View source for User talk:Andre Castro/2/thesis3 Thesis v.3 in draft

Hi Andre,
Was making notes on the theses as I read them for tomorrow, and thought I
may as well mail them to you!

Cheers,
=Eleanor 14.05=

==Introduction==
* State early on that you're focussing on 419s (not penis enlargements
etc), take a bit of time to give a definition of 'spam' so we know what
your subject is specifically
* Slow down intro of D&G's minor lit theory
* Start instead w/ unpacking the abstract: what do you mean by spam as
'threat' etc?
* Explain/defend why spam is a threat to advertising - you assume this but
don't clarify until section 5.

==Minor lit==
* Nice link from discussion of D&G's minor lit theory to how it could
apply to Spam: "The decision to become minor, and the consequences that
result from such choice, is not confined to literature."

* This should go in the introduction not in section 4: "Spam is synonym to
unsolicited emails, sent to large number of addresses, with the underlying
intention of selling products such as
Rolex replicas or Viagra pills, or even extort money from its recipients."

* Nice use of specific examples of spam techniques and example spam emails
to illustrate the points relating to minor lit, and well explained how
they fit in with the minor lit theory (eg ""In this example we are given a
personal and close, but also fictitious perspective on the heavily
mediatized event of
Osama bin Laden assassination, over which we only had a birds’-eyes view
provided by the mass-media. The fact that
these two perspectives are superimposed, as are fiction and reality, and
the intimate voice through which millions of
readers are addressed, brings spam into an unstable and undefined
territory, which I see as a significant contribution
for its deterritorialization.)"

* 4.3 (spam's political dimension): you make several claims about the
motivations/views of spammers in the 1st paragraph - make sure all of
these are eitherclearly referenced, or make it more clear that they are
speculation!

* IBB = 419 section: signpost more clearly how this anecdotal section
relates to the argument you're developing (politics of illusion); I got a
bit lost in the specificity of the example.

-Section 5
* First sentence could be unpacked more; summarize what you've developed
in section 4. ("Based on the outlined features of a minor language on to
the language of spam, I believe to be possible to affirm that
spam constitutes a minor language.") << summarize clearly why.

* "One is seen legitimate and has carte blanche to take-over our visual
and aural
surrounding, at every occasion and in any context, whereas spam, just as
the handle indicates is seen as distasteful, unsolicited, and deceptive
junk"  << By whom? Many ppl regard ads in this distasteful way too. Maybe
specify who you're talking about - I get the impression it's the people
who have the power to organize physical/digital space (eg, email
hosts/city planners) rather than individuals (who I suspect use adblockers
and spam filters in similar ways these days...)

* "Such definition seems applicable not be only to ads, but also to spam"
<< the preceeding quote isn't strictly a definition but a description. A
working /definition/ of advertising at the start of section 5 would be
helpful, perhaps putting the 1st sentence from 5.1 at the very beginning
of section 5.

* Sections 5.1-2 rely implicitly on a (Marxist?) analysis of the
'production of desire' necessary for consumer capitalism ("With the end of
World War I and rates of production rising so did the need for
consumption"); maybe chuck in a couple of references to back this
assumption up?

* 5.2: Ads inducing self-criticism linked to spam emails for weight-loss
pills: introducing these types of spam emails jarrs with the previous
focus on 419s; it seems spurious to introduce them now just to back up
your argument. How does guilt relate to 419s?

* 5.3: convincing links made between the ways that spam and advertising
adapt to their context

* 5.4 - tantalizing analogy made with "noise vs signal" - could you
develop this idea more? Ie, how do we classify noise vs signal.

* 5.5 this sentence is a great summary and needs to go ealier, in the
introduction, to explain what you mean by spam as threat: "If spam would
grow to become as prominent, accepted, and popular as advertising
it would bring advertising into a marginal territorility, similar to the
one inhabited by spam. If this were to happen
consumers would begin to look at ads with the same kind distrust and
obliviousness with which they look at spam."

* "Given this, isn’t it then expected that in a future incarnation
of advertising the advertised product will entirely disappear, and
costumers will just buy a dream brought by the ad?
And isn’t that what the fraud spam like the ”419” is doing, but in a more
honest a perceptible way?" Nicely articulated conclusion in this last
paragraph.

* 5.6 - "I all seriousness I would like to know if this development can
possibly happen." - explore this question in 5.6 and move the Spam Awards
proposal to a separate section.

* question of future of spam-as-advertising: I think you need to look at
examples of viral marketing; this process is already happening and is the
obvious glue with which to connect the two topics of spam & advertising in
the thesis.