Kari this is not really a synopsis sorry everyone I've let you all down, I've let myself down

An article (published in the Guardian 04.10.14) exploring ‘wild and wacky’ performance artist Grace Gelder’s decision to marry herself. Gelder initially gets the idea from a Bjork song called Isobel which features the lyrics ‘My name’s Isobel, married to myself’, which begs the question has Gelder ever heard Defecate on my Face by TISM and did she feel the urge to enact this also? In a succinct innovation of neoliberal concerns Gelder marries a hyper-contemporary brand of reflexive narcissism with a hetero-patriarchal tradition dressed in a gown of self-help language. The marriage features all the usual formalities: She asks permission from her own father before getting down on one knee in her/their(?) favourite spot and popping the question… A nerve-wracking moment for any couple of selves. Some details within the article are left vague and hazy, vows are mentioned and a ring but how the ceremony is enacted is unclear, a little like Gollum’s monologues from lord of the Rings perhaps? Much must be done to uphold the right of the married-to-self individual couple and achieve equal rights to married-to-each-other couples, particularly in terms of tax breaks. Gelder discusses how her ‘self-married status’ (which appear as a new relationship category on Facebook next year) ultimately has given her a greater sense of clarity and purpose but is sadly unrecognized in the eyes of the law ☹

Stop marrying each other, there’s no hope. Masturbate.

Some (wo)men are islands.