Jujube/openings

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my heart

https://www.brainpickings.org/2019/05/23/my-heart-corinna-luyken/?fbclid=IwAR0A6eeH5e8jZMdVMpKCf9K_V67W-CracBcWoejKVvOOL4l1HqbL6C6S8-A

films in summer

So Long, my Son

3hrs did not feel long. Sadness because I understood their pain. Prolonged moments of silence — something I recognize aesthetically and culturally. One cannot separate oppression, suppression, depression, stoicism, friendship, belief, livelihood, hope, suicide easily in this film.

Good Boys

There was a glitch on the screen for half of the movie, but no one left. A good narrative, a compelling story overall > pure aesthetical images

Tadre Para Morir Joven

beautiful color, melancholic yet not moving. See Good Boys.

Tigers Are Not Afraid

Sat in the wrong theater and saw this by accident. Fantasy horror - still can't stomach gruesome images of ghosts and bodies, but what makes it better than other horror film is that all seems to be a child's dream, and in this case, nightmare. Memorable scenes:

  • Morro (5/6 years old) getting shot led to immediate tears: Morro looked down at the wound, hand covered in his own blood, silent - shocked - confused
  • depiction of an odd and desolated environment (plastic dolls with two heads)
  • abandoned theater filled with juxtapositions: hall with broken fish tank and a puddle of fish (Estrella and Shine sits across the puddle), kids playing with the balls they find, talent show where 'rappop' beatboxes
  • kid gang setting the piano on fire; the conversation darkens as the piano burns down
  • CLOSEUP: Shine finishes painting, touches the painted hand, CUT TO wider shot of the graffiti of the three kids saying goodbye to Morrito

Handheld cinematography is a deliberate choice. In a story filled with fantasy and drama, the slightly shaky camera brings the viewers back to reality: the feeling that "this happened" and "this exists."

morri

via The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

https://www.dictionaryofobscuresorrows.com/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=182&v=1asBOCAmgaw

one thought

The more I make film, the less I care about art [exhibited with a lot of wall text].

what is your purpose

my emotional register as a filmmaker

grammar is related to purpose - there is no inherent right or wrong

film poem

defining purpose makes editing easier

haiku

minimalist

honest

taking control is okay

repeat, taking control is okay

just because you are good at something doesn't mean you shouldn't do it...

confusion

What is in an image? Does the image conduct my intention?

Gee, if my intention is blurry...

If I become aware and articulate all the decision-making in the making of an image...

I feel exhausted.

This thing about moving image is...

I have a ton of footage. I want to be precise. I am not always motivated to edit...

images

For a few years I drew rectangles.

Everything happens within the bounds.

In the beginning, screens are flattened, senitized surfaces.

Now.

Projections are light without a screen.

The screen catches.

What is the materiality of light... Memory image.

Cameras are portable.

I like to be centered when everything else moves.

I do not like moving much, to be honest.

I enjoy moments when things are quiet, when I am quiet.

I enjoy being quiet.

untitled

The hierarchy of images is not dependent on the way they are produced, it comes from within. I have distrusted that within, but I will change now.

I am precious with this image and will not show it until it is done. Test the boundaries.

RSVP photo booth with curtains.

what I used to find beautiful

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Jujube/abyss