockquote>


=== Michel, Mania & Zuzu https://pad.xpub.nl/p/michel-mania-zuzu ===
<blockquote><u>'''> Mania looked at the promises of a better developed square in Warsaw'''</u>


''Once inside the black hole's event horizon, '''matter will be torn apart into its smallest subatomic components and eventually be squeezed into the singularity'''. As the singularity accumulates more and more matter, the size of the black hole's event horizon increases proportionally.''
''For so many years we have been waiting in promise for better development of the square in the very center of Warsaw. I remember growing up with this promise that museum of modern art will be build there. The first thing you see after leaving the central station is a huge parking lot. An exhibition hall was built on the Vistula River - intended to serve as a temporary museum.  And even though we finally have a museum in the center (it opens in October), the museum on the Vistula River remains -  cause it became an absolutely fantastic spot.''


https://www.uu.edu/dept/physics/scienceguys/2001Aug.cfm
''In addition, Warsaw is full of advertisements that scream non-stop! There are also plenty of street markets and kitsch. Previously, I was annoyed by the lack of control and any restrictions regarding advertising and the onslaught of information in public spaces, but now, living in a country where the streets seem so perfect, I miss the kitsch present in my hometown.''




I felt that the matter of xpub/si22 etc was floating around me and I was there like some intergalactic fly on a meteorite. Just being there.  Trying to make the best of it with the understanding of things.  
''If I could change something in my Home town I would definitely add more '''bike paths.''' I see its already improving but still I dont feel very safe cycling there.  That would be the first thing on my list. Once I was hit by a car while cycling in a pouring rain . But I have to admit that the rental bike Veturilo works great.''




If I would think of a 'better scenario', I'd say I'd go more around the PZI /Wdka and join things. But back then my life was pure chaos and I made the decision to do my best and also taking step back in order to be a fly on the wall since I wasn't fully able to work on the SI22.  Keeping the condition in mind that I would do more in the second trimester. It was hard to get back though.


'''<u>> Michel wrote about food in Taipei, Taiwan but also the mobility and overcrowdedness</u>'''


Looking back I didn't really experiment with i.e. printing / terminal related things but more on the ideas of publication and mostly thinking about alternatives
''Din Tai Fung based in Taipei, Taiwan. It is known internationally for its paper-thin wrapped xiaolongbao with 18 folds.''




However I was proud of myself of starting the narrative in the radio show as our improv ideas started.  
''I lived at the bottom of a steep hill. Every time I wanted to get to the center it took forever and I had to carry my bike up the hill. There is a better, less steep driveway that goes a little further, but there is no bicycle path and the road is quite narrow and uncomfortable among cars. However, going down a steep heel is great and I loved coming home along that route, accelerating to wild speed and screaming while going down.''




''Foe my perspectives, it would be nicer if there’s less population in Taipei. Now the estimated population is nearly 3 million(2,766,330) and the size is 271.80 km2 which is the similar size to Amsterdam(243.65 km2), but the population is only around 1 million (1,182,000). I've always struggle to live in a crowed city like this. Also there are too many motorcycles and cars in the city so the government doesn’t focus on the rights of pedestrians and bikers. I always feel unsafe when I cycling or walking on the streets in Taipei, perhaps it is one of the reasons for me in order to have a better lifestyles and living quality in other places.''




'''<u>> Zuzu described Shanghai, its temples and the urban development(or decay) and the tensions that could establish between the inhabitants</u>'''


''Jing'an Temple in Shanghai, situated in a highly coveted and expensive area of the city center, has preserved a Buddhist site amidst the urban sprawl. This has given rise to many urban legends, such as claims related to feng shui, with some believing that the temple's presence boosts the prosperity of the surrounding commercial district.''


''Strangely enough, in stark contrast, there's a saying that Shanghai has the most vibrant Halloween atmosphere in the world.''


''There is a growing need to establish boundaries between people, especially in public spaces. Perhaps this is something that can be cultivated, though I am not entirely sure how. People seem to clash so easily, quick to anger. The last time I stayed in Shanghai, I was there for barely a week, and I felt an overwhelming urge to escape. Maybe it was the summer heat—it magnified my senses, and I became more irritable, more sensitive to everything around me.''


''At the same time, I long for it to lessen the political overtones—the large, slogan-like banners on the streets, the uniformity of shop signs. There’s a sense of rigidity in it all, a subtle pressure that lingers, making the everyday feel more controlled, less free.''</blockquote>


=== Thijs & Victor https://pad.xpub.nl/p/oslo&duiven ===
<blockquote><u>'''> Victor viewed the buildings, international appeal, (re)branding'''</u>


''A city with many faces?''


==SI23 / COUNTERMAPPING / PUBLIC TRANSPORT / /DOOR/PORT "How did we get here?" ==
''barcode – early 2000 financial district modern late capitalist vibe''
[[File:INTERACTIVE_CLOTH.jpg|thumb|300x300px]]


''this area is where a lot of new fancy architecture is being displayed, as it is right by the water it is kind of the face outwards of Oslo, or an attempt at this. this area is a bit touristy and not really a place most Oslo people hang out.''


''prides itself in being a "environment-capital" – whatever that means..''


Ideas session for SI23_________________________________________________________
''to appeal to international business or something''


''has pretty good public transport, but it has been a bit mis-managed, for example they redid the tram tracks like twice in 5 years because of new trams that were to heavy when for the tracks when they first renovated.''


       -(con)text adventure games, where limitations are there in the game (up down south east west north and other commands) and also the limitations offline could be implemented in case / scenarios  |
''this is a bit typical I feel, that they undertake ambitious projects that always go over time and over budget''


 
''poster making tool released in relation to overhaul of Oslo visual identity: which embraces flat illustration and very simplified geometric visuals.''


KEEP IN MIND THIS IS JUST A BRAINDUMP / NO(okmaybesome) CONCRETE THINGS
''the rebranding caused a controversy regarding some lettering on a sports stadium''


...// booting mind>>>>>>>>>>
''slogan from the city herladic''


general comment:
''Unanimiter et constanter – «Enig og standhaftig». something like unified and resilient''


we have so much we can work with (all the readings / prototyping)  /
''old city with stone-age settlements''


imagemagick / python / html css javascript / web / ascii art
''growing up in the suburbs of Oslo playing outside with immidiate vicinity to the forest was defining.''


ghost host parasite server etc / the wordquilt / code of conduct etc etc etc
''has a strong sense of east/west division marked by the "Akers-elva" a river that was the epicenter of industry in the 1800's. Now adays most of the areas that used to be considered "rough" in the city pre 2000 have been heavily gentrified and is now the hippest trendiest most neo-liberal areas in particular "Grünerløkka"''


..
<u>'''> Thijs dove into the municipality of Duiven, its portraits, planning, project renders, identity, mapping, weapon(shield?)'''</u>


''first; '' Maria X mentioned the word '''''question''''' but the connection broke it into '''quest-'''''ion'', which could be a happy accident to use the storyline to ask questions that may have come up in the reading and prototyping of previous weeks. QuiltQuestionQuest or somethin.
''Mix of old town (for a Dutch town this size) and 'quiet suburb from Arnhem', situated in an area with lots of rivers, and remnants of the Roman Limes (region is also called Liemers)''


..
''Sketch from Duiven from 1742''


''second   :'' based on the  adventure txt and fictionalizing human computer something(very paraphrased from a previous text we read)
''Municipality Duiven consists of 3 towns, Duiven, Loo and Groessen''</blockquote>
''In zilver 3 duiven van azuur, de eerste bedekt door een vrijkwartier van keel, beladen met een karbonkel van goud en over alles heen een hartschild van zilver''
<blockquote>''In the last 10 years, the 'town center' has seen an overhaul, now called 'Vitaal Centrum' (funny as most people living in the center are elderly, and there are a lot of 'vitality centers' around. Part of these plans include 45 'sociale huurwoningen' for people ages 55+. Some humble bouwplannen near De Ploen 'Projectfasen' only have 1 phase''</blockquote>


/
=== Notes I got from Manetta: ===
<blockquote>((Expressions of gratitude))<syntaxhighlight lang="f#">
Obsession/research/question


you see what you type -> person a speaks
postcard utopianism
"best scenario"
city marketing


person b does walk compass-like
"where you come from": how does this city profile itself?
"what do you want to change": which axes do you want to add?


limiting the options "You can't open cabinet"   said by person c  
athens: infrastructural tours
oslo: visual identity; we just copy paste a typeface everywhere, not adopt it to a specific place


/
- "collective jam session for research" nice
- pretty open session... intentionally?
- from the municipality pov... from the specific needs pov...
    - from which perspective do you speak?
        issue of time gaps, not living there anymore, .. interestingly brings up the specificness of perspective
        tourists (alessia), youth (anita), disabilities (maria), city marketing (bernadette), pets (maria), city design (victor/zuzu), history (mania), biggest/tallest records (mania), advertisements (mania), city planning (riviera)
    -


the narrator in this part could read it out either non-linear or linear depending on the 'script' so if the person does something not according to script, the narrator will go to bottom of script
- unpack!
    - video municipality.. time to observe together?
    - quote Jara Rocha + Femke Snelting
    - xyzt axes, what do they do, where are they used?


..
How will collected material be used? Why are we doing this? Work towards concrete outputs?


''third'' --> something I have been thinking about[[User:Lor.ensō#Concept:%20Where%20do%20ya%20draw%20the%20line%3F|https://pzwiki.wdka.nl/mediadesign/User:Lor.ens%C5%8D#Concept:_Where_do_ya_draw_the_line?]]  


I am kind of using the idea of Google maps step by step and using the linear story and fictionalizing / gamifying the inaccessible process from A to B  (this is more a political thing and I might just do it for myself on the side)
Personal perspective works!
Moment of sharing after first part would work


this could also just be a personal side ''quest''
---


using 1-3 cases with the idea of connections servers protocols etc
XYZT+? as a method
method to critique + reflect (!)
building infrastructure for this method as a way to circulate it
</syntaxhighlight></blockquote>[[File:Questionmarkeyes.jpg|thumb|Question Mark Eyes]]
<br />TIMESTAMPS AND ANALYSIS
<small>Notes: 10-11: Groups are made, people are invested, I think people are going for it and are enjoying themselves. There were some questions but not changing in context or so.People were really focussing and so I added a few minutes.<br />
Notes 11.15 - 12.15: There were some confusions about how to apply the second part. There were some thinking eyes as if I were in a forest and owls are all looking at me from the dark hahaha. Overall, people were sharing anecdotes and arguments<br />
around 11:45 I went for a walk around to see how things are going :))</small>


..
=== REFLECTION OF THIS SESSION: ===


''fourth:'' yesterday's class reminded me of the dos games / old mac games and the actual collosal cave adventure: Roberta Williams as inspiration https://www.mobygames.com/game/2029/the-roberta-williams-anthology/
=== i ===
The first part of this colloquium was by far the most successful. Because people were invested in going in to groups, even though it took some seconds to get into the zone of diving into their places of origin. I intended to make this a collective jam sessions for research, I was a bit too deep with my head into Rotterdam and I wanted to see how other people would go into their own places.  


https://www.linuxadictos.com/wp-content/uploads/colossal-adventure.jpeg.webp  :)))))
=== ii ===
The second part of the colloquium was something I was invested in at the time but not sure how I would adapt this. Because I aiming towards 3D renders specifically. It would have been better to review this in the second part.


https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a0/Mystery_House_-_Apple_II_render_emulation_-_2.png
=== !? ===
Moments of sharing after first part would have worked better.


https://thehanslickgirls.files.wordpress.com/2018/07/kings-quest-e1532887176786.png
The ?? I had myself and also were ?? in the room:  


I have this with me in the studio btw vvvvvv
* Personal perspectives, stories and observation give so much more context and understanding about the places we are in, rather than the ideas that are being shared from municipalities and commercial outputs. There is a nuance to be found in municipalities. Marketing is about attracting audiences, so it uses the products best qualities to attract. Urban planning is more of a gamble and analysis. How will a municipality grow, what zones are there, do they fit (all?!) needs, etc. ''"predicting population growth, zoning, geographic mapping and analysis, analyzing park space, surveying the water supply, identifying transportation patterns, recognizing food supply demands, allocating healthcare and social services, and analyzing the impact of land use."'' The visuals that come with the planning, relate to X(width), Y(height) Z(depth) & T(time). But where do the needs go? What kind of method would showcase these needs?  Not only to critique but also (maybe even more) to reflect.


https://cdn.mobygames.com/covers/4209788-the-roberta-williams-anthology-dos-front-cover.jpg
=== <sup>''<code>What kind of infrastructure would work in ways of circulation. Getting the questionmarks around?</code>''</sup> ===
<sup>''<code>city planning as annotation / drawing out loud method?</code>''</sup>             


https://www.mobygames.com/game/2029/the-roberta-williams-anthology/
[ ] public moment  [[File:Renderplotter.jpg|thumb|pen plottered pamphplet|left]]


..''fifth,'' make the special issue somewhat like an webquilt arcade?   out of ideas, mind will close down for maintenance
== /XPUB2/PROTOTYPING/PUBLICMOMENT ==
13-11-24


_____
This presentation felt like I was presenting multiple things all at once in a sort of mess. I had some conversations and there were good points and cases. I wanted to talk with people but I felt like I 'had nothing to show'. I was showing my own research but I did not feel like this was the right way of showing things. I hadn't fully processed and reflected on the Colloquium and the tutorial with Manetta. So I had a feeling of just standing next to something which I didn't fully support. I felt less 'prepared' than others because I have not felt security and agency over the mess I was trying to sort out. I have a lot to work with but again, narrowing down is het most important part.


250224 update / looking back it was more a cool reference than a work to make, I think?


====== 06-11-24  ======
Looking back from the previous few weeks. I went from the personal accessibility to the rendering image of where I live.  I am a bit in between the hyperpersonal and the macropoetic feelings.


The feedback story of my life is I need to start narrowing down.[[File:The setup for the public moment.jpg|thumb|the setup for the public moment]]


The public moment had a positive outcome. I talked <s>too much</s> a lot and there were some nice conversations, however I felt like I needed to defend something.


The inputs and interests were analyzing and gave me some nice references. [[File:Bellebows-tiktok (bellebows4117).gif|thumb|I just recovered from my flu shit, barely digested the colloquium and feedback + tutorial I had 21-10-24. This public moment felt like I was sharing my own questionmarks with other people. As if I exposed things in a way too premature state. ]]There was one feedback that kinda just got me REALLY frustrated -----> someone asked of 'isn't that just part of living in a big city everywhere?'  and it just felt like it was a mood killer. Whilst my points were about making new city planning, marketing imagery while the things that we don't see rendered are still there.


There was also a remark, asking if I was working with the municipality.


==COUNTERMAPPING =BUGS OF MISCONDUCT==
I need(ed) to digest and reflect and the public moment was a good moment to reflect if I am clear or not. I was sharper at the colloquium.  
Walking around in the neighbourhood thinking and defining (counter)mapping I walk in this space that used to be a prison complex in the north of rotterdam, The area has changed into a hip area that flirts with truman show type of aesthetics. I have been thinking about the infrastructures and how things are not working in this city. I have many objections into city planning and I'm wildly attracted to ideas of who owns the city.


As I stroll my sunday gloom away, mending the shapes of spaces I read or hear something along the lines of Codes of Conduct, earlier today I was watching the sitcom parks and recreation, which is a based at a local government in America and the shows the bureaucracy ''sometimes.''
I have bought books, I still want to buy one more. I am also thinking about how to continue developing a method.<gallery>
File:Render pamphlet.jpg
File:Beyourselfcosmetics.jpeg
File:Renderflat1.jpeg
File:WhatsApp Image 2024-06-20 at 12.00.12 e4895242.jpg
</gallery>


I am wrestling with my ideas on what I want to do and I am doing these things justice and or the right way.
== meeting with Michael ==
The moment I reflected with Michael, I was rambling a bit in the beginning. How things were going and then looking at what I have done for the project proposal until now.  


A bubble came up in opposition to a Code of Conduct and I thought about Bugs of Misconduct.
=== Trying to get my brain a bit more structured and searching for distinction between one and the other ===


Dividing the definitions:<blockquote>BUGS:


informal: a harmful microorganism, typically a bacterium. "their ham was found to be contaminated with food bugs"
I want to make choices  


  an illness caused by a microorganism.
<big><sup>'''''what goes in the project proposal?                                        |                            what goes into the thesis outline'''''</sup></big><small>?</small>


  "he'd just recovered from a flu bug"
<small>is the proposal an outline of the method?                                |                                    do I criticize renders in the thesis?</small>


<small>Is the visual essay a project                                                        |                or is this visual essay the thesis</small>


  Similar: illness, ailment, infection, disease, disorder, sickness, affliction, malady, complaint, upset, condition, infirmity, indisposition, malaise, bacterium, germ, virus, bacillus, microorganism. microbe. lurgy
<small><nowiki>I want to use drawing as an alternative      ~~~~~~  |                      ~~~~~~~~~~                    to the hollowness of the 3D renderings and other visuals</nowiki></small>


an enthusiastic interest in something.
<small>visualize the tensions ///                            |                  Is the tension something I describe in the thesis?</small>


"they caught the sailing bug"
<small>a method as a human touch as reminder of the human complications    |      the 3d renderings that are calculated based on over simplifications</small>


Similar: obsession, enthusiasm, craze, fad, mania, rage, passion, fixation, hobby, interest, pastime  thing
<sup>how does this method look like?</sup> |                <small>Is the visual essay of the project proposal more the output for the thesis, rather than the project? Did my confusion develop here?</small>


2.
<small>Is it a pamphlet? cartoon?  |            or are those illustrations that will end up in the thesis?</small>


North American
<small>will it result into a form of countermapping and an anti-campaign?  |  Do I even have to be (de)finite about this or am I overthinking this?</small>


a small insect.
<small>SHOWING THE LACK THAT IS BINDING / CRACKS. | BUT THEN ALSO WITH WORDS</small>


"a thick green scum which crawls with bugs, centipedes, and worse"
<small>developing this method, granting myself multiple reasons and ways to start experimenting |      critique / reflection of the city, start with a tile...</small>


h
<small><nowiki>Is this a drawing ?      ~~~~              |  a first location from the smallest tile (at home) to zooming out / 3d renderings that show the big picture. | ~!!!~~ or a chapter¿</nowiki></small>


Similar:


insect. flea. mite. midge. creepy-crawly, beastie, minibeast
[ ] I need to make  


3.
[ ] I need to read 


Entomology
[ ] I need to write 


an insect of a large order distinguished by having mouthparts that are modified for piercing and sucking.
[ ] the project proposal specs / examples


4.
[ ] thesis outline specs / examples


a concealed miniature microphone, used for secret eavesdropping or recording.
[ ] continue writing the first essay and drawing the first drawing for Steve's commissioning.       
 
06-11-24 I feel like I am in a bit of a slump. There was a very nice process I was in. I have good things going on but I just feel like I am stuck for a second.


"they cleaned out the bugs and wiretaps"
== XPUB2/PROTOTYPING/F(L)OSS ==
PS -> GIMP


h
INDD -> SCRIBUS


Similar:
AI -> INKSCAPE


listening device, hidden microphone, receiver, transmitter, wire, wiretap, phone tap, tap, bugging device
PREMIERE -> OPENSHOT/OLIVE/KDENLIVE/SHOTCUT?


5.


an error in a computer program or system.
== /XPUB2 ==


"a custom program we used developed a bug"


h
Now what do I need to do


Similar: fault, error, defect, flaw, imperfection, failing, breakdown, virus, glitch gremlin,  snarl-up
<s>- get better</s>


verb
- buy / rent Rene Boer - Smooth City


verb: bug; 3rd person present: bugs; past tense: bugged; past participle: bugged; gerund or present participle: bugging
- <s>decide between buying year subscription adobe or</s> go F(L)OSS hmmmmmm


  1.
- GRS -> see page


  conceal a miniature microphone in (a room or device) in order to listen to or record someone's conversations secretly.
- make a prototype for essay, play with formats
== /GRADUATION RESEARCH SEMINAR ==


  "their offices, homes, and telephones were bugged"
* [[User:Lor.ensō/Lorenzo's Projects that May/Mayn't|PMoMMs: <progress is found here, but order was never an option>]]
* [[COMMISSIONED/ESSAY/AREA|COMMISSIONED ESSAYAREA]] [[Renderdam|Rapid Prototypes: <Renderdam> /]] [[Spiritual media psychosis|Obsessive Catalogue of Madness:Spiritual Media Psychosis]] B2BALESSIA
* [[Lor.ensō/projectproposal|Draft project proposal]]
* [[User:Lor.ensō/thesis-outline|Thesis outline]]


       record or listen to (a conversation) using a concealed microphone.
==  [[/ReaderThatMayOrMayNot(Be)Read]] ==
Currently reading


       "she fears that her conversations were bugged"
== [[/XPUB1]] ==
 
  dir.../Lor.ensō/[[User:Lor.ensō/XPUB1|XPUB1]]/  
       h
 
       Similar:
/* Here lie the tombs and ruins of my works and processes of my XPUB1 year divided by three trimesters
 
       record
XPUB1 SI22 - SI23 - SI24
 
   
tap
  */  
 
listen in on, eavesdrop on, spy on, overhear, wiretapmonitorm, phone-tap, snoop on
 
2.
 
informal
 
annoy or bother (someone).
 
"a persistent reporter was bugging me"</blockquote><blockquote>noun: '''misconduct'''
 
/ˌmɪsˈkɒndʌkt/
#1.  unacceptable or improper behaviour, especially by an employee or professional person.  "she was found guilty of professional misconduct by a disciplinary tribunal and dismissed"  h  Similar:  wrongdoing, delinquency, unlawfulness ,lawlessness ,crime ,felony,criminality,sin,sinfulness,evil,evil-doing,unprofessional behaviour,unprofessionalism,unethical behaviour,malpractice,maladministration,dereliction of duty ,negligence,breach of ethics,impropriety,immorality,abuse,malversation,misbehaviour, bad behaviour,misdeeds. misdemeanours,disorderly conductbadnessmischief
naughtiness
#rudeness
#*Hockey  a penalty assessed against a player for unsportsmanlike conduct.  plural noun: '''misconducts'''  "Smith got a game misconduct for spearing Nick Kypreos"
#2.  mismanagement, especially culpable neglect of duties.  "the general was pardoned for misconduct of the war"
''verb''
 
verb: '''misconduct'''; 3rd person present: '''misconducts'''; past tense: '''misconducted'''; past participle: '''misconducted'''; gerund or present participle: '''misconducting'''
 
/ˌmɪskənˈdʌkt/
#1.  behave in an improper manner.  "the committee reprimanded two members who were found to have misconducted themselves"
#2.  mismanage (an activity).  "there is no evidence that the premises were being misconducted"</blockquote>Thinking about the bugs of misconduct, it's a great ethical dilemma because it is, if I am correct, a bit of a contronym/auto-antonym/Janus term. OR a homonym.
 
To me, bugs of misconduct are an error in the system. The cracks that appear to be loopholes or invite to squat. It opens for alternative opportunities as a crack in the wall. The bugs go in and start to acclimatize to the space, showcasing the cracks and the errors as fundament. For what idk yet. I'm in need of looking at the readings of previous weeks and to show.
 
another of countermapping is to showcase hostile architecture, or infrastructure, maybe that is what I have been doing earlier with locating the steps from one person in a scootmobile / wheelchair to another by public transport.
 
A bug of misconduct is potentially a parasite that leeches off the host.
 
==PUBLIC TRANSPORT==
 
This was a sideproject that comes from my best inspiration: frustration <3
====Concept: Where do ya draw the line?====
1. "Public transport: From A to B via Metroline E and Tram 7."
 
A personal observation based on the limitations concerning accessibility, usability concerning healthcare, <u>public</u> transport.
 
Since XPUB is focused on making things public, I'm thinking about some stuff.
 
Public Transport, How do you make Transport Public? Or more public
 
I'm just thinking about the idea of the public service for the transport from an accessible / disability point of view. This case is quite personal but also inspirational from my critical thinking designartresearchblabla point of view.
 
So, let's say my mother wants to go to my brother. What needs to be done? For this ''method'' I'm using the google maps standard*/ **
#Go out of the house
#Unlock the scootmobile
#Uncover the scootmobile
#Put the cover inside
#move the bicycle
#position the basket and possible bags
#start scootmobile
#go to end of street
#wait for traffic lights / or if you're lucky it's green but it's always in favour of the cars.
# once you crossed the street, go to the elevator
#check in at port **
#push the button
#wait for elevator
# possibly wait for people to exit the elevator
#enter the elevator***
#wait until you are at the platform
#exit elevator to right side(need to confirm this)
#wait for the metro
#search for the good entrance without the metal poles in the middle ^
#be in metro for one stop
#reach central station
#pull back to exit metro
#go back or forward to elevator
#push button and wait for elevator / if you are lucky it'll be there already
#enter the elevator ***
#wait til you reach centraal station begane grond
#go back or forward to exit elevator
# check out at port **
# ride towards third tram platform
#enter third tram platform
#wait for tram 7 towards woudestein? (need to be confirmed)
# in the meantime, guess on what half of the platform the tram will stop
#inevitably ride or race through crowd to reach the middle / center of tram****
#enter tram in transit ^
#position yourself
#wait until you reach you reach your destination
#try to get out of the tram
#check out as well
#you can finally breathe again
#enjoy your visit
#when it is time to leave, leave*
#go back to the tram
#search for the right port on the other side of the street
#inevitably ride or race through crowd to reach the middle / center of tram****
#step / check in
#it might be possible that there is a parent and a baby carriage in the space that is also meant for wheelchair and rollator
#wait in discomfort
#person with baby carriage needs to get out, instead of going to another exit, this person insists to get out the door they came in, they lift the scootmobile and you are in even more discomfort
#you need to wait some more time
# finally you are at Rotterdam Centraal
#struggle to get out of the tram once again**
#head to the metro port
#check in and somehow also drive towards the elevator***
# push the button of the elevator
#position yourself in the metro at the place with no metal poles in the middle
#wait one stop
#get out the metro
#go to elevator
#go up
#go out
# go home
#place all the stuff back
#recover
<nowiki>*</nowiki>before you go, think about leaving at least 10-15 minutes in advance
 
<nowiki>**</nowiki> might need someone else to do it because it closes again in a certain timeframe
 
<nowiki>***</nowiki> this means the elevator works
 
<nowiki>****</nowiki> there might be a parent with child, cyclist, person in wheelchair, other person in scootmobile there
 
^ take into consideration the doors are literally timeframes so you better have someone with you to hold the door
 
Example: --------
 
The Rotterdam Electric Tram has multiple Entrances -> Ports<div style="text-align: center;">
Port asin the doors
 
Port asin checkin / outs
 
[] PORT 1
 
[] PORT 2
 
[] PORT 3
 
 
=='''''<u> <<<<< <big>(_□___□▯▯__□__▯▯_□__▯▯_□_)>>>>>></big></u>'''''==
DRIVER | BEGIN    |  MIDDLE      | END
 
| FRONT  |  CENTER  | BACK
 
[PORT1]  |    [PORT2]  |  [PORT3]
 
check      I / O        |    I / O      |        I / O


FOOTABLE |  FOOTABLE | FOOTABLE
== /RANTS THOUGHTS WORRIES AND OTHER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA'S ==


KIDABLE  | KIDABLE  | KIDABLE


| WHEELABLE |
=== '''''PMOMM GRADUATION PROTOTYPING WHAT DO I DELIVER'''''  AND WHY AM I AGAIN IN MASS CONFUSION ABOUT WHAT WHO WHERE HUH ===
 
FOR CONTEXT
 
CENTRAAL STATION TRAM STOP
 
<big>(_□___□▯▯__□__▯▯_□__▯▯_□_) / (_□___□▯▯__□__▯▯_□__▯▯_□_)</big>
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________
 
<big>(_□___□▯▯__□__▯▯_□__▯▯_□_) / (_□___□▯▯__□__▯▯_□__▯▯_□_)</big>
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________
 
<big>(_□___□▯▯__□__▯▯_□__▯▯_□_) / (_□___□▯▯__□__▯▯_□__▯▯_□_)</big>
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________
</div>
 
 
 
Words:https://codepen.io/lor_enso/pen/LYvxYbd
 
 
https://research.wdka.nl/index.php/news-activities/counter-mapping-autonomy-workshop-2-29-02-2024/
 
 
 
 
[[File:Former hover version of -door-port.gif|frameless|600x600px]]
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
===''' /PORT'''===
[[File:Mapping out the words in obsidian.png|thumb|Trying to map out words in Obsidian]]
 
 
eurotruck/american truck simulator as a reference for being in a process of sharing files -> gaming for the relaxation and accepting the absurdity of simulator but also understand the educational value a
 
as a part of the /door group (w/ Victor and Mania)
 
I was thinking about how to grasp all of the words we (both as Quilt INC and as the entire class), collected, discussed and try to understand and define in one big web/map of words, thinking about the [https://runme.org/ runme.org example] as shown in Aymerics lecture.  My thought rise to the idea of
 
 
<gallery mode="slideshow">
File:WhatsApp Image 2024-03-30 at 17.35.34 928d192fS.jpg
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</gallery>
 
==[[Quilt INC]]  / METHODOLOGY==
 
Methods remark:
==Method(ol(atry)ogy) is a way of surviving experience==
{{:Quilt INC./Method(ol(atry)ogy) is a way of surviving experience|Method(ol(atry)ogy) is a way of surviving experience}}
 
 
 
 
 
 
==REFLECTION # trimester 2 SI23==
----
The second trimester was nice to start. With the winter break behind me, I could really just start up again without the constant feeling of running a treadmill version of imagining Sisyphus happy.  During this trimester it was quite interesting to dive deeper in the ideas of servers and datacenters.
 
My focus came back and I attended more events, I still felt a bit alienated but felt the xpubbery of things going into my bloodstream as I finally put up my little desk next to the door.
 
If I'd be very critical to myself, I would say that I would have liked to have more energy next to the things happenings during the XPUB days. Life was just exhausting but it got better on a week per week basis. I done the tasks I needed to do but at the same time my body and mind just claimed for me to touch grass, go outside, do other things because the per week load was sometimes a bit too much to grasp. In the end it streamlined to some more coherent (as I used my /port to but all the meanings and projects in 1 page with the perspective of the SI23 and also with the wonderful pre-tag.
 
Not to be smashing my work to the ground I also am very happy that the group project with Mania and Victor was this nice. Our forces combined made this amazing metaphysical paper-to-web-and-back-again work
 
I wanted to dive into Python, ImageMagick and in the end I was doing something completely: going back to my HTML / CSS experience and instead of working with the things I already  (but ofcourse implementing then) I started just playing from the perspective of Seamfulness. I had a talk once with a fellow Unity-maker and we shared memes based on the fact that it does not matter if the code isn´t working properly and filled with my glitches and error, as long as it does what it needs to do. And that's how I approached the /port. I wanted to make it this raw interpretation of the terminal but then making it more welcoming and a space where information is exchanged with the limited access and the visitor is being presented with not only as huuuuge glossary but also context and the input to continue to the other project. It was my intent to show the seams but not literally linking all the things together. Because my first plan was to use the window (based on Alice's window mapping) to put all the words in the window frame as the 'port' to the space, using cables and jacks and such to 'make the connection'. Also for the sense of making something with for me experimental printing on transparent paper, but as I reflected on this idea. I changed from the window frame to the screen, since the visitor might not even know that there were connections and that might have given it an accessible touch. 
 
My research was based on the understandings of methodology in general as discussed in and about Susan Leigh Star's piece.
The ideas of using more ways to look at things finally struck to me and I felt inspired by frustration that I as a carer/family member/former user of social transportation.  Both the A to B-U turning and also the trevvel story are very interesting to me because the amount of interactions, requests, errors and bureaucratic features from the both social code to the actual code of systems seem very intriguing to dive deeper in for a Thesis and Graduation Project. Accessibility and Disability from the privatized perspective from both bureaucratic as well as technologically governed institutions. While I am writing this, I'm also thinking "can't we do something lighter or different?" and I like to listen to that train of thought. An idea of publishing this would be to show and relate to making these difficult and unneededly overcomplicated made processes and making these more tangible and understandable.  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
As an entertainment element related to the issue, I started watching Silicon Valley again. A series that gets an extra layer with the readings we have done.
 
 
 
 
Mania and I were sharing our findings on the street.
 
<gallery>
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File:Sprouts .jpg
File:Perfect garden .jpg
</gallery>


We intended to make a paper / glass / transparent type of essay with her and my imagery* and looking at these 'infranatural' 


'''''I go to bed early, wake up early, I go to seminars, I try to read but it is just the movement again of'''''
<code>E X E C U T I V E  D Y S F U N C T I O N</code>


*I only included my images in this part.
beep boop brain not participating .../ am not functioning. Can't seem to focus, find a point to start but just crashing a bit. [Grief] It has already been almost a year and my head is just not there. I just want to be healthily productive but that is impossible if I force start myself into doing this. But I als W A N T to be productive and AaAaAaA [/Grief]  {crash report: I need to calm down}




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Thesepages will be updated
visit [[User:Lor.ensō/si22|SPECIAL ISSUE TWENTY TWO PERSONAL CONSTRUCTION SITE]]


[[User:Lor.ensō/si23|si23]]
<!--- Thesepages will be updated
visit [[User:Lor.ensō/si22|SPECIAL ISSUE TWENTY TWO PERSONAL CONSTRUCTION SITE]] / [[User:Lor.ensō/si23|si23]] --->

Latest revision as of 17:50, 14 November 2024

/XPUB2/PROTOTYPING

13-11-24 I just had my talk with Michael yesterday and I feel like I have stuff everywhere. From which I have to grab the best parts and divide them into what I want put in the thesis (outline) and the project (proposal).




  • ~!!!! IMPORTANTSELFNOTEPOEM
  • [X] ONE THING AFTER THE OTHER.
  • [X] THERE ISSTILL TIME.
  • [X] YOU WANT TO HAVE EVERYTHING DONE BY YESTERYEAR AND YOU PUT A BIG PRESSURE ON YOU
  • [X] DONT BREATHEN'T
  • [X] DO THE THINGS BY THINGS AND THEN YOU SHARPEN
  • [X] DOUBT ONLY IS GOOD WHEN CRITICAL AND PREPARED, DOUBT IS NOT GOOD WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING DOUBTABLE
  • [X] WRITE IT OFF, WALK IT OFF, WORK IT OFF AND PROCEED.
  • [X] EVERYBODY IS CONFUSED, IT IS ALL FINE AND THE HECTICITY IS STARTING BUT ALSO PART OF IT.
  • ~~!!!!!!!!



/XPUB2/PROTOTYPING/COLLOQUIUM/

https://pad.xpub.nl/p/prototyping-colloquium-lorenzo  

REFLECTING:

It is now 3,5 weeks ago since the colloquium. There was an interesting method I (subconsciously) started to develop. Asking the questions

"Search for examples of city planning / marketing / maintenance of the city/village/township where you are from*" 
collect img / promises / memories 					                     
then....... 
ask yourself / eachother "how does -location- relate to you as the inhabitant*?"
aaand thennn  
ask yourself / eachother "how do you relate to -location-?"

*free interpretation ofcourse, whatever feels the most comfortable
This part was the most exciting to share because the reactions were interesting:

Bernadette & Rosa https://pad.xpub.nl/p/prototyping-colloquium-lorenzo-2

> Rotterdam and Riesa

> they looked at merchandise and marketing

Marketing is produced outside of the marketed city. Rotterdam has popular merchandise

Riesa uses German mythological creatures and story to profile its city.

  1. "No strong feelings against city marketing. Marketing is not known to address a city's issues. Promoting a city doesn't hide its issues."
  2. City Marketing is a very subjective perspective on a city, optimistic so it sells better ofcourse.

Anita & Riviera https://pad.xpub.nl/p/lorenzo-colloquium-anita-and-riviera

> Anita looked at the city of Treviso, Italy on its own and its digital entrance

Anita: there seems to be restricted access to the website unless you currently live there, but you can also log in with social media. The information behind this barrier is none. There is a live stream of one of the main squares of the city you can watch

I think it is quite hard for me to be critical and analyse Treviso now, as I have not lived there for 5 years and am lacking a lot of information of living there now. I am a tourist when I go back and so much has changed since I moved away. I remember there being quite a lack of cultural activities and specifically activities for teenagers that did not involve drinking or just hanging out in the 'loggia dei cavalieri' or 'buranelli'

> Riviera focussed more on city planning and criteria via the official channels

Context: the planning process in the UK is longwinded and complex. There are a lot of slow-moving parts so it takes a long time to get anything done. Camden is a region in the North of London.

There's a planning search tool (Currently in beta) where applications can be searched for according to the following criteria:

Application Number / Applicant Name / Agent Name / Site Address / Street Name / Proposal Key Word / Ward / Application Type / Development Type / Status

Co-ordinates of planning in Camden Council I would take account of listed properties, use cases, comments from the public, objections, proposals, opinions, agreements, appeals, communities, councils, parishes, areas of outstanding natural beauty, the greenbelt, the brownbelt, people who protest "Not in my back yard!" and others who want to build absolutely nothing anywhere near anybody. And, of course, planning applicants who want planning permission.

Wang, Alessia & Maria https://pad.xpub.nl/p/wam

> Maria looked at the pavements, ever changing town square per government change in Athens, Greece

Touristic areas is treated differently (maintenance wise)

Floods in Athens because of problematic city planning

Proposed changes for livability:

  1.  Create specific paths around the city for pedestrians, elderly people and people with disabilities or strollers and add a layer on (google) maps with these paths.

   2. Allow pets on public transport

> Alessia looked at Venice, how tourism is, again, more important than maintenance

It's a sinking city, melancholic city.

The population is melancholic too.

It's not a city for anyone with any kind of disability, accesibility is not something the politics care about, the preservation of the city aesthetic is the most important thing.

High water, Syrens system for the high water, soundscape of the city, Demographic index of Venice population Depopulation, Disneyfication of the city ---> Venice is not disneyland, on social media as an archive of city memories and complaints. Venice is built on logs.

> Wang looked at ChongQing, analyzing its heights and depths, considering it is a mountain area city.

ChongQing is a city in the East-South part of China, it is a city build on a mountain, some say ChongQing is a 8D city because all the roads, buildings streets are overlapping, sometimes when you get off from the 1st floor but you're actually at the 20st floor of another building.

It is a very interesting city for travel and food(where the hot pot comes from), but a nightmare for drivers and uber eats.

Michel, Mania & Zuzu https://pad.xpub.nl/p/michel-mania-zuzu

> Mania looked at the promises of a better developed square in Warsaw

For so many years we have been waiting in promise for better development of the square in the very center of Warsaw. I remember growing up with this promise that museum of modern art will be build there. The first thing you see after leaving the central station is a huge parking lot. An exhibition hall was built on the Vistula River - intended to serve as a temporary museum.  And even though we finally have a museum in the center (it opens in October), the museum on the Vistula River remains - cause it became an absolutely fantastic spot.

In addition, Warsaw is full of advertisements that scream non-stop! There are also plenty of street markets and kitsch. Previously, I was annoyed by the lack of control and any restrictions regarding advertising and the onslaught of information in public spaces, but now, living in a country where the streets seem so perfect, I miss the kitsch present in my hometown.


If I could change something in my Home town I would definitely add more bike paths. I see its already improving but still I dont feel very safe cycling there.  That would be the first thing on my list. Once I was hit by a car while cycling in a pouring rain . But I have to admit that the rental bike Veturilo works great.


> Michel wrote about food in Taipei, Taiwan but also the mobility and overcrowdedness

Din Tai Fung based in Taipei, Taiwan. It is known internationally for its paper-thin wrapped xiaolongbao with 18 folds.


I lived at the bottom of a steep hill. Every time I wanted to get to the center it took forever and I had to carry my bike up the hill. There is a better, less steep driveway that goes a little further, but there is no bicycle path and the road is quite narrow and uncomfortable among cars. However, going down a steep heel is great and I loved coming home along that route, accelerating to wild speed and screaming while going down.


Foe my perspectives, it would be nicer if there’s less population in Taipei. Now the estimated population is nearly 3 million(2,766,330) and the size is 271.80 km2 which is the similar size to Amsterdam(243.65 km2), but the population is only around 1 million (1,182,000). I've always struggle to live in a crowed city like this. Also there are too many motorcycles and cars in the city so the government doesn’t focus on the rights of pedestrians and bikers. I always feel unsafe when I cycling or walking on the streets in Taipei, perhaps it is one of the reasons for me in order to have a better lifestyles and living quality in other places.


> Zuzu described Shanghai, its temples and the urban development(or decay) and the tensions that could establish between the inhabitants

Jing'an Temple in Shanghai, situated in a highly coveted and expensive area of the city center, has preserved a Buddhist site amidst the urban sprawl. This has given rise to many urban legends, such as claims related to feng shui, with some believing that the temple's presence boosts the prosperity of the surrounding commercial district.

Strangely enough, in stark contrast, there's a saying that Shanghai has the most vibrant Halloween atmosphere in the world.

There is a growing need to establish boundaries between people, especially in public spaces. Perhaps this is something that can be cultivated, though I am not entirely sure how. People seem to clash so easily, quick to anger. The last time I stayed in Shanghai, I was there for barely a week, and I felt an overwhelming urge to escape. Maybe it was the summer heat—it magnified my senses, and I became more irritable, more sensitive to everything around me.

At the same time, I long for it to lessen the political overtones—the large, slogan-like banners on the streets, the uniformity of shop signs. There’s a sense of rigidity in it all, a subtle pressure that lingers, making the everyday feel more controlled, less free.

Thijs & Victor https://pad.xpub.nl/p/oslo&duiven

> Victor viewed the buildings, international appeal, (re)branding

A city with many faces?

barcode – early 2000 financial district modern late capitalist vibe

this area is where a lot of new fancy architecture is being displayed, as it is right by the water it is kind of the face outwards of Oslo, or an attempt at this. this area is a bit touristy and not really a place most Oslo people hang out.

prides itself in being a "environment-capital" – whatever that means..

to appeal to international business or something

has pretty good public transport, but it has been a bit mis-managed, for example they redid the tram tracks like twice in 5 years because of new trams that were to heavy when for the tracks when they first renovated.

this is a bit typical I feel, that they undertake ambitious projects that always go over time and over budget

poster making tool released in relation to overhaul of Oslo visual identity: which embraces flat illustration and very simplified geometric visuals.

the rebranding caused a controversy regarding some lettering on a sports stadium

slogan from the city herladic

Unanimiter et constanter – «Enig og standhaftig». something like unified and resilient

old city with stone-age settlements

growing up in the suburbs of Oslo playing outside with immidiate vicinity to the forest was defining.

has a strong sense of east/west division marked by the "Akers-elva" a river that was the epicenter of industry in the 1800's. Now adays most of the areas that used to be considered "rough" in the city pre 2000 have been heavily gentrified and is now the hippest trendiest most neo-liberal areas in particular "Grünerløkka"

> Thijs dove into the municipality of Duiven, its portraits, planning, project renders, identity, mapping, weapon(shield?)

Mix of old town (for a Dutch town this size) and 'quiet suburb from Arnhem', situated in an area with lots of rivers, and remnants of the Roman Limes (region is also called Liemers)

Sketch from Duiven from 1742

Municipality Duiven consists of 3 towns, Duiven, Loo and Groessen

In zilver 3 duiven van azuur, de eerste bedekt door een vrijkwartier van keel, beladen met een karbonkel van goud en over alles heen een hartschild van zilver

In the last 10 years, the 'town center' has seen an overhaul, now called 'Vitaal Centrum' (funny as most people living in the center are elderly, and there are a lot of 'vitality centers' around. Part of these plans include 45 'sociale huurwoningen' for people ages 55+. Some humble bouwplannen near De Ploen 'Projectfasen' only have 1 phase

Notes I got from Manetta:

((Expressions of gratitude))

Obsession/research/question

postcard utopianism
"best scenario"
city marketing

"where you come from": how does this city profile itself?
"what do you want to change": which axes do you want to add?

athens: infrastructural tours
oslo: visual identity; we just copy paste a typeface everywhere, not adopt it to a specific place

- "collective jam session for research" nice
- pretty open session... intentionally?
- from the municipality pov... from the specific needs pov...
    - from which perspective do you speak?
        issue of time gaps, not living there anymore, .. interestingly brings up the specificness of perspective
        tourists (alessia), youth (anita), disabilities (maria), city marketing (bernadette), pets (maria), city design (victor/zuzu), history (mania), biggest/tallest records (mania), advertisements (mania), city planning (riviera)
    -

- unpack!
    - video municipality.. time to observe together?
    - quote Jara Rocha + Femke Snelting
    - xyzt axes, what do they do, where are they used?

How will collected material be used? Why are we doing this? Work towards concrete outputs?


Personal perspective works!
Moment of sharing after first part would work

---

XYZT+? as a method
method to critique + reflect (!)
building infrastructure for this method as a way to circulate it
Question Mark Eyes

TIMESTAMPS AND ANALYSIS Notes: 10-11: Groups are made, people are invested, I think people are going for it and are enjoying themselves. There were some questions but not changing in context or so.People were really focussing and so I added a few minutes.
Notes 11.15 - 12.15: There were some confusions about how to apply the second part. There were some thinking eyes as if I were in a forest and owls are all looking at me from the dark hahaha. Overall, people were sharing anecdotes and arguments
around 11:45 I went for a walk around to see how things are going :))

REFLECTION OF THIS SESSION:

i

The first part of this colloquium was by far the most successful. Because people were invested in going in to groups, even though it took some seconds to get into the zone of diving into their places of origin. I intended to make this a collective jam sessions for research, I was a bit too deep with my head into Rotterdam and I wanted to see how other people would go into their own places.

ii

The second part of the colloquium was something I was invested in at the time but not sure how I would adapt this. Because I aiming towards 3D renders specifically. It would have been better to review this in the second part.

!?

Moments of sharing after first part would have worked better.

The ?? I had myself and also were ?? in the room:

  • Personal perspectives, stories and observation give so much more context and understanding about the places we are in, rather than the ideas that are being shared from municipalities and commercial outputs. There is a nuance to be found in municipalities. Marketing is about attracting audiences, so it uses the products best qualities to attract. Urban planning is more of a gamble and analysis. How will a municipality grow, what zones are there, do they fit (all?!) needs, etc. "predicting population growth, zoning, geographic mapping and analysis, analyzing park space, surveying the water supply, identifying transportation patterns, recognizing food supply demands, allocating healthcare and social services, and analyzing the impact of land use." The visuals that come with the planning, relate to X(width), Y(height) Z(depth) & T(time). But where do the needs go? What kind of method would showcase these needs? Not only to critique but also (maybe even more) to reflect.

What kind of infrastructure would work in ways of circulation. Getting the questionmarks around?

city planning as annotation / drawing out loud method?

[ ] public moment

pen plottered pamphplet

/XPUB2/PROTOTYPING/PUBLICMOMENT

13-11-24

This presentation felt like I was presenting multiple things all at once in a sort of mess. I had some conversations and there were good points and cases. I wanted to talk with people but I felt like I 'had nothing to show'. I was showing my own research but I did not feel like this was the right way of showing things. I hadn't fully processed and reflected on the Colloquium and the tutorial with Manetta. So I had a feeling of just standing next to something which I didn't fully support. I felt less 'prepared' than others because I have not felt security and agency over the mess I was trying to sort out. I have a lot to work with but again, narrowing down is het most important part.


06-11-24

Looking back from the previous few weeks. I went from the personal accessibility to the rendering image of where I live. I am a bit in between the hyperpersonal and the macropoetic feelings.

The feedback story of my life is I need to start narrowing down.

the setup for the public moment

The public moment had a positive outcome. I talked too much a lot and there were some nice conversations, however I felt like I needed to defend something.

The inputs and interests were analyzing and gave me some nice references.

I just recovered from my flu shit, barely digested the colloquium and feedback + tutorial I had 21-10-24. This public moment felt like I was sharing my own questionmarks with other people. As if I exposed things in a way too premature state.

There was one feedback that kinda just got me REALLY frustrated -----> someone asked of 'isn't that just part of living in a big city everywhere?' and it just felt like it was a mood killer. Whilst my points were about making new city planning, marketing imagery while the things that we don't see rendered are still there.

There was also a remark, asking if I was working with the municipality.

I need(ed) to digest and reflect and the public moment was a good moment to reflect if I am clear or not. I was sharper at the colloquium.

I have bought books, I still want to buy one more. I am also thinking about how to continue developing a method.

meeting with Michael

The moment I reflected with Michael, I was rambling a bit in the beginning. How things were going and then looking at what I have done for the project proposal until now.

Trying to get my brain a bit more structured and searching for distinction between one and the other

I want to make choices

what goes in the project proposal? | what goes into the thesis outline?

is the proposal an outline of the method? | do I criticize renders in the thesis?

Is the visual essay a project | or is this visual essay the thesis

I want to use drawing as an alternative ~~~~~~ | ~~~~~~~~~~ to the hollowness of the 3D renderings and other visuals

visualize the tensions /// | Is the tension something I describe in the thesis?

a method as a human touch as reminder of the human complications | the 3d renderings that are calculated based on over simplifications

how does this method look like? | Is the visual essay of the project proposal more the output for the thesis, rather than the project? Did my confusion develop here?

Is it a pamphlet? cartoon? | or are those illustrations that will end up in the thesis?

will it result into a form of countermapping and an anti-campaign? | Do I even have to be (de)finite about this or am I overthinking this?

SHOWING THE LACK THAT IS BINDING / CRACKS. | BUT THEN ALSO WITH WORDS

developing this method, granting myself multiple reasons and ways to start experimenting | critique / reflection of the city, start with a tile...

Is this a drawing ? ~~~~ | a first location from the smallest tile (at home) to zooming out / 3d renderings that show the big picture. | ~!!!~~ or a chapter¿


[ ] I need to make

[ ] I need to read

[ ] I need to write

[ ] the project proposal specs / examples

[ ] thesis outline specs / examples

[ ] continue writing the first essay and drawing the first drawing for Steve's commissioning.

06-11-24 I feel like I am in a bit of a slump. There was a very nice process I was in. I have good things going on but I just feel like I am stuck for a second.


XPUB2/PROTOTYPING/F(L)OSS

PS -> GIMP

INDD -> SCRIBUS

AI -> INKSCAPE

PREMIERE -> OPENSHOT/OLIVE/KDENLIVE/SHOTCUT?


/XPUB2

Now what do I need to do

- get better

- buy / rent Rene Boer - Smooth City

- decide between buying year subscription adobe or go F(L)OSS hmmmmmm

- GRS -> see page

- make a prototype for essay, play with formats

/GRADUATION RESEARCH SEMINAR

/ReaderThatMayOrMayNot(Be)Read

Currently reading

/XPUB1

dir.../Lor.ensō/XPUB1/ 


/* Here lie the tombs and ruins of my works and processes of my XPUB1 year divided by three trimesters

XPUB1 SI22 - SI23 - SI24 

*/ 

/RANTS THOUGHTS WORRIES AND OTHER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA'S

PMOMM GRADUATION PROTOTYPING WHAT DO I DELIVER AND WHY AM I AGAIN IN MASS CONFUSION ABOUT WHAT WHO WHERE HUH

I go to bed early, wake up early, I go to seminars, I try to read but it is just the movement again of

E X E C U T I V E  D Y S F U N C T I O N 
beep boop brain not participating .../ am not functioning. Can't seem to focus, find a point to start but just crashing a bit. [Grief] It has already been almost a year and my head is just not there. I just want to be healthily productive but that is impossible if I force start myself into doing this. But I als W A N T to be productive and AaAaAaA [/Grief]  {crash report: I need to calm down}