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== | == Interview with Donna Metzlar == | ||
Part 1: 16-11-2019 | Part 1: 16-11-2019 | ||
<br> | <br> | ||
Format: In person meeting | Format: In person meeting, conversation. | ||
<br><br> | <br><br> | ||
Donna Metzlar is involved in many social and political activities. Officially trained as a nurse, she became fascinated with computers and started working as a system administrator. | Donna Metzlar is involved in many social and political activities. Officially trained as a nurse, she became fascinated with computers and started working as a system administrator. She is part of the Genderchangers networks and has organised a big number of workshops, events, and projects, such as the Eclectic Tech Carnival and the Syster Server. | ||
<br> | <br> | ||
Line 11: | Line 11: | ||
Transcription: Work in progress<br><br><br> | Transcription: Work in progress<br><br><br> | ||
== Anonymous Testimonials: Gender exclusions in Tech == | == Anonymous Testimonials: Gender exclusions in Tech-based environments == | ||
[[File:etc-posts1.png|270px|frameless|right]] | |||
<br> | <br> | ||
In October 2019, the 17th Eclectic Tech Carnival took place in Athens. During the event, I organised, together with Angeliki Diakrousi, a memory-sharing session called "xperiences"; a gathering of women and trans, non-binary, intersex persons, active in the tech world. We discussed our experiences as workers in the tech industry and in software development, as contributors in free and open-source movements, as participants in tech meetings, as initiators of alternative inclusive hack communities, as technology researchers in academia and as users of everyday technology. | In October 2019, the 17th Eclectic Tech Carnival took place in Athens. During the event, I organised, together with Angeliki Diakrousi, a memory-sharing session called "xperiences"; a gathering of women and trans, non-binary, intersex persons, active in the tech world. We discussed our experiences as workers in the tech industry and in software development, as contributors in free and open-source movements, as participants in tech meetings, as initiators of alternative inclusive hack communities, as technology researchers in academia and as users of everyday technology. | ||
The following texts are the notes we took, documenting our shared stories, memories and anecdotes, related to forms of gender exclusions we have experienced in tech-based environments. | The following texts are the notes we took, documenting our shared stories, memories and anecdotes, related to forms of gender exclusions we have experienced in tech-based environments. <br><br> | ||
---- | ---- | ||
<br> | |||
Nogartse | Nogartse | ||
Amateur software developer working in IT company | Amateur software developer working in an IT company. | ||
In the company we are only 2 women, the rest 18 are male people. | |||
Exclusions because of language, amateurism. | |||
Whatsapp group: they send images/memes for fun | |||
that makes me feel uncomfortable | that makes me feel uncomfortable | ||
vintage porn as gifs | vintage porn as gifs | ||
memes mostly with girls in bikini | memes mostly with girls in bikini | ||
" | "How is possible this to be their working space" | ||
Nogartse | Nogartse doesn't reply/talk with them in the chat. | ||
"How can I express as a person in this group?" | "How can I express as a person in this group?" | ||
Line 34: | Line 36: | ||
Enial | Enial | ||
Hackerspace | Hackerspace... | ||
I never managed to participate. | |||
Always the assistant | Always the assistant. | ||
In a project, I had to document their work, | |||
but without being explained | but without being explained. | ||
Can you help me?? Why? | Can you help me?? Why? | ||
Not a collaborative process | Not a collaborative process. | ||
They were never engaging me. | |||
We can collaborate with artists but we | |||
are not artists, | are not artists, | ||
so they wanted me to be a mediator with artist | so they wanted me to be a mediator with the artist. | ||
Difficult. The role of the assistant and mediator | Difficult. The role of the assistant and mediator | ||
I was perceived as a woman. | |||
Oh wow, you know how to do this! | |||
Culture of nerds. | |||
I was alone and I wanted to do the project with them | |||
Porcupine | Porcupine | ||
I'm a software developer | I'm a software developer. | ||
When I finish my master's degree and went to have a job. | |||
I was looking for a job | I was looking for a job. | ||
There was an event | There was an event | ||
"startup speed dating" | "startup speed dating". | ||
All the startups explain first what they do and what they look for | |||
I thought this was a professional event | I thought this was a professional event | ||
there was one company that | there was one company that shows a slide of a woman in | ||
underwear and they said: | |||
we're looking for ppl that knows | we're looking for ppl that knows PHP and looks like this. | ||
"If you look like this: please come talk to us" | "If you look like this: please come talk to us". | ||
I considered to talk with them but I didn't want to spend | |||
my time with that and rather spend time actually for a job | my time with that and rather spend time actually for a job | ||
I still remember how I felt when I saw that | I still remember how I felt when I saw that | ||
it was in | it was in Switzerland at a famous university. | ||
Line 76: | Line 78: | ||
I was not treated not equally | I was not treated not equally | ||
But I never integrated | But I never integrated | ||
The only woman in eight people. | The only woman in eight people. They went double and | ||
the | the percentage was the same | ||
2 women and 14 men? | 2 women and 14 men? | ||
Because I was an immigrant, younger, woman, and led | Because I was an immigrant, younger, woman, and led | ||
a very different life. It | a very different life. It didn't really fit. | ||
As a user... the last 15 years I use unisex usernames & avatars, | As a user... the last 15 years I use unisex usernames & avatars, | ||
so in a forum-thread-social media, they assume that I am a guy | so in a forum-thread-social media, they assume that I am a guy | ||
When they realize I am a woman, | When they realize I am a woman, | ||
they change the way | they change the way they speak to me. | ||
speaking more with a tone down, but still aggressively | speaking more with a tone down, but still aggressively | ||
& more condescending/patronizing | & more condescending/patronizing | ||
Line 116: | Line 118: | ||
we were not paid | we were not paid | ||
Workshops about weapons in the night for women, intersex | Workshops about weapons in the night for women, intersex | ||
We | We didn't want to do it like a mix, we didn't want to have men | ||
university said that we were discriminating them | the university said that we were discriminating them | ||
transexual could also not be there - because... | transexual could also not be there - because... | ||
it is there own fight - it is another fight. | it is there own fight - it is another fight. | ||
Line 124: | Line 126: | ||
The woman said transexual is another fight | The woman said transexual is another fight | ||
we wanted to make these workshops for the students, | we wanted to make these workshops for the students, | ||
but we | but we didn't want the university to say that | ||
"they" | "they" were doing these workshops | ||
In the end the workshop wasn't official (?), | In the end, the workshop wasn't official (?), | ||
so | so we weren't paid for the workshop, only for the materials. | ||
Line 135: | Line 137: | ||
I always feel excluded | I always feel excluded | ||
Even in a bar, if they have a technical conversation | Even in a bar, if they have a technical conversation | ||
they | they don't listen. It's like I'm not there | ||
In jobs, they want to "hire" a woman, | In jobs, they want to "hire" a woman, | ||
but the things I was proposing... | but the things I was proposing... | ||
they were saying --yea yea-- but they | they were saying --yea yea-- but they didn't do anything | ||
there was no onboarding, | there was no onboarding, | ||
so it was hard to get into the workflows | so it was hard to get into the workflows | ||
Line 144: | Line 146: | ||
I had a stalker in a physical political space - | I had a stalker in a physical political space - | ||
we were talking about technology | we were talking about technology | ||
I told him I am going | I told him I am going to another continent | ||
when I arrived there, I didn't feel welcome later I found out, | when I arrived there, I didn't feel welcome later I found out, | ||
the stalker had gone there | the stalker had gone there and told some stories about me | ||
I feel they don't understand what they are doing wrong | I feel they don't understand what they are doing wrong | ||
I was | I was trying to "seem" more masculine. | ||
Line 158: | Line 160: | ||
I try to find "other languages | I try to find "other languages | ||
I think is a very serious problem | I think is a very serious problem | ||
even if you | even if you haven't experienced it yourself | ||
I testimony, how computer science men can treat others | I testimony, how computer science men can treat others | ||
male "block" | male "block" | ||
They measure | They measure gender. | ||
Masculisation | Masculisation | ||
All | All the life I try to be more masculine, cause I try to avoid | ||
problems and abuse | problems and abuse | ||
What was considered feminine, was getting me in trouble | What was considered feminine, was getting me in trouble | ||
It's not just one story. | |||
The suffering is real | The suffering is real | ||
It affects a lot, it can generate trauma. You need to get | It affects a lot, it can generate trauma. You need to get | ||
imaginative so that you | imaginative so that you don't try on dying | ||
It makes me so mad | It makes me so mad | ||
They | They don't value good work. | ||
Line 182: | Line 184: | ||
we have several stories from several projects, | we have several stories from several projects, | ||
as feminists there | as feminists there | ||
In our group we are 2 women and 1 non-binary. | In our group, we are 2 women and 1 non-binary. | ||
The rest are cis male | The rest are cis male | ||
I have a problem with a colleague who acts like a boss | I have a problem with a colleague who acts like a boss | ||
Sounds not serious when you say it, but when you live it, | Sounds not serious when you say it, but when you live it, | ||
it's violent | |||
He has two ways of treating me, depending | He has two ways of treating me, depending | ||
if I dress feminine or masculine | if I dress feminine or masculine | ||
He treats men and women differently | He treats men and women differently | ||
either he wants to fuck me, or he wants to beat me, | either he wants to fuck me, or he wants to beat me, | ||
either as a buddy | either as a buddy or belittle me | ||
Anyway he treats me as a child, as I am stupid | Anyway he treats me as a child, as I am stupid | ||
When I tell this story, my friends tell me | When I tell this story, my friends tell me | ||
"you have to understand where he comes from" | "you have to understand where he comes from" | ||
and | and I do, everyone has trauma, right? | ||
He had an issue for us to come here | He had an issue for us to come here | ||
One day before we are leaving he ("the boss") | One day before we are leaving he ("the boss") | ||
Line 201: | Line 203: | ||
why we are going there and doing this (coming here) | why we are going there and doing this (coming here) | ||
I take a breath and reduce myself, saying sorry, explaining | I take a breath and reduce myself, saying sorry, explaining | ||
I'm trying to explain him what we do | I'm trying to explain to him what we do | ||
he maybe feels he is not included here | he maybe feels he is not included here | ||
what he is doing looks like | what he is doing looks like | ||
Line 208: | Line 210: | ||
without telling us | without telling us | ||
we have a problem because we have different principles | we have a problem because we have different principles | ||
We have different views about the principles | We have different views about the principles<br> | ||
---Have you thought to sue this person?--- | ---Have you thought to sue this person? Harassment...---<br> | ||
He says I have thoughts. I say what kind of thoughts? | |||
He answers no, no nothing.<br> | |||
---It's manipulation---<br> | |||
-- | It's too vague to fit under any legal definition, | ||
anyway I don't think legal action should be taken | anyway I don't think legal action should be taken | ||
The project was horizontal but | The project was horizontal but | ||
Line 238: | Line 239: | ||
Conference about free software | Conference about free software | ||
he clearly | he clearly didn't read my article | ||
mansplaining my article to me -You are young!. | mansplaining my article to me -You are young!. | ||
he said | he said | ||
Line 249: | Line 250: | ||
A small fact about a conference | A small fact about a conference | ||
3 years ago at software conference | 3 years ago at a software conference | ||
you have a party, you have to wait in a big queue | you have a party, you have to wait in a big queue | ||
a man was asking technical questions because the bar | a man was asking technical questions because of the bar | ||
was only open to conference visitors, You have to be selected | was only open to conference visitors, You have to be selected | ||
When I arrived: -"are you the wife (!) of that person?" | When I arrived: -"are you the wife (!) of that person?" | ||
Line 260: | Line 261: | ||
I did my talk, and when it finished, in an informal meeting | I did my talk, and when it finished, in an informal meeting | ||
also with people from the hack lab, | also with people from the hack lab, | ||
speakers asked | speakers asked other speakers | ||
Did you fall in love with her? | Did you fall in love with her? | ||
The question was "Are you here | The question was "Are you here because you fell in love? "... | ||
Why do you ask this? | Why do you ask this? | ||
I have nothing to answer | I have nothing to answer at that moment. The other guy | ||
answered really fast | answered really fast | ||
I was not prepared. | I was not prepared. | ||
Line 270: | Line 271: | ||
kiki | kiki | ||
We should have a manual, how to answer | We should have a manual, how to answer | ||
colleague - software development | colleague - software development | ||
they way he was commenting was terrible | they way he was commenting was terrible | ||
offensive on | offensive on Github | ||
I asked : | I asked: can you be more constructive in your comments | ||
He says: English is not my native language, | He says: English is not my native language, | ||
I don't know how to speak to ladies... | I don't know how to speak to ladies... | ||
Discrimination can come also from other women | |||
Native | Native English speakers lookup | ||
also discrimination to the global south. | also discrimination to the global south.<br><br><br> | ||
== Upcoming Interviews == | |||
* Mara Karagianni |
Latest revision as of 10:56, 28 November 2019
Interview with Donna Metzlar
Part 1: 16-11-2019
Format: In person meeting, conversation.
Donna Metzlar is involved in many social and political activities. Officially trained as a nurse, she became fascinated with computers and started working as a system administrator. She is part of the Genderchangers networks and has organised a big number of workshops, events, and projects, such as the Eclectic Tech Carnival and the Syster Server.
Pad with questions
Transcription: Work in progress
Anonymous Testimonials: Gender exclusions in Tech-based environments
In October 2019, the 17th Eclectic Tech Carnival took place in Athens. During the event, I organised, together with Angeliki Diakrousi, a memory-sharing session called "xperiences"; a gathering of women and trans, non-binary, intersex persons, active in the tech world. We discussed our experiences as workers in the tech industry and in software development, as contributors in free and open-source movements, as participants in tech meetings, as initiators of alternative inclusive hack communities, as technology researchers in academia and as users of everyday technology.
The following texts are the notes we took, documenting our shared stories, memories and anecdotes, related to forms of gender exclusions we have experienced in tech-based environments.
Nogartse
Amateur software developer working in an IT company. In the company we are only 2 women, the rest 18 are male people. Exclusions because of language, amateurism. Whatsapp group: they send images/memes for fun that makes me feel uncomfortable vintage porn as gifs memes mostly with girls in bikini "How is possible this to be their working space" Nogartse doesn't reply/talk with them in the chat. "How can I express as a person in this group?"
Enial
Hackerspace... I never managed to participate. Always the assistant. In a project, I had to document their work, but without being explained. Can you help me?? Why? Not a collaborative process. They were never engaging me. We can collaborate with artists but we are not artists, so they wanted me to be a mediator with the artist. Difficult. The role of the assistant and mediator I was perceived as a woman. Oh wow, you know how to do this! Culture of nerds. I was alone and I wanted to do the project with them
Porcupine
I'm a software developer. When I finish my master's degree and went to have a job. I was looking for a job. There was an event "startup speed dating". All the startups explain first what they do and what they look for I thought this was a professional event there was one company that shows a slide of a woman in underwear and they said: we're looking for ppl that knows PHP and looks like this. "If you look like this: please come talk to us". I considered to talk with them but I didn't want to spend my time with that and rather spend time actually for a job I still remember how I felt when I saw that it was in Switzerland at a famous university.
Czas
As a worker, I worked as a developer in France I was not treated not equally But I never integrated The only woman in eight people. They went double and the percentage was the same 2 women and 14 men? Because I was an immigrant, younger, woman, and led a very different life. It didn't really fit.
As a user... the last 15 years I use unisex usernames & avatars, so in a forum-thread-social media, they assume that I am a guy When they realize I am a woman, they change the way they speak to me. speaking more with a tone down, but still aggressively & more condescending/patronizing He pm-me while publicly fighting to try to maybe meet? He was also a nationalist. Worst kind of person. I would never want to meet with a person like that.
Anarcoma
One of my first experiences When I started to live in a university in a project about gender and technology, free software I made workshops with different feminists I was an immigrant Being underpaid sign with other people for all the projects They started to make normal contracts to guys, interns got paid for my job they made a little documentary about the project and I was nowhere visible they made me disappear all the feminist group that we were working with all these guys were working with gender and technology.
Gud
Organising a feminist workshop for university we were not paid Workshops about weapons in the night for women, intersex We didn't want to do it like a mix, we didn't want to have men the university said that we were discriminating them transexual could also not be there - because... it is there own fight - it is another fight. The university wanted to say that they "are doing the feminist workshops" The woman said transexual is another fight we wanted to make these workshops for the students, but we didn't want the university to say that "they" were doing these workshops In the end, the workshop wasn't official (?), so we weren't paid for the workshop, only for the materials.
Bob
In every environment, hackerspace, job I always feel excluded Even in a bar, if they have a technical conversation they don't listen. It's like I'm not there In jobs, they want to "hire" a woman, but the things I was proposing... they were saying --yea yea-- but they didn't do anything there was no onboarding, so it was hard to get into the workflows zero communication, zero documentation to help me develop I had a stalker in a physical political space - we were talking about technology I told him I am going to another continent when I arrived there, I didn't feel welcome later I found out, the stalker had gone there and told some stories about me I feel they don't understand what they are doing wrong I was trying to "seem" more masculine.
open discussion
I started to be less kind, authoritative in my speech [to "seem" more masculine and be taken seriously] -I try to find bridges, other languages with a common ground I try to find "other languages I think is a very serious problem even if you haven't experienced it yourself I testimony, how computer science men can treat others male "block" They measure gender. Masculisation All the life I try to be more masculine, cause I try to avoid problems and abuse What was considered feminine, was getting me in trouble It's not just one story. The suffering is real It affects a lot, it can generate trauma. You need to get imaginative so that you don't try on dying It makes me so mad They don't value good work.
ttengam
I am a testimony of 2 people that talked already.
I am a computer scientist
I'm fine with all pronouns
and work with electronic circuits
we have several stories from several projects,
as feminists there
In our group, we are 2 women and 1 non-binary.
The rest are cis male
I have a problem with a colleague who acts like a boss
Sounds not serious when you say it, but when you live it,
it's violent
He has two ways of treating me, depending
if I dress feminine or masculine
He treats men and women differently
either he wants to fuck me, or he wants to beat me,
either as a buddy or belittle me
Anyway he treats me as a child, as I am stupid
When I tell this story, my friends tell me
"you have to understand where he comes from"
and I do, everyone has trauma, right?
He had an issue for us to come here
One day before we are leaving he ("the boss")
wrote a long email asking
why we are going there and doing this (coming here)
I take a breath and reduce myself, saying sorry, explaining
I'm trying to explain to him what we do
he maybe feels he is not included here
what he is doing looks like
the initial stage of an abusive relationship
He published in the newspaper about the laboratory,
without telling us
we have a problem because we have different principles
We have different views about the principles
---Have you thought to sue this person? Harassment...---
He says I have thoughts. I say what kind of thoughts?
He answers no, no nothing.
---It's manipulation---
It's too vague to fit under any legal definition,
anyway I don't think legal action should be taken
The project was horizontal but
now this guy takes all the responsibility.
shara
Mainly male cis people men's playing he stole 15 min of my life we lose so much energy he wanted to brag about his old app I was about to build a period tracking app and this guy listened to my talk and he told me what I should say he was trying to give me "his advice" about how to make the best app Makes me angry.
glas
Conference about free software he clearly didn't read my article mansplaining my article to me -You are young!. he said somebody else - another organiser- asked sorry for the other guy and check if I am ok.
dog
A small fact about a conference 3 years ago at a software conference you have a party, you have to wait in a big queue a man was asking technical questions because of the bar was only open to conference visitors, You have to be selected When I arrived: -"are you the wife (!) of that person?" and I said I am a developer and the guy felt ashamed
During another conference, I invited a guy, conference in a university I did my talk, and when it finished, in an informal meeting also with people from the hack lab, speakers asked other speakers Did you fall in love with her? The question was "Are you here because you fell in love? "... Why do you ask this? I have nothing to answer at that moment. The other guy answered really fast I was not prepared.
kiki
We should have a manual, how to answer
colleague - software development
they way he was commenting was terrible
offensive on Github
I asked: can you be more constructive in your comments
He says: English is not my native language,
I don't know how to speak to ladies...
Discrimination can come also from other women
Native English speakers lookup
also discrimination to the global south.
Upcoming Interviews
- Mara Karagianni