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Starting point.
'''BRB '''<br/>
 
{{vimeo|255255078}}
The ideas:
ww: benzoterug
1.
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BRB is a poetic observation of online sex webcams where the absence of sex is the focus of the work. In text we follow the online community chat, users talking amongst other users.  
The construction of a memory.
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For a long time I’ve been intrigued by the world of sex webcam’s. On the one hand it’s quite a personal space where (a big part of) the girls are in control of their own action and environment. A lot of them identify themselves as feminists. On the other hand they are objectified and (mostly) men ask them to do stuff for tokens (cash money bitches). Like in other work I made regarding pornography, I work from a curiousness what remains or reveals itself if you take away the pornographic content and put the imagery in another context. The empty rooms become a poetic reflection of what is not there.  
A short movie, existing of one scene de-constructed, moulded, re-figured, re-shot, into a new reality. It doesn’t show the reality of an event that happened but the layered and plasticity of the memory. The possibility of it to be anything you want it to be.
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The images are collected form the website chaturbate.com. The recordings are made when the girls are gone, just after they left or before they come back. The chat that occurs when the girls are gone sometimes create funny situations where others have a darker context.
This memory starts with the memory of a memory. My mom telling a story about something I did when I was young. I couldn’t remember it at first but slowly, giving it more thought and words, a clear scene started to form in my head. These different versions of the constructed memory are the starting point for this project.
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Old research: [[old eye eye eye]]<br/>
Using my own memory I try to dissect the construction of this memory. What do our thoughts do to memory? In this work I reveal what is left when subtracting these different forms of memory.  
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[[User:Lola]]
Notes: Make it into fiction, exaggerate. It could end bad. Like false childhood memory’s of sexual assault. It starts of with the threat from a child and ends in the mother holding a real knife. All of these version inter-cut between each-other. It doesn’t have to relate to anything ‘real’, could be staged in a studio. Maybe even better. In the end the video is situated in the mind, not in the real. It could be shot in different styles, different scores, different lenses. It needs to bed cut through each-other, but also have consistent sequences. Maybe an voiceover? Maybe not. Does it start with the telling of the story?
Could also  be in 3d? Or partly?
Different stages? I. my mom’s memory II. The first construction III. Second construction.
 
 
--> This first version could also be in a Voiceover. With search engine’s images and construction of digital images. 3D.
 
 
 
How can I ever know the truth? What was real?
 
 
2.
The deconstruction of a ‘memory’
 
My childhood memories are not very well. My memory in general is not something to be proud of. I embrace and at the same am alarmed by the possibility of storing our memory in a digital way.  Last year I digitized some videotapes of my youth. Hours of material containing a lot of self-filmed stuff from when I was 7-10, tons of holiday home video and also some earlier taped material of when I was around 4 years. I don’t remember anything from these tapes. In my memory my childhood was way less idyllic then portrayed in these video's. I don't recognize myself. 

In this work I want to de-construct these digital images. What meaning do they have? What does it mean to de-contextualize these images. How can I create new settings and maybe replace the memory's, or creating new ones? How can I take them away from the digital? Or is the digital the only realm they belong to, are they maybe not even mine anymore? The image doesn't capture the reality, every image is just a render.
 
Notes: To dissolve old fragments and digital memories into an homogeneous world, representing the emotional of the digital. Reframe , reanalyse, digitally deconstruct.  
 
Maybe in combination with digital predictions and indications of identity. -> applying snapchat filters or other modern tools that we use now for creating a self-image.
 
Images; Grids, Green screen, the digital spaces, mirrors.  
 
3.
The future memory
My phone knows more about me then I know about myself. It not only hold 'memories'; photo's, conversations, notes, emails, appointments, basically my digital personality. It also predicts what I need, or want, or what I should want or need. It predicts the words  (or emoji) I need to express myself based on algorithms and previous conversations. These predictions are based on my digital persona, my other-self. Things I might hide from the tactile, audible 'reality'. My other-self is one with less morals, less boundaries. It is also one that is constantly captured and logged. It is a mnemonic device per definition. In this way my other-self becomes truth, truth becomes reality, just because they are recorded as such.  
 
In this work I will explore the production and meaning of my other-self. With Quicktype producing future diary entries. These stories will be visualised through a combination of found footage, computer voice-over, screen recordings and green screen studio shots.
 
What is the digital representation of my other-self?

Latest revision as of 14:50, 19 March 2018

BRB

http://vimeo.com/255255078 ww: benzoterug
BRB is a poetic observation of online sex webcams where the absence of sex is the focus of the work. In text we follow the online community chat, users talking amongst other users.
For a long time I’ve been intrigued by the world of sex webcam’s. On the one hand it’s quite a personal space where (a big part of) the girls are in control of their own action and environment. A lot of them identify themselves as feminists. On the other hand they are objectified and (mostly) men ask them to do stuff for tokens (cash money bitches). Like in other work I made regarding pornography, I work from a curiousness what remains or reveals itself if you take away the pornographic content and put the imagery in another context. The empty rooms become a poetic reflection of what is not there.
The images are collected form the website chaturbate.com. The recordings are made when the girls are gone, just after they left or before they come back. The chat that occurs when the girls are gone sometimes create funny situations where others have a darker context.
Old research: old eye eye eye

User:Lola