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== Thesis Outline ==
Thesis Outline  


==Intro==
=== Question: ===
IF WE PLAY DOES THAT MEAN ITS NOT REAL(ITY) ?
==== Description of two previous video works ====


Steve suggests
THIS IS AND THAT IS AND A BIT OF THIS AND A LOT OF THAT (2018)
Is a 10 minutes video in which you see a series of moving portraits of Luca. In every portrait, Luca looks totally different. The video is guided by a narration that speaks an repetitive test always starting with the words: “THIS IS ME…..” The person you see in the image always may look different in every scene but the narrator tells you it's always the same person. The video plays with the versatile aspects of beliefs concerning 'identity', a research into the intriguing differences, the moldability of 'being' and in surge of a kind of essence. We search for authenticity. Yet we want to be accepted, to converse, to belong to one another in risk of losing that very authenticity. The complex game that plays with the urge for acceptance, recognition and the need for authenticity is central to this work.


Make description of your 2 previous video works (use the text in the project proposal as the basis for this) and outline your intentions for the new piece. [1500 total] After these descriptions explain to the viewer what you want the thesis to do. [500]
THIS IS THEM (2020)
Is a video in which you see Branda and Hilda playing in a room. They play different characters and scenes. Every scene is introduced by the narrator, always starting with the words; “THIS IS THEM…” Branda and Hilda long for a big life worth living but what does that mean a big life? Who influenced them to believe what is worthy? Branda and Hilda have such a grand idea of what life should be like that they are scared to go outside and live beyond their imagination. So they stay and try to create a vibrant life right there in that room. The question that this work raises is if staying in your room and creating words with your imagination is less of a real life compared to going outside into the world full of people where you can not control all that is happening.  


total for intro 2000 words


sections: chapters
==== Intention for a new piece ====


1) solo (I (me-mine) mode of address)
Something that fascinates me is how we as humans seek to connect with others and therefore ourselves - what we will do to experience connection and what kind of connection we allow. I think we often try to be "something" so we can belong to a certain group or movement in order to experience contact. This is how we create our story and our identity …
In my work, the central focus is on people and their search for identity. Who are we? Where do we belong? How malleable is our identity? Why do we want confirmation from others? I try to show that people never know or possess one identity. Our identity consists of many layers and different "characters" that we discover and alternate in a playful way, in order to create our own story.
I am intrigued by group dynamics: which role/identity someone takes within a group, but also that groups create their identity by opposing other people and groups. People are often looking for confirmation, but this search may lead to alienation, isolation and the feeling of "not being alive".
These elements (identity and group dynamics) are in line with my fascination for people who constantly present themselves to the outside world. How do we want other people to see us? How do we want to see ourselves? I do not find this self-conscious urge for presentation to be exclusively negative: I think that the human being is a playful being at its core and that the different ways of presenting yourself to the outside world are in line with our urge to play. By self-presentation, people can playfully create an identity and reality with which he / she can approach and avoid the world. I believe playing is both a flight and a search for genuine contact with ourselves and the other. With the making of a new video called THIS IS US I want to further investigate how a small group of people surge for how they are individually and as one.


2) duet (we [us -they- their's] mode of address)


3) quartet (we+ [us -they- their's] mode of address)


THIS IS US  (2021)
In THIS IS US we see a group of three people in five different scenes. Every scene shows how the group wants to be identified as a whole. “ I belong therefore I am ”. The style of the video is characterized by the four performers, wearing distinct coherent costumes in a minimal scenographic setting. THIS IS US has a non linear dramaturgie, and can be seen as a collage of moments.
In this film I'm applying the same restrictions to investigate playing but this time going further by questioning how identity is constructed within a group context. I believe this work can build on the previous works, and has an opportunity to show how people change their identity for the sake of belonging to the other. What role/identity does someone take within a group, and how fast can this role change? This work can also make a new step in showing how groups create their identity by opposing other people and groups. Next to that I wish to make THIS IS US to further discover a (for me) form of dramaturgy. That means I want to look for a dramaturgy that offers me the ideal combination of abstract images and a narrative form. The video works that I have made so far are formalistic and visual, and I have a longing to add a narrative layer to it. I am fascinated by narrative structures that are non-linear and are not based on the direct action of a character, but on his or her psychological inner world. After all, the complicated inner world of man is not linear, but fragmented and contradictory. I want to deepen this by investigating the narrative structures of Roy Anderson and diving into the work of Federico Fellini. In the case of Anderson, because his story structure is characterized by a fragmentary approach and Fellini because he masterfully captured both reality and fantasy in his film language. In this way I would like to investigate the following question: in what way (technically and substantively) do Fellini's absurdist scenes enter into a dialogue with the realistic scenes? This can help me with my own video language, as I want to alternate realism and absurdism without the works losing their sense of unity. With the making of THIS IS US, I wish to develop a narrative structure that combines the concrete with artistic freedom, accessibility with innovation and intelligence with emotion. Because how do you create a story that is as clear as possible, while creating a lot of artistic freedom on a visual level? How do you ensure that the viewer does not experience an "anything goes" feeling? That the artistry of the video actually reinforces rather than hinders the story? Where do the suspension of disbelief and artistic wonder meet? I now imagine THIS IS US to have a dramaturgy in which tableaux vivants show the inner emotional world of the characters, in combination with realistic situations. In that sense, the video will play with the dividing line between realism and fantasy, the real world and the playing world, and between story in language and story in images.


=== Question: ===
IF WE PLAY DOES THAT MEAN ITS NOT REAL(ITY) ?




the quartet = four parts (chapters) examining 1, 2 and 3


if I am one I can be want; if I am two I am in relation....


==== Timeline ====
DEC
THIS IS
THIS IS US
The intention of new work THIS IS US
What do I what the thesis to do


JAN
1) solo (I (me-mine) mode of address)
2) duet (we [us -they- their's] mode of address)
3) quartet (we+ [us -they- their's] mode of address)


==== Timeline ====
NOV
Intro
What is playing
If we play does that mean it's not reality?
Playing to belong 
DEC,JAN
THIS IS US


FEB
FEB
Line 48: Line 50:
APRIL
APRIL
DEADLINE
DEADLINE
==== Containers ====
Intro
What is playing
If we play does that mean it's not reality?
Playing to belong 
[1500  words]
THIS IS US
[6000  words]
= 7500
==== Bibliography ====
In the name of identity violence and the need to belong (Amin Maalouf)
Homo Ludens (Johan Huizinga)
What Artist wear (Charlie Porter)
I Remember (Joe Brainard)
Exactitudes (Ari Versluis and stylist Ellie Uyttenbroek)
==== Intro ====
When I was young I spent most of my time playing in my room. It was my world, I created myself and it was very peaceful. I played many different characters and they all felt real. One day my niece told me that this playing wouldn't always stay but that it would gradually disappear. I believed her but I just couldn't understand why? The feeling of playing gave me so much joy, it made me discover many different parts of myself and I felt very much a life by doing so. But she was right, I became older and for some reason playing in my room didn't exist anymore. My consciousness became too present, I started thinking it was weird to be ‘pretending’….maybe we call this “growing up”?  It was around this time I started theater class. I very much enjoyed it and I made my future plans to become an actress. The next stage was the theater academie. Once I arrived there I started wondering what this playing really was, and why it made me feel so alive. Maybe acting was a grown up version of playing in my room? The simulaire thing to playing in my room and playing on stage was the sensation of letting go of the beliefs around how I am and being different versions gave me a feeling of really being there. It may sound a bit vague, but playing gave me a strong feeling of really being present even though we might categorize it as pretending.
==== What is playing? ====
There are many definitions of every word. What definition of playing do I mean
...
==== If we play does that mean it's not reality? ====
==== Playing to belong ====
Something that fascinates me is how we as humans seek to connect with others and therefore ourselves - what we will do to experience connection and what kind of connection we allow. I think we often try to be "something" so we can belong to a certain group or movement in order to experience contact. This is how we create our story and our identity …
In my work, the central focus is on people and their search for identity. Who are we? Where do we belong? How malleable is our identity? Why do we want confirmation from others? I try to show that people never know or possess one identity (as Amin Maalouf argues in On Identity). Our identity consists of many layers and different "characters" that we discover and alternate in a playful way, in order to create our own story.
I am intrigued by group dynamics: which role/identity someone takes within a group, but also that groups create their identity by opposing other people and groups. People are often looking for confirmation, but this search may lead to alienation, isolation and the feeling of "not being alive".
These elements (identity and group dynamics) are in line with my fascination for people who constantly present themselves to the outside world. How do we want other people to see us? How do we want to see ourselves? I do not find this self-conscious urge for presentation to be exclusively negative: I think that the human being is a playful being at its core and that the different ways of presenting yourself to the outside world are in line with our urge to play. By self-presentation, people can playfully create an identity and reality with which he / she can approach and avoid the world. I believe playing is both a flight and a search for genuine contact with ourselves and the other.
==== THIS IS US ====
This is us
This is us
Us is a group of body’s
Us existentes thought having these bodys
Because how is us without a body?
A nobody?
Exactly us needs a body to be anybody.
This us is liking the body
Moving within that skin
Having a sense of pain within this skin
Feeling free within
Standing still
This is us standing still
Standing and looking
This is us looking at a dead bird
You can almost not see it once was a bird
It is totally spliced…
But you can still see this birth one had beautiful wings
To fly with
Yeah to fly with
Can us fly?
Mmm physically you mean?
Yeah
I'm not sure
This is us
Us at the dinner table
Us forgetting
Us knows many versions of us
One of us is partly paralised
One of us knows how the world is going to end but can not tell us
One of us  has very shiny hair
One of us has strong nails
One of us knows how to look at dead animals without feeling disgusted
One of us gets high on smelling its own stinky feet after a long walk in the park
One of us knows the alphabet the best
Us goes to the gym
Us goes to the park
Us reads food menus to relax
Us like the part after sex
Us never liked sex
Us doesnt know sex
Us knows how it feels to be looked at
Us likes when people cry when something is beautiful
Us will let you know when you're being a dick
Or a pussy
Or something undisibible
That us getting better in lissing
This us wondering if us will be kind to us
Them us
Those us
Usssssing around
Us
Where does us come from?
Us posses many things
Us has stuff
Ooooh so many stuff
A nice swedish sofa
Us possesis many colors
Us can be
blue
Shiny pink
Soft ice White
Strong Black
Creamy Beige
Fresh Yellow
Smelly Green
Soft Orange
Intense Red
Us never know just one color
Us changes constantly
Any moment and voila something new
Us don't notice it it self
Nooo us often thinks its one color
Us is gooooood in thinking
And because us is good in it
Us tents to do it a lot
But it also makes us forget about all the other things us can do
Like feeling
This is us feeling terribly sorry for what us said in the train to that stranger that just wanted to have a small conversation
This makes us feel happy because the sun is shining, us doesn't want to admit that the weather has a big influence on how us feels.
Us
Us loves to talk about us
Us loves to wonder about us
Us doesn't know how us is 
but us wonders and surges for how it can be
Even do us is always looking for a definition of us
Us will never possess one
Us is free to be all of us
Us is in costand surge of defining us
Us knows many definitions of us but has never come to possess just one definition
So us keeps on surging for THE definition
This is us talking
Us is good in talking
Us talks a lot
About
About what us did or is about to do
Us talks about how it has lots of friends and has difficulty finding time for all of them
Us talks about what its good at
Us finds it hard to talk about what it's not good at
Us takes things personal
And when us does
Its finds talking about whats us just took personal difficult to talk about
Maybe when us feels personally attract it doesn't talk but it screams
Oeeehh screaming
Jes maybe us can scream really loud
Us wonders what us needs to not feel attract
Us often blames the other
The other doesn't understand
The other is a problem
The other made it difficult to feel good
how is the other?
Us knows how us is but us does not know what us means
Us can be with four people
But us can also be all people
Us people destroying the world
Are we?
Ohhh lets not go into that topic
Why not?
Because this play is only going to be 10 minutes
How do you know
Im making it
Right oke right
But how is the maker of the video?
Right...
?
Right…???!!
I mean us is in the play so all of us made this play
So where talking about auteursrecht right now
Yeah like is it only you how decides how us is
No we all decide how us can be
Us can be all
Yeah but that's too abstract like
We could make a play of just 1 minute hi dear viewer this is us
Us is all
Pfff very pretentious 
We totally lost the scene
You're right let's go back to the script
This is us at gym class
Us doesn't notice
Us trying to play
Us not knowing the rules
This is us trying to understand the other
This is us giving up
This is us showing something precious 
This should be us
This could be us
Us is something soft
Something kind
Something unnest
Us at the gallery
Us walked towards a big orange circle on the floor
The gide stops and tells the group about the work
Sooo yeah here we are at one of my favorite works, in this work the artist is talking about how a color can refer to certain emotions and in this one it's about freedom
Us knowing how to save the world
Us
Us know how its feels to be left alone after...
Us is a theater group
Us moving
Us playing
Us praying
One of us is polite and knows how to come into a room
by presenting it self, one other of us, the one with the pink shirt on the right standing crossed legged
For some reason feels the need to translate her introduction;
L hello you
A hallo jij
L we or me
A wij of mij
L they call me she
A ze noemen me zij
L my sister calls me sissy
A mijn zus noemt me zusje
L have a brother calls me sis
A heb een broer noemt me zus
L or maybe lady,
A of misschien dame
L A young lady.
A een jonge dame
L the delivery guy calls me a little chickie.
A the delivery guy calls you a little chickie
L my mother calls me young girl.
A Mijn moeder noemt me klein meisje
L I have a friend, she calls me baby
A Ik heb een vriend, ze noemt me baby
L boys should call me like that
A jongens zouden me zo moeten noemen
L call me there baby
L call me there baby
L but my mother calls me baby as well
A maar men moeder noemt me ook baby
L only when were in Italy.
A alleen als we in Italie zijn
L when I’m no good she calls me darling
L little darling
L little darling
A I call me, “me” whatever that may be or become
L I don’t believe in the word being,
A why?
L I like poetic words
A -Being is very poetic.
L No , not at all, being is an idea.
A -being is a verb
Present continuous
I am being
you are being
he/she/it is being
we are being
you are being
they are being
Present perfect
I have been
you have been
he/she/it has been
we have been
you have been
they have been
Future
I will be
you will be
he/she/it will be
we will be
you will be
they will be
Future perfect
I will have been…….
This is us knowing all of us want to hear something new something different
Lately i have been thinking
do we  know why God created the world the way he did? I mean so complicated,
Because i’ve been thinking about it, and it just get more and more puzzled
if there is a divine plan it sure doesn’t look very divine, or planlike. it looks kinda like a mess.
that’s just how i feel. like i don’t know anything, it’s really scary
A I know what u mean I don’t even know the smallest things like the name of the prime minister, I don’t know why the sky is blue?
L: I don’t know what blue is,
A: I don’t know why i don’t know
L I don’t know what my dad does at work
A I don’t know how many different types of insects there are , can’t even remember if a spider has 6 or 8 legs.
L I don’t know the difference between good art and bad art. I have no clue what a hostile takeover is, nor why junk bonds are junky, I mean why would anybody want them if they’re worthless? it doesn’t make any sense.
A I don’t know nothing about politics, I don’t know why carbs are bad for you, i don’t know how to spell carbon monoxide nor the meaning. I don’t know what the recipe for a good apple crumble is.
L I don’t know how to play the piano, I don’t know how to speak french, I don’t know how to make love, I do know how to make a scrambled egg , I know I like glitter, I know I like money, I know I like to party, I know I like to cry, I know I like to be seen.
A I know how stubborn i can be, I know I’m a vegetarian, i know I’m feminine , I know I’m a daughter, I know I’m short I know I’m technically not the smartest person, I know I can smile
I know I want to be successful
L own a lot of books
A read them
L books about
A the world
L society
A books
L about
A about
L about people
A about me
L I want to read a book about me
A write it
L write it with my
A secrets
L my deepest fears
A I want people to know me
L like Nietzsche
A like Christina
L Aguillera
A and
L make movies
A Direct them
L play them
A show them
L I want to make movies about love
A about
L Good
A stuff
L you see
A I see
L you see we need to have
A  a purpose
L  a desire
A a fulfilling
L dream
sometimes i wonder if i’m really named …., and that freaks me out, because if i am not, then who am i?  and if i don’t have a real name what am i?
A: Maybe i don’t exist and this is some kind of a cruel joke My family is playing on me but  I don’t know if there capable of such a thing,
L: i think there all faking it, particularly our parents, our social betters, people in positions of authority.
A: even in the middle of the night, when we are all asleep.  I had a dream last night
L a dream
A I dreamed I had a baby
L a baby
A the mystery of babies.
L the mystery of babies.
A of having babies
L the mystery of a baby
A of having
L of wanting
A of wanting to have
L a baby
A the mystery of wanting to have a baby
L a tiny
A dependent
L a very tiny
A very dependent
L Iddy biddy
A widdoo widdoo
L baby.
A- the mystery
L of wanting to have one
A of wanting to own one
L of wanting to have one’s own
A baby.
L I want to have a baby
A why?
L I want to hold t in my arms
A here hold mine.
L I want to have one, one baby
A here have this one. This extra one
L No, I want to have my own.
A why?
L To be like me.
A To look like you.
L Yes, yes, I want a baby.
A To look like you
L Yes, yes, I want to look
A at that baby
L and see
A yourself
L Yes, and my mother
A Father.
L Yes, yes Yes I want my baby to be
A Your history
L Oooh, my history yes
A your history and
L Yes my history and
A Your legacy
L Yes, my legacy, my history and my legacy
A Okay, ho dear
L whatever you want  Here’s your baby
A My baby
L He’s going to grow up
A Oh, not too fast I hope
L to be an artist
A: Oh my dear
L: you wish for so many things…
A  And you really don’t get any of them, do you?
L: because the world has a wish of it’s own…
A: all you may do, really, is stand by, in a kind of horror, until the world is finished and you can collect whatever remains.
L: It must be awful to believe that.
A: Luca, you revise and revise and revise the thing you want… and what are you left with?
L: the other things you want, the trick is wanting a lot of things.
A:  What if, maybe, i only think i’m Adina and that in fact i’m Luca and you’re Adina and that somehow we got it all mixed up, tragically.
L what happend?
A i don’t know All I know is I want to go home take off this uniform and leave the show
there will be a thousand performances like this you wouldn’t remember.
L: You think we will be useless and forgotten if we do nothing. if we just lay here?
A: i don’t know, all i know is we will not
L: what?
A: we will not just lay here.
L: i see
A: your looking?
L: i’m looking
A: at what?
L: you.
A: do i fit the description
L: i think you do.
Fact 1 
Fact 2 
Fact 3 
Fact 4
Fact 5
Fact 6
Fact 7 
sometimes I am afraid you will tell me that this is not a work of fiction
And then i’m going to live, my real life
your real life?
yeah my real life
this is your real life
no, nah naha my real life is
bigger
in proportion?
no in actions, its buzzy with visiting all kinds of countries, and i have a lot of interesting friends who collect all kind of stuff, stuff that doesn’t matter but because they expose it in a beautifully way it suddenly becomes supper interesting like,like,like this friend that collectes sand correls witch are so smal but then he puts a big lens in front of this korrel en you suddenly see all there colors and all there very special very personal details that al this korrels posses. It makes you think about originality with maybe doesn’t assist but there are still al these differences and so it’s a part of a hole and that makes me
imagene that the whole world is a machine
machines never come with any extra parts, you know
they always come with the exact amount they need
so i figured if the entire world was one big machine..
i couldn’t be an extra part
i mean it’s just touching how those sand korrels makes me think and feel and aren't those korrel just uniek it’s like they have ,like a soul

Revision as of 15:53, 7 December 2021

Thesis Outline

Question:

IF WE PLAY DOES THAT MEAN ITS NOT REAL(ITY) ?

Description of two previous video works

THIS IS AND THAT IS AND A BIT OF THIS AND A LOT OF THAT (2018) Is a 10 minutes video in which you see a series of moving portraits of Luca. In every portrait, Luca looks totally different. The video is guided by a narration that speaks an repetitive test always starting with the words: “THIS IS ME…..” The person you see in the image always may look different in every scene but the narrator tells you it's always the same person. The video plays with the versatile aspects of beliefs concerning 'identity', a research into the intriguing differences, the moldability of 'being' and in surge of a kind of essence. We search for authenticity. Yet we want to be accepted, to converse, to belong to one another in risk of losing that very authenticity. The complex game that plays with the urge for acceptance, recognition and the need for authenticity is central to this work.

THIS IS THEM (2020) Is a video in which you see Branda and Hilda playing in a room. They play different characters and scenes. Every scene is introduced by the narrator, always starting with the words; “THIS IS THEM…” Branda and Hilda long for a big life worth living but what does that mean a big life? Who influenced them to believe what is worthy? Branda and Hilda have such a grand idea of what life should be like that they are scared to go outside and live beyond their imagination. So they stay and try to create a vibrant life right there in that room. The question that this work raises is if staying in your room and creating words with your imagination is less of a real life compared to going outside into the world full of people where you can not control all that is happening.


Intention for a new piece

Something that fascinates me is how we as humans seek to connect with others and therefore ourselves - what we will do to experience connection and what kind of connection we allow. I think we often try to be "something" so we can belong to a certain group or movement in order to experience contact. This is how we create our story and our identity … In my work, the central focus is on people and their search for identity. Who are we? Where do we belong? How malleable is our identity? Why do we want confirmation from others? I try to show that people never know or possess one identity. Our identity consists of many layers and different "characters" that we discover and alternate in a playful way, in order to create our own story. I am intrigued by group dynamics: which role/identity someone takes within a group, but also that groups create their identity by opposing other people and groups. People are often looking for confirmation, but this search may lead to alienation, isolation and the feeling of "not being alive". These elements (identity and group dynamics) are in line with my fascination for people who constantly present themselves to the outside world. How do we want other people to see us? How do we want to see ourselves? I do not find this self-conscious urge for presentation to be exclusively negative: I think that the human being is a playful being at its core and that the different ways of presenting yourself to the outside world are in line with our urge to play. By self-presentation, people can playfully create an identity and reality with which he / she can approach and avoid the world. I believe playing is both a flight and a search for genuine contact with ourselves and the other. With the making of a new video called THIS IS US I want to further investigate how a small group of people surge for how they are individually and as one.


THIS IS US (2021) In THIS IS US we see a group of three people in five different scenes. Every scene shows how the group wants to be identified as a whole. “ I belong therefore I am ”. The style of the video is characterized by the four performers, wearing distinct coherent costumes in a minimal scenographic setting. THIS IS US has a non linear dramaturgie, and can be seen as a collage of moments. In this film I'm applying the same restrictions to investigate playing but this time going further by questioning how identity is constructed within a group context. I believe this work can build on the previous works, and has an opportunity to show how people change their identity for the sake of belonging to the other. What role/identity does someone take within a group, and how fast can this role change? This work can also make a new step in showing how groups create their identity by opposing other people and groups. Next to that I wish to make THIS IS US to further discover a (for me) form of dramaturgy. That means I want to look for a dramaturgy that offers me the ideal combination of abstract images and a narrative form. The video works that I have made so far are formalistic and visual, and I have a longing to add a narrative layer to it. I am fascinated by narrative structures that are non-linear and are not based on the direct action of a character, but on his or her psychological inner world. After all, the complicated inner world of man is not linear, but fragmented and contradictory. I want to deepen this by investigating the narrative structures of Roy Anderson and diving into the work of Federico Fellini. In the case of Anderson, because his story structure is characterized by a fragmentary approach and Fellini because he masterfully captured both reality and fantasy in his film language. In this way I would like to investigate the following question: in what way (technically and substantively) do Fellini's absurdist scenes enter into a dialogue with the realistic scenes? This can help me with my own video language, as I want to alternate realism and absurdism without the works losing their sense of unity. With the making of THIS IS US, I wish to develop a narrative structure that combines the concrete with artistic freedom, accessibility with innovation and intelligence with emotion. Because how do you create a story that is as clear as possible, while creating a lot of artistic freedom on a visual level? How do you ensure that the viewer does not experience an "anything goes" feeling? That the artistry of the video actually reinforces rather than hinders the story? Where do the suspension of disbelief and artistic wonder meet? I now imagine THIS IS US to have a dramaturgy in which tableaux vivants show the inner emotional world of the characters, in combination with realistic situations. In that sense, the video will play with the dividing line between realism and fantasy, the real world and the playing world, and between story in language and story in images.



Timeline

DEC THIS IS THIS IS US The intention of new work THIS IS US What do I what the thesis to do

JAN 1) solo (I (me-mine) mode of address) 2) duet (we [us -they- their's] mode of address) 3) quartet (we+ [us -they- their's] mode of address)


FEB First Draft MAR Second Draft + physical layout

APRIL DEADLINE