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| '''Notes on progression so far:'''
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| I have recently identified a problem and a contradiction in my work: Using a method like infrared (scientific objective method) to portray the unconscious. But I do think that this struggle / potential impossibility could make an interesting research question.
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| What does this unconscious mean to me?
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| The first thing that comes up are memories and experiences that make up the mind, which the brain organises. I am interested in this in a scientific sense but at the same time also from the perspective of empathy; it is a concern that is with me all the time.
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| I could call it the part of our existence that is not physical. In the past people would have used the word spiritual. This is also connected to atomistic philosophy which states the interconnectedness of people and things.
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| I keep contradicting myself in my research but I am okay with constructing sort of an thesis followed by an antithesis.
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| Primary emotions that we are not aware of mainly in relation to fear is also an important motivation for my interest in the unconscious.
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| Whether I am dissolving or destructing images or capturing them in infrared, there is an underlying theme of decay, vulnerability, exposure and destruction in relation to the process and the subject. When an image becomes actually red like in my digital infrared images, there is a fleshy way of exposing the environment, as if the skin has been exposed, (the image is the body). While experimenting directly with the image of a face or body means you do something to it, this makes the connection less static.
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| Infrared is of course in its history closely tied to war, migration, security and violence. It is a way to detect the stranger and enemy.
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| Ironically I was at first-hand attracted to infrared because I felt it would bring me closer to the subject (people). Because I would be able to look at them in a different exposed state. When I did the infrared photography I could not even see my subject through the viewfinder because of the dark filter. This was the case with both the analogue and digital camera. So a lot of the documentation is connected to chance. This is a very different experience to the traditional approach of finding 'the enemy' with infrared techniques.
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| Artists like Francis Bacon and Richard Mosse are equally important to me even if they might seem quite different in their approach; both speak of violence and decay. During the [[Marieke / Image Analysis|Image Analysis]] people saw the underlying violence in my photo. This has happened before in the past with my work and I don’t always notice it myself.
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| The emotion of fear might be deeply engrained in my work and this might be why I am so attracted to infrared techniques. It is a feeling that is prominent, so people notice these motives of damage and fear. This can make the viewer uncomfortable and create a push-pull effect. They look away and look back again.
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| Because of my choice to work with infrared techniques I have to deal quite a lot with physics and science. Before I only considered the poetic parts of photography but I learned to appreciate this other part now.
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