Talk:Lola's page

Sal's Feedback: Talk Neutral to Me: What – needs more qualitatitve description. i.e. what does the audience see? What are these blurred images? I am inferring what they are but should be written more plainly. As well, how does neural network play into it what the audience sees? Am I seeing the neural network in action.

Use of the word medium – perhaps not best choice of word in an art context. I think the word ‘interface’ should replace medium

Repetition – repeating yourself a few times but just a matter of rereading and editing to catch those things.

Ipcam What – a story will appear – how?

Why – elaborate on your choice of providing a general narrative for all four. Perhaps about the viewer constantly projecting?

I like the personal voice – definitely absent in my writing

Being Indifferent Start with what it is, not the history. i.e. definitive statement followed by description. i.e. “Being Indifferent is an analog video loop exploring the medium of VHS”

Where are the camera’s pointed? At the audience? Are the screens placed side by side – again, need more description of its appearance

“30 seconds later”.. 30 second delay from live?

How – how do two vhs players share the same tape? Process of retaping not clear

Why – transience (expand vocab) on the one hand you explore analog, on the other hand it is about the digital age. A big question is then – why did you choose analog to explore a digital question? why did you choose VHS as your medium?