I used to, perhaps still am, obsessed with the precision of words.
If someone misuses a word, I get annoyed. You can count that as a fact.
But then, when it comes to an idea, I am the opposite of precise.
I become very vague.
Is that how I seek refuge?
My distrust towards the world.
But how can I move the world if I cannot trust it?
This is my dilemma.
I am notating, writing, discussing, organizing, editing, shooting, baking:
feminist film theory, my own position against (or within) it, my discomfort (but also disdain, rather haphazardly), an event of a collective in formation/meetings with people I want to make into moving image, footage of someone else, my own footage, bread.
I keep telling myself to keep calm and give myself the permission to pause. So far it seems to work — as long as I am not overworked — I feel okay. But perhaps I am turning one obsessiveness into another, which is now more obviously work, a durational performance that is too coded for others and not that transparent to myself.
How do you answer that question now — what do you do?
I am becoming more acutely aware of the medium I choose.
I choose the moving image, and am creating for the cinema or cinema-like experiences.
I continue to develop an understanding towards:
- the medium
- Jujube/cinematography, the Cinematic
- and production of the image
- relationship with theories
- essay #2
David: You talked about what you film and why you film, but not so much about how you film it. It will be useful to film these things yourself, to develop this visual language.
Simon: Will be helpful to have longer small group tutorials where we can look through the rushes together.
Steve: Follow the method. No need to be tied up by an overarching theme.
Steve & Ine: There is a connection between the architectural drawings and the things you are filmming.
Ine: We can look through fragments together. Close reading of the materials.