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=draft 19/9=
=draft 19/9=


I am making a documentary film. I describe it as an essay, but instead of words, the scenes unfold into feelings. Putting these feelings into words is difficult, not because I don't know what they are, but because it makes me uncomfortable.
I am making a documentary film. I describe it as an essay, but instead of words, the scenes unfold into feelings. Putting these feelings into words is difficult, not because I don't know what they are, but naming them to an unknown audience makes me vulnerable.


I have tried to skirt around it by sounding like a curator or an academic.  
I have tried to skirt around it by sounding like a curator or an academic.  
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I could say: I am concerned with the poetics of image, the permeability of memory and transcendence.
I could say: I am concerned with the poetics of image, the permeability of memory and transcendence.


But I'd rather say: this is a documentary of loss, loneliness and hope.
Through reading, making and writing[http://pzwiki.wdka.nl/mediadesign/Jujube/text-on-practice-2019] last year, I have begun to own my practice with conviction and belief (rather than an insecurity of not doing enough.) I have shifted the way I frame what I make and how I make, and come to realize that what was once topical and typological have given way to the existential and spiritual.  


As a continuation from the past year, I am taking an episodic approach. I create individual situations for and with people. Then I film what happens within these situations. I use a documentary method in which I work with non-actors and communicate as clearly, and with as much care, as I can. The establishment of boundaries, safety and trust is crucial for these situations.
So, now, I'd rather say: this is a documentary of loss, loneliness and hope.
 
As a continuation from year one, I am taking an episodic approach. I create individual situations for and with people. Then I film what happens within these situations. I use a documentary method in which I work with non-actors and communicate as clearly, and with as much care, as I can. The establishment of boundaries, safety and trust is crucial for these situations.


I am going to work with, respectively (and tentatively), a friend from the Netherlands, a friend from the US and an almost stranger who I met on a hike. (This is tentative as it depends on how the first story turns out. I might find new people and create new situations as the project develops.) When possible, I ask Cem to be my cinematographer. We have collaborated a few times before and have established a great rapport. Before each shooting, we meet and discuss the technical and directorial details.  
I am going to work with, respectively (and tentatively), a friend from the Netherlands, a friend from the US and an almost stranger who I met on a hike. (This is tentative as it depends on how the first story turns out. I might find new people and create new situations as the project develops.) When possible, I ask Cem to be my cinematographer. We have collaborated a few times before and have established a great rapport. Before each shooting, we meet and discuss the technical and directorial details.  
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TBD. Third story: I visit a couple in Sweden and film Sören the husband showing me about his tentmaking endeavors.
TBD. Third story: I visit a couple in Sweden and film Sören the husband showing me about his tentmaking endeavors.


I have always been in search of a form, just like I have been in search of home. I call this feeling (with the help of some tutors): loneliness.
I have always been in search of a form, just like I have been in search of home.  
 
Last year I realized that, through reading, making and writing, film would be the form. I am able to have a sustained practice with it, where the topical and typological become existential and spiritual.  


To convey the universal through the personal — not necessarily my story but any one person's story — is the reason why I am making documentary.
To convey the universal through the personal — not necessarily my story but any one person's story — is the reason why I am making documentary.

Revision as of 12:28, 19 September 2019

https://pad.xpub.nl/p/juSteveComments for 12/9


draft 19/9

I am making a documentary film. I describe it as an essay, but instead of words, the scenes unfold into feelings. Putting these feelings into words is difficult, not because I don't know what they are, but naming them to an unknown audience makes me vulnerable.

I have tried to skirt around it by sounding like a curator or an academic.

I could say: I am concerned with the poetics of image, the permeability of memory and transcendence.

Through reading, making and writing[1] last year, I have begun to own my practice with conviction and belief (rather than an insecurity of not doing enough.) I have shifted the way I frame what I make and how I make, and come to realize that what was once topical and typological have given way to the existential and spiritual.

So, now, I'd rather say: this is a documentary of loss, loneliness and hope.

As a continuation from year one, I am taking an episodic approach. I create individual situations for and with people. Then I film what happens within these situations. I use a documentary method in which I work with non-actors and communicate as clearly, and with as much care, as I can. The establishment of boundaries, safety and trust is crucial for these situations.

I am going to work with, respectively (and tentatively), a friend from the Netherlands, a friend from the US and an almost stranger who I met on a hike. (This is tentative as it depends on how the first story turns out. I might find new people and create new situations as the project develops.) When possible, I ask Cem to be my cinematographer. We have collaborated a few times before and have established a great rapport. Before each shooting, we meet and discuss the technical and directorial details.

In the first story: I offer Marieke, a friend I have made since embarking at PZI, a haircut. The scene takes place in my living room. Before the haircut we will have tea. I have asked Marieke to pick a book from the shelf she is interested in knowing something about. I have something in mind that I want to talk about, but would like to see what evolves from our conversation.

Right now I am clarifying the narrative (and the objectives of the characters, mostly my own objective) and storyboarding the scene for the second time. When I have turned this into a shot list, Cem and I will meet again.

TBD. Second story: I fly to San Francisco and stay at a friend's place. I will film him taking care of his plant. I am envisioning a voiceover of his reading part of the letter he wrote me in August, 2019.

TBD. Third story: I visit a couple in Sweden and film Sören the husband showing me about his tentmaking endeavors.

I have always been in search of a form, just like I have been in search of home.

To convey the universal through the personal — not necessarily my story but any one person's story — is the reason why I am making documentary.

draft 12/9

What do you want to make?

I am making a documentary. Perhaps right now it is useful to think of it as a single screen film. I have described it as "an essay." (I am aware of the term "essay film" but have not read anything about it. I will.)

I am currently writing a few scenes.

- intimate situations -

Some of them came to me during the summer, when I went on a long-distance hiking trip in Iceland. I met a guy named Sören, who makes tents in Southern Sweden as a hobby and used to serve as a pastor. His story, intriguing by itself (as prelimary research suggests, Saint Paul was a tentmaker), affirmed something I had been thinking about my own tent, the journeys I went on with it, mobility, nomadism, unsettledness, beauty. The tent became a symbol of a moving home. And home is a subject I seem to be obsessed with: the home I grew up in caused me much pain, I chose a new home later in life and lost it, I moved around the world, bereft, searching. Search, saudade, loneliness are a few recurring words. (Empathy is another one, but it is more of a process than a result.)

I also sketched out a (more self-contained?) film with a simple story. It was inspired by an instance when I went to the darkroom to develop an old roll, only to find no image showed up. In this story a female photographer documents beauty and cherished moments with her camera. The end scene hints at the unavailability of the images. I have not decided whether she is aware she does not want the physical images all along. In the knowing case she will open the camera at the end, understanding the void of film. In the unknowing case she will go through the development in the darkroom (like what I experienced) and found there was no image -- but even in this version she somehow feels at peace at the accidental (fateful) loss.

Depending on what I unearth during the process, I might produce a few side projects, mostly in the form of zines. One thing I have in mind already is this essay I wrote two years ago: https://medium.com/@bimoribaye/the-rule-of-novels-2f83fd0e0c95

See Jujube/scenes

How do you plan to make it?

I am going to discuss the scenes with Simon and Barend on Sep 12/13 -- mostly about the scope, the extent of iteration and how to focus best. I want to be better at production management this year -- to organize the crew, communicate the shots to cinematographers more effectively and not get caught up by editing due to the lack of planning.

Talk with Simon 16/09

- Filmmaking as bearing witness

- What is the form of the film?

- What is your mission statement/purpose of making a film?

- This film is not a steady state.

- Portraits

I have storyboarded a scene that takes place in my current living room. I am using a documentary method similar to what I used last year (non-actors and use of reality). And, like the scenes I made last year, I am setting up a situation in which the protagonists exist and take actions. This time I plan to be a protagonist in some of the scenes as well.

I have a few questions: when I am a protagonist, do I interact with the cinematographer? To what extent am I creating this world/framing the story? In my talk with S&B I also want to discuss these (definitely to come up with something I can create to help answer the questions.)

One scene I developed around "home" can be shot easily in my living room. Another scene will follow my action at the studio/fabric station and end at the living room. (It involves the making of two cushions, so will take a few days to shoot, which requires planning!)

I am going to visit friends in San Francisco for ten days in October. I wrote a possible scene that would take place in my friend's living room. Similarly, I see a potential scene in Sweden, which requires a great amount of research and coordination. I don't know if I will include (or able to make) them yet. I will decide once I know more about the scenes in Rotterdam.

What is your timetable?

Sep-early Oct: definitely shoot the scene in my living room, perhaps shoot the scene in studio/fabric station In the meantime: decide whether the scenes in SF are feasible

October holiday: SF, recalibration of the project

Nov 9: project proposal (at which point I would know better about the direction of the other scenes)

Post Nov 9: TBD

Why do you want to make it?

I have always been in search of a form, just like I have been in search of home. I call this feeling (with the help of some tutors): loneliness.

Last year I realized that, through reading, making and writing, film would be the form. (Keywords: narrative, autobiography, memory, transcendence)

I am able to have a true practice now with film, where the topical and typological become existential and spiritual.

I want to convey the universal through the personal (not necessarily my story but any one person's story).

Who can help you and how?

I need:

For storyboarding/planning:

- feedback after each shooting with Simon and Barend, ideally in slots longer than 30 minutes; looking at the rushes

For shooting:

- depending on the scene: 1-2 cinematographers, my guest/host, recordist

For editing:

- I have a general idea about the film, but would appreciate feedback from a professional editor (perhaps just one or two consultations, so that I learn new perspectives/potentially new ways of working)

Relation to previous practice

In a structural way, the film resembles something I wrote titled "The Rule of Novels." [2] I turned my focus to film last year, the medium of where I will ground myself for a while. The short films I made last year helped me understand image-making and the way I want to convey meanings through images. My previous of writing and playwriting have helped me in and around filmmaking. See Jujube/text-on-practice-2019

Relation to a larger context

making as existing

the everyday; realism

Theories (film or not, feminist or not, queer or not, critical or not) and historical analysis are only useful to me if they help me 1) understand the medium I am using and 2) define, clarify, further my own practice.

references

notes

Feedback from Paloma: how are the scenes linked?

For 19/09: theme thesis + annotated bibliography with 5 key texts (synopsis)+ a mini prototype/sketch/gesture in relation to your project proposal.