Chae selfportrait

Hello, my name is Chaeyoung(채영).
You can also call me Chae. Like, Che Guevera. I'm from Seoul, South Korea.

• I get excited quite easily.

- I get excited when cutting purple cabbages, carrots or cucumber
- I get excited when tree leaves shine under the crispy sunlight. Japanese ppl even have a word for this specific sunlight. It is called 'Komorebi(木漏れ日)'
- I get excited about spider webs after rain
- I get excited when I encounter strange but cute objects(a fork that gives you pinky, a cute cushion, dead from your sitting)
- etc.

Being excited by pretty much everything can be a problem.
This is because when I'm at 95% energy level and if the counterpart does not feel the same, I find that this person gets overwhelmed sometimes.
(Also, I can be stubbornly stuck in my own head which is not helpful.)

After the first trimester, I found out that I prefer to have some sort of structure or efficiency when 1)things need to be done and 2)more than 4 ppl. I really value each project, every experience and I want to dive deeper and finish it. I want to make good artwork. I still don't know what this means but I always want to challenge myself and do it properly. (This shows the perfectionist side of me, which I want to work on.)

• I am easily affected by others feelings.
  

For example, when someone seems like she/he/they is/are not feeling happy about something, I pick up that energy quite easily and get affected by it. Trying to figure out how to make this person feel more comfortable or shift the atmosphere in a more welcoming/cosy way. In some cases, if I'm the one who is making someone feel uncomfortable, I think about that a lot in my head, play that situation over and over again in my head, and fall into this negative self-doubting area. I care about others. But sometimes I care too much about how ppl will see me. This scares me. That ppl might think about me that I'm not good enough or I'm a selfish ego-centric person, full of shit haha..

• I guess that is why I am into #cute aesthetics.
  

The cute aesthetic is, in my opinion, an international language, and an aesthetic that is very democratic, an aesthetic that makes things a bit easy for me. I apply and yield the power of cuteness a lot in my life and I want to use that power more carefully and use it in a more alternative way.

When in a group of more than 5 people, I need:
I updated this one after the first trimester.
some time to reflect on and digest on my own. I value mutual understanding and the beauty of collaboration.
some efficiency an welcoming/ safe environment so that ppl can speak up and engaged in their own pace.

To help ensure my needs are met, I will try to go through the pad again, have a small chat about the previous meeting with classmates, and speak up when I need some time to catch up on the discussion.

And I would appreciate it if others in the group would be willing to annotate the conversation on the pad, or if I can make a record of the conversation so that I can listen and make sure I understand correctly and reflect it.